three guesses what led me to search for this...
November 13, 2003 4:53 PM   Subscribe

106 Cures For The Hiccups
posted by anastasiav (37 comments total)

 
107: Cut off your head
posted by nthdegx at 4:55 PM on November 13, 2003


108: Read quonsar's comments while drinking coffee

So, ana, are you feeling better, and if so, which one worked?
posted by wendell at 5:37 PM on November 13, 2003


take a mouthful of water, look straight up to the ceiling, swallow. Do this three times. hiccups gone.
posted by dabitch at 5:40 PM on November 13, 2003


First guess: Adam Kalsey's hiccup problems?
posted by gramcracker at 5:47 PM on November 13, 2003


Usually hiccup cures are merely a way to pass the time until the hiccups pass away on their own.

Some of these are mighty creative though.
posted by orange swan at 5:53 PM on November 13, 2003


Hold a really, really deep breath for 90 seconds. Every single other hiccup cure is useless old wives' tale. The drinking of the water, the startling, the pinch of something grainy... all are BS. It's the deep breath and the corresponding relaxing stretch to the diaphragm that does it.

"Think of all the bald men you can"
"Have someone ask you 'What color is a white horse?'"

WTF???
posted by majick at 6:00 PM on November 13, 2003


the other day while waiting for checkup I overheard a cheerful nurse in the waitingroom telling a man with the hiccups: "The doctor will see you straight after his next patient, since it's been a week, ten more minutes shouldn't be so hard to get through.."

hiccuping for a week? Thats gotta hurt.
posted by dabitch at 6:03 PM on November 13, 2003


A waitress once had me stick a knife in my mouth sideways while chugging a glass of water to kill a particularly nasty case.

It didn't work.
posted by jonmc at 6:10 PM on November 13, 2003


Jonmc, that waitress was not trying to cure your hiccups, whatever she might have said.
posted by orange swan at 6:16 PM on November 13, 2003


A waitress once had me stick a knife in my mouth sideways while chugging a glass of water to kill a particularly nasty case.

Kinky. Did you get her number?
posted by The God Complex at 6:41 PM on November 13, 2003


It was "in my mouth" as in between my teeth, not like through the cheeks or anything. And when I get hiccups I get 'em real bad. It sounds and feels like I'm being kicked in the chest by a horse.
posted by jonmc at 6:50 PM on November 13, 2003


Yay! Licking a spoonful of peanut butter's on the list! That's my favorite cure for the hiccups. Works for me every time.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:08 PM on November 13, 2003


I should also note that somebody with hiccups who refuses to try anything to get rid of them throws me into a blinding, uncontrollable rage. Someone chewing with their mouth open is still worse, but not by much--not in my books!
posted by The God Complex at 7:14 PM on November 13, 2003


Every single other hiccup cure is useless old wives' tale.

No, your mother is a useless old wive's tale! Because my cure freakin' works!!!

People tend to get possessive about hiccup cures, I know. I think there probably is more than one that works very reliably. BUT I've seen plenty of them fail, and I've NEVER. EVER. EVER. seen this one not work:

* Drink water from the far side of a glass (so you're drinking upside-down).

And I've cajoled many people into doing it. It's worked every damn time. Post from someone saying "I tried it and it didn't work" in 5,4...

If I were doing it just to mess with them, though, I think I'd go for that knife-in-the-mouth variety.
posted by soyjoy at 7:29 PM on November 13, 2003


I tried it and it didn't work.
posted by majick at 8:07 PM on November 13, 2003


A [NSFW] Cure for the Hiccups

Hiccup Lovers, also probably NSFW. Sample: Got Hiccups?
If you have the hiccups and would like to leave us a recording of them, you can do so anonymously by calling....

posted by dhartung at 8:59 PM on November 13, 2003


Swear to God, never fail hiccup cure passed on from my Aunt, the nurse, who used this on her patients: marshmallows. Eat 2 or 3 large marshmallows and your hiccups will be gone. Who knows why it works, but I've never had it fail - except when I don't have any marshmallows on hand.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:05 PM on November 13, 2003


I've had hiccups for more than a week on two seperate occassions. I'm also of the opinion that they go away in their own good time. A teaspoon of sugar worked once for me. The person who suggested it was actually surprised. After these two episodes and other less severe episodes I've discovered two things that work for me: induced vomiting, and several quick gulps of water followed by a quick breath.

Vomiting is a solution endorsed by the medical establishment. Other official remedies, courtesy of emedicine.com, include digital ocular globe pressure, forcible traction on the toungue and the aforementioned drinking-from-the-other-side-of-the-glass.

Oh, and cardioversion.

Prayer worked for some poor bastard who'd had them for 16 years. Apparently St. Jude is the patron saint of those carrying the cross of hiccups. The record is six decades. He must have been an atheist.

I laughed many times reading the article and I had hiccups when I read it originally.

Background: Brief episodes of hiccups, which often induce annoyance in patients and merriment in observers

But the wisest statement in the article is certainly this:Emergency Department Care: Generations of physicians have yet to discover a definitive cure for hiccups. A statement from the Mayo Clinic expressed the situation perfectly in 1932, "The amount of knowledge on any subject such as this can be considered as being in inverse proportion to the number of different treatments suggested and tried for it."
posted by stuart_s at 9:10 PM on November 13, 2003


soyjoy beat me to it. Bend over and drink from the far side of the glass (you usually have to drain the whole glass of water). In my experience, however, it doesn't work all the time, more like 90-95% of the time. The hiccupper will thank you for it...after the initial suspicion about the "now bend over" part, that is.
posted by Devils Slide at 9:28 PM on November 13, 2003


"Have someone ask you 'What color is a white horse?'"
WTF???


The question shouldn't be about the color, it should be: "When was the last time you saw a white horse?"

That's what the trick to use in our family is as it gets our minds off of the hiccups and onto something stupid, trivial, and frustrating. Works like a charm.
posted by keli at 9:41 PM on November 13, 2003


Usually hiccup cures are merely a way to pass the time until the hiccups pass away on their own

A good friend of mine claims an eldery relative of his had open-heart surgery, which involves cracking the sternum and opening the chest wide, and afterward, had to figure out a 100% sure-fire, no-bullshit way to stop hiccups. The repetitive jerking of the chest could have ruptured delicate wounds not yet healed. He claims that the sure-fire cure was: plug ears, hold breath, drink glass of water.

In other news, if you ever need to pass some time with someone, give them this riddle. Let them ask only yes/no questions until they solve it.

"A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender yanks a shotgun out from underneath the bar and points it at the man's face. The man thanks him and leaves."

Answer is obvious now, but it's a good time killer.

An even better one:

"A man walks into a restaurant and orders a bowl of albatross soup. The waitress brings it. After eating it, he kills himself."
posted by scarabic at 11:23 PM on November 13, 2003


Scarabic, I've heard the same riddle, but with some kind of penguin dish substituted for albatross soup. I think I see where that one's going, anyway. I've never tried it on someone with hiccups, but it's a fun ice breaker.

The hiccup cure that always works for me and for anyone else I see in need is distraction.
posted by emelenjr at 11:42 PM on November 13, 2003


The cure dabitch said is essentially what my partner uses, with the addition that he holds his left hand, palm outward, in the small of his back. This trick usually works.

I always thought hiccups were a spasm of the esophagus, not the diaphragm. I get them from eating peanutbutter sandwiches too fast with no drink. My partner just gets them and they get rather severe.
posted by Goofyy at 11:55 PM on November 13, 2003


fun facts to know and yell

hiccups can become a serious medical, social and hygienic concern if they happen to occur during a bout of diarrhea.
posted by quonsar at 12:05 AM on November 14, 2003


We are a group comprised of men and women, straight, gay and bisexuals, old and young who found each another because of one commonality.. the hiccups! We have all had this one basic thought.. "I am the only person in the world that is turned on by hiccups!" Yet through the anonymity of the internet, we have found our way to one another.

Are you kidding? If this is a joke, which I think it is, then props to you. You got me.

If not, then... wtf? I'm sorry, but I understand that there are other people in the world besides me, and people have different beleifs and cultures than me.... but that's fucking weird. Hiccups are attractive? Get mental help...
posted by tomorama at 12:16 AM on November 14, 2003


remind me not to show you the pedal pumping site. or the big hairy truckers feet site. and i suppose "Dirty workboots, sittin' all lonely on the front porch, Fresh off the big, stinkin' dawgs of the bubba that wore 'em" is out of the question.
posted by quonsar at 1:07 AM on November 14, 2003


Take a sip of water stretching your neck and leaning your head to the right as far as possible.

Repeat, leaning to the left.
posted by RavinDave at 1:32 AM on November 14, 2003


fun facts to know and yell

Glad to know I'm not the only random yeller amongst us.
posted by The God Complex at 2:49 AM on November 14, 2003


The albatross puzzle is *not* better than the hiccups puzzle because it relies in too much unstated info, whereas the hiccups puzzle relies on none, besides the answer.
posted by nthdegx at 4:07 AM on November 14, 2003


Devils Slide got it more or less right.

Potentially cruel and problematic, but also very effective one (only appliccable to a SO):

With your most troubled face on, ignore his/her hiccups, have him/her sit down and tell him/her you're having an affair with someone else.
posted by magullo at 6:38 AM on November 14, 2003


This one does work (if you've planned ahead):

(1) Take a small jar of marischino (sp?) cherries
(2) Drain fluid, leaving cherries in jar
(3) Fill with moonshine (i'm sure grain alcohol will suffice as well)
(4) Let soak indefinitely, allowing alcohol to marinate

When someone has hiccups, offer one to them (probably helps if they don't realize what their getting beforehand). Tell them to munch them up and swallow quickly.

The pure alcohol takes their breath away, scaring the hell out of the hiccups. Works like a charm.....
posted by Pressed Rat at 6:56 AM on November 14, 2003


Repeat, leaning to the left

Can I just read MetaFilter instead?

For chronic hiccups try a macrobiotic diet; make the body more alkaline.
posted by Feisty at 7:16 AM on November 14, 2003


Stick your thumbs in your ears, smush your nostrils closed with your index fingers, and use the remaining 3 digits to drink from a glass of water. Looks weird but works for me every time.
posted by bhorling at 7:28 AM on November 14, 2003


I'm famous in these parts for having one hiccup (actually, isn't it hiccough?) followed by no more hiccups.

I am the cure.
posted by RustyBrooks at 7:35 AM on November 14, 2003


wendell, thanks for asking!

After six tries (I got the hiccups in the car on my way to give a lecture, about an hour before I was scheduled to start speaking), the winner was "Pinch the back of your shoulder until it hurts".

(The spoonful of sugar thing didn't work, BTW)
posted by anastasiav at 11:04 AM on November 14, 2003


Also, I suck at puzzled. What are the solutions to the bar/shotgun and albatross puzzles posted above, please?
posted by anastasiav at 11:09 AM on November 14, 2003


Bar/shotgun puzzle: The guy had the hiccups. The bartender scared them out of him by pointing the shotgun at him.

Albatross puzzle: The guy was a salior shipwrecked on an island. Only a few of his comrades survived the wreck and they had no food. One day one of them made some "albatross soup" and they all ate it. Later, they were rescued. When he ate the albatross soup at the restaurant, he realized that what he'd eaten hadn't been albatross at all and therefore must have been one of his dead comrades.
posted by kindall at 12:17 PM on November 14, 2003


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