Worst Albums of All TimeNot another top blah, blah of all blah, blah list...

November 26, 2003 5:55 AM

Thrift store record collectors' treasure trove. I know that we talked about the supposed worst record album covers of all time here, but some of these were too priceless not to share, and some have MP3s of the actual recordings to boot!!!

Here's just a small taste of what to expect:

"...There's no photos or credits anywhere on this album. Just the sickly drawing on the cover and a list of song titles. I bought it for 50 cents on a hunch after noticing the title: "Diary of an Unborn Child". As far as bizarre Christian LPs, I gotta say, this is this most extreme thing I've ever heard. It's some full grown man with a munchkin voice, singing terrifying songs about drug use, abortion and being a fat kid and each fill me with a profound sense of dread, horror, and disgust."
posted by psmealey (20 comments total)

Wierd coincidence. I ordered this off Amazon not 2 days ago.
posted by davehat at 6:06 AM on November 26, 2003

Diary of an Unborn Child was used in the most recent TV Carnage tape.
posted by jon_kill at 6:06 AM on November 26, 2003

um... The Farmer in the Dell is a bit risque. "It's a magic stick! Here, I'll rub you faster!" </mind_in_gutter>
posted by shoepal at 6:26 AM on November 26, 2003

Nice post. Including the Blood Speckled Concourse.
posted by the fire you left me at 6:27 AM on November 26, 2003

Excellent post.
posted by Prospero at 6:30 AM on November 26, 2003

Pat Boone released "Let Me Live: An Anthem Of The Unborn Child" around 1985. It still gets widely circulated among anti-abortionists. I don't know which one was the original, Lil Markie or Pat, but they are very similar. Horrible. Inhumane. Absolutely vomit-inducing.
posted by zaelic at 6:39 AM on November 26, 2003

I love this place. A dusty fingered crate-digger like myself has multi-orgasmic fits hanging around Show And Tell.

Plus the songs I've heard off this record are actually pretty good in a strange way.
posted by jonmc at 6:43 AM on November 26, 2003

great find. thanks psmeasley!

so much for getting any work done today.
posted by whatnot at 6:56 AM on November 26, 2003

this is an awesome site, but I coulda sworn it's been posted before?
posted by mcsweetie at 7:04 AM on November 26, 2003

Damn, mcsweetie, you're right. Sorry for the double post, y'all.
posted by psmealey at 7:09 AM on November 26, 2003

no worries! there should be a statute of limitations on sites this sweet.
posted by mcsweetie at 7:21 AM on November 26, 2003

psmealey - I missed it the first time, so thanks.

"It's some full grown man with a munchkin voice, singing terrifying songs about drug use, abortion and being a fat kid and each fill me with a profound sense of dread, horror, and disgust." - Cool. There are days when I crave this sort of thing, to feel better about myself in comparison. It's better (nicer) than getting the effect from reading about developing world ferry catastrophes or watching Pixote.
posted by troutfishing at 7:51 AM on November 26, 2003

This is as good an argument for double-posting as I have ever seen.

I say we shut up from now on and let Matt decide whether to blast them.
posted by jon_kill at 7:52 AM on November 26, 2003

A week ago, I experienced one of the saddest moments in my life. I found my copy of Silhouette Segments warped in the sun. :(
posted by badstone at 10:09 AM on November 26, 2003

less snazzy layout but some truly wonderful finds w/r/t album covers, also available at the Vinyl Orphanage.
posted by jessamyn at 10:32 AM on November 26, 2003

Speaking of atrocious music...

This post has put me in a frisky mood - maybe I'll put on my 80's LP of "We're the Meatmen and You suck!" and listen to "Mr. Tapeworm" and "Crippled Children Suck" at high volume OVER AND OVER AND OVER !

"Crippled Children Suck

Crippled children suck
It's easy to see
Their parents were dumb
For having V.D.
And conceiving a baby
As ugly as it
I say give it leg braces
that don't even fit
Mom & Dad smoked their dope
For a liberal smooth future
They had a lot of hope
But because of their folly
Their life is prety crass
A little baby boy
With an arm
Stuck out his ass.

Mr. Tapeworm


Crab legs, pate, sweet pork juices
Mr Tapeworm never refuses
Head cheese, Veggies, Pizza Pie
That little guy spits in my eye.

Oh Mr. Tapeworm, he makes me squirm
Nice Mr. Tapeworm'll make my ring burn

Maypo, tofu, screaming zonkers
Daily my dead bowels he conquers
Crawls out of my dirt chute at night
To feast on my fridge's delights

Oh Mr Tapeworm, he makes my squirm
Nice Mr. tapeworm'll make my ring burn."


Obligatory Disclaimer : I apologize in advance to anyone who is offended at the above lyrics. Troutfishing's views on crippled children are actually kind and liberal, yet never patronizing. My friend Chris, who has CP, would listen to this stuff with me back in the 80's but I learned eventually to make him get up and get his own damn beer.
posted by troutfishing at 11:26 AM on November 26, 2003

psmealey, it helps if you read what's on the screen when you post. this URL is an exact match for the previous one. just prior to hitting the post button mefi TOLD YOU IT WAS A DOUBLE.

http://showandtellmusic.com/pages/home.html

also, i posted this in a thread just a few weeks ago.
posted by quonsar at 2:30 PM on November 26, 2003

Thanks, Quonsar. No, really, I mean it: thanks. /sarcasm

Quonsear, I usually like what you post here for your humanism, sensitivity and taste, but this last comment was and unecessarily pedantic and moreover petty, as I apologized for my mistake a few posts up. Guess there's no pleasing some people.
posted by psmealey at 5:53 PM on November 26, 2003

fabulous link. :)
posted by dejah420 at 9:40 PM on November 26, 2003

no matter how many times it gets posted. I mean, the link is still cool. the double post slipped by me...
posted by dejah420 at 9:42 PM on November 26, 2003