The best that modern science can say for sexual abstinence is that it's harmless when practiced in moderation.

October 9, 2003 11:45 AM

Sex makes you smell better.Er, in that it improves your sense of smell. And it reduces the risk of heart disease. And relieves pain. And even improves teeth. This Forbes article explains those and other health benefits of getting a little something-something.
posted by NortonDC (33 comments total)

Ha, what an inspiring read -- and funny too. Thanks!
posted by NewBornHippy at 11:55 AM on October 9, 2003

i smoke about 2 packs of cigarettes a day, drink like a fish and haven't had sex in over six years. no wonder i keep recieving deodorant for xmas and birthdays.
posted by poopy at 11:57 AM on October 9, 2003

Great post.
posted by BlueTrain at 12:02 PM on October 9, 2003

Also cures the common cold!!!
Can be used as a high powered cleaning agent!!!!
Cook eggs with it up to four times faster!!
And acts as a effective anti-depressant!!

What CAN'T this stuff do. Now where can I get some of this sex.
posted by Dr_Octavius at 12:10 PM on October 9, 2003

"Better teeth: Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to retard tooth decay. Since this is a family Web site, we will omit discussion of the mineral delivery system."

Swish before you swallow!
posted by five fresh fish at 12:28 PM on October 9, 2003

Better teeth: Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals

In fact, it is higher in nutrient concentration than mothers milk it is the most nutrient dense thing you can eat (in the human body). However what some gain others loose and too frequent loss of Seminal plasma can lead to vitamin and mineral deficiencies in particular those who have mineral absorption problems (low fat diets and other causes). Thus the study says those who have a lot of sex live longer. I would counter and say those who have a lot of sex are healthier to begin with and thus can live longer while those who are less healthy have less sex in general. This fits in nicely with Darwinian survival of the fittest those who are more fit will have more sex.
posted by stbalbach at 12:55 PM on October 9, 2003

Sex makes you smell better.

Than you're not doing it right.
posted by yhbc at 12:58 PM on October 9, 2003

Best news all year.
posted by xmutex at 1:03 PM on October 9, 2003

So you're fucked if you're not fucked.
posted by srboisvert at 1:36 PM on October 9, 2003

Yet *another* reason to be thankful for MetaFilter meet-ups!

Although it's clear to me now that you're only using me for health reasons. Dammit! That just cheapens everything!
posted by onlyconnect at 1:39 PM on October 9, 2003

Has anyone actually demonstrated causality? Middle-aged bastards with high blood pressure and dicky tickers don't get laid a lot.

From the "facts" presented, we could just as easily conclude "healthy people get more sex".
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 1:43 PM on October 9, 2003

Solo sex, however, is reported to impair your eyesight (and cause palm hirsuteness).
posted by AstroGuy at 1:46 PM on October 9, 2003

And acts as a effective anti-depressant!!

Well, duh.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:47 PM on October 9, 2003

So does this mean my life insurance rates will up?
posted by IshmaelGraves at 2:00 PM on October 9, 2003

too much information, onlyconnect.

but i'm very happy for you both.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 2:01 PM on October 9, 2003

Sex is one of the very best things you can do for yourself. It releases tension, changes your energy, connects you with your partner, pulls you out of your head and into your body - I could go on and on. Don't hold back - have it all the time! Sex, glorious sex!
posted by widdershins at 2:12 PM on October 9, 2003

This is funny, as so many of my significant others didn't expect the "I have a headache" would lead to " Lemme jump ya, boy". Yes, it is a pain reliever, especially for those gals who might have troublesome periods, remember to have X amounts of orgasms before it arrives, and you'll be fine, girl.
posted by dabitch at 2:16 PM on October 9, 2003

What stbalbach said. Sex isn't the miracle cure, they've got it all backwards. Strong healthy people, get more sex.
posted by dgaicun at 2:29 PM on October 9, 2003

I love having sex! I wanna have sex RIGHT NOW!
posted by mcsweetie at 2:55 PM on October 9, 2003

R U M or F
posted by xmutex at 3:00 PM on October 9, 2003

Suddenly I have a whole new line of reasoning to present to the S.O.. No longer do I have to rely on my mounds of milky goodness or knee-high boots. Now, I can say, "I'm only doing this out of concern for your health..."
posted by echolalia67 at 3:12 PM on October 9, 2003

I am a middle aged bastard with high blood pressure and I am doing quite well, thank you. . . .
posted by Danf at 3:20 PM on October 9, 2003

also too much information, thank you danf. i'm sorry that my sweeping generalisations obscure heroic standouts like yourself.

(now i'm trying to think of a slogan that combines "blowjobs" and "beta-blockers").
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 3:37 PM on October 9, 2003

Some say "shameless hussy", I say "selfless activist for men's health".
posted by echolalia67 at 3:42 PM on October 9, 2003

Btw, when did Forbes start writing articles about sex? I sure had that magazine pegged wrong.
posted by onlyconnect at 4:15 PM on October 9, 2003

Yeah, who would think to connect sex and money? That's crazy talk!
posted by NortonDC at 5:07 PM on October 9, 2003

I didn't think really wealthy people had sex. I thought there were separate, tasteful bedrooms, and their kids sprang from their heads, like Athena, fully formed -- wearing clever business casual outfits and clutching their Palm Pilots.

But you have a point.
posted by onlyconnect at 6:12 PM on October 9, 2003

Jeez, I must smell wonderful!
posted by amauck at 6:20 PM on October 9, 2003

amauck - Yeah, you know I lived in a warehouse in Baltimore (ahh, the artsy warehouse life) for a few years - and I had no shower. I noticed that, when I had a lot of sex, certain people - random really - seemed to be drawn to me - even when I smelled truly horrible (to me, anyway). Sometimes it was just weird given how much I reeked, especially given how much of a premium Americans put on smelling like chemical soaps.

I later read about studies concerning histocompatibility and attraction which explained the phenomenon.

"Honey, I just LOVE your armpits......."
posted by troutfishing at 9:11 PM on October 9, 2003

Yet *another* reason to be thankful for MetaFilter meet-ups!

Do you want to take out an ad, onlyconnect? I don't think enough people know about this yet.
posted by Summer at 3:13 AM on October 10, 2003

Did onlyconnect get laid, or is s/he just deperate to get laid?
posted by five fresh fish at 11:49 AM on October 10, 2003

I don't think that was a preemptive "thank you."

Oh, and it's definitely "she."
posted by NortonDC at 12:02 PM on October 10, 2003

Well congratulations, onlyconnect! I hope you're getting as good as you give. Or vice versa.

There's fine print somewhere on user signup that first-born must be named after mathowie, right?
posted by five fresh fish at 5:09 PM on October 10, 2003