Ah, the trifecta: salad, breach births and feces. posted by jon_kill at 8:11 AM on October 29, 2003
Um, yeah. It's a cute concept for the first two or three entries. But why would someone go to so much trouble to set up a page like this? Does something so ridiculous even qualify as a "hoax?" posted by soyjoy at 8:33 AM on October 29, 2003
I don't even want to know why you need a set of tongs to deal with your feces. posted by trbrts at 8:38 AM on October 29, 2003
sigh... another shitty posting on mefi posted by reality at 8:43 AM on October 29, 2003
Lacking a sensayuma, are we?
More like, lacking a sensascrollthruscreenaftascreenaftajokesalreadybeenhammadintoground.
But thanks for your concern. posted by soyjoy at 8:48 AM on October 29, 2003
well. as an ignorant amurkin insulated from so much of the rest of the planet's customs and culture, i was intrigued. i still can't imagine WHY these things would exist, but the first time someone told me people still use rocks or go in open holes in the floor etc i couldn't imagine that either. i hadn't considered the possibility of a hoax - which DOES seem more likely the longer i attempt to muddle out the reasons these things could possibly have for existing, in so many decorative and personalized styles. on the other hand, when i ran this on blort, i got email from some woman who said she had heard these things existed but had never been sure until she saw the site. can anyone with a bit more worldly knowledge offer any information? hoax or human pooper-scoopers? posted by quonsar at 9:07 AM on October 29, 2003
Do people use the tongs to remove their pooh? I'm just confused about the concept. And maybe that's not such a bad thing.
Has anyone checked Snopes yet? posted by fenriq at 9:14 AM on October 29, 2003
I'm still trying to figure out what to do with these three damned sea shells. posted by substrate at 9:17 AM on October 29, 2003 [1 favorite]
I'm so good at it, I can use chopsticks! posted by stifford at 9:19 AM on October 29, 2003
Looks like you can buy your fecal tongs at Linens N' Things or Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm getting married in January. Perhaps I can add some to my gift registry. Glad someone came up with something to toss salads AND remove pooh. posted by alou73 at 9:20 AM on October 29, 2003
I believe that something like this does exist in the armamentarium of modern medicine. They're used when someone is sufficiently constipated to have feces that are effectively ossified. I have no idea whether these tongs have the long and illustrious cross-cultural history that the web site describes.
I will offer that some of them look like they would be extremely painful to use. posted by alms at 9:23 AM on October 29, 2003
I just use my fingers. posted by angry modem at 9:27 AM on October 29, 2003
Some discussion here, including some attempts at debunking.
Google didn't show me much, and what I saw were all links back to the fecal tong collection site. posted by ursus_comiter at 9:36 AM on October 29, 2003
These are useful for those who wish to use fingers or chopsticks in place of tongs. posted by alms at 9:54 AM on October 29, 2003
This page reminds me of Buddy Hackett's modus operandi, wherein a basic joke is repeated over and over to make sure everyone gets it. Although, apparently, even that doesn't work...
Meanwhile, back in reality, I imagine that a doctor would just use some forceps to pull out anything (ossified shit, gerbil, etc.) from someone's rectum. Anything requiring more long-term usage would probably result in a colostomy. posted by mkultra at 9:58 AM on October 29, 2003
Well dang, alms, I guess I stand corrected! posted by mkultra at 10:01 AM on October 29, 2003
I didn't realize that so many different types existed. I still use the same set of wooden ones that I got at a thrift store in Hackensack years ago. posted by GiantRobot at 10:54 AM on October 29, 2003
i would guess that the tongs are for *handling* feces, rather than removing them. i guess it makes sense. how else would you collect a stool sample? i vote no hoax. posted by mrgrimm at 11:04 AM on October 29, 2003
"honey, have you seen the shitgrippers?" posted by quonsar at 11:16 AM on October 29, 2003
Damn, I got all excited thinking the post said fecal thongs... posted by vito90 at 11:58 AM on October 29, 2003
The fact that this guy got his first pair of fecal tongs for his bar mitzvah made me glad I'm a gentile. posted by Oriole Adams at 12:33 PM on October 29, 2003
Otherwise this is just plain weird, not really funny, but this one cracked me up:
"One can see [fecal tongs] in Neolithic cave paintings in Lascaux, France" posted by ikalliom at 12:37 PM on October 29, 2003
Another crappy topic. posted by Trik at 12:39 PM on October 29, 2003
Damnit ikalliom, I was about to say that (exact same link, too).
Roughage is the answer, my friends. posted by Hildegarde at 2:35 PM on October 29, 2003
I'm sure snopes will eventually get around to this... right now they're probably too busy writing up this story. posted by soyjoy at 2:42 PM on October 29, 2003
quonsar = teh jealous of my cleverosity ;p posted by Trik at 3:14 PM on October 29, 2003
Nice Demolition Man reference! Terrible movie. posted by inksyndicate at 11:28 PM on October 29, 2003
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posted by jon_kill at 8:11 AM on October 29, 2003