Chop.

May 21, 2004 8:19 AM

"I showed them everything from a simple hook to a nonfunctioning artificial hand to a $50,000 bionic arm," Agris says. "They all picked the bionic arm." 7 Iraqi men recieve tattoo removal and a bionic arm.
posted by tomplus2 (13 comments total)

Hmm, hook or $50,000 bionic arm? Hook or $50,000 bionic arm? It is SUCH a hard choice.

Oh wait, no its not.

A truly scary story and some more grist for the getting rid of Saddam mill.

Good post!
posted by fenriq at 8:24 AM on May 21, 2004

Call me cynical, but with the recent prisoner abuse, this feels like an attempt to say "yeah, but Saddam did worse, and to his own people, meanwhile we gave away 7 bionic arms - cut us some slack" which is somehow sickening, really.
posted by Grod at 8:28 AM on May 21, 2004

Yes, because even if that is the case, trying to do something to make up for wrongs committed is a terrible terrible thing.
posted by obfusciatrist at 8:35 AM on May 21, 2004

Americans - they drop antipersonnel cluster bombs from airplanes, which blow up and shred the arms and legs of people (including children and American troops on the ground) without discrimination, and then they generously - and I mean that, in the truest spirit of charity - donate expensive bionic arms.....

To victims of atrocities perpetrated by others, not by them.

It's a funny mix of warmhearted generosity and schizy denial.
posted by troutfishing at 9:22 AM on May 21, 2004

Is it wise to hand out bionic arms willy nilly? What if we have to fight these people a few years down the road. They'll have, you know, bionic arms and all our guys will have regular arms...
posted by crank at 9:31 AM on May 21, 2004

I'm sure there's a backdoor. So then after they're captured and dragged into jail by their own arm, the NSA can force them to masturbate remotely. Think of the manpower savings.
posted by yerfatma at 10:03 AM on May 21, 2004

"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the worlds first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster."


Had to be said!
posted by SisterHavana at 10:10 AM on May 21, 2004

yerfatmama, now that's technology at work! The image you gave me is priceless.

I see men all over the world with bionic arms getting the secret signal and their metal hands start masturbating them!

Holy crap, I may have to go outside to laugh!

SisterHavana, what if they cross Steve Austin with the creepy Enzyte Smiley Guy?

"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology and pills. We have the capability to make the worlds first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster. Longer. Fuller. Creepier."
posted by fenriq at 10:19 AM on May 21, 2004

To the cynics above: The article does not suggest the US Government has a major role in helping these men.

Please try to remember a distinction: The US *government* is (sadly) not the same as its *citizens* (and, I don't just mean "under the current administration"), which are capable of great compassion and love.
posted by o2b at 10:20 AM on May 21, 2004

Is Oscar Goldman still on the Board of Directors at Halliburton?
posted by trondant at 10:22 AM on May 21, 2004

God those were great shows. I used to have both the bionic man and bionic woman dolls -- you could see their bionic parts by rolling back their skin. Presumably they're doing it a little differently here.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:45 AM on May 21, 2004

Call me cynical, but with the recent prisoner abuse, this feels like an attempt to say "yeah, but Saddam did worse, and to his own people, meanwhile we gave away 7 bionic arms - cut us some slack" which is somehow sickening, really.

The article is dated April 14, and the Abu Ghraib pictures came out two weeks after.
posted by Holden at 10:46 AM on May 21, 2004

They reference the abuses at THAT prison (the '...notorious Abu Gherib prison...'). Of course, they were referring to Saddam's torture.
posted by sleslie at 11:15 AM on May 21, 2004