Comments on: Tropical Canada?

Tropical Canada?

moonbird — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 13:42:47 -0800

Canadian expansionism: there's a plan afoot for Canada to annex the beautifully sunny Turks and Caicos islands. Why? "Turks and Caicos would give Canada a warm, friendly 11th province - a southern destination where the Loonie could land without breaking a wing."

By: Ryvar

Ryvar — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 13:55:01 -0800

From psychohistory we can easily derive that all those stupid redneck jokes about invading Canada will prove horribly ironic as this trend of Flannel-imperialism waxes to its zenith and America is annexed in a bloody war to become the 12th province, dubbed the 'learning-challenged province.' Eventually, however, Canada will push too far and Europe will be the primary agent responsible for the Allied victory in WW3 - a fact which they will STILL be incessantly reminding us of some sixty years after the war is over. Canada will be resigned to an East Germany-like fate, eventually assuming its destiny as the 51st American state not from conquering, but from failing to conquer. For the present however, I would at least suggest that all you Starbucks employees convert to the worship of Tim Horton's - it will make the transition MUCH easier for you.

By: nobbie

nobbie — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 14:08:45 -0800

i found this site a couple of years ago. funny...

By: birdherder

birdherder — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 14:09:15 -0800

What will Canada's policy concerning the rush of USian boat people that will washing up on the shores of the Turks/Caicos islands? Asylum?

By: Hogshead

Hogshead — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 14:14:40 -0800

Having actually spent some time in the Turks & Caicos Islands, I can confirm that it is a major destination for Canadian visitors (I'm not going to call them tourists, mostly because the T&Cs aren't really large enough to allow much touring of any kind), and there's a remarkable synergy between the two countries' mindsets. Also, it's very nice there.

By: dithered

dithered — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 14:39:18 -0800

21-40 or fight?

By: stonerose

stonerose — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 14:45:55 -0800

Quiet, you fools! They'll find out about the Toronto MeFi war cabinet meeting this Saturday night!

By: Razzle Bathbone

Razzle Bathbone — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 14:52:20 -0800

Its all part of a cunning plan. First we send out our Special Forces as tourists. Then the RV Cavalry heads south to sieze key US recreational vehicle instillations. And then the next thing you will know is that you start to see poutine on restaurant menus.

By: Krrrlson

Krrrlson — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 15:47:21 -0800

Poutine? I think you mean "Freedom Slop."

By: teferi

teferi — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 15:54:25 -0800

Ah, the Turks and Caicos. Lovely diving there.

By: tiamat

tiamat — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 16:52:41 -0800

Anyone who stands in our way will be politely asked to move aside, or routed around. Thank your for your cooperation.

By: Dasein

Dasein — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 17:07:49 -0800

I'm sure we could find more than just these few islands that would love to mooch off Ontario and Alberta for health care. We could also use the territory to make up for the parts of Canada that Denmark is trying to steal from us.

By: shepd

shepd — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 17:43:57 -0800

Canada's top diplomat in Denmark was summoned to the Royal Danish Ministry of Foreign Affairs Monday to discuss the disagreement. Oooooo! Oh no! They might use their WORDS against us! Oh, wait, words hurt. I can't hear now. Damn.

By: Salmonberry

Salmonberry — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 17:45:24 -0800

Us vs the Danes. A Clash of epic proportions!

By: Jaybo

Jaybo — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 18:33:08 -0800

Okay, lots of joking around ("ha, ha - Canada's an ice world so it needs a warm island. Ha, ha - Canadian world domination. Ha, ha - tropical poutine!") but does anybody have any actual, you know, opinions on this? I think it is an amazingly great idea. Every time I manage to save a few pennies to visit a warm climate, I can't help but think the exact idea being put forth here - Canada should enter into an agreement with some tropical nation so we have our own Hawaii (or Florida or Arizona or Mexico or Cuba depending on whether you want a vacation destination, retirement mecca or a mixture of both - which is what this would give you.) Peter Goldring, a Conservative MP from Edmonton, is leading the current charge to do this and has an open letter to Canadians on his web site (http://www.petergoldring.ca/) where he lists advantages for our country and theirs... The advantage for Canadians are many: - Stable, secure retirement condos - Stable, secure vacation destination in Canada - Manufacturing distribution for the Caribbean and South America - Convention destination - Olympic sports year-round training possibility - A place for Paul Martin to park his fleet in Canada - Opening new Central and Southern American markets - Caribbean destination for Canada's naval training exercises - National revenue from a new 'have' province - Rebalance our nation's present international vacation travel deficit The advantages for the people of the Turks & Caicos are also many: - A greatly expanded economy - Lower cost goods and services - Direct regular air travel to the rest of Canada - Universal health care – improved hospital and medical facilities - Movie industry location/studios - Greater regional stability, security - Diversifying the economy with manufacturing, distribution jobs - Ready access to post-secondary education - Military and Coast Guard integration and improvement - Potential for hosting of sporting events, conventions, etc. Can anyone think of the disadvantages or why this shouldn't be done? - I guess there's no guarantee that doing this would make the island a "have" province. - The chain of islands that make up the Turks & Caicos are only 430 sq km according to CIA world fact book, less than 1/10 the size of PEI or about 2/3 the size of Edmonton. Is there enough space to make it affordable for the majority of travellers/snowbirds who would like to visit/retire there? (I've always thought a larger place, already Canada-friendly, like Cuba would be a natural for establishing a more formal connection like this.) - I've never been but would a massive influx of tourists ruin whatever small-island charm the place may have? - do the additional costs of developing infrastructure outweigh the benefit - at least in the short term? (The GDP is listed as $231 million USD - that's barely one scandal's worth of cash for our current government!) Anything else I'm missing? See you in the Turks & Caicos in 2010? Jason

By: billsaysthis

billsaysthis — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 19:16:49 -0800

My favorite Club Med resort is on the main island. Wonder if annexation would make the flights better or cheaper. Go Canucks!

By: Dasein

Dasein — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 19:54:53 -0800

Well, Jaybo, sorry to be a contrarion, but: The advantage for Canadians are many: - Stable, secure retirement condos Islands become another Victoria; government pays tens of millions of dollars to care for ageing population thousands of kilometres away. - Stable, secure vacation destination in Canada Also: Florida. Okay, this would be more secure. - Manufacturing distribution for the Caribbean and South America How would this accomplish that? It's not like we can't ship stuff to Central and South America as it is. - Convention destination For Canadians? Not an economic benefit. For others? I doubt it - they wouldn't get any work done. - Olympic sports year-round training possibility We don't spend anything on our athletes as it is, so it doesn't matter; they're too poor to do nothing but train. Also: going indoors. - A place for Paul Martin to park his fleet in Canada He seems to like to park it in other places anyway. - Opening new Central and Southern American markets No, just getting closer too them. Unless we plan on annexing all of Central and South America. - Caribbean destination for Canada's naval training exercises Unimportant. - National revenue from a new 'have' province Give me a break. It would suck in our tax dollars like there's no tomorrow. It would be by far the poorest province (okay, it wouldn't be a province, but you get the point) and would be completely unable to afford proper health care, education, roads, etc. And we'd have to ship a whole lot of skilled people down there to get it up and running. - Rebalance our nation's present international vacation travel deficit Huh? What the hell is an international vacation deficit? If it became part of Canada, it wouldn't be international anymore. The advantages for the people of the Turks & Caicos are also many: - A greatly expanded economy No kidding. Transfer payments and welfare will do that. - Lower cost goods and services How, exactly? - Direct regular air travel to the rest of Canada Yup, suddenly we'd have another island in Confederation for everyone to leave in search of jobs. - Universal health care – improved hospital and medical facilities This would certainly be good for them. Why we should care (or pay for it) is beyond me. - Movie industry location/studios Who cares? - Greater regional stability, security Not really, the Americans already take care of that as much as anyone's going to, but it'd be nice to pay the tab for the Navy to sun itself on exercise down there. - Diversifying the economy with manufacturing, distribution jobs Just because they join Canada doesn't give them jobs. You've got to have some skills and raw materials before any factory's going to come your way. - Ready access to post-secondary education Um, not really. Tuition isn't exactly cheap in Canada (well, compared to the States, but who wants to use that pathetic standard as a benchmark?). And they'd still have to get in. - Military and Coast Guard integration and improvement Yes, great for the islanders. A nice big cost for the rest of us. - Potential for hosting of sporting events, conventions, etc. Who cares? And see above. In sum: REALLY not worth it.

By: Salmonberry

Salmonberry — Tue, 30 Mar 2004 20:03:59 -0800

I think it's clear. We should annex Denmark. While not really a warm, sunny place, it does have a nifty lego factory. And they have better health care than we do, so that won't be a problem. And they'll stop trying to steal our Arctic islands. (A few people up here seem to think some influential Canadians have invested in Turks & Caicos real estate, and would like the property values to go up with political stability, hence the push.)

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Wed, 31 Mar 2004 00:10:46 -0800

How about we ship the Separatists off to Denmark, replace them with Danes, and send me off to the Caicos? Works for me, anyway.

By: canucklehead

canucklehead — Wed, 31 Mar 2004 13:23:47 -0800

Sounds good to me! But what do the islanders think about it? http://www.turksandcaicos.tc/government/ says: Population and Housing Census Census Office: (649) 946-1619 Based on the 2001 Census Report the total population is said to be 20,014. It is now estimated to be 25,000. I don't think that this population would be enough to seriously compromise our health care system (more so than it already is) or any other welfare programs. I'd say that's a great trade, sign me up for my time share :)

By: Leonard

Leonard — Wed, 31 Mar 2004 14:53:25 -0800

Dasein has it right. I've spent a lot of time in T&C and Canada would get the shaft in that deal. I suspect 'serious' politicians know this, that's why this issue has gone under every time it's come up, it's just rookie back benchers who think it's a good idea. The real issue is never raised anyway. Work permits. It is very hard/expensive to work in T&C. The only voters in the country are called 'belongers', there are only about 8000 of them and they run the government from stem to stern. They want Canadian money, but they don't want to let Canadian work and vote on the islands.