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Just say no to Crack
April 23, 2004 10:49 AM   Subscribe

Staking out the high moral ground, a bill would punish those wearing low-riding jeans. It seems that Representative Derrick D. T. Shepherd of Louisiana, a Democrat no less, wants to outlaw low slung pants. Plumbers beware, and stock up on Butt-Crack Caulk! Really, don't they have anything better to legislate besides fashion or holidays?
posted by Eekacat (45 comments total)

 
Hey, Crack is Wack.

or so I've been told.
posted by jonmc at 10:55 AM on April 23, 2004


these damn kids today, with their Music Tele-vision and their gang tattoos and their undawears showing. there oughta be a law!
posted by ruddhist at 10:59 AM on April 23, 2004


Personally, I don't know why everyone under the age of 25 currently wants to dress like a bratz doll, with hip-huggers and bare midriff.

But I support their right to do it.
But plumbers' buttcrack jeans? Ban 'em!
posted by Shane at 11:01 AM on April 23, 2004


I don't know why everyone under the age of 25 currently wants to dress like a bratz doll

Next trend: nose removal.
posted by jonmc at 11:13 AM on April 23, 2004


A dry crack is a happy crack!
posted by Vidiot at 11:20 AM on April 23, 2004


This is a joke right?

Some idiot is wasting time trying to outlaw low slung pants? Because they offend his Victorian sensibilities?

There have got to be more important things to be dealing with than kids in stupid clothes (though I personally like bare belly look, the low slungs aren't bad either).
posted by fenriq at 11:22 AM on April 23, 2004


"It's sort of like nudity," he said. "You know it when you see it."

Actually, I think we've got that one pretty well defined...
posted by nickmark at 11:23 AM on April 23, 2004


"It's sort of like nudity," [shepherd] said. "You know it when you see it."

On preview: Damn you nickmark.
posted by fvw at 11:27 AM on April 23, 2004


"It's sort of like nudity," he said. "You know it when you see it."

Actually, pseudonudity annoys me more than nudity. Like those magazine spreads where they show a topless model covering her boobs with her hands, or panties around a close-up of ankles. Oh, that's great. Why not show a bed with a pile of clothes next to it. I'll imagine there's people fucking in the bed and get all agitated. Jeesh.

You wanna expose flesh, ladies, I say either go all the way or fuckin' forget it, y'know what I'm saying.
posted by jonmc at 11:31 AM on April 23, 2004


I hate to get, you know, all anal on the dude from the ACLU, but(t) Mr. Cook said "I can think of a lot of workers, plumbers, who are working and expose their buttocks and the beginning of the crack of their anus."

Somebody get this guy a dictionary.
posted by SteveInMaine at 11:38 AM on April 23, 2004


While we're at it, can we outlaw bare midriffs on anyone with more than 25 percent body fat? I mean, what are some of these people thinking?
posted by Slothrup at 11:38 AM on April 23, 2004


The real tragedy: the low-slung pants will make the kids trip when they're running from the police.
posted by jeffmshaw at 11:39 AM on April 23, 2004


While we're at it, can we outlaw bare midriffs on anyone with more than 25 percent body fat? I mean, what are some of these people thinking?

Amen. As a friend of mine once said, "Spandex is a priviledge, not a right."
posted by vignettist at 11:53 AM on April 23, 2004


Um. Not that I support this type of legislation...
posted by vignettist at 11:55 AM on April 23, 2004


No one has linked to the text? Sheesh.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:06 PM on April 23, 2004


jeffmshaw, one man's tragedy is another person's America's Funniest Home Video.
posted by fenriq at 12:06 PM on April 23, 2004


In addition to fashion, I wonder what other aspects of people's lives the government can control through legislation.
posted by the fire you left me at 12:10 PM on April 23, 2004


My favorite quote:

"Hopefully, if we pull up their pants," he said, "we can lift their minds while we're at it."

And more info on the bill. You'll notice the text says nothing about skirts. Apparently, it's the pants, man, the pants, that are the problem.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:15 PM on April 23, 2004


First, they came for my pants, but I said nothing...
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:20 PM on April 23, 2004


All of a sudden, No Pants Day is beginning to look less like an innocent holiday and more like an act of organized civil disobedience.

Sort of.
posted by nickmark at 12:24 PM on April 23, 2004


everytime i try to buy jeans all they have are "super low rise"

lets sue the fashion designers, the clothing companies and the department stores!
posted by jessica at 12:25 PM on April 23, 2004




This may get young people involved in politics, what when Christina Aguilera and Avril Lavigne concerts start getting cancelled...
posted by Shane at 12:42 PM on April 23, 2004


(flashing back to the time in class when the Chinese girl who sat in front of me wore jeans cut so low that I was given an unimpeded view of her o-ring for 45 minutes)
posted by bunnytricks at 1:13 PM on April 23, 2004


o-ring?
posted by bshort at 1:58 PM on April 23, 2004


This reminds me of SHAP (SkinHeads Against Pants) . Where are the old SHAP boys now?
posted by toddst at 2:01 PM on April 23, 2004


Because if I'm tired of something, it shoud be illegal.

Legislators like this are why I support the death penalty. Unchecked, stupidity BREEDS.
posted by rushmc at 2:11 PM on April 23, 2004


Ok, it's an election year.

This seems to be something that goes on a lot on local politics. I don't think anyone has any illusions of this passing but sometimes state reps will do anything to get themselves in the paper.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 2:34 PM on April 23, 2004


MrMoonPie: "You'll notice the text says nothing about skirts"
Shephard (bill's author): "'Hopefully, if we pull up their pants,' he said, 'we can lift their minds while we're at it.'"

Oh, I think I know what he has in mind for their skirts.
posted by adamrice at 2:36 PM on April 23, 2004


Back in my day, we worried about IMPORTANT things, like kids wearing Bart Simpson shirts. Now those were the height of controversy back then.
posted by SisterHavana at 5:02 PM on April 23, 2004


Schoolchildren who wear asscrack-baring slacks should be duly photographed, mocked and defenestrated.

Just kidding. U.S. Out Of My Pants!
posted by obloquy at 5:15 PM on April 23, 2004


i saw a kid the other day crossing the street with his shorts slung below his boxers, i did not know how they stayed on! he was not wearing suspenders! crazy!
posted by kliuless at 5:32 PM on April 23, 2004


mmmm, o-ring.

kliuless: dig this. onstad must be psychic or something....
posted by dorian at 5:58 PM on April 23, 2004


Huh. He's a man of small ambition. How about passing a Mandatory Dressing Like Our Parents Act, and solving the problem for all generations?
posted by aeschenkarnos at 6:03 PM on April 23, 2004


bunnytricks: I call shennanigans. There aren't any holes pointing in that direction when sitting. Unless that isn't what an o-ring is...?

Was she cute? Pics or it didn't happen.
posted by Ptrin at 6:06 PM on April 23, 2004


ptrin: she was rather thin, had a tiny pelvis and pants that were already very low cut but sliding down. after a while she must have felt a breeze blowing through the streets of browntown and managed to pull them up by sliding her ass forward in the seat.

and cute but dim and slightly abrasive. sorry, didn't get my camera until a couple of months after it happened.
posted by bunnytricks at 6:21 PM on April 23, 2004


Shoulda used her as a pencil holder. That'd be a bit of a wake-up call.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:53 AM on April 24, 2004


Oh, come on. If that really happened, she was doing it on purpose.
posted by bingo at 8:22 AM on April 24, 2004


thanks dorian :D
posted by kliuless at 10:58 AM on April 25, 2004


Can teenage girls wear jeans which just simulate low riders?

What about jeans with printed-on "flesh" and "butt crack" ?
posted by troutfishing at 11:26 AM on April 25, 2004


I sense a commercial opportunity.
posted by troutfishing at 11:27 AM on April 25, 2004


Troutfishing: you're thinking way too small. Now, jeans with printed-on creepy back tatoos -- I can hear the cash registers from here!
posted by Ptrin at 11:49 AM on April 25, 2004


There was a guy (a white guy) who sat in front of me in high-school chemistry who refused to wear a belt, and thus exposed us every day. We amused ourselves by tossing in wadded up pieces of paper.

Good times, good times.
posted by MrMoonPie at 3:16 PM on April 26, 2004


vignettistAmen. As a friend of mine once said, "Spandex is a priviledge, not a right."

You were friends with Cereral Killer?
posted by Mitheral at 10:43 AM on April 29, 2004 [1 favorite]


I don't think anyone has any illusions of this passing but sometimes state reps will do anything to get themselves in the paper.

Tell that to the women who can no longer legally procure new genital piercings in Georgia, the thousands of people who cross state lines because they can't be tattooed in Oklahoma, and the renegade ferret owners of California.
posted by Dreama at 12:59 PM on April 29, 2004


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