Comments on: Hey, hey LBJ! How many containers did you ship today?

Hey, hey LBJ! How many containers did you ship today?

Mayor Curley — Fri, 21 May 2004 05:26:09 -0800

Cargo cultists versus Christians. Two religions enter, one religion leaves! Differences have led to murder on an island near Oceania. Many of us learned about cargo cults from Jared Diamond's Guns, Germs, and Steel. However, it seems that there's more to the story, including a Lyndon Johnson connection.

By: troutfishing

troutfishing — Fri, 21 May 2004 05:47:56 -0800

Curley - I think that middle link was the real prize : "In the native view, the Christians worshipped the god Anus. He created Adam and Eve and gave them cargo of canned meat, steel tools, rice in bags and matches. He took it all away when they discovered sex and he sent a flood to destroy them, but he gave Noah a big wooden steamboat and made him the captain so he would survive. When Ham disobeyed his father his cargo was taken away and he was sent to New Guinea. Now his descendants were being given a chance to reform and regain their cargo. All through the twenties the natives patiently worked hard, sang hymns and prayed to Anus. But by the thirties it became clear that the missionaries were lying; they had been good Christians and worked hard, but it was the foreign bosses who did no work that got all the cargo. They were not yet ready to abandon Christianity, however. Instead they formed a new theory in the interwar period: Jesus Christ had been kidnapped by a combination of the European missionaries and a conspiracy of Jews, whom the natives knew from Bible stories. He was trying His best to help out His people in New Guinea, but the power of the Jews was keeping the cargo under wraps." Some of this was sort of accurate, anyway, like the part about the cargo-hording Christians who worshp an asshole - That sounds about right. Plus, the Christian god hates sex. That sounds accurate too.

By: troutfishing

troutfishing — Fri, 21 May 2004 06:45:51 -0800

Just to clarify - I think the asshole is that old guy on the throne, in the sky, who's always shitting on his subjects by ordering them to go into land of ____ and kill every man, woman, and child there. But the younger guy what suffered so much, he's OK by me. He warn't no asshole.

By: GrahamVM

GrahamVM — Fri, 21 May 2004 06:54:55 -0800

Would you say the sun shines out of it?

By: togdon

togdon — Fri, 21 May 2004 07:33:34 -0800

By: asok

asok — Fri, 21 May 2004 07:38:32 -0800

It's like a real life Populous mod.

By: troutfishing

troutfishing — Fri, 21 May 2004 07:45:12 -0800

GrahamVM - No, but Jung launched a career on that.

By: jbrjake

jbrjake — Fri, 21 May 2004 07:48:48 -0800

Here an old FPP with some John Frum info.

By: angry modem

angry modem — Fri, 21 May 2004 08:04:12 -0800

In the native view, the Christians worshipped the god Anus. I thought that said planet anus at first. nsfw

By: profwhat

profwhat — Fri, 21 May 2004 08:28:26 -0800

Geography correction. Tanna is not "an island near Oceania." It's part of Oceania. Oceania is a term used to describe the lands of the central and South Pacific, including Melanesia. Tanna is a Melanesian island, part of Vanuatu, about 1000 miles east of Australia.

By: troutfishing

troutfishing — Fri, 21 May 2004 09:25:24 -0800

Footnote to correction : We are at war with Oceania. We always have been at war with Oceania. We always will be at war with Oceania....

By: spazzm

spazzm — Fri, 21 May 2004 10:05:09 -0800

I can't see that this is any sillier than any of the other religions I have encountered.

By: trondant

trondant — Fri, 21 May 2004 10:17:07 -0800

This is as good a case as any for getting away from the keyboard and outside, where mountain breezes cool your face and the beaming anus of Judge Schreber warms your skin.

By: Bonzai

Bonzai — Fri, 21 May 2004 11:42:38 -0800

John Frum emerged as the name of their Messiah, although there are no records of an American soldier with that name. I wonder. Could this be the result of an American soldier introducing himself, "Hi, I'm John from America." (or John from California, or the like)

By: piskycritter

piskycritter — Fri, 21 May 2004 14:13:23 -0800

Jebus!

By: troutfishing

troutfishing — Sat, 22 May 2004 20:48:16 -0800

Bonzai - well, we heard it here first. I'm biting.