Comments on: Worst. Reincarnation. Form. Ever.

Worst. Reincarnation. Form. Ever.

qDot — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 07:55:55 -0800

By: jon_kill

jon_kill — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 08:11:20 -0800

Ah, the trifecta: salad, breach births and feces.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 08:33:29 -0800

Um, yeah. It's a cute concept for the first two or three entries. But why would someone go to so much trouble to set up a page like this? Does something so ridiculous even qualify as a "hoax?"

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 08:35:02 -0800

Lacking a sensayuma, are we? See the guestbook for more laffs.

By: trbrts

trbrts — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 08:38:38 -0800

I don't even want to know why you need a set of tongs to deal with your feces.

By: reality

reality — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 08:43:15 -0800

sigh... another shitty posting on mefi

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 08:48:58 -0800

Lacking a sensayuma, are we? More like, lacking a sensascrollthruscreenaftascreenaftajokesalreadybeenhammadintoground. But thanks for your concern.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:07:11 -0800

well. as an ignorant amurkin insulated from so much of the rest of the planet's customs and culture, i was intrigued. i still can't imagine WHY these things would exist, but the first time someone told me people still use rocks or go in open holes in the floor etc i couldn't imagine that either. i hadn't considered the possibility of a hoax - which DOES seem more likely the longer i attempt to muddle out the reasons these things could possibly have for existing, in so many decorative and personalized styles. on the other hand, when i ran this on blort, i got email from some woman who said she had heard these things existed but had never been sure until she saw the site. can anyone with a bit more worldly knowledge offer any information? hoax or human pooper-scoopers?

By: fenriq

fenriq — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:14:43 -0800

Do people use the tongs to remove their pooh? I'm just confused about the concept. And maybe that's not such a bad thing. Has anyone checked Snopes yet?

By: substrate

substrate — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:17:03 -0800

I'm still trying to figure out what to do with these three damned sea shells.

By: stifford

stifford — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:19:06 -0800

I'm so good at it, I can use chopsticks!

By: alou73

alou73 — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:20:13 -0800

Looks like you can buy your fecal tongs at Linens N' Things or Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm getting married in January. Perhaps I can add some to my gift registry. Glad someone came up with something to toss salads AND remove pooh.

By: alms

alms — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:23:57 -0800

I believe that something like this does exist in the armamentarium of modern medicine. They're used when someone is sufficiently constipated to have feces that are effectively ossified. I have no idea whether these tongs have the long and illustrious cross-cultural history that the web site describes. I will offer that some of them look like they would be extremely painful to use.

By: angry modem

angry modem — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:27:36 -0800

I just use my fingers.

By: ursus_comiter

ursus_comiter — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:36:28 -0800

Some discussion here, including some attempts at debunking. Google didn't show me much, and what I saw were all links back to the fecal tong collection site.

By: alms

alms — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:54:22 -0800

Of Related Interest (first entry and several others NSFW). These are useful for those who wish to use fingers or chopsticks in place of tongs.

By: mkultra

mkultra — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:58:56 -0800

This page reminds me of Buddy Hackett's modus operandi, wherein a basic joke is repeated over and over to make sure everyone gets it. Although, apparently, even that doesn't work... Meanwhile, back in reality, I imagine that a doctor would just use some forceps to pull out anything (ossified shit, gerbil, etc.) from someone's rectum. Anything requiring more long-term usage would probably result in a colostomy.

By: mkultra

mkultra — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 10:01:25 -0800

Well dang, alms, I guess I stand corrected!

By: GiantRobot

GiantRobot — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 10:54:44 -0800

I didn't realize that so many different types existed. I still use the same set of wooden ones that I got at a thrift store in Hackensack years ago.

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 11:04:01 -0800

i would guess that the tongs are for *handling* feces, rather than removing them. i guess it makes sense. how else would you collect a stool sample? i vote no hoax.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 11:16:32 -0800

"honey, have you seen the shitgrippers?"

By: vito90

vito90 — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 11:58:18 -0800

Damn, I got all excited thinking the post said fecal thongs...

By: Oriole Adams

Oriole Adams — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 12:33:42 -0800

The fact that this guy got his first pair of fecal tongs for his bar mitzvah made me glad I'm a gentile.

By: ikalliom

ikalliom — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 12:37:27 -0800

Otherwise this is just plain weird, not really funny, but this one cracked me up: "One can see [fecal tongs] in Neolithic cave paintings in Lascaux, France"

By: Trik

Trik — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 12:39:47 -0800

Another crappy topic.

By: whatnotever

whatnotever — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 12:45:02 -0800

Damnit ikalliom, I was about to say that (exact same link, too). vito90, this good enough for ya? But, well, the advertised site is... yeah.

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 13:26:49 -0800

add some to my gift registry Fecal tongs, the only enema in sterling silver.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 13:45:30 -0800

Another crappy topic. another crappy user with no contact info who is uniquely qualified to judge the topics of others while having not a single topic of his own to his credit.

By: widdershins

widdershins — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 13:51:10 -0800

quonsar, you don't think it was, you know, a pun?

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 14:04:48 -0800

*blushes, slaps forehead, runs screaming from the room*

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 14:27:20 -0800

Pun, yes, but hardly original.

By: Hildegarde

Hildegarde — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 14:35:18 -0800

Roughage is the answer, my friends.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 14:42:34 -0800

I'm sure snopes will eventually get around to this... right now they're probably too busy writing up this story.

By: Trik

Trik — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 15:14:09 -0800

quonsar = teh jealous of my cleverosity ;p

By: inksyndicate

inksyndicate — Wed, 29 Oct 2003 23:28:11 -0800

Nice Demolition Man reference! Terrible movie.