Comments on: Augh! My eyes!!!

Augh! My eyes!!!

gen — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 17:57:51 -0800

Worst Album Covers Ever. It is either "Let me touch him" or "Julie's Sixteenth Birthday." I'll let you decide.

By: _sirmissalot_

_sirmissalot_ — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:04:15 -0800

more like BEST album covers ever!

By: gen

gen — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:06:12 -0800

Thanks to audiolicious for the link.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:08:00 -0800

Thanks, gen. This gave me a much-needed five-minute laugh.

By: mischief

mischief — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:12:33 -0800

A: Oh my goddess, that HAIR!!! B: Which one? A: All of 'em!

By: namespan

namespan — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:26:21 -0800

The Tops Record one is actually pretty cool, but I wonder if I think it's cool for different reasons than the creators. Doesn't matter, though right? That's what deconstruction is all about, right?

By: sharpener

sharpener — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:29:41 -0800

Thanks gen, I needed that. I thought the Country Church was the "best".

By: PrinceValium

PrinceValium — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:31:20 -0800

It's a tossup between the hairy naked men and "Joyce."

By: Johnny Assay

Johnny Assay — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:31:59 -0800

Some of Devastatin' Dave the Turntable Slave's fine work can be found here.

By: Trik

Trik — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:33:31 -0800

They forgot any cover that has / had Yoko Ono on it.

By: MrBaliHai

MrBaliHai — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:37:03 -0800

Credit where credit is due: all of those albums were lifted from Dork's Bizarre Record Covers.

By: Jimbob

Jimbob — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:37:38 -0800

While "Let me touch him" is clearly the winner, this site underestimates the importance of hair metal. Guitarist fights dragons, cool shiny futuristic letters, floating pyramids, Ooh, that's scary.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:39:24 -0800

Orleans is/was gay? Who knew? See, this is the kind of stuff that MTV has killed with the whole 'music video' thing.

By: gen

gen — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:40:34 -0800

MrBaliHai- thanks for the attribution. I had no idea where they came from originally.

By: poopy

poopy — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 18:42:57 -0800

hehe, very cool. i'd vote for tino. he's dreamy

By: orange swan

orange swan — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 19:03:04 -0800

Y'know Wolf Daddy, when I looked at that Orleans cover, I thought to myself, "Wolf Daddy's going to think that one's good, not bad." Then I tried to decide if it was a really bad straight cover or a really good, mischievously gay masquerading as straight cover (notice the untamed body hair). Then I moved on.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 19:11:18 -0800

The 70's was a deranged era, orange swan. Deranged. Dance with me. I want to be YOUR partner.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 19:28:06 -0800

Must have been why I was born then. Can't you see the music is just starting? Night is falling, and I am calling... The Swan and the Wolf step up to each other and begin a flawless waltz......

By: VeGiTo

VeGiTo — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 19:31:44 -0800

an al bum cover

By: dg

dg — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 19:41:38 -0800

*shudder*

By: mkultra

mkultra — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 20:01:43 -0800

Wow, that's so random- I know that guy (who does the blog, not Tino), used to work with him. Those album covers are so excellent...

By: mischief

mischief — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 20:04:48 -0800

"mischievously gay" Umm, mischievously bi, maybe. ;-P

By: Flat Feet Pete

Flat Feet Pete — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 20:34:26 -0800

The bigger versions I got on email let you see that Millie Jackson's E.S.P. stood for extra sexual perception.

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 20:53:27 -0800

Julie's 16th birthday is just unbelievably creepy. Who doesn't think that the man on the cover, the guy with the booze and the lit cigarette (and the weird hat) is actually trying to convince her to cross a state line so that they can get "married"? And then, like, they have to stay in a creepy motel for the night because, I dunno, the car doesn't have headlights and it's getting dark, and then... and then.... Eck.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 21:01:45 -0800

i think you'll find most of those covers at show and tell music. my all time fave would be "Flying Missiles Atomic Bombs and the Second Coming of Jesus Christ" by jimmy swaggart.

By: The God Complex

The God Complex — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 21:24:47 -0800

While the skin colour is different, my outfits are frightfully close to those of Devastatin' Dave, The Turntable Slave. It's links like these that keep me coming back to my binary counting machine for more.

By: Satapher

Satapher — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 21:49:15 -0800

only squares scoff yoko

By: funkbrain

funkbrain — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 22:03:33 -0800

Thanks for the link to show and tell music, quonsar. Those bizarre album covers are infinitely excellent. This one very nearly made me crap my pants.

By: dg

dg — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 22:05:42 -0800

My God, quonsar, it is incredibly hard to pick a winner from that bunch. I think, though, that I would have to go for this one.

By: Guy Smiley

Guy Smiley — Tue, 04 Nov 2003 22:31:57 -0800

Who doesn't enjoy some fine songs of minorities?

By: Item

Item — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 00:59:35 -0800

only squares scoff yoko testify, Satapher! aside from her stunning LPs, I for one am a happy little clam to be a fan of the woman blamed for breaking up those wretched Beatles.

By: fullerine

fullerine — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 01:13:21 -0800

Surely "Let me touch him" is a poster for NAMBLA?

By: fullerine

fullerine — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 01:28:17 -0800

Quite possibly the most aptly named family on earth.

By: johnnyboy

johnnyboy — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 01:33:33 -0800

good call fullerine.

By: MrBaliHai

MrBaliHai — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 07:41:26 -0800

thanks for the attribution. I had no idea where they came from originally. That's quite understandable considering that the guy who runs the 'blog you linked to neglected to give Nick DiFonzo any attribution for those albums covers. Now he's even hawking mugs and t-shirts with those covers on them, again with zero attribution.

By: MrBaliHai

MrBaliHai — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 08:22:54 -0800

Update: once informed of the source of the covers, the proprietor of Stone appears to be quite willing to give proper credit to Dork. All is well once again in the peaceful valley of bad record covers.

By: squirrel

squirrel — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 11:09:00 -0800

Outstanding! My faith in Western culture is creeping back. Thanks, all.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 11:42:11 -0800

Anyone else find this rather, well, exploitive?

By: Sidhedevil

Sidhedevil — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 11:46:51 -0800

How could the amazing "Happiness is Dean Martin" cover not have made this list? Unfortunately, I could only find a tiny jpg of the CD-re-release, so you can't get the full impact. It's the one with Dean leering at a plastic baby doll. Ook!

By: zenpop

zenpop — Wed, 05 Nov 2003 23:36:36 -0800

Fabulous! Thank you...best thing I've seen all the net all day...but 12 Top Hits is brilliant -- the art direction, composition...sweet. The semiotics of Julie's Sixteenth Birthday is another matter entirely, where to begin?

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Thu, 06 Nov 2003 12:20:41 -0800

I believe that when "Julie's Sixteenth Birthday" was released, the age of consent in Louisiana was, in fact, sixteen. Hm.