Comments on: ManOnTheFsuckingMoon

ManOnTheFsuckingMoon

srboisvert — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:13:47 -0800

Neil Armstrong. The awful truth. In 1969, Neil Armstrong made history by becoming the first man to walk on the moon, uttering the immortal phrase, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Or did he? Previously suppressed footage discovered by blogjam shows that Armstrong's reaction was a great deal more uninhibited than history suggests, and that a hasty editing job was needed to prepare the astronaut's moment of glory for broadcast. So here, for the first time, is the unedited NASA film from the triumphant Apollo 11 mission. [Maybe NSFW]

By: kenaman

kenaman — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:23:24 -0800

"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." was a flawed statement anyway. Man and mankind are the same thing. "One small step for A man, one giant leap for mankind." would have made sense. Brings to mind Homer's statement to Lisa re: meat eating "Lisa get a hold of yourself. This is lamb, not a lamb."

By: hilatron

hilatron — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:37:27 -0800

Oh, give the guy a break. He was on the fucking moon!

By: adrianhon

adrianhon — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:37:58 -0800

kenaman: I recall reading something that said he was supposed to say "One small step for A man" etc, but given the occasion he fluffed his line.

By: biffa

biffa — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:38:38 -0800

Stephen Hawking was on the moon?

By: attackthetaxi

attackthetaxi — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:40:13 -0800

on preview, what adrianhon said. It's a faster world now.

By: kenaman

kenaman — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:40:57 -0800

hilatron. I just think that it is pathetic that the first man to set foot on another heavenly body messed up his big line.

By: jpburns

jpburns — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:41:05 -0800

Tee hee hee. They said fuck. Hilarious! Now who's gonna reimburse me for that keyboard? (yawn...)

By: attackthetaxi

attackthetaxi — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:44:42 -0800

The alternate take was actually 'One small step for a man, one giant leap for the man.'

By: kenaman

kenaman — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:47:44 -0800

I knew it had something to do with "the man". As Jack Handey says : If doctors ever tell you that you've "flipped out," don't believe them, and just keep on doing what you were doing, because something tells me "the Man"

By: raygirvan

raygirvan — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:54:24 -0800

I notice the small print: this is straight out of The Onion's book, Our Dumb Century.

By: KnitWit

KnitWit — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 05:05:20 -0800

Funny. My parents both talk about hearing Armstrong flub his line, and yell and scream about the editing of history. Supposedly he was put off enough by the low gravity when he took his first steps that he said, "One giant leap for man, one small step for mankind."

By: y2karl

y2karl — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 05:21:34 -0800

The Fucking Moon--isn't that the first full moon of Spring break? Or is that one the Fucking In Public Moon?

By: rcade

rcade — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 05:25:42 -0800

"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." was a flawed statement anyway. Man and mankind are the same thing. One small step for pedant, one giant leap for pedantkind.

By: D.C.

D.C. — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 05:28:58 -0800

Not only is the audio stolen from The Onion, it's a crappy edit of it with poorly selected video clips. The original audio focuses on the first step on the moon and more realistically parodies the actual moon landing audio. It's MUCH more funny.

By: jalexei

jalexei — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 05:30:30 -0800

I was always told he did say "One small step for A man..." but the recording was garbled a bit and missed it. Revisionist history?

By: ciderwoman

ciderwoman — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 05:37:32 -0800

Just imagine the amount of swearing if they'd left him there.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 05:44:58 -0800

original audio focuses on the first step on the moon There's original audio? I only knew about the "transcript" in the Onion book.

By: kenaman

kenaman — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 06:00:03 -0800

One small step for A pedant, one giant leap for pedantkind.

By: rcade

rcade — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 06:16:48 -0800

One big laugh from rcade.

By: Dagobert

Dagobert — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 06:19:45 -0800

Good luck, Mr. Gorsky!!

By: Lokheed

Lokheed — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 06:36:32 -0800

Standup comedian Dana Gould does a great riff on how Armstrong flubbed the line, which implies that there was a roomfull of copy writers in a dimly lit room trying to come up with snappy lines for Neil to say. The first idea tossed out? "Holy shit, the moon!"

By: Outlawyr

Outlawyr — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 06:46:30 -0800

[Maybe NSFW] Please remove "maybe". Thank you. This is truly not funny. As for the flubbed line . . .

By: joecacti

joecacti — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 06:48:45 -0800

Now, there are alot of people that think the landing was faked. I always wonder why someone with a big telescope doesn't just point it over at the landing site and photograph the flag and rover that are still supposedly there...

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 06:52:47 -0800

joecacti, there is one word in your comment that causes me to lose all respect for you. Surprisingly, it's not "alot."

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 07:04:57 -0800

Joecacti, no Earth-bound scopes are powerful enough to make out details as small as the lander. I always wondered if the Hubble could do it. Perhaps the moon is too close and too fast for the Hubble to focus in on it, I don't know. Sure would be cool though. I look forward to the day some private company lands a robot to take pictures of the Apollo sites.

By: theora55

theora55 — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 07:17:46 -0800

Silly Joecacti, you can't photograph something that's Not There. M. Boisvert, my fucking department thanks you for fucking sharing.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 07:22:39 -0800

I look forward to the day some private company lands a robot to take pictures of the Apollo sites. Uh huh. After that robot delivers the evidence to the moon's surface, you mean. Anyway... folks, this is a cute trip down memory lane, but come on. The whole thing is five years old. Five fucking years old! "Those cornball antics may play in the sticks, but this is MetaFilter!"

By: ElvisJesus

ElvisJesus — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 07:30:20 -0800

"Those cornball antics may play in the sticks, but this is MetaFilter!" ...you mean fucking MetaFilter

By: Freaky

Freaky — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 07:31:41 -0800

Hubble isn't that big, either; smaller than many earth-bound telescopes, in fact. It's advantage isn't how big it is, but that it doesn't have to worry about the atmosphere.

By: Cyrano

Cyrano — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 07:42:28 -0800

Not that this solves the Can We See The Hardware debate, but I found this kinda cool.

By: O9scar

O9scar — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 07:53:33 -0800

Also available in t-shirt form.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 07:55:50 -0800

I always wondered if the Hubble could do it. ISTR, but could be wrong, that the moon is too bright for Hubble's detectors, so it isn't allowed to look at it.

By: qDot

qDot — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 07:58:23 -0800

A rat done bit my sister Nell with Whitey on the FUCKING MOON.

By: palegirl

palegirl — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 08:01:47 -0800

I heard that the real coverup is that he actually said My pants are off. Do you love BBQ sauce? This comes from reading Quicksilver and biased I Ching. Will our fearless leader Matt play along? He's swell. Hoping you pick up the beat, Quonsar. So cute. George Bush belongs in a kennel with Karl Rove.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 08:03:33 -0800

There's original audio? I only knew about the "transcript" in the Onion book I swear I've heard this joke 5-10 years ago on a comedy show of some kind (Mr. Show? Some other HBO sketch comedy thing?), with better audio.

By: adamms222

adamms222 — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 09:31:32 -0800

Correction, mathowie... the Mr. Show skit to which you refer actually concerns an even greater triumph of man - blowing up the moon ("We have the technology, the time is now, children are our future...")

By: JanetLand

JanetLand — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 09:35:23 -0800

people that think the landing was faked Yeah, that's my only memory of the moon landing -- watching it on tv down in Florida and my granddaddy telling us it was fake, just a movie from Hollywood.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 09:57:21 -0800

heh. this rang a bell...i heard this clip (slightly edited) on the evolution control committee's excellent cd, plagiarythm nation*, earlier this year. the band credits the audio to The Onion's audio book, Our Dumb Century. also, i am not fooled by this post. your conspiracy will be uncovered. * well worth checking out. also contains the fantastic track Rocked by Rape, featuring the sultry voice of Dan Rather.

By: RavinDave

RavinDave — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 10:10:03 -0800

What a sucker. I'd have made a side deal with some megabuck corporation. My first words on the moon woulda been something along the lines of: "Drink Coke!"

By: Espoo2

Espoo2 — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 10:31:41 -0800

OOOoooooolllld school... These are the guys responsible for the audio, actually... Evolution Control Committee.

By: dobbs

dobbs — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 10:32:37 -0800

This wasn't funny in the slightest. What's with the current thinking that people saying "fuck" is somehow funny. Reminds me of all those 80s music videos where old people are inspired to start "rockin' out." Ick.

By: scody

scody — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 10:38:39 -0800

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin Have a Bit of Fun on the Moon: Neil Armstrong: "Hello, people of earth. As you can see, the Sea of Tranquility here, there's the mountains in the distance, there's the earth! There, you're looking back up at yourselves there. Over to my right, I can see... a fucking monster! There's a monster behind me! Aaah! Get off my leg!" Buzz Aldrin appears in a monster outfit: "Ooooaaaah! Raaaah!" Neil Armstong, freaked out: "He's got me, Houston. The monster's got me! He wants cash! He's got my hand up behind my back. I think he knows jujitsu. He wants cash for the release of my life. Send a million to –- no, two million dollars. Leave it in a bag by the Sea of Tranquility.... I don't know, the North Shore! What the fuck?" [/Eddie Izzard]

By: inpHilltr8r

inpHilltr8r — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 14:34:39 -0800

What's with the current thinking that people saying "fuck" is somehow funny. Current? Fucking hell man, where the fuck have you fucking been for the last four fucking decades?

By: dness2

dness2 — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 14:46:48 -0800

I thought the chickenbastard was funny... What's a chickenbastard anyway?

By: dness2

dness2 — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 14:47:27 -0800

Besides a double fowl.

By: moonbiter

moonbiter — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 15:36:26 -0800

I look forward to the day some private company lands a robot to take pictures of the Apollo sites. The ESA's SMART-1 has a high-resolution micro-camera onboard. I wonder if it is powerful enough to do the job. It will be doing some extensive mapping.

By: stbalbach

stbalbach — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 17:44:58 -0800

I thought he said "JHC in a chicken basket"

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Fri, 31 Oct 2003 07:49:44 -0800

By the way, what in the hell is "Fsucking"? (page title) Sounds like a wonderful hybrid. With the double entendre on "Moon," I'm even more intrigued.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Fri, 31 Oct 2003 19:58:16 -0800

What's a chickenbastard anyway? *raises hand, sheepishly*

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Fri, 31 Oct 2003 21:36:05 -0800

Nathalia Crane once said, "There is glory in a great mistake." Armstong's inadvertent of a single "a" could perhaps have been the single greatest flub seen and heard on television in the history of the medium, had it not been for practically every U.S. president since. "I am not a crook." "We will begin bombing in five minutes." "Read my lips. No new taxes." "That all depends on what the word is, is." "They misunderestimated me." Considering the flubs that have happened since Neil Armostrong's lack of an "a," I think we should cut the guy a little slack.

By: gohlkus

gohlkus — Sat, 01 Nov 2003 02:01:33 -0800

Speaking of pedantry, surely you mean: "It depends on what your definition of the word 'is' is."