buk buk buk buk buk buk says I love you

October 3, 2003 11:09 AM

Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Suggests that human preferences arise from general properties of nervous systems, rather than from face-specific adaptations, in other words sorry fuglies, it's not socially constructed. N.b this research received a 2003 Ig Nobel Prize.
posted by jfuller (21 comments total)

I think that the necrophiliac homosexual duck rape paper is the standout this year. You can't beat 75 minutes(!) of mallard-pumpin' goodness.
posted by ptermit at 11:16 AM on October 3, 2003

The government also recommends duck rape in the unlikely event of a biological or chemical attack launched by Hanna Barbera dogs.
posted by condour75 at 11:29 AM on October 3, 2003

They're *chickens*, you dolt. Apart from you, they're the most stupid creatures on this planet.
posted by t r a c y at 11:48 AM on October 3, 2003

sorry fuglies, it's not socially constructed

My one crumb of comfort, and now science crushes even that beneath its unfeeling heel.

*cries*
posted by sennoma at 11:51 AM on October 3, 2003

Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans.

Taht's just a side effect of the whole Frank Perdue thing.
posted by jonmc at 11:51 AM on October 3, 2003

Studies show chickens prefer beautiful humans who feed them corn and don't decapitate/eat them right away.
posted by Shane at 11:58 AM on October 3, 2003

Fruit flies find me attractive.
posted by kozad at 12:00 PM on October 3, 2003

For a great read filled with stuff like this, check out Survival of the Prettiest.

My favorite factoid: women's faces become measurably more symmetrical during ovulation.
posted by alms at 12:11 PM on October 3, 2003

I have no background in this stuff. Does this mean that chickens want to fuck my girl?
posted by Postroad at 12:16 PM on October 3, 2003

Dude, you should kick that chicken's ass, Postroad!
posted by ph00dz at 12:27 PM on October 3, 2003

> They're *chickens*, you dolt. Apart from you, they're the
> most stupid creatures on this planet.

Yeah, I know. All mine ever talk about is Jaques Derrida, and sometimes Beyonce and Halle Berry. Never a syllable about mathematical physics.
posted by jfuller at 12:28 PM on October 3, 2003

so how come those chickens bother with Gonzo? You'd think they'd be frog marching.
posted by condour75 at 1:10 PM on October 3, 2003

If chickens don't have lips, how can they say "buk buk buk"?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:12 PM on October 3, 2003

Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans

That's because the beautiful people usually live on seafood, steaks and other expensive kinds of meat, thereby saving chickens from the frying pan.
posted by 111 at 1:47 PM on October 3, 2003

It' only fair because - humans prefer beautifull chickens.
posted by troutfishing at 7:21 PM on October 3, 2003

It' only fair because - humans prefer beautifull chickens.

No, just the tasty ones.
posted by krazykity16 at 9:05 PM on October 3, 2003

Didja know chickens don't have asses, phoodz? Weird but true.

They do, however, have teeth. Briefly.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:29 PM on October 3, 2003

Possibly everything that reproduces sexually prefers aesthetically pleasing partners and environment, and defines aesthetically pleasing in broadly the same way: symmetrical, 'bright', not worn by time.

Which goes for our and their tastes in art and furniture too. Chickens would probably prefer to eat shiny, symmetrical food from a shiny, symmetrical bowl, given the choice.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 3:17 AM on October 4, 2003

aeschenkarnos, I'm with you on the first and third aesthetic criteria, but what do you mean by 'bright'?
posted by Slithy_Tove at 6:44 AM on October 4, 2003

It's all true.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:12 AM on October 4, 2003

but what do you mean by 'bright'?

Chickens prefer people with a naturalistic worldview.
posted by kindall at 10:19 AM on October 4, 2003