That's it, I'm done. Simply can't top this.

December 12, 2003 1:49 PM

Australian news media as well as the AFP have reported that Secretary of State Colin Powell has unofficially appointed James Brown US Secretary of Soul and Foreign Minister of Funk.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (20 comments total)

"Funk up the US Government"? I thought they already had plenty of people in the Administration working on that. But I wouldn't count on that news site for accuracy, since, based on this other headline, they apparently think the President on "West Wing" is for real: "Bartlett Continues to Split Democrats".

Cherry Coke spewed on monitor. Good find, XQ.
posted by wendell at 2:04 PM on December 12, 2003

as much as in enjoy and respect the music of JB, he has shown us that he not the best example of a model citizen. he should count his lucky stars that he can still perform music rather then be in prison. why do we glorify and reward our crime-ridden celebrities when guilty people go to jail because they can't afford a good lawyer?
posted by lsd4all at 2:06 PM on December 12, 2003

Yet again, The Onion is way ahead on this story.
posted by ssmith at 2:07 PM on December 12, 2003

Yeah. I think they'd make a better political statement by Freeing George Clinton! He was just trying to be a uniter by having both white and black get together.

http://www.cafeshops.com/freegeorge
posted by graventy at 2:15 PM on December 12, 2003

YACITWH*

*Yet another criminal in the White House
posted by John Shaft at 2:26 PM on December 12, 2003

Of course, Powell forgot:

Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of Fine arts
Miss Aretha Franklin, the First Lady

Am I missing anybody?
posted by cobra libre at 2:31 PM on December 12, 2003

Poppa's got a brand new bag briefcase!
posted by billsaysthis at 2:41 PM on December 12, 2003

"S.A.Y. W.H.A.T.?!?!?"*
*Still Another Yucky White House Attention-getting Tactic
BLOGSTOP!!!

graventy, right about now somebody in the Tallahassee D.A.'s office is saying: "ooops, wrong Clinton..."

cobra libre, how about Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable, Surgeon General?
posted by wendell at 2:50 PM on December 12, 2003

Somehow, there's an "Undercover Brother" link to this article...there just has to be.

And how about Teddy Pendergrass as the Director of Homeland Sexuality?
posted by davidmsc at 2:52 PM on December 12, 2003

At first, I thought that said "James Baker".

Which, of course, would make perfect sense, since Baker used to play bass in Sun Ra's Arkestra.
posted by kablam at 3:13 PM on December 12, 2003

Hadn't this happened already. I remember the urban legend about JB's (ex) wife claiming diplomatic immunity on a drink driving charge because he was "ambassador of soul"
posted by Duck_Lips at 3:49 PM on December 12, 2003

Could be worse. He could have appointed Richard Perle to a defense policy board. ;)

Look, it's a joke. Obviously. Colin Powell gets the joke, and I'd bet you $5 that James Brown gets the joke too.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 4:21 PM on December 12, 2003

Unfortunately, as a convicted felon, he can't become the funky president.
posted by fuzz at 5:47 PM on December 12, 2003

I think it's great that James Brown was given an honorary title, but don't you think it would have been more appropriate for a black person to have given James this honor?!

(Not you either, Condoleeza.)
posted by insomnia_lj at 6:39 PM on December 12, 2003

Yet again, The Onion is way ahead on this story.

Don't forget when Clinton dropped Da Bomb on Iraq.
posted by jonp72 at 7:45 PM on December 12, 2003

yeah clinton, BOB!

oh, and harry belafonte :D
posted by kliuless at 7:56 PM on December 12, 2003

Just so we're clear on this, you folks do know that Powell was alluding to Parliament's Chocolate City, right?
posted by cobra libre at 8:37 PM on December 12, 2003

like colin powell knows from funk...
posted by quonsar at 9:47 PM on December 12, 2003

God damn republicans....
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 10:01 PM on December 12, 2003

like colin powell knows from funk...

But....but...but he's black!

Right?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:41 AM on December 13, 2003