Ia! Ia! Emeril ftagn! Bam!

October 10, 2003 7:57 AM

Emeril vs. Cthulhu I don't even know how I ran across this - searching for lobster recipes, I think. A bit of Friday humor for all you Lovecraft fans.
posted by starvingartist (10 comments total)

OMG - I never quite knew how to introduce my wife to the horror of the Mythos - but if we combine it with out mutual horror of Emeril.......

(Actually we love Emeril in that kind-of-crazy-uncle-in-the-family-you-never-talk-about way....)
posted by jkaczor at 8:09 AM on October 10, 2003

Phnglui mglw'nafh Emeril R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhatgn!
posted by MrBaliHai at 9:06 AM on October 10, 2003

I haven't had an opportunity to make this comment before, but here goes:
He puts the same goddamned seasoning mix (essence) on everything. This would lead me to believe that everything he cooks tastes pretty much the same.
Anyone who has cooked professionally can see what an ass-clown this guy is.
posted by 2sheets at 10:47 AM on October 10, 2003

Emiril's "essence" = the dried sweatscraped off his uniform anfer every show!

Seriously, I find his show as entertaining as the rest of Food Network's fodder. I've never used a recipe from them as I've lesrned enough in 20 years to know my tastes, which is sort of the point of cooking and sharing one's creations.

BTW, anyone else annoyed as I over the author using "erl" repeatedly as if was the funniest thing ever?
posted by effer27 at 11:33 AM on October 10, 2003

Anyone who has cooked professionally can see what an ass-clown this guy is

I'd expand that to "anyone who cooks a lot and/or who's watched a lot of cooking shows can see what an ass-clown this guy is". I'm no professional (but I do cook a lot, and I've been a fan of cooking shows since I was a kid who never missed an episode of The Galloping Gourmet) and I have the impression he doesn't know much about cooking at all.

He kicks know-nothing assclownitude up quite a few notches. And am I the only one who finds it somewhat creepy that he sprinkles his "essence" all over everything...I mean...ew...

But the Food Network has some good shows, Good Eats, in spite of Alton Brown's stupid rules about things, is one.
posted by biscotti at 11:36 AM on October 10, 2003

At that same moment, Emeril removed the third cover. It was a salad. But this was no ordinary salad. This was the Saladnomicon: the lost salad of the mad Arab Bha'b B'gboi A'l Ahazars: The yellow oil glistened like geoduck-slime on the dark, sodden leaves. The scents of vanilla and garlic intermingled in a way that man was not meant to intermingle. The helpless chunks of once pristine lobster-meat no longer cried out at the indignity that had befallen them: they were broken.

Heh heh.
posted by jokeefe at 1:32 PM on October 10, 2003

So, is it red or white wine that goes with Shaggoth? I forget.
posted by trondant at 1:48 PM on October 10, 2003

I can't stop saying Saladnomicon.
posted by car_bomb at 3:12 PM on October 10, 2003

Eekacat's rule of wine/food pairing:

Q: What wine should I have with this meal?

A: One you like.
posted by Eekacat at 9:02 PM on October 10, 2003

Better reccommendations:
Tako the Octopus Meets the Aliens
Alton Brown Meets Dracula (The Garlic Episode, natch!) although next Tuesday, there's another potential horror classic: Alton Meets Ellen DeGeneres.
posted by wendell at 12:12 AM on October 11, 2003