Join 3,564 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


@#!?# - Wash your mouth out, young man!
November 4, 2003 11:46 AM   Subscribe

Oops Paste - The Soap-in-the-Mouth alternative
posted by Orange Goblin (54 comments total)

 
What is in the tube, paste, soap...??? Only find, yuck. Think the potty-mouth jar works better since there is a reward. Felt the bar of soap was not an equal punishment since it will make you sick.
posted by thomcatspike at 11:55 AM on November 4, 2003


Yeah, they do a pretty horrible job of explaining what the product is at all, just a 4-page screed on how horrible it is to swear.

And all the testimonials except one are from people in Utah. Just sayin', is all.
posted by starvingartist at 12:02 PM on November 4, 2003


While walking down the hall at my sons Jr. High School I was amazed at how openly the use of fowl language had become...

Fowl language? Apparently this stuff only works on kids who cluck.
posted by debralee at 12:03 PM on November 4, 2003


Oh, who fucking cares?

MY kids will swear like sailors and will probably be happier, more well-adjusted people for it.
posted by jon_kill at 12:13 PM on November 4, 2003


"Teaching tool"...

Why don't they call it what it really is: A tool to torture and coerce children into following rules.

I can vaguely see what is wrong with profanity but torturing kids to stop them from swearing? They should also sell a belt teaching tool to help curb late night bedwetting.
posted by cmicali at 12:13 PM on November 4, 2003


Also what will this do to kids teeth brushing habits?
posted by cmicali at 12:14 PM on November 4, 2003


"We know that the brain controls what words are spoken, but when our children or we allow profanity to find a place on our vocabularies."

Apparently the brain doesn't control what words are written.
posted by jon_kill at 12:15 PM on November 4, 2003


The testimonials kill me:

Oops is some of the nastiest tasting stuff my wife and I have ever tasted...

I'm hoping they simply tasted it to find out what they are doing to their children. You'd have to be some kind of psychotic self-loather to control your language this way as an adult.

I even know some people my age that could use the help in cleaning up their mouth (and brushing up their language).

Yeah, good luck with that. I'd love to see how long your friendships last after you try to pull this crap.

What a clever idea, and I'm not just saying that because it's my daughter's. Uh-huh, sure you aren't. I love seeing the reaction from my grandchildren when they are not speaking nice words and their parents say, 'Oops!' That's all it takes for the sour look to appear on their little faces and I watch their behavior straighten in an instant. What a wonderful, positive teaching tool. No anger, no frustration, just one simple word is all that needs to be said. Oops!

How do you know there's no anger or frustration? How do you know they're simply not voicing their anger or frustration for fear of more disgusting paste shoveled into their mouths? What ever happened to teaching? Jesus fucking christ!
posted by starvingartist at 12:26 PM on November 4, 2003


Oh, and as for teenagers, if my mom had ever tried to use this stuff on me as a teen, I'd have been out the door so fast...
posted by starvingartist at 12:28 PM on November 4, 2003


My mom used Palmolive on me once. She didn't think about the fact that it's chemicals, not soap; I was gagging for the rest of the day.
posted by me3dia at 12:31 PM on November 4, 2003


I had my mouth washed out with soap by a principal in about fourth grade. I asked the girl next to me what color her underwear was, and she told on me. Nowadays when I use that line I get a drink in the eyes, which stings something fierce. Maybe Oops Paste could be marketed to single girls.
posted by vito90 at 12:32 PM on November 4, 2003


Can any Christian MeFites go out on a limb and explain the why particular words can be bad (Evil)? Is there some genuine theological argument for it?
posted by badstone at 12:35 PM on November 4, 2003


All of their testimonials (save one) are from people in two different UT towns.
posted by rudyfink at 12:37 PM on November 4, 2003


My mom used Palmolive on me once.

God, you're lucky. Mine used it on me weekly. Just a hint for any kids reading: don't try to rinse it with hot water, it only makes it worse.
posted by rocketman at 12:45 PM on November 4, 2003


Electrodes in the ass are more effective .... from what I've heard
posted by ElvisJesus at 12:45 PM on November 4, 2003


But, you know, I kind of agree with the author of the page. I think that, generally speaking, profanity makes people less articulate.

The people I've known who swear the most have usually been the least interesting.
posted by rocketman at 12:47 PM on November 4, 2003


Its always puzzled me as to why some words are "bad". Surely its all a matter of choice? "Socks" could be pretty offensive, if you decided it was. But then, I'm a bad-mouthed good for nothing teen, so I would think that ;). However, as others have said, I can't help wondering just what is in this stuff...
posted by Orange Goblin at 12:47 PM on November 4, 2003


My mom used Palmolive on me once.

I gotta mouthful of bar soap once. It was either Ivory or Irish Spring. A nasty experience, but it sure didn't stop me cursing.
posted by jonmc at 12:48 PM on November 4, 2003


mormons. nuff said.

Even if all the testimonials didn't come from Utah - any ex-mormon (such as myself) could sniff them out from the 'Uses' page.
posted by Tryptophan-5ht at 12:49 PM on November 4, 2003


My brothers and I just got hit. I always thought washing mouths out with soap was just something they did on TV, not in real life.
posted by amberglow at 12:59 PM on November 4, 2003


"No one needs to swear, it only cheapens him or her and makes him or her look weak. Men and woman of power have no need for foul language, it only makes them look small in the eyes of other people."

That's fucking bullshit.
posted by sharpener at 1:00 PM on November 4, 2003


Oh, fuuuuuudddgggeee!

Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference is Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant after dinner flavor - heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness......... Lifebouy, on the other hand.... slyeccch!
posted by jpoulos at 1:04 PM on November 4, 2003


One time in elementary school, my brother and a friend of ours were walking home from the bus stop. I had recently learned the word "fuck", and although I wasn't quite sure what it meant, I had a pretty good grasp of its usage. So all of a sudden I started singing "Happy birthday, fuck you! Happy birthday, fuck you!" at the top of my lungs. My two companions, who were younger and impressionable, sang along. Unfortunately it was springtime and my mom had the windows open. She heard us all the way down the block, and when we got home she was standing in the doorway fuming.

We didn't get our mouths washed out. All we got was the "I'm so disappointed in you" speech, which was enough to reduce us to tears and promise never to do it again. I think that was the appropriate response for my mom.


Another short swearing story, regarding Mormons: I dated a girl in college who had converted to Mormonism and was trying very hard to be a good one. She hated hearing swearing from other people, including me, and she never swore herself... except in bed. Then she swore like a sailor :-) Yeah, she wasn't a very good Mormon.
posted by starvingartist at 1:13 PM on November 4, 2003


Its always puzzled me as to why some words are "bad".

The linguistic term is "taboo." (really.) I'm pretty certain that every language has them. It's just a human ideosyncracy. The neatest thing is that they can be vastly different from culture to culture. Most English taboos relate to sex or the bathroom, but that's not necessarily the case in other languages.

As for the post, anyone who puts unpleasant gunk in a child's mouth to enforce rules is just a fascist. If you can't be bothered to explain why some words are to be avoided and you can't be respected enough to get general compliance, it's time to put your kids up for adoption. The grandma laughing about her grandkids' fear is especially loathesome.

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the ooze of correction shall drive it far from them."
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:16 PM on November 4, 2003


Can any Christian MeFites go out on a limb and explain the why particular words can be bad (Evil)? Is there some genuine theological argument for it?

His Name, not in vein, only one I know. Add my preacher would cuss like a sailor while on the pulpit but stopped it as he grew humbler.

My employer is where I've had the "cuss-word" police.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:20 PM on November 4, 2003


Tryptophan-5ht, I'm right there with you.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 1:29 PM on November 4, 2003


Bet they're into burning books too.
posted by Trik at 1:39 PM on November 4, 2003


Metafilter:

posted by PrinceValium at 1:47 PM on November 4, 2003


"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear." - Mark Twain

I'm with Twain on this one...
posted by Argyle at 1:52 PM on November 4, 2003


Getting my mouth washed out with homemade lye soap worked on me. Twenty years later, and I still never swear when my mother can hear. Back then, "dang it" counted as swearing, so twenty years later, I hardly say much of anything when my mother can hear.
posted by ewagoner at 1:55 PM on November 4, 2003


How do you know there's no anger or frustration?

Because you don't feel angry or frustrated. Duh!
posted by kindall at 2:38 PM on November 4, 2003


take of from me guy, this shit is fuckin' nasty!
posted by mcsweetie at 2:48 PM on November 4, 2003


Does it say anywhere on the site exactly what it is? I mean, it's foul-tasting paste, but like, made of what? What does it taste like?

Anyway, they're totally contradicting themselves here; they start out saying foul language only makes the user look weak and impotent, and then they market a tool to punish kids who dare cross into the taboo words. This will only instill in kids that that sort of language is powerful & provocative.

If they really want the kids to feel like it's just poor articulation, they would just ask the kids to clarify their thoughts when they spoke lazily. But really, it's a pretty lame argument; how is "this is a fucking mess" less articulate than "this is a real mess"? How is "that's bullshit" less articulate than "that's hooey"? I really don't think it has anything to do with clarity.
posted by mdn at 2:53 PM on November 4, 2003


take of from me guy, this shit is fuckin' nasty!
posted by mcsweetie at 4:48 PM CST on November 4

That's it, just nasty. Nasty: feeling, flavor or can't stopping foaming at the mouth; did your parent(s) buy this stuff?
posted by thomcatspike at 3:00 PM on November 4, 2003


holy shit. this "poem" fucking sucks:

You never know when someone
May catch a dream from you.
You never know when a little word
Or something you may do
May open up the windows
Of a mind that seeks the light.
The way you live may not matter at all
But then again it might.

posted by ronv at 3:06 PM on November 4, 2003


Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!
posted by password at 3:31 PM on November 4, 2003


That's it, just nasty. Nasty: feeling, flavor or can't stopping foaming at the mouth; did your parent(s) buy this stuff?

I found some in a garbage can and, on a dare from another hobo, downed the whole tube. did I mention that shit was super nasty!
posted by mcsweetie at 3:43 PM on November 4, 2003


'Oops!' That's all it takes for the sour look to appear on their little faces and I watch their behavior straighten in an instant.

I find a screeched, "SHUT THE FUCK UP" remarkably effective.

Okay, it's four words instead of one but the look of sheer terror on their little faces seems like a small price to pay for three extra words.
posted by cedar at 3:48 PM on November 4, 2003


Does it say anywhere on the site exactly what it is? I mean, it's foul-tasting paste, but like, made of what? What does it taste like?

Err, no.

Everbody say after me: 'It's a p-a-r-o-d-y'.

Not to be taken (at all) seriously.

Duh!! I'd bet money they sell repackaged Colgate.

Remember, parents: what you pay attention to, you get more of. If that's good grades, long words and a polite disposition, fine: if it's delinquency, cursing and sexual attraction - fine. Remember the golden rule: if you notice it, you'll get more of it.

There: feel better?
posted by dash_slot- at 3:58 PM on November 4, 2003


From the makers of Oops! I crapped my pants.
posted by duckstab at 3:59 PM on November 4, 2003


This site
developed by
Keck Design: aaron_keck@hotmail.com

Quality!
posted by dash_slot- at 4:11 PM on November 4, 2003


meta name="keywords" content="oopspaste, Dental, Teeth, Sundries, Toothpaste, Oops, Bad Language, Speech, Repentance, Religious Tool, Bad Words, Gag gifts, Party Favors, White Elephant, Primary handouts, Bachelor Party, Road rage, Mouthwash, Bright Ideas, New Year Resolution, Word of Wisdom, Discipline, children, Behavior, Swear Words, Family Values, Values, Stocking Stuffer, Teaching Tool, Relationship, Learning Tool, Teaching Tip, Family Help, Raising Children, Marriage Help, church Talk Aid, Primary Help, Tooth Brush, Oops Paste, hygiene, oral hygiene"
posted by modofo at 4:20 PM on November 4, 2003


I dunno. It seems like it could be real--hell, they make Ezekiel bread and pogs printed with scripture. Maybe it's a paste that contains Bitrex™
posted by LimePi at 4:23 PM on November 4, 2003


Everbody say after me: 'It's a p-a-r-o-d-y'.

I'm betting it isn't. The crappy grammar errors, the circular arguments, the poor pacing -- these lack the polish and wry self-consciousness that I'd expect from a parody. Just a couple of cloistered, clueless fuckwits hawking bad parenting in a tube.
posted by cortex at 4:25 PM on November 4, 2003


"I was amazed at how openly the use of fowl language had become. "

what did the chicken say to the turkey?

"Let us recognize profanity and vulgarity for what they are. "

tones created by forcing air through the larynx?
posted by quonsar at 4:48 PM on November 4, 2003


hawking bad parenting in a tube.: Oops!
posted by thomcatspike at 4:56 PM on November 4, 2003


Oops! = Tastes Bad
Oops! I Did It Again! = Bad Taste
posted by ElvisJesus at 5:15 PM on November 4, 2003


"Oops is some of the nastiest tasting stuff my wife and I have ever tasted..."

I'm hoping they simply tasted it to find out what they are doing to their children. You'd have to be some kind of psychotic self-loather to control your language this way as an adult.


Noooooo. They rub it on their genitals to prevent sinfulness, come on. You knew that.
posted by Hildegarde at 5:20 PM on November 4, 2003


I found the reactions in this thread more amusing than the shite (oops, I mean site - can't believe I actually typed that). Admittedly, I thought it was made by some wind-up merchants straight away.
posted by Onanist at 6:18 PM on November 4, 2003


I wondered if it was a parody too, but after looking fairly carefully at the site, I'm leaning towards considering it real.

I also wondered what was in this stuff - if it's just some mom and pop company making it, how do they know it's safe? Wouldn't the FDA have to pass it?

When I have kids I plan to teach them that obscenities should be used as a garnish and not as the main course. I might say things like, "Don't feed me ketchup and tell me it's steak."
posted by orange swan at 6:57 PM on November 4, 2003


Wouldn't the FDA have to pass it?

Straight answer: Not if it contains only GRAS ingredients. ("Generally Recognized as Safe.")

Silly answer: Maybe that's why it tastes so bad -- the FDA has "passed" it.
posted by kindall at 7:19 PM on November 4, 2003


This has been forwarded around Mormon e-mail circles lately. I wish I'd thought of this gag first. :-)
posted by oissubke at 7:34 PM on November 4, 2003


Is it "bad parenting" if it is done more in jest than as a real punishment? Especially if adult members of the family are subject the nasty taste?

"Bad parenting" is not something of which I would ever casually accuse Mormons. They place utmost importance on parenting and their families. Having been closely acquainted with some LDS people, I have a lot of respect for them.
posted by Goofyy at 5:04 AM on November 5, 2003


I, for one, have no beef with Mormons in general. I do have a problem with self-righteous, priggish parents forcing their tight-ass hangups on their kids by threatening them with any sort of physical discomfort.

Is it "bad parenting" if it is done more in jest than as a real punishment?

Depends how far you want to slide along that apologist scale, I guess. "I'm going to make you brush your teeth with this terrible stuff! Ha ha, but it's mostly in jest!"
posted by cortex at 5:30 AM on November 5, 2003


« Older A neato sand "cartoon" (.wmv). It's a video clip ...  |  The BBC introduces... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments