NASCAR White House

February 25, 2004 1:01 PM

Welcome to "Ask the White House" -- an online interactive forum where you can submit questions to Bush administration officials. Currently taking questions: NASCAR's Michael Waltrip. Pandering doesn't get any more naked than this, does it? (Via TPM)
posted by stupidsexyFlanders (33 comments total)

I don't get it. Why is Michael Waltrip answering questions for white house? Is he a member of the shadow government of some kind?

I am not being facetious, I really, really don't get this at all.
posted by blindcarboncopy at 1:16 PM on February 25, 2004

First of all, it is important to me that I have faith because I talk to God and I talk to Jesus when I’m racing and before I race.

There's your pandering.
This would be #40, in case anyone's counting.
posted by PrinceValium at 1:19 PM on February 25, 2004

There's only one explanation -- The Onion has hijacked the whitehouse.gov address.
posted by milnak at 1:19 PM on February 25, 2004

Seems no one asked him what his actual job is in the Bush administration (does he work for the Department of Driving Really Fast?), or even if he could help solve the mystery of where Dubya was in '72.

(Maybe George W. was hanging with Michael's brother Darrell? Or even his other brother Darrell?)

Nothing neat like that. It's all What's your favorite car? and religion this and Dale Earnhardt that. Which is fine, but I can get that from watching Speedweek.

Oh well, another wasted opportunity to finally crack open the mysteries surrounding the current regime.

I wonder who's up next. Jeff Foxworthy? Hank Williams, Jr., perhaps?
posted by chicobangs at 1:21 PM on February 25, 2004

This would be #40, in case anyone's counting.

I'll call myself out and acknowledge that the Google hits include reporters' questions from the press pool, and people whose first name is Jesus. But still. Get this crap out of dot-gov.
posted by PrinceValium at 1:24 PM on February 25, 2004

It's a reciprocal branding arrangement. I think Waltrip is going to be wearing the Bush2004 logo on his car.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:26 PM on February 25, 2004

I want to see Al Franken on "Ask the White House"

Hell, I'd settle for O'Reilly.
posted by taumeson at 1:29 PM on February 25, 2004

This would be a million times better if they'd just hired Haughey to do an ask.whitehouse.gov for them. (link goes nowhere.)
posted by brownpau at 1:29 PM on February 25, 2004

Are you ready for Four More Years?! </Hank Williams Jr>
posted by jpoulos at 1:30 PM on February 25, 2004

it's a top secret operation. Waltrip is chasing Bin Laden
posted by matteo at 1:30 PM on February 25, 2004

I guess they couldn't afford Rusty Wallace.
posted by jonmc at 1:35 PM on February 25, 2004

First thing I noticed about you Joel is that you do not resemble Peter Frampton at all.

*scroll*
posted by machaus at 1:36 PM on February 25, 2004

matteo, what are you, Bob Novak or Karl Rove or something?

You can't go outing undercover operatives like that! That's -- that's treason!
posted by chicobangs at 1:36 PM on February 25, 2004

I see things haven't gotten any less lame with time.

This is my favorite.
posted by madamjujujive at 1:40 PM on February 25, 2004

Bernd, from Radtke writes:
Good morning,
i am from Germany, sorry my English is bad... Mr. Waltrip: Are you interested at the Motorsport in Europe Formel 1. You have fun to drive in the Formel 1 ??? behind Michael Ralf Schumacher, Pablo Montoya and .... ???

Michael Waltrip
Hello Bernd
Well, probably not.
A) I’m too old.
B) I’m too big.
C) I can’t speak any foreign languages.
So I’ll pass.

Waltrip is clearly a Bushite Neo-Con. His contempt for Old Europe is palpable.
posted by jpoulos at 1:48 PM on February 25, 2004

when I look up and see clouds and Christ’s name on his hood – it takes me to a happy place.

If I could look up and see clouds and still see what was on somebody's hood, I'd be in a happy place also.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 1:50 PM on February 25, 2004

If the facts are at all relevant, this was from before the Prez went to do Daytona, which was a much more direct act of pandering.
posted by smackfu at 1:55 PM on February 25, 2004

Poor America, how easy it is to hoodwink.
posted by the fire you left me at 2:46 PM on February 25, 2004

Oh, wait, voting is for old people.
posted by the fire you left me at 2:52 PM on February 25, 2004

Mr Waltrip,

Thank you for taking the time to answer the burning questions we Americans have about the current administration's policies and vision. It's wonderful to see race car drivers active in White House business.

I have been very concerned about Mr Bush's version of fiscal responsibility where he lowers taxes and raises spending. From your vantage point as the president's race car driver, can you help me understand how this is a responsible way to manage our nations finances. It seems to me that Mr Greenspan's recent announcement that we'll need to reduce social security rather than raise taxes should also be part of the equation here.

Also - Doesn't appearing in this forum make you feel like to complete tool?

Thanks.
posted by y6y6y6 at 3:03 PM on February 25, 2004

Is Waltrip the first non-administration/cabinet person to do that? I noticed at the top it mentions "friends of the White House." How recently was that text amended to include "friends of the White House," if that's not how the text has always read?

[joke about rednecks turning left right]
posted by emelenjr at 3:13 PM on February 25, 2004

[on preview: here you go emelenjr]

Mr. Waltrip:

Do you think your skill of turning left at high speeds will have any effect on an administration hellbent on turning federal policy sharply to the right?
posted by Fezboy! at 3:20 PM on February 25, 2004

How recently was that text amended to include "friends of the White House," if that's not how the text has always read?

They definitely changed it. Compare:

http://web.archive.org/web/20030704024658/http://www.whitehouse.gov/ask/20030627.html

http://www.whitehouse.gov/ask/20030627.html

Same page, except that "and friends" has been added.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 3:34 PM on February 25, 2004

He mentions NASCAR Thunder from EA Sports. Can we just agree NASCAR is not a sport, but rather a large left turn with your foot on the gas.

I think he is trying to go so fast that it will alter time, and actually make George Bush a prophet.

And finally, what is it with these people talking to Jesus? Is it not slightly self riteous to assume that you can personally speak your lord, whichever lord you may subscribe to?
posted by benjh at 4:17 PM on February 25, 2004

Steve, from Dover writes:
Michael You guys are in your cars for a long time. What if you have to hit the bathroom?

Michael Waltrip
I get this question all the time. Well, you hold it. You can’t cross your legs. So you just gotta get really good at holding it.

My favorite. And I would pay for a racing school that taught this skill.
posted by billsaysthis at 6:07 PM on February 25, 2004

this "interactive site" was pointed out to me quite some time ago. since then i have stared at it and stared at it and eventually come to regard it as the ultimate symbol of the bush whitehouse, indeed the ultimate statement of duhbyaness. for stare as i might, i cannot find the interactive part.

there does not appear to be any way to submit a question. everything always appears as a "full transcript". in fact, each session is linked twice in a row, once by date and again by 'full transcript', which gets you the exact same thing. it's kind of like asking dubyuh the question "how do i participate in this forum?" and getting the answer "we have full transcripts."

there is no schedule of upcoming guests, yet each question seems to be directed specifically to that guest. how did they know to ask the question? where did they send the email? "ah! email!", thinks i. sure enough, there is a link to 'email updates' which brings me to a form where i can create an account and choose the type of updates i want to recieve. now we're cookin'! except there's no "interactive forum" update to choose.

someone, please make a fool of me. point out the glaring oversight i've committed. show me how intuitively easy it is to participate in this wonderful interactive forum. because when i saw this post i thought "aha! this is going to be a bloodbath!" but here we are, 25 comments in, and nobody seems to have noticed the lack of interactivity, so i must be crazy.
posted by quonsar at 6:39 PM on February 25, 2004

also a double post.
posted by quonsar at 6:42 PM on February 25, 2004

note to self: read all comments before commenting.
posted by quonsar at 6:44 PM on February 25, 2004

Well, quonsy, if you go here, it tells you to go here, where you can "suggest a participant" to appear on Ask The White House.

Of course, when you get to that page, they tell you that "The Web Team does not answer or forward e-mail". Sweet!

So, I reckon we all fill out this form recommending that you, quonsar the adequate, friend of the White House, answer the next round of magically gathered questions.

I may live on Air Strip One, but at least Tony answers his email. Oh, wait...
posted by armoured-ant at 6:51 PM on February 25, 2004

my bad.
posted by quonsar at 6:57 PM on February 25, 2004

rusty wallace is available for wet work...
just saying.
posted by clavdivs at 9:00 AM on February 26, 2004

Is Waltrip the first non-administration/cabinet person to do that?

Nope. Matt Kenseth also did it on December 2 of this year.
posted by SisterHavana at 1:00 PM on February 26, 2004

Can we just agree NASCAR is not a sport, but rather a large left turn with your foot on the gas.

Benjh, I am with you, but unfortunately our side lost the vote.
posted by terrapin at 2:05 PM on February 26, 2004