Comments on: Troy (the movie) in 15 minutes.

Troy (the movie) in 15 minutes.

gottabefunky — Thu, 20 May 2004 10:47:29 -0800

Troy (the movie) in 15 minutes. Just in case you didn't feel like sitting through the whole ~~ten years~~ two hours 43 minutes. via BoingBoing

Bedroom of Helen of ~~Troy~~ Sparta
PARIS: Hey, baby, I brought you a pearl necklace.
HELEN [weepy]: I can't wear it because I'm sort of already married to that other guy but we've been doing the royal nasty for a week already anyway and you're going to leave tomorrow and WAHHHHH.
PARIS: You could stow away and come with me and start a war that will end up killing 90% of the cast and totally be the downfall of my people and my kingdom!
HELEN: *sniff* I think... that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.

By: armoured-ant

armoured-ant — Thu, 20 May 2004 11:36:36 -0800

[This is fucking excellent]

By: whoshotwho

whoshotwho — Thu, 20 May 2004 11:57:10 -0800

I couldn't make it through the whole thing. Some parts were just too confusing (but still funny!) for me to understand what the heck was going on. (I haven't read the Illiad or seen the movie.)

By: Gyan

Gyan — Thu, 20 May 2004 11:59:41 -0800

You bloody spoiled it!

By: clevershark

clevershark — Thu, 20 May 2004 12:33:48 -0800

PRIAM: Besides, the Greeks couldn't possibly have an ulterior motive for leaving a giant horse big enough to hide a couple dozen soldiers! Let's bring it back to the city! hehe... this is just too rich! Seriously though, how close can it be to the Iliad if Menelaus dies at Troy?!? especially given that he appears in the Odyssey, which takes place years later...

By: abcde

abcde — Thu, 20 May 2004 12:37:24 -0800

See the venrerable [url=http://ter.air0day.com/]Abridged Film Scripts[/url].

By: abcde

abcde — Thu, 20 May 2004 12:38:37 -0800

God damn it. Was foruming in another window and the wires crossed. Abridged Film Scripts

By: gottabefunky

gottabefunky — Thu, 20 May 2004 13:15:24 -0800

Ha, great site abcde. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER Hey, remember when everyone was in the graveyard and you were posing as Claire's boyfriend, and then right when you could have killed her you turned back into your default form, telling everyone you the enemy and allowing me to beat you? KRISTANNA LOKEN Yeah. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER What the fuck is the matter with you? KRISTANNA, now angered, beats the snot out of ARNOLD, who beats the SNOT back out of her. Eventually, she knocks his head off and leaves. He puts his head back on with the help of CGI WORSE THAN THAT USED IN THE FILM'S PREDECESSOR, WHICH WAS MADE OVER 10 YEARS EARLIER, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

By: Katemonkey

Katemonkey — Thu, 20 May 2004 14:16:09 -0800

Don't forget Van Helsing In Fifteen Minutes, Hannibal In Fifteen Minutes, and Hiidalgo In Fifteen Minutes... God, I <3 fandom on livejournal.

By: Mossy

Mossy — Thu, 20 May 2004 15:24:01 -0800

Fifteen minutes of Van Helsing is 15 too many. Ditto on the Hidalgo. I wonder if anyone has created a montage of just Hopkin's clips from silence of the lambs..

By: hattifattener

hattifattener — Fri, 21 May 2004 00:08:02 -0800

I still think it's weird that they seem to have left most of the god stuff out of the movie Troy.