Crikey

November 2, 2003 6:58 PM

Has Rumsfield Lost His Mojo?Time was first to break the story, but now the world is listening. Can it be? Has Rumsfield truly, really, devastatingly lost his mojo? And is he just pretending to not know what it means?
posted by _sirmissalot_ (29 comments total)

Everybody in America seems to have heard the word mojo, but darned few white folks know what it means...

So what is a mojo? It is, in short, the staple amulet of African-American hoodoo practice, a flannel bag containing one or more magical items. The word is thought by some to be a corruption of the English word "magic" but it more likely is related to the West African word "mojuba," meaning a prayer of praise and homage. It is a "prayer in a bag" -- a spell you can carry.

Catherine Yronwode knows her mojo.
posted by y2karl at 7:17 PM on November 2, 2003

After getting into town an hour ago and takin' a look around to see which way the wind blow -- I've come to conclusion that not only does he still have his mojo, but that it is actually rising.
posted by cedar at 7:22 PM on November 2, 2003

Pray for Mojo.
posted by Pharkas at 7:27 PM on November 2, 2003

DON4|D RU/\/\5F3|D ... 1F J00 3V3R \/\/4N+ +O 533 J00R /\/\OJO 4G41N, |34V3 $87,000,000,000 1N UN/\/\4RK3D B1||5 1N 4 P|41N BRO\/\/N 3NV3|OP3 1N +#3 /\/\3N'5 ROO/\/\, +#1RD 5+4|| ON +#3 R1G#+, UND3R +#3 +O1|3+, 4+ +#3 GROUND F|OOR OF +#3 41R & 5P4C3 /\/\U53U/\/\ 1N \/\/45#1NG+ON DC, B3FOR3 /\/\1DN1G#+ ON NOV3/\/\B3R 15+# , 2003. \/\/3 \/\/1|| NO+ CON+4C+ J00 4G41N.
posted by crunchland at 7:27 PM on November 2, 2003

what crunchland said : >
and if he lost his mojo, that's all to the good--his mojo working has meant lots of lost American and Iraqi lives, and Iraq is a mess--maybe without it, things will get better.
posted by amberglow at 7:45 PM on November 2, 2003

Oh, sure. HIS mojo is worth $87,000,000,000.
posted by iconomy at 7:46 PM on November 2, 2003

can don Johnson smuggle 87 billion$ on his person?
posted by clavdivs at 8:14 PM on November 2, 2003

I'm with Rumsfeld on this one - I just now learned what "mojo" meant. From a story at "The Times of India," no less. I must be a little behind the curve when it comes to pop-culture...
posted by mragreeable at 8:19 PM on November 2, 2003

clavdivs,

I reckon he'll need Ricardo Tubbs help
posted by matteo at 8:26 PM on November 2, 2003

Déjà Mojo?
posted by dgaicun at 8:33 PM on November 2, 2003

He's not charming. He has the magnetism of Frankenstein's monster. How the hell could Donald Rumsfeld have ever had anything remotely resembling mojo? How can he have lost something he never had in the first place? No really. I wanna know.

I mean come on. Mojo Jojo has more mojo than Donald Rumsfeld, and Mojo Jojo's a toon.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:34 PM on November 2, 2003

Oh great, i've woken up in bizarro world, again. The story gets a 2, entertaining yet completely retarded.
posted by phylum sinter at 9:02 PM on November 2, 2003

Oh, sure. HIS mojo is worth $87,000,000,000.

It's that same mojo, iconomy - since you didn't come for it, crunchland's just trying to unload it on another sucker. Or else he just enjoys hanging out in the third stall on the right, I dunno.
posted by soyjoy at 9:51 PM on November 2, 2003

In first grade (I kid you not -- and this was in white-bread barely not-rural Utah), we were given a book called "The Mojo Hand" from which I drew my mojo education.

Come to think of it, a lot of the books I read in grade school were about magic. Hmm. J.K. Rowling wasn't the first one to catch on.
posted by weston at 10:46 PM on November 2, 2003

crikey. who are these aliens, and where do they come from. i stand agog at the thought that 60 years after rock began to popularize blues, not a single defense department staffer with access to rummy could, or would, get rummy's mojo workin'.
posted by quonsar at 11:13 PM on November 2, 2003

Zachsmind: Apparently these ladies find Rumself to be quite charming. I think the "mojo" that Time is referring to is more of a press inside joke. Rummy's really good at slipping past questions and generally has this slickness (which reporters hate) but allows him to get his talking points in with the press without seeming like a prick. Interestingly enough, former colleagues say he's actually more easygoing than Dick Cheney (High praise indeed.) As a sidenote, I'm rather surprised our Sec Def hasn't seen Austin Powers 2 - after all, we're gonna be defenseless against the terrorists if Dr. Evil ever joins their ranks.
posted by Happydaz at 11:45 PM on November 2, 2003

When I think of Donald Rumsfeld, my first thoughts are closer to mofo than mojo
posted by ElvisJesus at 2:59 AM on November 3, 2003

Muddy Waters taught me more than you've ever forgotten. Or something like that.

Also, fuck Donald Rumsfeld. Fuck him ungently in the pooper with a big black rubber clown dick.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:17 AM on November 3, 2003

This Rumsfeld, he evolved?
posted by srboisvert at 3:49 AM on November 3, 2003

Going having a prayer in a bag to having no prayer in a bag from is not an unapt description of the Secretary's loss of teflon blusterability.
posted by y2karl at 4:20 AM on November 3, 2003

Zachsmind: Apparently these ladies find Rumself to be quite charming.

...Believe me it is NOT odd for a 20-year-old to fancy a 70-year -old.

Note to self: After breakfast, do dishes, then invade Iraq--Deal with what to do after moving in later--shout down reporters, get laid, e-mail Postroad.
posted by y2karl at 4:53 AM on November 3, 2003

It's bewildering to realize a former Navy fighter jock is so manifestly uncool as to fail to grasp the significance of "mojo" in context. Glad I never served under this no-load. Oh, to think of the things we'd've said about him behind his back...
posted by alumshubby at 5:25 AM on November 3, 2003

At the very worst, Rummy can steal some more.
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:30 AM on November 3, 2003

Maybe he lost this month's copy of Mojo?
posted by RubberHen at 6:41 AM on November 3, 2003

Rummy's mojo is on my mantelpiece next to dg's. Please keep this between ourselves, at least until crunchland gets his $87,000,000,000.
posted by languagehat at 8:14 AM on November 3, 2003

Here' a stomach turning article from the National Review, in which it is asserted that, far from losing his mojo, "Rumstud" is a new American sex symbol.
posted by pejamo at 9:28 AM on November 3, 2003

From Daily Kos on the subject that I think sums it up neatly:

Time Magazine asked this week if Rumsfeld is losing his mojo. It's a revealing question coming from the mainstream press. Mojo is often misunderstood to mean libido, or more accurately to mean luck. But it also describes a small sack containing magic items that enable its carrier to conjure up spells. Any clear-eyed skeptic could see that Rumsfeld and the PNAC/neo-con ideologues were deceiving Americans, and probably themselves about the ease with which we would manage the occupation of Iraq. Now that we've had the single second worst day of American casualties since the war began, its becoming clearer to the American press and the American public that they were deceived. But Time's use of the term mojo is an implicit attempt to exonerate the press and the majority of Americans by suggesting they fell for the deception because Rumsfeld had some kind of powerful mojo, and now that opinion is turning against the war it must be because Rumsfeld is losing his mojo. But Donald Rumsfeld didn't have any mojo. He simply lied, and enough people fell for it that now we're in this mess.

Press officially absolving themselves of complicity. That is all.
posted by nofundy at 9:44 AM on November 3, 2003

I'm pretty convinced that Rummy will be a fall guy in the leadup to the 2004 election. He seems on the outs with the inside loop of idiots, and having a sacrifice over the abysmal failure of the Bush Doctrine in Iraq would put a face of 'change' on the renewal campaign. Retirement, firing or 'suicide'? Taking all bets.
posted by holycola at 11:07 AM on November 3, 2003

Rumix the cat. The wunnerful wunnerful cat. Whenever he gets in a fix, he reaches into his bag o tricks..

So by "bag o mojo" does the press mean to infer Rumsfeld has been tricking them all this time with some kinda magic show? He gets in front of them and pulls rabbits outta hats and cuts ladies in half?

I think the press has only been fooling themselves. In droves. Sometimes you get the mojo. Sometimes the mojo gets you.
posted by ZachsMind at 3:13 PM on November 3, 2003