Comments on: This is the cardinal sin of urinal etiquette: Never pee beside someone.

This is the cardinal sin of urinal etiquette: Never pee beside someone.

anastasiav — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 22:51:15 -0800

The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette makes me really glad that I'm a girl. I had no idea there were such complex decisions to be made about where to stand and which sink to use.

By: password

password — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 22:58:44 -0800

Don't forget the Urinal Game.

By: reality

reality — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 22:59:08 -0800

double post (sorry)

By: gregb1007

gregb1007 — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 23:00:28 -0800

Well this thing doesn't mention the quite awkward situation you can have when a bathroom has only two urinals and no divider between them. 1. If you choose to stand next to the person already there, you'll feel weird peeing so close to someone. And of course you would have to be very cautious for them not to see any of your parts cause there's no divider. 2. But if you choose to not use the urinal but the stall instead, the other person will think you are scared of using the urinal next to them... and that'll make you feel like you are either a very shy or whimpy person.

By: anastasiav

anastasiav — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 23:05:02 -0800

reality: It is? Link?? (I searched, honest....)

By: spartacusroosevelt

spartacusroosevelt — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 23:16:45 -0800

The thing about these rules is most of them (for most US born males) don't need to be written down. We follow them instinctively.

By: gregb1007

gregb1007 — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 23:25:21 -0800

spartacus, your emphasis on US born males is interesting. I actually would like to know whether people from other countries have a different attitude to the "urinal game" or whether it's a pretty universal thing worldwide.

By: Nothing

Nothing — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 23:25:53 -0800

The process, when analyzed, is complex, but it occurs naturally. Just like you don't think of muscle groups and Newtonian physics to catch a baseball, and instead just reach out and catch it, you don't think of rules when choosing a urinal, you just go up to the right one.

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 00:12:46 -0800

It's simple instinct, all these rules boil down to a good Joe Rogan quote, "I'm not homophobic, I'm just afraid of cock."

By: quonsar

quonsar — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 00:13:37 -0800

it's truly a zen thing. i quiet myself upon arrival, and soon enough the urinal which most needs my piss will make itself known. the universe is a magical, wonderous place.

By: futureproof

futureproof — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 00:25:23 -0800

I follow a strict sense of urinal etiquette as well, however, contrary to this guy's strategy I will never stall or wait to use a urinal. When I gotta piss, I'm going to piss. Yes, sometimes this means I will be standing right next to someone else. Whenever in this situation though, I always stare straight at the wall once the goods are flowing, leaving my bystander in awe. The fact that I'm 6'6" helps too.

By: kavasa

kavasa — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 01:42:17 -0800

Even as a gay man I have an instinctive understanding of urinal etiquette. American men's rooms are solemn, frightening places, ruled by the spectre of rogue penis sightings. However, as some have pointed out, there are exceptions to the general rules. Someone who is physically imposing can pee as he wishes, as his great height and/or muscle mass free him from the mundane fears of his lessers. Additionally, it is becoming more and more acceptable to use a stall without any pretense towards pinching a loaf. Indeed, I foresee any and all stall-peeing related stigma lapsing into obsolescence within five years.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 02:31:55 -0800

huh? Who uses sinks?

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 02:41:00 -0800

delmoi: They're usually closer to the entrance than the urinals, at a more convenient height, and you can admire yourself in the mirror while you do your thing. Sinks are great.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 02:49:29 -0800

Just add a <favorite public enemy of the moment> target in the urinal, turn that so called "problem" into a game and the kid in every man will take over the fear.

By: datadawg

datadawg — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 03:00:45 -0800

gregb: Based on my travels in the orient, these rules are loosely applicable in Japan, and not applicable at all anywhere else. Especially in western mainland China, where just peeing in the bathroom is considered the height of etiquette. However, Futureproof's 'wall stare' technique transcends the boundaries of culture. delmoi: my ex-girlfriend uses sinks (WHAT was I thinking???)

By: magullo

magullo — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 03:35:02 -0800

Based on my travels in the orient, you get bathroom attendants which give you a kidney massage while you pee. The bastards try to catch foreigners off guard: once it's flowing, there's no turning back and explaining that the massage is actually freaking you out. And, yes, the first thing that comes to mind is "wow, big time breach of etiquette: such a large bathroom for only the two of us - thereshouldbenoneedforyounottostandintheoppositecornerthanyouverymuch."

By: thebabelfish

thebabelfish — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 05:44:54 -0800

Even in teenage male locker rooms (normally places very lacking of etiquette) these instinctive rules are followed.

By: kozad

kozad — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 06:46:12 -0800

You know what I do if I need to pee and one of the two urinals is in use? I use the other one! Why is that so strange?

By: andrew cooke

andrew cooke — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 06:49:10 -0800

heh. you should come to chile. when we were working in the client's offices, two blocks away from our own, my chilean co-workers would walk back to our own building to use the bathroom. and where i work now there's a bathroom with one cubicle and urinal - it finally dawned on me that no chilean will use the urinal is someone is in the cubicle, or vice-versa. if you buy a new house it has a bathroom for each bedroom - even in very small flats, where a significant fraction of the available space ends up as bathrooms...

By: obfusciatrist

obfusciatrist — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 06:56:17 -0800

At work last week a co-worker actually gave me a shoulder punch and a "hey" while I was peeing. I see no option but to find a way to get this guy fired. He is dangerously subversive of the proper social order.

By: the fire you left me

the fire you left me — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 07:01:12 -0800

I never knew this sort of thing bothered people. After college, I have become blind.

By: argybarg

argybarg — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 07:03:05 -0800

On a related note, I'd like to point out that I was in my late 20s before I heard from a reliable source that guys (I'm a guy) who go to see movies together are supposed to sit with empty seats between them. I find this ridiculous. I still don't observe this. But I believe it's real. Recently a friend told me that he went to see Velvet Goldmine (think: gay) with another guy. By the end of the movie, his friend was five or six seats away. What is wrong with men, anyway?

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 07:27:34 -0800

guys (I'm a guy) who go to see movies together are supposed to sit with empty seats between them. That's a new one to me. It makes sense in an emptyish theater -- then everyone gets the full set of armrests, and it's not like you need to be next to each other for the smooching. What is wrong with men, anyway? Hey, at least we can go alone.

By: biffa

biffa — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 07:31:35 -0800

When I lived in university halls as a first year undergrad, all the blokes confessed to peeing in the sinks in their rooms at night to avoid having to walk down the corridor to the toilet. However, it was still regarded as a breach of etiquette when, one day, three blokes were sitting around chatting in one of their rooms and the guy whose room it was got up and pissed in the sink in front of them.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 07:49:24 -0800

You've peeked. Don't lie. I've caught you. All of you. Which says more about US men than where they stand to pee, if you ask me.

By: whatzit

whatzit — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 08:12:14 -0800

biffa; it could be worse. some of the guys out here make a point of visiting their friends down the hall to pee in each other's sinks.

By: jalexei

jalexei — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 08:21:13 -0800

There are a few folks here at work who, upon recognizing your footwear in the stall, will happily chat about the issues and workplace goings-on du jour whilst performing their duties at the urinal. Wigs. Me. Out. And I must confess to using the spacious handicapped stall when available. I feel guilty, but the increased seat height makes my visit so much more comfortable.

By: ginz

ginz — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 08:24:28 -0800

Men......dogs? These things are set up every Friday and Saturdaynight in Groningen. Bah.

By: jack_mo

jack_mo — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 09:19:58 -0800

Of course, the rules are largely reversed if you're using the toilet for cottaging rather than the intended purpose. Should you require further advice on this use of public restrooms, try tracking down an archived copy of Lambeth council's popular guide to cottaging, which provided ammunition for those seeking to retain Clause 28 (as discussed in the Lords) Oh, and the BBC felt that the issue of piss etiquette deserved the best part of a series. Good to see my license fee penny being spent. (Sorry)

By: mtstover

mtstover — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 09:35:47 -0800

I have no problem using the adjacent urinal without a divider. But in my new office, the urinals on my floor are about 6 inches too close. You can't really use it without touching shoulders with the guy next to you. I've ended up using the stall, which is strange, too, for all the reasons described.

By: brittney

brittney — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 09:40:10 -0800

I once saw two (straight) guys I knew sitting in a movie theatre with an empty seat between them. After too little deliberation I jumped up, strode down to their row and said in a booming voice: "Awww, did you two guys break up?" I thought it was funny. And so did the five or so peoplw within earshot. My straight, male acquaintances, however, didn't laugh. But they did muster a nearly simultaneous, "Fuck you!"

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 10:07:45 -0800

I think the "talking while at urinals" phenomenon is far less amusing than the "no talking or recognizing the existence of your fellow man while in adjacent stalls" phenomenon. Though, a lot of guys do break this tradition, I've found for the most part that there's an understanding that if you're in a stall, you do not exist, and the sounds that are coming from your stall are simply not there. Unless you're being particularly, um, explosive, in which case some carefully worded, humorous jibbing is occasionally in order.

By: gregb1007

gregb1007 — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 10:32:44 -0800

Well I dont see anything wrong about guys having one seat between them in the movie theater. There's nothing homopobic about it. It just gives each guy room to stretch out his feet without discomforting the other person. And also they can put their coats, backpacks, etc... on the seat in between

By: philfromhavelock

philfromhavelock — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 11:02:52 -0800

>and no divider between them. *Cue memories of Maple Leaf Gardens.*

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 11:26:47 -0800

The urinal etiquette rules have just cause: there was a kid, must have been about eight years old, who chose to stand directly beside me out of a line of about six empties. And then proceeded to spray my pantleg! Ewww.

By: sharpener

sharpener — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 13:55:43 -0800

The restrooms at the old Pacific Coliseum here just have a "pee wall," and I still remember hitting the can between periods at Canucks' games and awaiting my turn at the trough. It's first-come-first-served, and a big guy can leave room for two boys, which makes the system a bit more efficient I guess, even if somewhat awkward. On the other hand, it's not nearly as awkward after a few beers. It ain't a party or anything, but guys are a lot less concerned about etiquette, I can tell you that much.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 15:44:31 -0800

Ever encounter a circular trough? I'm not sure what etiquette those require. Quite possibly giving up and pissing in the corner by the garbage can...

By: xena

xena — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 17:44:13 -0800

Just a week or so ago, I was privy to a conversation where my male co-workers were commenting on the new guy who didn't seem to "know" the rules of the urinal. They then proceeded to impress me with their common knowledge of the more subtle rules of urinal etiquette. Here's the kicker: the violator is the new CIO. Yep, the head honcho. Gentlemen of Mefi: any suggestions for my intrepid co-workers? How do you handle such a transgression of etiquette by someone who's already higher up in the corporate foodchain?

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 18:41:29 -0800

You start writing your resume, because the guy is on a power-trip.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 18:43:09 -0800

(Or "accidently" pee on his pantleg.) (Er, after you have your resume finished, come to think of it.)

By: dg

dg — Mon, 24 Nov 2003 18:55:19 -0800

I don't use urinals as a rule. Not for privacy, but because the water in the bottom of them is so cold.