Keystone Cops...oh, wait that's the FBI

May 11, 2004 1:56 PM

Reclusive millionaire planning to attack?Ah, the FBI. Raid raid high schools to stop file sharing...absolutely. Tracking down real terrorist threats, well, that's a bit caper of a different color. It would seem that "reclusive but evil millionaire" Don Emilio Fulci, the dastardly bastard, "had formed a terrorist group that was planning chemical attacks against London and Washington, D.C." The threat was considered so great that it was listed in their daily "threat matrix" and FBI director Robert Mueller was briefed. The problem? Don Fulci is a character from the video game Headhunter. | via TechDirt
posted by dejah420 (16 comments total)

All right, people, calm down. We've got one of our best Headhunters on this case. Jack Wade.

Hmm...but it turns out he didn't actually take down the Don during his first mission. I guess we'll just send him on another one.
posted by graventy at 2:13 PM on May 11, 2004

Yes, but what about this Lex Luthor character everyone's talking about? He sounds German!
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:18 PM on May 11, 2004

I love the way they named their character as an hommage to cult horror film director Lucio Fulci (Tarantino's a big fan, too).
cool post, thanks
posted by matteo at 2:22 PM on May 11, 2004

We searched on Google for the date of Don Fulci attack, but we didn't find any !
posted by elpapacito at 3:22 PM on May 11, 2004

*inserts mandatory Keystone Kops reference *
posted by matteo at 3:39 PM on May 11, 2004

I feel safer already!
posted by troutfishing at 3:53 PM on May 11, 2004

"one day last April"

possible transcription error of:
April 1 ?
posted by srboisvert at 4:03 PM on May 11, 2004

Wait until they hear about Tommy Vercetti and Postal Dude, the whole country will be in a state of emergency.
posted by clevershark at 5:00 PM on May 11, 2004

I read somewhere that there is some kind of disturbance going on over at Black Mesa Research Facility too. I hear USASOC is handling that, though.
posted by moonbiter at 5:19 PM on May 11, 2004

No, moonbiter, you're wrong. That happened nearly 5 years ago. (Pre-MeFi, which is probably why there isn't a post about it...) I heard a rumor of alien trouble resurfacing, but from what I've heard it's not going to happen this year.
posted by graventy at 6:13 PM on May 11, 2004

(This whole game world/real world mix reminds me of a comment I posted on an unrelated thread on my own site)

Ugh. Look, After the fall of Hyrule, everything changed. I've heard all this whining about propaganda, and 'what are we gonna do now', but the fact remains that at the end of the day, we got rid of a bad Koopa. Let me remind you that this is the dictator that Bob-omb'ed his own goombas. And I'm proud to say that the torture chambers where thousands of Mushroom Retainers were beaten and killed are now, finally, closed.

If you libs can't get behind that, I have only one question: Why do you hate the Mushroom Kingdom?

posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 6:16 PM on May 11, 2004

Well, I don't know which to believe. That someone hoaxed the FBI or that US News and World Report was themselves hoodwinked. I'm no fan of the FBI but this sets off my BS detector.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 6:16 PM on May 11, 2004

Tend to agree with KirkJobSluder. Is really funny, and not impossible, but I tend to doubt it. Could something similar, but smaller, theoretically pop up in a report somewhere? sure. But getting worked up over a reclusive, evil millionaire no one ever heard of? unlikely.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 6:43 PM on May 11, 2004

Or yet another explanation based on the date, that it was an intra-agency April Fools joke that was not taken seriously.

Put the pieces together. One paragraph, no named source, no confirmation from any other media source. I'd treat this one with a grain of salt.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 7:04 PM on May 11, 2004

You're right graventy, I'm wrong. Looks like Delta Green has been deep-sixed too. Oh well.
posted by moonbiter at 7:17 PM on May 11, 2004

I'd treat this one with a grain of salt.

Yeah, that was my first reaction too...and had it been anyone other than the media source listed, I would have been tempted to dismiss it, but you know...the USN&WR has a lot of credibility and seems unlikely to just make stuff up.

But, the public doesn't have access to the Threat Matrix report which is generated daily for the leaders...so there's no way to really know, I guess.
posted by dejah420 at 8:16 PM on May 11, 2004