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El Niño is coming
January 15, 2004 9:31 AM   Subscribe

El Niño is Spanish. Like all things spanish, it is dangerous.
posted by jmgorman (32 comments total)

 
This kid is brilliant. And you people say that our educators aren't doing a good job.
posted by jmgorman at 9:32 AM on January 15, 2004


I saw this on "the pile". It was highly rated.
I'm crying laughing reading it a second time.
I'm trying to figure out what grade level this is.
posted by jmccorm at 9:40 AM on January 15, 2004


Metafilter kills people and knocks down trees.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:42 AM on January 15, 2004


If this is a joke, it's uncomfortably close to the real thing. You can see this stuff all the time as it emerges from the communal laser printers in the university library. One of my favourites was a philosophy class review of "Being There" which included a sentence that ran something like "Jesus was a very talented person who could walk on water and do other clever things." I should have kept it.
posted by carter at 9:44 AM on January 15, 2004


In this dog-eat-dog workaday world of academics, professors and the like, essay writing is on the decline.
posted by andycoan at 9:53 AM on January 15, 2004


Ahhh...takes me back to my days working as a test scorer. I had piles of post-its of choice quotes from papers very much like this one.
posted by sklero at 9:55 AM on January 15, 2004


"I am El Nino! All other tropical storms must bow before me! For those of you who don't habla espanol, El Nino is spanish for..... THE NINO!"
posted by keswick at 10:00 AM on January 15, 2004


people say that our educators aren't doing a good job.
...then again the guy could be stoned.
posted by thomcatspike at 10:07 AM on January 15, 2004


Al Nino, on the other hand, is upset.
posted by carter at 10:15 AM on January 15, 2004


I believe this kid has a shot at becoming President.
posted by faithnomore at 10:15 AM on January 15, 2004


This whole thing vaguely reminds me of the Star Wars Kid.
posted by azul at 10:17 AM on January 15, 2004


Jeremy clearly has a future in beatnik poetry.
posted by Triplanetary at 10:30 AM on January 15, 2004


"In Peru, they have many names for many things."

Reminds me of an old Steve Martin bit, something about how those French have a different word for everything.

You know, I had a student like this, in Freshman English. I didn't want to suppress his creativity, but, on the other hand, I didn't want him to fail any other English class he might have in the future. He'd write hilarious, creative things, but totally off the topic. I tried to help him rein it in a bit, without squashing his enthusiasm for writing. I wonder what ever happened to that guy.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:40 AM on January 15, 2004


Good god that's awesome. Thanks. Made my day.
posted by xmutex at 10:42 AM on January 15, 2004


This made me laugh. How old is this student?

It eerily reminds me of marking first year University English papers last semester.
posted by synecdoche at 10:54 AM on January 15, 2004


Metafilter: Please a litte less drama.
posted by brownpau at 10:54 AM on January 15, 2004


"little" argh.
posted by brownpau at 10:55 AM on January 15, 2004


Beautiful! Someone get this kid a MeFi account.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:56 AM on January 15, 2004


These things are to the east. Of the water. If we had names for these types of people, it would be "fishermen". But we don't.

Metafilter: This is only one step beyond rambling and babbling.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:59 AM on January 15, 2004


Jeremy Lavine is my new writing god.
posted by furiousthought at 11:30 AM on January 15, 2004


Here in this workaday world of double-posts and newsfilter links, this is a great find. Thanks!
posted by Salmonberry at 11:50 AM on January 15, 2004


Metafilter: Will knock down the tree and knock down your soul.

Yeah, baby.
posted by Salmonberry at 11:52 AM on January 15, 2004


O. Henry!
posted by shoepal at 11:54 AM on January 15, 2004


Okay. "Period 3". This sounds like high school work.
posted by jmccorm at 12:02 PM on January 15, 2004


It reminds me a lot of these essays.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:20 PM on January 15, 2004


carter:
One of my favourites was a philosophy class review of "Being There" which included a sentence that ran something like "Jesus was a very talented person who could walk on water and do other clever things." I should have kept it.


He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool

If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool
(from from Jesus Was Way Cool by King Missile)
posted by CrunchyFrog at 12:28 PM on January 15, 2004


At their own peril!!!!!
posted by Sellersburg/Speed at 12:51 PM on January 15, 2004


How old is this student?

This child is more than a child. It really isn't a child at all. It is a storm.

A deadly storm that kills people and burns down trees.
posted by eddydamascene at 1:07 PM on January 15, 2004


I think it's a fake, myself, but it's funny.
posted by The God Complex at 1:10 PM on January 15, 2004


A deadly storm that kills languages and burns down brains.
posted by SpecialK at 1:11 PM on January 15, 2004


I think it's a fake
Why are the essays not centered? Doesn't seem Jeremy takes pride in his work, so why post it on the net. Notice he ramble on about the god(s) in his essays. What class is this? not English. As the teacher offers no writing skill solutions. Whom smoked out the preacher's kid.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:42 PM on January 15, 2004


hey, that kid plagiarised me! little does he know I am spanish! and like all things spanish...
posted by wantwit at 8:53 PM on January 15, 2004


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