Comments on: I'm not drunk officer, just...inconflobulated

I'm not drunk officer, just...inconflobulated

Orange Goblin — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:12:35 -0800

Don't you hate it, when after a night out, you just can't find the lock?

By: DrJohnEvans

DrJohnEvans — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:18:53 -0800

Damn, that's hard on the eyes. I think I need a drink.

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:20:23 -0800

The only way that could be more realistic was if it made you urgently have to pee.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:22:24 -0800

Those nights are just fine. It's the nights when you can't find the house that are a bitch.

By: monju_bosatsu

monju_bosatsu — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:22:47 -0800

One minor nit. As the BAC level goes up, the keyhole gets smaller. I've found that the reverse is true, as when I am snookered, I have a tendancy to look really close to find the keyhole.

By: anathema

anathema — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:25:08 -0800

I had a hell of a time with 2%.

By: anathema

anathema — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:25:53 -0800

correction: .2%

By: gottabefunky

gottabefunky — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:29:37 -0800

Sometimes a key is just a key. But the parallel is just too obvious to let slide. I'm sorry.

By: ElvisJesus

ElvisJesus — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:30:19 -0800

I haddd no fuckin probleghm ... the key wash just a bit slipperyz all ... hey! What thhe fuck you loookin at?

By: birdherder

birdherder — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:36:57 -0800

I'm just glad I don't need to use a trackpad to open my front door.

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:40:50 -0800

Found a foot works great recently, best having your back towards the door while giving the back kick added with follow through. The worst part is putting your door jam together in the morning. hammering is loud with a hangover, . What I did after leaving my keys behind somewhere while out on the town...

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:41:29 -0800

Was there a payoff? I had a hard time with like the fourth level, then did a few more and they all seemed pretty much the same. Maybe it was just the inebriating effect of Flash. But I got tired of waiting for the lock to float in front of my key and abandoned it. It would be nice if the door would finally open and a couch or something comes up to smack you in the face...

By: jazon

jazon — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 14:42:17 -0800

Screw it! I'll just sleep on the porch.

By: carter

carter — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 15:05:39 -0800

That brought back memories; thanks, Orange Goblin and y'all.

By: machaus

machaus — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 15:07:22 -0800

Sometimes a key is just a key. Unless you don't go home that night.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 16:13:48 -0800

The worst is when you go through all the trouble of getting the key in the lock only to realize that you're at the wrong house on the wrong street in the wrong town.

By: DrJohnEvans

DrJohnEvans — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 16:19:04 -0800

No, the worst is when you go through all the trouble of getting into the house, undressing, and getting into bed only to then realize that you're at the wrong house.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 16:22:08 -0800

I'm afraid this just wasn't real enough for me. The key remained bright and shiny, instead of becoming a pulsating silhouette. And the tiny, cascading sparks were nowhere to be seen- -Wait a minute. That was 'shrooms mode in Rise of the Triad.

By: Shane

Shane — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 16:26:13 -0800

It's the nights when you can't find the house that are a bitch. House... bathroom... both about as bad.

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 16:27:29 -0800

Funniest was when I didn't realize I had been let off at the far end of the rather symmetrical apartment building I was living in at the time.

By: wigu

wigu — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 17:17:09 -0800

What would be funny is if you made it through the door at 2% and then stumbled in and died of alcohol poisoning.

By: Hackworth

Hackworth — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 17:20:02 -0800

That happened to me once, it was hilarious!

By: Mars Saxman

Mars Saxman — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 17:23:31 -0800

hah Space Coyote - I came home at 2 AM or so one night and spent a couple of minutes stubbornly jiggling my downstairs neighbor's doorknob before I realized the first digit of the number was a "4" not a "5"...

By: Nelson

Nelson — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 17:24:12 -0800

You know, if it were a car's ignition key the point would be a lot stronger.

By: bluedaniel

bluedaniel — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 18:06:02 -0800

[urrp]

By: moonbird

moonbird — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 18:13:55 -0800

Those wacky Finns made a website about Saturday night! Gee, how did they know? [this is very good]

By: ArsncHeart

ArsncHeart — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 18:15:35 -0800

I usually do the two-handed combo thing where you touch the lock with one hand and use that to help you guide the key to the right place. Heh heh...speaking of a key being just a key...

By: krakedhalo

krakedhalo — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 18:24:29 -0800

Just don't try the "get it all lined up and take a running start at the lock" method. It leaves a bruise. BTW, I think by the time I finally got the .2% key in, by BAC woulda dropped at least a point.

By: Hildago

Hildago — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 19:28:46 -0800

Hahaha! Alcoholism! Hey, ever been so drunk it impairs your motor functions? Me too! It is a social ritual!

By: dg

dg — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 20:15:52 -0800

... the two-handed combo thing ... This works better with two people so that you can each use the other hand to brace against the door jamb so you don't fall over as much. Would probably work well for the key thing as well, I guess.

By: taz

taz — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 22:43:28 -0800

My technique is to just stand still and let the door come to me. Anyway, this thread reminds me of one of my favorite classic jazz songs, the wonderful, wonderful "You've Got the Right Key (but the wrong keyhole)". Real Audio file on this page of the Red Hot Jazz Archive.

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Tue, 09 Dec 2003 04:22:57 -0800

Obviously they've never heard of placing the key against the door handle & near the keyhole, then slowly moving your hand until the key drops into the keyhole. Ahhh. The hours I've wasted with that one.

By: alumshubby

alumshubby — Tue, 09 Dec 2003 05:38:17 -0800

I once lived in a downtown YMCA residence hall and got pretty plastered...walked down the hall to the bathroom to pee, got back, was locked out of my room, called Security...I'd been trying to get into the wrong room. my door was wide open. The security guy, for an off-duty cop, was pretty mellow about the whole thing.

By: paulrockNJ

paulrockNJ — Tue, 09 Dec 2003 07:35:13 -0800

Hahaha! Alcoholism! Hey, ever been so drunk it impairs your motor functions? Me too! It is a social ritual! Hahaha! Sarcasm! Hey, ever been an elitist web nerd? Me too! It is a social ritual!

By: asok

asok — Tue, 09 Dec 2003 07:44:08 -0800

Me too, me too! Alcoholism vs. web nerdery, which has the bigger social impact on society? A fine use of flash, indeed. Nice technique seanyboy, will try that next time!

By: Hildago

Hildago — Tue, 09 Dec 2003 17:18:40 -0800

Hahaha! Sarcasm! Hey, ever been an elitist web nerd? Me too! It is a social ritual! Surely, a direct comparison can be made between the negative aspects of alcoholism on our society and the negative impacts of me making a god damned joke. Alcohol kills thousands every year, whereas I only murder one or two drifters in the same time. I think you need to get your priorities straight.

By: adamgreenfield

adamgreenfield — Wed, 10 Dec 2003 09:57:43 -0800

lmao