Shake It Like a Paranoid Picture

February 18, 2004 9:50 AM

Polaroid warns: Don't shake the pictures! (from FauxFox News, among other sources). Giving me an excuse to link to these classic collections of warnings and disclaimers (Don't forget Happy Fun Ball!), not to mention this collection of intentionally altered Celebrity Polaroids.
posted by wendell (12 comments total)

Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Huh?, liquids can blind by sight?
posted by thomcatspike at 10:36 AM on February 18, 2004

Dude, it's a joke.
posted by reidfleming at 10:53 AM on February 18, 2004

Somebody send thom a Happy Fun Ball (but don't use the regular mails, it is a registered hazardous substance).
posted by wendell at 10:54 AM on February 18, 2004

I thought the hazardous liquid was in the center of golf balls.

The post sounds amusing, but the Fox site doesn't respond. Bunch of lame turkeys.
posted by Goofyy at 11:34 AM on February 18, 2004

on Polaroid's website
posted by wendell at 1:15 PM on February 18, 2004

NOTICE: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Website, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Reemerge, the Existence of This Website in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.
posted by wendell at 1:16 PM on February 18, 2004

But -- but then -- my -- wendell -- my comments! My beautiful, beloved, erudite, pithy comments! What of them?

Please, O physical universe, do not forsake us!

...

Of course, if you do shake your polaroids, they might wind up looking like these. So maybe you'd want to go ahead and follow Mr. 3000's advice after all.
posted by chicobangs at 1:50 PM on February 18, 2004

For celebrity polaroids, there were one helluva lot of people I've never heard of. Must get out from under the rock more often or something.
posted by fenriq at 2:01 PM on February 18, 2004

Mostly if you were under-the-rock for most of the '80s... Michael Dare did them some time ago (I met him and he did one of me and the Ex back when we seemed happy... the only time a picture ever took 20 pounds OFF of me... If the picture had survived, it'd be on my blog.)
posted by wendell at 2:16 PM on February 18, 2004

Those celebrity polaroids are so full of '80s goodness. And porn stars. Nice headband, Hyapatia.

One of my neighbors is in that collection, too. I'm sooo printing that photo and torturing him about it the next time I see him. Good post.
posted by bedhead at 2:17 PM on February 18, 2004

The celebrity polaroids also contain some interesting stories such as the author's time as a minor drug dealer cavorting with the likes of John Belushi.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 4:40 PM on February 18, 2004

In other news of "Hey Ya" factual inaccuracies, the Sugar Council of America strongly urges you not to lend some sugar to your neighbour (even if he is a famous rapper), but to make him buy his own damn sugar. Thank you for your cooperation.
posted by arto at 12:16 AM on February 20, 2004