They come in threes

May 25, 2004 3:53 PM

Kerry pokes fun at Bush mishap
What’s going on here? As the CNN article has changed from earlier. What I notice is that originally the CNN article said along the lines; “Mr. Kerry had his own bicycling mishap earlier this month, taking a spill while riding with Secret Service agents through Concord, Mass. Mr. Kerry fell when his bike hit a patch of sand. He was not injured.” Which if iirc this similar statment was after Kerry commented about the accident. Saying he is glad Bush was ok, then being surprised Bush rides.
posted by thomcatspike (57 comments total)

WTF Drudge is owned by CNN? Sorry don't know how to find CNN's earlier internet article today. I saw it at "Daypop top 40" this afternoon.
posted by thomcatspike at 3:54 PM on May 25, 2004

Kerry's joke is a reference to this statement Bush made two days before his accident.
If that was what you asked.
posted by mr.marx at 4:06 PM on May 25, 2004

Personally, I thought Kerry's training wheel comment was comedy gold and made me like him more as a candidate.
posted by drezdn at 4:13 PM on May 25, 2004

In comments reported by the Associated Press, Mr. Kerry said, "I hope he's OK. I didn't know the president rode a bike."
Looking at CNN's article earlier, the last half has been re-typed. The above is similar to what the CNN article earlier stated. Now with its changes, seems they hope you'll read the Washington Times' one. Then think Kerry bashed Bush.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:14 PM on May 25, 2004

and apparently it's not true--there's no proof Kerry said it at all...drudge made it up, and passed it to Washington Times; then ran the Washington Times story. (the whole bicycle thing is hysterical, and a crock)
posted by amberglow at 4:15 PM on May 25, 2004

I don't have the cache CNN link that I saw earlier, so I'm unable to show you.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:16 PM on May 25, 2004

and a crock).
Why I posted this.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:17 PM on May 25, 2004

I was actually disappointed to find out the quote was a drudge lie. Still, it makes the tempest in a teapot manufactured outrage look even funnier.
posted by Space Coyote at 4:21 PM on May 25, 2004

But why did CNN change their article?
posted by thomcatspike at 4:29 PM on May 25, 2004

It reminds me of their parroting the White House bullshit about the Letterman clip of the bored kid being somehow magically editted.
posted by Space Coyote at 4:30 PM on May 25, 2004

Why in gods name is this news?
posted by delmoi at 4:41 PM on May 25, 2004

It's not news; it called a discussion by filtering the web.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:49 PM on May 25, 2004

thom, I hate to say it but you're making even less sense than usual.

'it called a discussion by filtering the web.' Please explain.
posted by item at 5:22 PM on May 25, 2004

IT'S TOTALLY FLERBLE. WHOMPUS FLERBLE, NO LESS.
posted by quonsar at 5:26 PM on May 25, 2004

Hmm, lets see, Bush fall down, go boom. Anti-Kerry crowd (read Marc Racicot), feeling their nuts crawling up to their sternums, lays bullshit. Bullshit picked up by "neutral crowd" and reported as fact. Bullshit exposed as bullshit. Bullshit changed/used to fertilize rosy smelling flowers. No one corrects the fact that they swallowed bullshit (too embarrasing, I suppose). People here suddenly ask why its important ... bullshit continues its proliferation around the web, which is notoriously poor at smelling what it's fed.

Damage done. Well done Drudge and Bushco. I salute your efforts with a mighty fart.
posted by Wulfgar! at 5:48 PM on May 25, 2004

Bush got drunk (again), he fell down (again). It's only news because his handlers felt like they needed to come up with another cover story after the fact instead of locking up the damn liquor cabinet, and making sure it didn't happen in the first place.

At least this time they surrounded him with enough witnesses this time around to make it seem plausible (cough) pretzel (cough).
posted by psmealey at 5:52 PM on May 25, 2004

but that's just it, psmealey--they didn't surround him at all--there have been no biking pics released at all, which is very unusual to say the least.
posted by amberglow at 6:29 PM on May 25, 2004

This dude falls on his face more than most people over the age of 10. Actually, I think he's got some sort of disease that they aren't telling us about that causes occasional seizures. Either that, or Jesus just wants him to be scabby.
posted by spilon at 7:24 PM on May 25, 2004

i've read that it may really be seizures. (warning--totally unreliable link, but very similar to what's been spoken of for years) and there was that other unexplained bruise on his face a while ago.
posted by amberglow at 7:29 PM on May 25, 2004

Remember the band-aid he had on his face right before the election day? My theory is that Karen beat him after word got out about his DUI.
posted by Space Coyote at 7:34 PM on May 25, 2004

she is tough, but would never hit him in the face. ; >
posted by amberglow at 7:36 PM on May 25, 2004

Maybe it's domestic. Laura is known to be pretty hard on her boyfriends.
posted by mr.marx at 7:46 PM on May 25, 2004

From amberglow's link:

It was reported ... that for a period of time ... after this incident, the President appeared to be 'somewhat confused and very inarticulate.'

That could be talking about last night's speech, for all I know.
posted by clevershark at 7:58 PM on May 25, 2004

"Actually, I think he's got some sort of disease that they aren't telling us about "

He's an alcoholic. Apply Occam's Razor and tell me what you're left with.
posted by 2sheets at 8:11 PM on May 25, 2004

I dunno, I've known a lot of drunks...and they didn't fall down as often as the Bush boy does. He's a clumsy one, that feller.
posted by dejah420 at 8:16 PM on May 25, 2004

he could be drunk, he could have motor problems or brain problems...we won't know for years--think of JFK (constant back pain and drugs and stuff) or FDR (that he was in a wheelchair)....
posted by amberglow at 8:27 PM on May 25, 2004

If Kerry truly said the quote about "I didn't know the president rode a bike", then everything you need to know is right there.

It's not what you say. It's what you don't say.

That is a very polite and gentlemanly way to tip off those who are savvy enough that this was no bicycle accident.

The less subtle way would be to say "A bicycle accident.... riiiiiiight."

Shrub is either a klutz, prone to seizures, or an alcoholic... or possibly some combination of the above. None of which makes me particularly comfortable with him "in command".
posted by Ynoxas at 8:36 PM on May 25, 2004

Neville Chamberlain's great claim to fame wasn't allowing Hitler to invade Czechoslovakia, but hinged on what he said to Stanley Baldwin shortly before accepting the nomination as Prime Minister: "I hope he's okay. I didn't know the Prime Minister owned a pogostick."
posted by ed at 8:55 PM on May 25, 2004

Ok lets see here...

Kerry may or may not have said something funny.

Well that deserves two whole posts!

Bush, Blair, the Pentagon and the US people used as bitches by Iran to eliminate an enemy...ya, that's not news.
posted by CrazyJub at 9:06 PM on May 25, 2004

that was posted by cunninglinguist, CrazyJub...
posted by amberglow at 9:08 PM on May 25, 2004

"I've known a lot of drunks...and they didn't fall down as often as the Bush boy does"

Fuck, I'm a raging drunk, and I haven't fallen down in a good ten years.

At least, not that I remember.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:18 PM on May 25, 2004

Fuck, I'm a raging drunk, and I haven't fallen down in a good ten years.

Me too. Uh, me neither. Uh, nevermind....

Anyway, let's just say I might've fallen down a few times in my day. No matter what, its usually pretty easy to grab something on the way down that'll minimize the impact at least a little. You've gotta be stone cold fucked up to just keel over and land on your face.

And thanks for that awesome conspiracy link, Amberglow... I was really just talking out of my ass up there, but hey, maybe I'm on to something!
posted by spilon at 9:30 PM on May 25, 2004

...Bush runs something like a 5:20 mile.

That is nothing to shake a stick at. I'm seriously afraid nobody among the mefi population can run a 5:20 mile. (My PR is 5:24 I think...)

Keep that in mind when bashing Bush on essentially irrelevant issues.
posted by azazello at 10:08 PM on May 25, 2004

Keep that in mind when bashing Bush on essentially irrelevant issues.

We'll keep in mind that he can best us in equally essentially irrelevant issues, I guess.
posted by clevershark at 10:29 PM on May 25, 2004

...Bush runs something like a 5:20 mile.

To put that in perspective, if he ran out of the Whitehouse gates at 2:45am on a Saturday, he could still make Georgetown before last call.
posted by eddydamascene at 10:45 PM on May 25, 2004

Not only that, he's gotten 40 seconds faster after only two threads! If he keeps this up, by next week he should be able to solve this whole Iraq mess by simply running around the earth fast enough to reverse time and prevent 9/11 from ever occurring!

Now let's see Kerry beat that!
posted by ook at 11:36 PM on May 25, 2004

In other news, Kerry and Bush simulatenously farted at 2:13PM today. This proves that Kerry eats babies and Bush is a sadomasochistic narcoleptic.

This is idiotic.
posted by Krrrlson at 11:52 PM on May 25, 2004

I like your thinkin', Ynoxas.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:58 PM on May 25, 2004

Ironic that one of the common reactions in this thread to Drudge's hearsay is to label Bush an active alcoholic. Talk about unsubstantiated and classy.
posted by jazzkat11 at 5:01 AM on May 26, 2004

Talk about unsubstantiated and classy.

Are you citing the irony of the thread or the irony of the adjectives applied to Mr. Bush himself?
posted by ed at 5:35 AM on May 26, 2004

You've gotta be stone cold fucked up to just keel over and land on your face.

Well, I'm no Bush fan but I was riding my bike off a curb a few years ago when the front tire popped off (I think some asshole had loosened the quick release). I went right over the handle bars and landed teeth first on the road. I had to maintain a goatee for a couple of months just to cover up the damage.

It happened so quickly that I didn't have time to let go of the handlebars and my knuckles looked like hamburger.
posted by smcniven at 6:18 AM on May 26, 2004

They changed it because the statement was made "off the record". Some of the reporters there thought it was comedy gold and spread it around, even though they shouldn't have.
posted by destro at 9:48 AM on May 26, 2004

I went right over the handle bars and landed teeth first on the road.

Ouch! But how many times have you done this in the past three years?

Of course, shit happens and people fall on their face from time to time. I'm just sayin' that it seems like GWB experiences the occasional face-plant far more often than the average bear.
posted by spilon at 9:49 AM on May 26, 2004

Metafilter: "my knuckles looked like hamburger".
posted by gnz2001 at 9:54 AM on May 26, 2004

'it called a discussion by filtering the web.' Please explain.
CNN releases a story.
Later in the day other news source put a spin on it.
CNN's article changes, making the other sources spin look real. If CNN had not changed their article, you would know Drudge had lied since CNN's article easily would have refuted it. What caught my eye, was the spun story was now being viewed more than CNN's and then viewing CNN's noticed the article had changed considerably.

Again, if I had CNN's first story which compared to their current one, you could see it yourself.
posted by thomcatspike at 9:55 AM on May 26, 2004

Metafilter: "my knuckles looked like hamburger".

Yeeehaw, my first Metafilter tagline!!
posted by smcniven at 10:37 AM on May 26, 2004

I'm just sayin' that it seems like GWB experiences the occasional face-plant far more often than the average bear.

Sounds like he's not been cycling that long, and is pushing it a bit hard. I had a five year gap in my regular cycling habits, moved country, bought a new bike (with significantly better brakes, although that may be the move from the damp of England to the dry of LA), and flew over the handlebars twice in six months. Falling off a bike in an uncontrolled manner, is something I'd not done for ten years prior.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 12:20 PM on May 26, 2004

About presidents falling - anyone remember President Ford?
Chevy Chase did President Ford falling shtick on SNL back in the day - over and over and over....
posted by batgrlHG at 12:38 PM on May 26, 2004

Oh and at least poor George wasn't attacked by a bunny.
Though the pretzel thing was with us for a long time...
posted by batgrlHG at 12:44 PM on May 26, 2004

Sounds like he's not been cycling that long, and is pushing it a bit hard.
The first CNN article stated; he rides all out for the reason behind his fall.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:11 PM on May 26, 2004

Then the occasional flesh-ground interface is inevitable, and not really worth serious comment.

Although it could definately stretch to a joke or two.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 2:05 PM on May 26, 2004

The "all-out" quote has been removed from the CNN article (though it's still here.) Probably because it was preceded by an easily fact-checked lie:

"It's been raining a lot and the topsoil is loose," Duffy said. "You know this president. He likes to go all-out.

Or, you know, not.
posted by ook at 2:29 PM on May 26, 2004

Or, you know, not.

We have had rain through out the state. Not sure how accurate that it. The storms came from California & Colorado then us, then headed north-east.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:35 PM on May 26, 2004

Hmm... where are you? Because I'm inclined to believe that weather underground's records are accurate, and they show no rain at all for more than a week before the story, and only a total of 3 inches in the whole month. (Waco is the closest town that shows a running total, but the weather seems to be pretty much the same as in Crawford.)

I mean, sure, it's a stupid little thing. It's just this knee-jerk instinct everyone around Bush seem to have -- to lie, even when it doesn't matter; even if all it is is the president slipped off his bike and scraped his knee, just like a normal human being... no, they have to go invent some story, even one that won't stand up to a tissue-paper's worth of investigation, just to bullshit through it until the next morning's headlines wash it into the past. It's, just, well, damn. Tasteless.
posted by ook at 5:22 PM on May 26, 2004

ook, in Dallas with the weather they have a saying: if you don't like it, wait 15minutes because it will change.

Wako is not that far from Dallas. We have had little recorded rain fall the past two weeks yet it has lightly rained at my home 4 of those days. I do see your side too, why I posted the thread because it seems CNN&BushCo want to think for you, than letting you.
posted by thomcatspike at 9:49 AM on May 27, 2004

Waco: damn spell check.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:46 PM on May 28, 2004

Drudge and Washington Times cited each other in propagating anti-Kerry rumor

Still wondering why CNN changed their initial article making these two reports creditable.
posted by thomcatspike at 11:20 AM on June 3, 2004