Well. That's it then.

January 2, 2004 5:25 PM

Attention all Mefites: there is no need for discussion on the 2004 election anymore, as the results have already been revealed. George W. Bush will be re-elected in 2004 in a landslide, says God... According to Pat Robertson... according to Fox News. Well. That's it then.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (40 comments total)

The Political Oddsmakers (98% accuracy), now put him to win at 4:3.
posted by kablam at 5:41 PM on January 2, 2004

In other news, this post is inflammatory, unnecessary, and devoid of content.

NEXT!
posted by BlueTrain at 5:44 PM on January 2, 2004

Yes, kablam, but you have to remember (I think it was discussed here earlier, even) that The Political Oddsmaker constantly updates the odds to fit the news, making the reach of the odds not very risky, plus that percentage rate includes 435 Congressional seats, most of which are devoid of real odds to begin with.

Not that I don't think Bush has the better chance of winning right now, mind you. Just that I trust the Oddsmaker as much as I trust... well... Pat Robertson channeling God.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 5:56 PM on January 2, 2004

Well, if you want to follow Chinese Astrology rather than God .. Bush is a Dog and his opponants are Rats (Dean) and Snakes (Gephardt and Edwards) and IMO the country won't elect a Rat or Snake they are too "politiciany" there are lots of Rats and Snakes in politics. The Dog is a pack animal, your either in the pack or against it from the Dogs perspective. The Monkey (Clark) will give the Dog a run, this is the year of the Monkey. Traditionally the greatest skilled political leaders have been Dragons, there are no Dragons in the running.

Just based on this I'd say Bush has the best chance of winning and Clark will be the strongest runnerup.
posted by stbalbach at 6:06 PM on January 2, 2004

You know, this is a bit of a tangent...but I think this just proves that churches shouldn't be tax exempt organizations. I think if Pat wants to use his billion dollar media empire to promote a candidate, that would be just fine...as long as he paid taxes just like every other citizen.

All churches, everywhere should have to pay taxes.

Ok. Derail over.
posted by dejah420 at 6:07 PM on January 2, 2004

The bigger question is this: why is Pat Robertson still alive?

His continued survival is prima facie proof that there is in fact no god.
posted by aramaic at 6:35 PM on January 2, 2004

Ah, good! No need for fundies to turn out, then.
posted by electro at 6:36 PM on January 2, 2004

We didn't need him to tell us what we already new.
posted by cmacleod at 6:37 PM on January 2, 2004

Should I go ahead and kill myself now and not wait until Bush is re-elected?
posted by fenriq at 6:43 PM on January 2, 2004

All churches, everywhere should have to pay taxes.

OK. Derail over.

The problem with that statement is that if it's really over, no one gets a chance to respond. Not that this post should really be continued.

XQ, what about this made it worthy of an FPP?
posted by namespan at 6:43 PM on January 2, 2004

Guys, untie yourselves outta that knot.

I have purposely not clicked on any stories or links about that-I suspect it may have been taken out of context some, but who knows-but when you all start taking black churches to task for being political, then you can go after Robertson with a clear conscience...(I am not against churches of any persuasion having some political discussion and I don't think black churches are out of line-just sayin'.)

Either he heard from God or he didn't. If he did, it will be obvious in November. If he didn't, I don't think it affects the election, unless believers stay home from the polls thinking it's a slam dunk for Bush. (whether they are for him or not, I add.))

So can we have some posts about kitties now?
posted by konolia at 6:51 PM on January 2, 2004

So, if Bush wins, that means Robertson has a hotline to God?

GAK!

Here's kitties.
posted by rocketpup at 6:56 PM on January 2, 2004

My cat says he'd probably vote for Kucinich and thinks most felines would do the same, though Clark and Dean are a reluctant 2nd and 3rd.
posted by namespan at 7:02 PM on January 2, 2004

I have purposely not clicked on any stories or links about that-I suspect it may have been taken out of context some

I suspect it's within the usual context of Pat Robertson being a complete asshole.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:02 PM on January 2, 2004

TrueRepublican.com makes some predictions.

Electoral Votes:
Republican Total = 251
Too Close To Call = 26
Democrat Total = 261
posted by namespan at 7:05 PM on January 2, 2004

American Daily's year old prediction (Bush 423, Kerry 113)
Jacob Nielsen's Prediction (himself elected as permanent God-Emperor of USAbility)
Zodiac Whiz's Prediction (can't figure out what the hell they're talking about)
Random Usenet Poster's Prediction (Bush drops out of election)
posted by namespan at 7:12 PM on January 2, 2004

And as far as googlefighting goes, it isn't even close. Bush.
posted by namespan at 7:14 PM on January 2, 2004

It was crystal clear that he said it, konolia--not out of context or anything. And this was hysterical:
In a reference to Bush's political adviser, Lynn said, "Maybe Pat got a message from Karl Rove and thought it was from God."

It's a pity that so many people will believe him, but they're not going to be voting for a Dem anyway. And dejah's absolutely right--he should totally be taxed, because he's shilling for the Repubs (which he's been doing for decades)--even Ralph Reed had the sense to leave the christian coalition and come out as a Repub strategist.
posted by amberglow at 7:39 PM on January 2, 2004

oh--stbalbach : > and i'm a dragon--maybe i should run?
posted by amberglow at 7:40 PM on January 2, 2004

he should totally be taxed

He should be in jail for fraud along with all the other supernatural snake-oil salesmen.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:44 PM on January 2, 2004

Ya know, i clearly recall some religious jackass saying something alone lines of 'bob dole will win the election because god loves america' Well as we can see QED god does not love america. So Its kind of up to interpretation if god says shrub will win because he hates america, or he will lose because he hates america.

have a nice day, please drive thru
posted by MrLint at 8:03 PM on January 2, 2004

"God is not a right-wing zealot"
posted by homunculus at 8:06 PM on January 2, 2004

wait...so the secret name of god has been revealed and its...diebold?

"take that, kabbalah!" says pat robertson.
posted by lord_wolf at 8:52 PM on January 2, 2004

Imagine the coup it would be for Robertson to finally be right about something. Diebold has a phone number and address. You don't actually think god may be working through diebold do you? You know, god's little way of getting in touch with his emissaries.

He could actually say that shit and get away with it. Which is so cool, because I always thought he deserved one proof positive thing he said god told him about before he went out. He was really beginning to put the whole question of god into doubt. No more. Bush wins. God wins.

Praise Allah!
posted by crasspastor at 10:02 PM on January 2, 2004

Much as I hate to say it, Bush may win - unless that SpecOps recovery team from Yerkes puts a dart in his shiny red ass and takes him home before the election. In the meantime, send all those banana-flavored pretzels to:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
Attn: Preznit

posted by trondant at 1:07 AM on January 3, 2004

This speaks worse about Fox News' 'journalism' than it does about Robertson's fundysm.

"Crazy preacher says this, headline at Fox News."

Really now.
posted by skallas at 2:11 AM on January 3, 2004

crassp: Praise Allah!

Hehe, he seems to be winning. God won't tell Robertson when 9/11 was about to happen yet Osama and his cohorts are still free and blowing shit up. Muslim insurgents in Iraq are having a field day with our troops and especially our choppers.

If these nuts want to play the 'god' card, then Allah wins hands fucking down.

Reason is sooo 17th century.
posted by skallas at 2:13 AM on January 3, 2004

Muslim insurgents in Iraq...

What the hell are you talking about?
posted by signal at 7:10 AM on January 3, 2004

Either he heard from God or he didn't.

Either he decided to cynically manipulate credulous people for his own political and financial benefit or he didn't.

Either he had an hallucination or he didn't.

Hey, this is fun!
posted by rushmc at 8:29 AM on January 3, 2004

Reading the New Testament, know this is the "church age": no true prophets among us.
posted by thomcatspike at 10:04 AM on January 3, 2004

Muslim insurgents in Iraq are having a field day with our troops and especially our choppers.
It's a war zone, when have we signed a peace treaty?
posted by thomcatspike at 10:05 AM on January 3, 2004

nah, it should have read Iraqi insurgents, i think...it's not a pan-muslim thing going on.
posted by amberglow at 10:07 AM on January 3, 2004

"Crazy preacher says this, headline at Fox News."

And now it's a headline at metafilter. Craziness, it would seem, is contagious.
posted by weston at 10:14 AM on January 3, 2004

Think Fox will broadcast my goals for the rest of my life? As this article sounds like a stated guess/ question, not a factual prediction.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:23 PM on January 3, 2004

Pat Robertson used to be a faith healer a long time ago. When he got cancer, he went to a doctor and had it professionally removed. Rather oxymoronic, isn't it?

It's all in the pamphlet here.

Dumb, contra supporting retard with delusions of grandeur.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:57 PM on January 3, 2004

When I said during my presidential bid that I would only bring Christians and Jews into the government, I hit a firestorm. "What do you mean?" the media challenged me. "You're not going to bring atheists into the government? How dare you maintain that those who believe in the Judeo-Christian values are better qualified to govern America than Hindus and Muslims?" My simple answer is, "Yes, they are." - Pat Robertsons New World Order, page 218.



"It is interesting, that termites don't build things, and the great builders of our nation almost to a man have been Christians, because Christians have the desire to build something. He is motivated by love of man and God, so he builds. The people who have come into (our) institutions (today) are primarily termites. They are into destroying institutions that have been built by Christians, whether it is universities, governments, our own traditions, that we have.... The termites are in charge now, and that is not the way it ought to be, and the time has arrived for a godly fumigation." -Pat Robertson, as he was interviewed in New York Magazine, August 18, 1986.



"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." -- Pat Robertson, fundraising letter, 1992 (This one is hard to prove, being that it was in the form of a fund raiser. Quote at your own risk.)


"Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals--the two things seem to go together."-Pat Robertson, The 700 Club, 1/21/93.

All Bolds added by me, because of my bias.
posted by Keyser Soze at 1:13 PM on January 3, 2004

don't forget 9/11: I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way - all of them who have tried to secularize America - I point the finger in their face and say "you helped this happen."
posted by amberglow at 1:18 PM on January 3, 2004

And now it's a headline at metafilter.

Yeah, but we point and giggle, so it's okay.

the great builders of our nation almost to a man have been Christians, because Christians have the desire to build something

Why would they bother? They're just marking time till they can die and troddle off to heaven, no?
posted by rushmc at 5:07 PM on January 3, 2004

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." -- Pat Robertson, fundraising letter, 1992

Now I know where some MeFites get their schtick from. Cool.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:31 PM on January 3, 2004

Not sure whom were pointing at, fox: news agenda that they tell you their way, Pastor Pat Robertson telling his congregation his "divine view" which he can, religious politics or politics mixed within a church.
On the flip side: Presidential candidate, Dean several weeks back asking his party to lay off the "G" issues, God being one of them. Then states: Jesus To Join him on campaign trail. What is wrong with any of these statements, as they pertain to the individual which God allows through free volition? Not a lot, but will lay heavier on Pat Robertson as his congregation is there to learn God's words not Pat's political beliefs/opinions which he is out of line by doing so. As the congregation is made up of individual whom have a right to their own politcal views.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:55 PM on January 4, 2004