Comments on: Overqualified

Overqualified

majcher — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 12:54:11 -0800

Best cover letters, ever. "Nothing has ever excited me the way that Dictatyping has. Nothing has ever moved me with such force."

By: xmutex

xmutex — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 13:11:18 -0800

My first encounter with Neopost came two years ago, while I was on the Internet looking for alternatives to the traditional postal system, ( which had previously caused the death of my entire family. ) Liquid. Nose. Everywhere. Carnage. Thanks!

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 13:29:57 -0800

This reminds me of the time I sent off a bunch of cover letters with the closing, "I am very interesting in this position." I wasn't suprised I didn't get any job offers, but I was a little disappointed I didn't get any other types of offers.

By: Slagman

Slagman — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 13:42:22 -0800

Classic: "The depression and suicidal fantasies of three years ago are nothing but a memory to me now. I am a man consumed with passion, and your products have given a new meaning to my life. Without you I do not know where I would be, and I do not want to know. I am happy now, pursuing my goal. My dead family and I are in your debt, and I long to help you in any way I can. I feel I could make a real difference at your company." I actually got the best job of my life with a note that was a bit snarky. Little did I know that everyone else who worked there was a smartass too.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 13:43:11 -0800

Joey should at least be able to find work as a chain letter writer.

By: elwoodwiles

elwoodwiles — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 13:46:35 -0800

[this is good]

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 14:01:07 -0800

¡Bravissimo! I usually write at least one crank cover letter every day because it makes the whole 'looking for a job' slog more enjoyable. My irrational fear is that I will send one of them in place of the more traditional letter. OTOH, what have the traditional letters done for me recently?

By: drezdn

drezdn — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 14:13:41 -0800

There was a time in life when I was under the false impression that I'd be able to collect unemployment and when I knew I had a job for sure in another month or two. To fufill the unemployment requirement of looking for work, I was going to fill out sarcastic applications and go into every interview with the belief that it didn't matter what I did. These cover letters remind me of those dreams.

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 14:24:27 -0800

"This womb drops babies!"

By: milnak

milnak — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 14:39:52 -0800

Reminds me of Letters from a Nut

By: soundofsuburbia

soundofsuburbia — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 15:07:32 -0800

Thank you, majcher! Great stuff!

By: BartFargo

BartFargo — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 15:54:20 -0800

The only disappointment to be found here is that these are fictional cover letters. I may keep these in mind the next time I have to go job hunting...

By: stonerose

stonerose — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 17:24:49 -0800

On a similar note, does anyone know where to find that fake(?) college application personal statement that was making the rounds a few years ago, where the writer talks about himself in ridiculous hyperbole? Sorry to be vague - maybe someone else can fill in the mental blank.

By: emyd

emyd — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 18:17:04 -0800

These are great, thanks! Stonerose: It wasn't fake, it was sent to NYU by a guy named Hugh Gallagher. The essay is here, and his pretty decent debut book is on amazon here.

By: stonerose

stonerose — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 18:54:55 -0800

Thanks, emyd! That saves me a too-specific AskMeFi post.

By: SisterHavana

SisterHavana — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 21:25:02 -0800

Hahaha, these are great. Maybe I should send one of these out. I'm surely not getting anywhere with traditional cover letters!

By: Aaorn

Aaorn — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 21:34:55 -0800

Oblivio:

Dear Executive Director: I am responding to your poorly worded and unclear posting on the low-paid-jobs-for-losers-who-decided- to-go-into-social-work-because-they-actually- thought-they-could-make-a-difference website for the position of Peon in your poorly run and under-funded social service agency. I have enclosed my way over-qualified resume for your consideration.

By: snwod

snwod — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 22:34:32 -0800

Run on, love. Run on Thanks majcher. This was great!

By: maggie

maggie — Sat, 07 Feb 2004 19:42:06 -0800

Stonerose: It wasn't fake, it was sent to NYU by a guy named Hugh Gallagher. The essay is here, and his pretty decent debut book is on amazon here. Hey that's the guy who wrote Teeth! That was a very good book.

By: dg

dg — Sun, 08 Feb 2004 14:49:31 -0800

Being in the middle of sorting through over 120 applications for my assistant's replacement, these came as some much-needed relief. Thanks.