Got lesbians?

December 7, 2003 3:28 PM

Got Lesbians? Every once in awhile I think "gee, self. I don't have enough lesbians in my life." Now there's a service just for me: LesbianPhoneCall. To quote their site they "deliver[s] you a phone call from a genuine lesbian!" You get to choose from Choose from a variety of lesbians, from militant bulldyke to on-the-fence lesbian (VERY popular). It even details what each type of lesbian is liable to talk about. Super! (via MonkeyFilter/UncoolCentral)
posted by answergrape (34 comments total)

so
anyone can call and chinwag?
posted by clavdivs at 3:58 PM on December 7, 2003

Why doesn't Metafilter pitch in for a lesbian phone call?
posted by inksyndicate at 4:17 PM on December 7, 2003

You could just call me! We could talk politics, or something. Hehhehee.
posted by Hildegarde at 4:18 PM on December 7, 2003

Got lesbians? My ex is an ex because she decided she was a lesbian. I am still friends with most of her friends who are, you guessed it, lesbians.

Outside of my ex's circle, my best friends are gay and many of their female friends, also my friends, are lesbians.

The only person I still get along with from my last job: lesbian.

Even my best friend, met outside my regular network of friends or career, is turning lesbian before my eyes.

I'm up to my ass in lesbians! The good news is many of them have straight female friends and they love playing matchmakers.
posted by mischief at 4:28 PM on December 7, 2003

I'm up to my ass in lesbians!
posted by clavdivs at 4:30 PM on December 7, 2003

My ex is an ex because she decided she was a lesbian... Even my best friend... is turning lesbian before my eyes.

yer a regular george friggin' costanza!
posted by quonsar at 4:37 PM on December 7, 2003

I hated that show, q. I gave it ten minutes once and never returned.
posted by mischief at 4:42 PM on December 7, 2003

I have heard that these lesbians are not lesbians at all, but a bunch of housewives earning some extra money on the side.
posted by dg at 4:53 PM on December 7, 2003

Metafilter: Up to your ass in lesbians
posted by fletchmuy at 5:23 PM on December 7, 2003

Even my best friend, met outside my regular network of friends or career, is turning lesbian before my eyes.

Right before your eyes? I certainly hope you took pictures.
posted by jonmc at 5:27 PM on December 7, 2003

Apparently not :-(
posted by dg at 5:35 PM on December 7, 2003

Lenny Bruce: "I never met a dyke I couldn't like." Why do guys dig lesbians so much? I post almost every day some pics of lesbians at my site and viewers never ever complain bujt often ask for more...What is the appeal for a guy?
posted by Postroad at 5:37 PM on December 7, 2003

Pfft. You think you've got troubles ... I'm up to my lesbians in ...

What?
posted by WolfDaddy at 5:57 PM on December 7, 2003

Dunno, but straight women are also famously attracted to gay men.
posted by hattifattener at 6:00 PM on December 7, 2003

hattifattener: i was about to say that the titillation factor is probably lower with queen magnets and gay men, but then how would you account for the popularity in yaoi?
posted by pxe2000 at 6:06 PM on December 7, 2003

You know, one of my best friends is a lesbian who gets really turned on by gay male porn. Go figure. Does anybody want her to call you?
posted by turaho at 6:30 PM on December 7, 2003

randy
posted by clavdivs at 6:42 PM on December 7, 2003

What is the appeal for a guy?
I suspect that the appeal for many men and women who are attracted to gays of the opposite sex is that they think they can "cure" them. You know, as in "if only she/he had sex with a REAL MAN/WOMAN just once, she would be cured".
posted by dg at 6:44 PM on December 7, 2003

Okay, I'll take the PC gatekeeper bait.

The notion of this service bugs me because it perpetuates the myth that homosexuals construct their identities around their sexual orientation. A call from a lesbian? That's bound to be full of sexy chat! What a lame stereotype.

I live in San Francisco, so I guess the lesbian-as-novelty aspect is wasted on me. Have a lesbian call me? What for, particularly? Is she going to come over and fix my computer? Is she going to make an appointment with my dentist? Help me with my thesis? Is her sexual orientation per se supposed to be enough to warrant a $10 service? Pathetic.

Also, I would venture that many men who enjoy watching lesbian porn do so because they like seeing sexually arroused women without the complicating distraction of naked men. More power to them.
posted by squirrel at 6:56 PM on December 7, 2003

Actually, if I thought for a second that this service was for real, it would bug me too. Maybe I erred in assuming that it was just a stupid joke on someone's part.

Your point re lesbian porn is a good one, squirrel.
posted by dg at 7:32 PM on December 7, 2003

A little investigating with whois and google reveals the likely perpetrator, a certain resident of Athens, Georgia, with an interest in performance and publicity. Success!
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 7:39 PM on December 7, 2003

OH is short for Georgia? You wacky Americans and your misleading-abbreviation hijinks...

More on hoaxatrator Dan Dreifort.

Having said all that, I shoulda mentioned this in the "Words that are fun to say" thread: Lesbian! C'mon, say it with me, Lesbian lesbian lesbian!
posted by arto at 9:59 PM on December 7, 2003

You know, the business model would probably make money, if it was only looking for short term cash. LPC might have its meme moment, when social networks are jammed with overlapping requests for the latest singing telegram gag. Look who's getting calls from lesbians, har har! A What? A lesbian?! A midget from Samoa?Every time you see a dipshit, you see a customer for these folks.
posted by squirrel at 10:00 PM on December 7, 2003

Hmm... A Phone Call From A Lesbian...

Is Ellen DeGeneres Talk Show Tanking This Fast?

That Ellen Is A True Patriot Thou She Made A Torture Tape To Get All Those Crazy Terrorists At Guantanamo To Spill There Plans...
posted by Dreamghost at 10:56 PM on December 7, 2003

FYI -- there's an Athens in Ohio too.

Love,
Athens, GA.
posted by jennak at 4:56 AM on December 8, 2003

i suggest you run from all fag-hags as quickly as possible.
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:03 AM on December 8, 2003

Dunno, but straight women are also famously attracted to gay men.

That's true, but they're attracted to gay men's look (stereotyped perhaps) of being well groomed and cultured and all that shit. But very few straight women that I've met wanna watch two men have sex with eachother, whereas we men definitely want that, for the exact reasons squirrel mentioned. Basically we don't want some hairy-assed guy spoiling the babes for us. Fairly simple really.
posted by jonmc at 7:09 AM on December 8, 2003

Though I haven't met jonmc in the most literal sense, I *am* one of those women who wanna watch two men have sex with each other. Mmmmmmm, homoerotica, YAY! Er, the point being- there's a lot more of us out here than you might think.
posted by headspace at 8:41 AM on December 8, 2003

But you're a very small minority in my eperience (which is admittedly rather small in this area) whereas almost every man I know digs the girl-on-girl.
posted by jonmc at 8:54 AM on December 8, 2003

Jon: it's a big thing in some circles online. And if you look on sites like Televisionwithoutpity.com, you'll find a lot of women mentioning such things. Ever heard of slash and yaoi? And in parts of East Asia, m/m romance for females is a subgenre. There are entire magazines devoted to BL (boylove) comics, and in Japanese bookstores there's even about a section devoted to such titles.
posted by Charmian at 10:59 AM on December 8, 2003

Having attended different social functions both with a man and a woman on my arm, I can attest that you get more action from women with the man. (the spleen is male, just to be clear).

Theory: flirting is a more enjoyable game when there's an element of impossibility to it. It's the same thing that makes wedding rings irresistible to a certain kind of person.

jonmc, I guess our experience is different; I think there are plenty of hetero women who get off on two guys. "If one is good, ..."
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 11:09 AM on December 8, 2003

Jon: it's a big thing in some circles online. And if you look on sites like Televisionwithoutpity.com, you'll find a lot of women mentioning such things. Ever heard of slash and yaoi?

Sure, I've heard of 'em. But again that's a more or less a fringe thing. The straight guy/lesbian porn thing is positively mainstream at this point.

My theory for this is that your average woman is half a lesbian anyway, and can be talked into some girl action, whereas you're average straight guy would rather die than get cornholed.

Not that there's anything wrong with consenting cornholing, but for most of the hetero male nation., it ain't happening.
posted by jonmc at 11:27 AM on December 8, 2003

Couldn't care less abt the sexual aspects of any of this, but most of the gay men and lesbians I know are more interesting to talk to than most of the straights. Maybe a friend of mine was right when he joked, "All us interesting people will be in Hell."
posted by alumshubby at 12:26 PM on December 8, 2003

But very few straight women that I've met wanna watch two men have sex with eachother,

women in general may be less excited by watching videos of sex, but homoeroticism is hot for most women I know...

Theory: flirting is a more enjoyable game when there's an element of impossibility to it. It's the same thing that makes wedding rings irresistible to a certain kind of person.

yeah, I think you're on to something there. Flirting as a game that doesn't actually entangle emotions and commitments and all the complications of real life is just fun for most people. When it's possible it will lead to something serious, it's more nerve-wracking.
posted by mdn at 1:57 PM on December 8, 2003