The funniest and most disgusting story ever.

March 30, 2004 12:03 AM

The funniest and most disgusting story ever. This personal story on the forums of a bodybuilding website looks like it is on the way to becoming an Internet classic (warning... SFW, but scatological). Snopes doesn't have this one... the nearest we get is this.
posted by BobsterLobster (31 comments total)

I truly wish I hadn't read that.
posted by The God Complex at 12:10 AM on March 30, 2004

When I was in college, the sister of a girl I lived next to in the dorms came to visit and did it with a guy who had the flu.

Midway during doggy-style, he threw up on her back from the sickness. Then she threw up because he'd thrown up on her back. The Snopes story reminds me of that - and makes me question my sources.

The guy in the first story sounds like he's lying because he gets the better of the situation - as it were - by smearing shit all over the girl.

"Dude, I heard you shitted all over Starla last night!"
"No way, bro! She shitted all over herself, dude! I was already gone!"

My guess is that the event happened, but he made up the part where he got away with it.
posted by interrobang at 12:21 AM on March 30, 2004

I was going to say, I'm sure I've read that before on something like snopes.
posted by ed\26h at 12:24 AM on March 30, 2004

" ... she's butt naked"

For the last time ... it's BUCK naked.
posted by RavinDave at 12:33 AM on March 30, 2004

Also, the fact that this could become a classic is exactly what's wrong with the internet! (imminent demise predicted).

All your base [humour] are belong to us.
posted by The God Complex at 12:46 AM on March 30, 2004

I WANT TO BELIEVE - thats so funny.
posted by FidelDonson at 12:56 AM on March 30, 2004

ROFLMALO DUDE!1!11!
posted by Orange Goblin at 1:12 AM on March 30, 2004

I did once see a a drunk snogging couple where he threw up into her mouth and she immediately threw back up on him. Messy.

A bloke I know also admitted to pulling some girl and then, being too drunk to get it up, went down on the girl in question, only to vomit into her pubes.
posted by biffa at 1:13 AM on March 30, 2004

I've heard this exact same story told as " a friend in college" and similar in Holland, Sweden and Denmark. Either these people have a lot of friends over a space of ten fifteen years, or, it's a really old urban myth. My guess is the latter.
posted by dabitch at 1:17 AM on March 30, 2004

Here's the most embarrasing story ever, happened to a musician whom I know well - call him Tony. He went with his g.f. to visit her father in a remote cottage in Cornwall, He'd never met the father, and gf didn't know him so well - he'd left the mother years before.

Anyway: 6 hours driving later, they get there and neighbour comes over and explains that Dad has to stay in town on business that night, but here's a key and neighbour makes a nice fire for the indcapable cityfolk as it's November. Tony and gf go in, and one thing leads to another and Tony is naked, standing warming his arse on the fire while g.f. is on also naked, on her knees, pleasuring Tony orally, with her back to the door.

Can you guess what happens next? Yes! Door opens, in walks Dad! gf doesn't hear over the crackling of the fire and continues. Tony has to extricate himself and stand there, facing Dad. They've been interrupted at exactly the wrong moment, and Tony's nerves are shot - so he begins to ejaculate, standing there nude, facing Dad with gf next to him. And cups his hand to catch fluid, lest it drip on expensive carpet. Dad disappears to bed; not a word is said at breakfast, or ever - but a very frosty weekend, by the accounts of both Tony and gf.

Now that's embarrassing. And, no, I am not Tony!
posted by Pericles at 2:21 AM on March 30, 2004

was a scene in trainspotting wasnt it ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:53 AM on March 30, 2004

This is a really old story -- the bodybuilder part is new. But an old story nonetheless.
posted by birdherder at 3:05 AM on March 30, 2004

Ick. I'm not sure which is worse, the questionable story itself, or the questionable reactions of the meatheaded body builders.

"Right on, dude! You smeared poop on her! Score!"

Ok, that wasn't a quote. This is a quote: "just pretend that you left early in the night, that way she'll think you dont know about her shitting the bed, and you can tap it again"

Tap it again? What is she? A party keg? And nice ethics, homeslice. 6 degrees of seperation aren't enough most of the time.

Sweet Ch'thulu, why aren't you here devouring people willy-nilly yet?
posted by loquacious at 3:34 AM on March 30, 2004

Most disgusting story? Maybe. But it's definitely not the funniest.
posted by orange swan at 4:03 AM on March 30, 2004

"Ick. I'm not sure which is worse, the questionable story itself, or the questionable reactions of the meatheaded body builders."

Ick. I'm not sure which is worse, the questionable story itself, or the questionable reactions of the meatheaded bloggy builders.
posted by DrDoberman at 4:11 AM on March 30, 2004

Same story is posted over at bash.org. Even the spelling errors are the same.
posted by spazzm at 4:33 AM on March 30, 2004

Most. Unnecessary. Post. Ever.
posted by grabbingsand at 4:59 AM on March 30, 2004

This is one of those stories that you hear so often most likely because it happens so often. Heavy drinking can wreak havoc on your intestinal fortitutde. Anyone who thinks this story is an urban legend simply haven't drank enough.

Tap it again? What is she? A party keg?

From what I've seen of high school kids and kids just entering college, I am completely unsurprised. Any teacher will tell you that the batch of youngin's we're releasing from the school systems these days are some of the most apathetic, self-centered, evil bastards yet.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:27 AM on March 30, 2004

Worst. FPP. Ever. An unfunny, mildly offensive, well known urban legend deserves front page placement?

Matt, make it go away!
posted by glenwood at 5:32 AM on March 30, 2004

This post is poo.
posted by johnnyboy at 5:33 AM on March 30, 2004

No dignity in this story. . . Move along, nothing to see here.
posted by ashbury at 5:46 AM on March 30, 2004

does anyone have it mirrored, the link isn't working any longer.
posted by jmgorman at 6:03 AM on March 30, 2004

The title of this FPP was taken from the title of the forum entry. The story was checked at Snopes. Tough crowd...
posted by BobsterLobster at 6:42 AM on March 30, 2004

But what makes it a good post, Bobster?
posted by LittleMissCranky at 7:27 AM on March 30, 2004

I was amused by the way this post progressed... watching as a seemingly casual story to a specialist forum took on a momentum of it's own and became worldwide. I was curious to see if it was true, and if the protagonist might be discovered. I did warn people it was going to be gross in the description, no-one was forced to read further. I was also interested by the urban-legend feel to it, and this was followed up on by subsequent replies here.
There are plenty of stories around on the internet about people who act badly and receive their come-uppance through this medium, these are interesting stories.
posted by BobsterLobster at 7:43 AM on March 30, 2004

All things being equal, that's really pretty quick thinking.
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 7:51 AM on March 30, 2004

nevermind, I found it. Um, that wasn't really very funny and it was in v. poor taste.
posted by jmgorman at 9:38 AM on March 30, 2004

Well this one certainly raises the bar.
posted by xmutex at 9:56 AM on March 30, 2004

Disgusting / bodybuilding / internet meme? That doesn't come close to this.

WARNING: when I say it's disgusting, I mean it. If you are in the least bit queasy and/or don't have the ability to scrub your retinas then do not click this link. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
posted by Fofer at 10:01 AM on March 30, 2004

This is one of those stories that you hear so often most likely because it happens so often.

There are plenty of urban legends that are repeated constantly that probably never happened or at least very rarely.

Happens OFTEN? Oh please.

This is an old story that just happens to be everywhere because its so disgusting.

Of course, this isn't the "best" of the web, and I'm sad to see it on metafilter.
posted by justgary at 10:10 AM on March 30, 2004

Disgusting / bodybuilding / internet meme? That doesn't come close to this.

WARNING: when I say it's disgusting, I mean it. If you are in the least bit queasy and/or don't have the ability to scrub your retinas then do not click this link. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


This was the story that immediately popped into my head when I read the FPP as well. I was rather surprised when I looked into the thread to see all of this talk of sex and stuff. btw, as a college student at a school known for heavy drinking, I know of dozens of (true, many of which i've seen the aftermath of) stories of friends pissing/shitting/puking in any number of compromising situations, and I don't think I've ever heard this variant (not sure because the main link is no longer valid, but judging by the discussion...)
posted by rorycberger at 5:50 PM on March 30, 2004