Kindie for the guys

October 21, 2003 11:19 AM

The first Kindergarten for menis now open in Germany. "Women in Hamburg who want to shop without dragging along grumbling male partners can leave them at the nation's first kindergarten for men. This adult daycare center has plenty of amenities to keep the big boys occupied....(women, uh, or guys) can drop off their partners at the "Männergarten," where for €10 ($11.64), the men get a meal, two beers and an afternoon of boy's games, cards, conversation and sports on TV." -how long before this catches on in malls across North America?
posted by giantkicks (40 comments total)

Sign me up!

I have no idea why my fiancé thinks I need to go shopping with her all the time. In the end we're both miserable because I'm there whining.
posted by KnitWit at 11:25 AM on October 21, 2003

Not trying to ViralFilter or anything, but this "caught on in malls across North America" about fifteen years ago in the form of Dave and Busters.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 11:27 AM on October 21, 2003

Add a jungle gym and a load of videogames, and I'll be first in line.
posted by influx at 11:28 AM on October 21, 2003

my question is - if you're going to end up dropping off the boy for the entirety of the shopping experience - why bring them at all?
posted by nyoki at 11:29 AM on October 21, 2003

So it's basically a sports bar in the mall? Didn't we already do this with Dave & Busters and Gameworks?
posted by benjh at 11:30 AM on October 21, 2003

So basically it's a men's social club - like from yesteryear. Only this time instead of women complaining that they can't gain membership/access - they're herding them there for safekeeping. Sounds like a passive-agressive way to ensure you get your time out with the boys (and girls!).
posted by ao4047 at 11:38 AM on October 21, 2003

The first Kindergarten for men

Great! I'm hoping they'll have this guy.
posted by soyjoy at 11:38 AM on October 21, 2003

Get used to it KnitWit. My wife doesn't realize that if I go to Marshalls or TJMaxx or one of those other clothing discounters, I have seen all I need to in about 15 minutes. That is one of the reasons I love her, she buys my clothes and keeps me dressed presentably. The gatherer shopping technique of combing through the shelves looking for the best deals is foreign to me. I have much more of a hunter technique of "there is what I am looking for, walk to register." Unfortunately for me, if they ever get these in the US, I am uninterested in sports broadcasts. Give me the video games too.
posted by spartacusroosevelt at 11:43 AM on October 21, 2003

What if you don't like shopping or hanging out with the boys?
posted by bendybendy at 11:49 AM on October 21, 2003

What if you're a woman who doesn't much like shopping and wants to hang out with the boys?
posted by orange swan at 11:57 AM on October 21, 2003

Why don't they just go shopping with their girlfriends instead?
posted by Blue Stone at 11:59 AM on October 21, 2003

We have this covered already, with bars next to Wal Marts. No gender stereotyping required.
posted by yesster at 12:02 PM on October 21, 2003

I just want to know what happens if the wives don't pick up their men again.
posted by tonelesscereal at 12:04 PM on October 21, 2003

No adult diapers? No large-breasted matrons doling out discipline? I'm shocked.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 12:13 PM on October 21, 2003

I'd pay €10 for a meal and two beers any day.
posted by gottabefunky at 12:28 PM on October 21, 2003

For those who are interested (and can read German) here is the Nox Bar's website, and here is the Maennergarten's website.
posted by TedW at 12:31 PM on October 21, 2003

Didn't we already do this with Dave & Busters and Gameworks?

Yeah, but they let the girls in there, plus all the annoying teenagers. I used to go to the record store while the better half shopped, but that's boring now. I'd love to go to this place, but then again, I'm looking forward to the rest home, as well.
posted by jonmc at 12:47 PM on October 21, 2003

Heh, KnitWit and Spartacusroosevelt: My beau loves the hunt of shopping - the sensory experience of touching every goddamn thing in the store... the adbuster in me sees this as programming us for craving lifestyle through consumer goods. I on the other hand am very goal-centered with shopping. I'm here for khakis and that's it! No talking! I find myself sitting with the rest of the husbands at the dressing rooms. Once, just to terrorize him I bought a pair of shoes without him present - and without trying them on first. I thought he was gonna stroke out. Of course all bets are off in a tech-toy store like Best Buy.
posted by ao4047 at 2:20 PM on October 21, 2003

Horrified. My boyfriend does so much more shopping than I do. He even sometimes conceals purchases and then whips them out later. I do not relish in shopping with him, because either I'm done in ten minutes or making no transactions at all. This Women-Shop-and-Men-Watch-Sports thing does not sit well with me at all.
posted by jennanemone at 2:25 PM on October 21, 2003

I blogged about this a few weeks ago and the general consensus amongst my friends is that the guys would love it and the women all thought it was a great idea....which raises the question of why women who want to shop take men who don't with them. This makes no sense. Or, to quote South Park; "This is a wookie."

Like the ladies above, I'm a very goal oriented shopper. In and out. I hate shopping with a passion generally reserved for one's ex's. And yet, I love shopping online...go figure.

That being said...I want to open a series of them in Dallas...they'd go over huge here. The demographics are perfect...overindulged women, spoiled boys in men's pants, more money than common sense...it's the ultimate market.
posted by dejah420 at 2:29 PM on October 21, 2003

Would the guys love it? In the Maennergarten photos, I get the picture that the average male is into carpentry, sports, beer, and tits. This Maxim Magazine stereotype is just as destructive to men as is the reigning stereotype that ladies shop nonstop.
posted by jennanemone at 2:37 PM on October 21, 2003

You can keep the carpentry and sports.
posted by InfidelZombie at 2:50 PM on October 21, 2003

Really a nice provocation :) but I was thinking...mhhhh..there are power tools, maxims, pool ..beer....mh..yet there is something missing !

I don't know exactly...OH yeah , babysitters ! Of course you need some girl to supervise the "kids" playing in a playground, would you leave them alone with all these dangerous powertoys ? That would be so insensible and unscrupolous.Female babysitters of course , I guess age around 18-50. Too young or too old and you must babysit the babysitter.
posted by elpapacito at 2:51 PM on October 21, 2003

I find this whole concept insulting to the intelligence of both men and women. Any man that is not capable of amusing himself for a couple of hours or of spending some time with his wife/partner/whatever doing something that she enjoys without whining about it belongs in a kindergarten, at least mentally.
posted by dg at 2:54 PM on October 21, 2003

Why the fuck is this necessary? If I want to do a bout of retail therapy, I let my partner do whatever he wants - stay home, come with, go to a tittie bar, watch UFC with his friends - it's his choice, his business. He can pick and buy his own damn clothes, he knows better than I do what he likes to wear.

I really don't like the message this gives - couples mustn't be separated by more than a few blocks at any given time outside the workplace, men must be treated like overgrown, sullen children, women are required to micromanage their partner's every move, every thought. No wonder we have such a big problem with divorce. We hold up unhealthy dependency and infantilizing/patronizing our partner as some sort of virtue, a platonic ideal of "the perfect relationship". Gaaah!
posted by echolalia67 at 3:56 PM on October 21, 2003

We hold up unhealthy dependency and infantilizing/patronizing our partner as some sort of virtue

Oh infantilism rules. All those people who dress up like babies and play with toys and pacifiers? Thems mah peepz. Except for the pooping in diapers thing.
posted by jonmc at 4:24 PM on October 21, 2003

"Men in Hamburg who want to watch football without having to deal with nagging female partners can leave them at the nation's first kindergarten for women. This adult daycare center has plenty of amenities to keep the big girls occupied.... Men can drop off their partners at the "Womännergarten," where for €10 ($11.64), the women get a meal, two chocolate bars and an afternoon of girl's games, conversation and Soap Operas on TV."


Why do I have a feeling that wouldn't go over well?
posted by 4easypayments at 4:26 PM on October 21, 2003

Haha echolalalia :) I wouldn't take that "kindergarten" stuff too seriously. The "message" as you see it seems to be addressed to women to micromanage , treat like a child, don't expect responsability from partners etc. That's a reasonable analysis you did. But look at my message above in which I call that a "provocation" and counter the provocation with another not so substle one like "ok, leave me in the kindergarten ALONE with the BABYSITTER :) " which is supposed to ring some alarm bell in women leaving their partners in a "safe zone" making them realize how delusional the whole mangarten is. Reaching a 50/50 agreement is much better and costs -10euro I think :)
posted by elpapacito at 4:28 PM on October 21, 2003

"my question is - if you're going to end up dropping off the boy for the entirety of the shopping experience - why bring them at all?"

Because women can't drive?
posted by spazzm at 5:24 PM on October 21, 2003

This Women-Shop-and-Men-Watch-Sports thing does not sit well with me at all.

It's on tv, so it must be true!

Any man that is not capable of amusing himself for a couple of hours or of spending some time with his wife/partner/whatever doing something that she enjoys without whining about it belongs in a kindergarten, at least mentally.

Yes.

I really don't like the message this gives - couples mustn't be separated by more than a few blocks at any given time outside the workplace, men must be treated like overgrown, sullen children, women are required to micromanage their partner's every move, every thought. No wonder we have such a big problem with divorce. We hold up unhealthy dependency and infantilizing/patronizing our partner as some sort of virtue, a platonic ideal of "the perfect relationship".

Yes.

It's nice to see that there are some women who don't buy into the stereotypes.
posted by rushmc at 6:31 PM on October 21, 2003

elpapacito: yeah, I shouldn't be getting my "feminist ire" on, but this "men are just big dumb children who are, by nature, irresponsible and thus need to be coddled and managed"shit's been bugging me for quite some time. Some of the shit I hear come out of other women's mouths makes me want to bitch-slap them.

For example, this one time, we were in an airport and were lugging our carry-on luggage to a connecting flight when this emaciated, bleach blonde woman with a big tacky diamond ring glares at my partner and turns to me and says " Why are you carrying all of that luggage? You should make him do that." MAKE him do that? With what - a cattle prod? WTF!! I just told her that I could carry my own luggage, thank you very much.

If a man WANTS to carry my luggage - gee, that's awfully nice of him, thanks. MAKE him do it - that's a great way to get dumped at 50 by a husband who is tired of your shrewish, bossy, entitled attitude. Same goes for shopping - he wants to come along - great. He doesn't want to come along - that's fine, too. If you can't treat your partner like an adult, you shouldn't be in a relationship.
posted by echolalia67 at 6:39 PM on October 21, 2003

this "men are just big dumb children who are, by nature, irresponsible and thus need to be coddled and managed"shit's been bugging me for quite some time.

Well, I certainly am, and i ain't carryin' nobody's nothin.
posted by jonmc at 7:05 PM on October 21, 2003

I enjoy shopping with/for women and will always carry the heavier bits of your luggage. Single women, please enquire within (brain required).
posted by rushmc at 8:47 PM on October 21, 2003

Like OrangeSwan, I'm a female who must've been behind the door when they handed out the Shopping Gene. And I'm phobic about crowded public places as well.

I also have a strong distinctions between what's "fun" shopping and not. Book or music stores, English Gardens, etc. - that's entertainment. But clothes and groceries ... blech. I definitely wish someone else would do all that while I played.

However, those boring errands are part of being a grownup. So I agree it's a stereotypical, childish cliche for a man to let (make?) his wife buy his socks (or the kids' clothes or all the groceries).

In the same way, it drives me nuts when people say a man is "helping" with the housework. What? Like that's not automatically 50 percent his responsibility.
posted by NorthernLite at 8:56 PM on October 21, 2003

"my question is - if you're going to end up dropping off the boy for the entirety of the shopping experience - why bring them at all?"

Because women can't drive?

Yeah, tell that to the guy who ran a red light and t-boned my car, totaling it.
posted by echolalia67 at 9:07 PM on October 21, 2003

What NorthernLite said, all of it. Yes.
posted by jennanemone at 9:08 PM on October 21, 2003

I enjoy shopping with/for women and will always carry the heavier bits of your luggage.
Ditto. I will also open the card door etc, but that is just the way I was raised. I get angry (sometimes more than I should) by being lumped in with that whole "football and beer" crowd that, in my opinion, do not represent real men at all. Real men accept that adults have responsibilities and shoulder them, if not willingly, at least without whining too much.

... it's a stereotypical, childish cliche for a man to let (make?) his wife buy his socks ...
You can add to your list men who are incapable of packing a suitcase to go on a trip, which has always puzzled me. There is no way I would want someone else to decide for me what I am going to wear if I go away. I second the housework thing, too.

Because women can't drive?
Women can drive fine. Now reading maps, that's another story...
posted by dg at 9:11 PM on October 21, 2003

I enjoy shopping with/for women and will always carry the heavier bits of your luggage.

Ditto. I will also open the card door etc, but that is just the way I was raised.

And that's great. I like courteous men with good manners. Hell, I like courteous, well-mannered people, period. I just have a big problem with the whole "make him behave" mentality - except of course, in the confines of the bedroom if he asks nicely ;)
posted by echolalia67 at 10:03 PM on October 21, 2003

Maybe I'm just lucky. I'm a fashion victim waiting to happen and my husband has a sense of style. He likes to go with me and I find his advice very helpful when trying to find something to wear. He also manages our toddler while I browse.

At home, we both have designated chores around the house and will swap them around if necessary. It may not be my day to clean the litter box, but if his work schedule is preventing him from getting to it, I will. We negotiate everything. We have to or we'd end up assuming the other will take care of it.

The only thing... I just have to remember to be as patient when he's browsing for his stuff as he is for me.
posted by onhazier at 8:00 AM on October 22, 2003

I think I posted this link in jest. At the least I was thinking sarcastically. What's not to love about shopping? For the guy in me, I'm guessing it taps into and satiates the hunter gatherer; looking for the perfect "kill" hidden amongst the inedible. I f-ing love to shop. All my friends freak when I offer to tag along with them on a shopping excursion. I'm the super consultant, offering insightful critiques on any item, and I'll shop for how ever long it takes. I'm an uber-shopper. Watching sports usually bores the poop out of me...unless it's my home team and it's play-off hockey (the Canucks KICK ASS!!). Besides that, sitting around chatting and playing men's games with total strangers would be quite stressful. -I've never understood that for some people anything is better than shopping. To me that's incredible.
posted by giantkicks at 10:46 AM on October 22, 2003