Pizza Party USA

February 4, 2004 11:33 AM

Pizza Party USA. Matthew "Yeti" Baldwin has an excellent initiative for what America the Beautiful can do with our -- our! -- Leap Days, for just $3 an American.
posted by brownpau (26 comments total)

Incredibly effectual petition here.
posted by brownpau at 11:34 AM on February 4, 2004

A nationwide pizza party at an arcade created by the city: genius. I signed it proudly.
posted by mathowie at 11:44 AM on February 4, 2004

Also funny from TMN: IKEA Walkthrough.
posted by blueshammer at 11:45 AM on February 4, 2004

Dude, I’m totally psyched about this plan. I’ve seriously got goosebumps, check it out.

Me too. Make mine mushroom and onion - thin crust.
posted by MsVader at 11:49 AM on February 4, 2004

Mathowie not only signed, he also contributed the best addendum to the proposal thus far: the official Pizza Party USA theme music will consist of The Scorpion's 1983 hit album "Love At First Sting" played in its entirety.

Motion passed!
posted by Shadowkeeper at 11:50 AM on February 4, 2004

Hey. My birthday is February 29, so this pizza party thing would TOTALLY overshadow any attempts I could make at celebrating my birthday -- which I repeat, does not occur too frequently! It's bad enough the freakin' Oscars are happening this year...

DON'T SELECT THE BOX! ALLOW ME MY ONE DAY OF HAPPINESS...
posted by armacy at 11:52 AM on February 4, 2004

My birthday is February 29...

Who let this six year old in here?
posted by machaus at 12:01 PM on February 4, 2004

No shrooms. No anchovies. No Wolfgang Puck. But pineapple is acceptable if among at least four other toppings.

This seemed to crash petitionsonline when I went there...

Strangely, I was considering having another MeFi MeetUp on Leap Day, but it's the night of the Oscars and I want to take my unaccedited journalist ass and do some gatecrashing...

armacy, machaus beat me to it, but what DOES happen when they check your ID?
posted by wendell at 12:10 PM on February 4, 2004

But pineapple is acceptable if among at least four other toppings

No problem:

1) pineapple
2) ham
3) bacon
4) extra cheese
posted by smcniven at 12:27 PM on February 4, 2004

did you know milk is the leading cause of bone disease?
posted by 12345 at 1:00 PM on February 4, 2004

what's the leading cause of non sequiturs?
posted by mathis23 at 1:08 PM on February 4, 2004

This is truly an inspired idea, which we need to bring the disenfranchised (and I don't mean Pizza Hut) back into politics. But it needs a little work.

Everybody gets the day off. No, I mean everybody.

Who's going to make the pizzas?

The only people allowed to work will be the mail carriers charged with delivering the pizzas. . .

Can you imagine what a pizza would look like after going through the mail?

Are the pizzas going to be made at huge federal warehouses a few days before the event, and then mailed? Like I said, needs work. Still, extra points for creative thinking.
posted by LeLiLo at 1:11 PM on February 4, 2004

No, smcniven, that's four other toppings not including pineapple, and extra cheese is a given.
Hint: in addition to ham and bacon, pineapple has also been known (in GoodEatsSpeak) to "play well with" italian sausage, onions and peppers.

Are the pizzas going to be made at huge federal warehouses a few days before the event, and then mailed?
Anybody who'd go for the "Little Caesar's Hot N Ready $5 Pizza" might appreciate them...

what's the leading cause of non sequiturs?
IMO, Wiley Miller.
posted by wendell at 1:18 PM on February 4, 2004

"Who's going to make the pizzas?"

That was my first thought, too, and was getting ready to write a comment panning the whole idea because pizza makers deserve a day off and I don't want no skymie mailman touching my pie. But then, in a sudden burst of inspiration I realized the answer: Canadia can make the pizzas! That special bacon they make only for pizzas will be even fresher!
posted by majick at 1:36 PM on February 4, 2004

Pizza Party USA is an excellent example of the world the way it should work, instead of the way it does.

If we could actually make Pizza Party USA a reality, could an end to war be far behind?

And of course the Pizza-related industries would be thrilled.
posted by BartFargo at 1:38 PM on February 4, 2004

If this happens, forget about red and blue states, and start categorizing states on if they think pineapple should be an acceptable pizza topping.
posted by gyc at 2:07 PM on February 4, 2004

Canadia can make the pizzas!

Yes!!! We can begin building the canadian relocation camps pizza-making training grounds with the $3 donations as well.

Finally, a way to make Canada work for their position of being our shadow. No candian bacon allowed though, it's unamerican.
posted by mathowie at 2:17 PM on February 4, 2004

I say let volunteers make the pizza - while attending keg parties at each pizza-oven location. Pizza-making skills would be an honored form of community service, and fun, too!
posted by lathrop at 2:25 PM on February 4, 2004

Canadia, Candian... I've never seen so many mispellings of "Canada" in one place. *sniff* God bless Amerca.

>did you know milk is the leading cause of bone disease?
I saw at least one petition signer request soy milk, but I'm not sure that's a good solution, due to the threat of BRAIN SHRINKAGE!!!!!!
posted by brownpau at 2:29 PM on February 4, 2004

"Who's going to make the pizzas?"

Typical leftyfilter. Of course the actual pizza making and profits therefrom will be subcontracted by the government to private enterprise -- what kind of americans are you people anyway?

/invests in pizza business
posted by namespan at 3:20 PM on February 4, 2004

I would also like there to be a "Ball Pit" rider on the PPUSA Amendment (because this is so Constitution worthy), because we're gonna need a big ass load of cash for a Ball Pit big enough for most of the nation to fit in.
posted by qDot at 6:04 PM on February 4, 2004

Another inspired piece from Matthew. As far as people on the internet go, that guy makes me laugh more consistently than almost any other.
posted by brittney at 6:30 PM on February 4, 2004

With all the talk of Edwards becoming Kerry's running mate, I think it's about time we considered putting Matthew Baldwin on the ticket.

Either that or faxing the petition straight to Cheney's mid-section.
posted by rosecrans at 7:14 PM on February 4, 2004

This is the best idea ever.
posted by ph00dz at 9:16 PM on February 4, 2004

Typical leftyfilter.

How did you know I was a lefty? (However, for some reason I always batted right-handed.)
posted by LeLiLo at 9:56 AM on February 5, 2004

I can eat pizza ambidexterously.

And can we get candy from Candia?

::imagines fifty million pizza delivery guys hitting the road at the same time, sells stock in car insurance companies::
posted by wendell at 10:20 AM on February 5, 2004