Comments on: shouting politics-fiter in a crowded theatre

shouting politics-fiter in a crowded theatre

leotrotsky — Sun, 30 May 2004 08:07:22 -0800

Pros & Cons of Kerry's Veep Choices 14. Ann Coulter, columnist Pro: Flattering position would silence her exposing of the true evil liberal agenda Con: Is composed entirely of spiders and deadly snakes writhing beneath a latex "skin." Courtesy of McSweeneys

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Sun, 30 May 2004 08:17:21 -0800

metafilter - composed entirely of spiders and deadly snakes writhing beneath a latex "skin."

By: gd779

gd779 — Sun, 30 May 2004 09:11:57 -0800

10. Nancy Pelosi, Representative and House Minority Leader, California Pro: Could lure disenchanted liberal voters who might otherwise go with Nader Con: As a liberal, hates America, would make religion illegal, raise taxes by 500 percent, move Capitol to France

By: cbrody

cbrody — Sun, 30 May 2004 09:52:50 -0800

[this is good]

By: rusty

rusty — Sun, 30 May 2004 09:56:46 -0800

Ahh, McSweeney's. No one does "mildly funny" quite like them.

By: SPrintF

SPrintF — Sun, 30 May 2004 10:23:24 -0800

21. Matt Haughy Pro: Universally beloved; gutsy debate style ("You're wrong! No, you're wrong!"); natural campaigner ("We're all in this together."); website administration give Veep Something To Do. Con: May actually be a dog.

By: trondant

trondant — Sun, 30 May 2004 10:51:12 -0800

Arf!

By: euphorb

euphorb — Sun, 30 May 2004 11:18:07 -0800

22. Cthulhu, High Priest of the Great Old Ones Pro: As a being of immense and terrible power he can destroy all who oppose Kerry and demolish his way to the WH. Con: His vengeance is difficult to contain once unleashed. He has the head of a squid.

By: Postroad

Postroad — Sun, 30 May 2004 11:37:47 -0800

Nader: to keep people from voting for Nater as presidential candidate and add some 6% vote to whatever Kerry might get.

By: keswick

keswick — Sun, 30 May 2004 12:06:36 -0800

23. Rusty Foster, Founder of Kuro5hin & the possibly imaginary Collaborative Media Foundation. Pro: Used to not doing much around the office. Con: Easily riled by Photoshopped pictures

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Sun, 30 May 2004 12:50:59 -0800

#4: Bill Clinton: Pros: Oh man, that would be awesome—could you imagine? He'd be all like Yeah, I'm back, so suck on this, y'all and everyone would be all No way and he'd be all Way.

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Sun, 30 May 2004 14:19:58 -0800

#476 Ollie R. Ordnung. Pro: he is a pro Con: he is a con

By: kaibutsu

kaibutsu — Sun, 30 May 2004 14:31:05 -0800

Yeah, I saw this a couple days ago; Good stuff.

By: abcde

abcde — Sun, 30 May 2004 15:24:20 -0800

Thanks for sharing ;)

By: skallas

skallas — Sun, 30 May 2004 15:28:46 -0800

George Bush 41 Pro: Somewhat fiscally conservative and CIA experience could be boon for the terror issue. Bush == money. Con: 100% chance this will provoke a bad made for tv movie about a father vs a son with that damn Cat Stevens song playing every five minutes.

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Sun, 30 May 2004 16:01:10 -0800

53. A microwave oven Pros: During the debate, can turn itself on and totally zap Cheney's pacemaker. Cons: Cheney may not actually have a heart.

By: jonson

jonson — Sun, 30 May 2004 16:08:17 -0800

Hey, it turns out none of us are as funny as the people who wrote that article!

By: DyRE

DyRE — Sun, 30 May 2004 16:24:40 -0800

19. Fourteen dogs from Ohio; Ohio Pro: Everyone loves dogs, each dog could be different, like one's a mean dog and one's a cute dog and one wears glasses and looks like a computer-whiz dog, could deliver swing state Con: So many dogs could mean diluted message, can't talk

Hahaha! Good stuff.

By: squirrel

squirrel — Sun, 30 May 2004 17:47:09 -0800

Wonderful. Thanks.

By: weston

weston — Sun, 30 May 2004 18:39:31 -0800

76: Cat Stevens Pros: Peace Train would work really well for the left, Moonshadow is a camp favorite on the right. Morning is Broken would be a wicked cool inauguration anthem. Cons: Conversion to Islam could pose a slight political liability right now.

By: brownpau

brownpau — Sun, 30 May 2004 20:03:13 -0800

20. Jesus, Messiah, Nazareth ... Con: Mythical Call me a fundie killjoy, but that last punchline, "Mythical," really rubbed me the wrong way. I mean, there's this whole body of religious, historical, and literary thought to draw on, plus Jesus jokes galore, rapture-crazy followers, the whole Merovingian dynasty myth, and the best he can come up with is this one-worded, skeptical jab at the faith? It's as though he'd written, "21. Mathowie. Pro: Metafilter founder, etc. Cons: jerk." Strikes me as hamfisted and off-base. And I'd even think that if I were still an atheist. On the other hand, I'm pleased to see Ashton Kutcher receive like treatment in #17. Okay, I'll stop now.

By: skallas

skallas — Sun, 30 May 2004 20:09:19 -0800

Oversentive killjoy sounds about right. Man, some of you can't handle any criticism of your precious Jeebus.

By: brownpau

brownpau — Sun, 30 May 2004 20:39:38 -0800

Oh, don't be such a skallas. If you read carefully, it's not the fact that criticism is being leveled on Christ so much as the fact that, of all the funny, witty, informed things that could possibly be put in the "Cons:" list for a good Jesus joke, "Mythical" is pretty low on the list. I expected better of McSweeney's. That's all I have to say on that, really. It's a funny article and a good thread. I'll ruin it no further.

By: skallas

skallas — Sun, 30 May 2004 20:43:12 -0800

Dunno, mythical seemed fine to me. That's the con, he's non-existant so you really can't run with him. Also, there's something to be said about simple wit as opposed to long drawn out gags.

By: brownpau

brownpau — Sun, 30 May 2004 20:47:04 -0800

True, true. As I said, it worked with the Ashton Kutcher item.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Sun, 30 May 2004 20:51:35 -0800

I think Ann Coulter fits under "mythical" as well. She's just a parody of the right, in the same way that Tony Clifton was a parody of lounge singers.

By: BentPenguin

BentPenguin — Sun, 30 May 2004 20:52:25 -0800

This is a good list though conspicuously missing is Bill Richardson. Pro: former Cabinet secretary, U.N. ambassador, member of Congress and a Hispanic executive from the Southwest. Con: He's brown?

By: John Kenneth Fisher

John Kenneth Fisher — Sun, 30 May 2004 21:04:07 -0800

My favorite was Paul Tsongas Cons: Died in 1997

By: clevershark

clevershark — Sun, 30 May 2004 21:19:31 -0800

A con for Richardson: he's from New Mexico, so he could only bring 5 electoral votes in from a state which seems likely to go Dem anyway (it did in 2000 by a very slim margin).

By: skallas

skallas — Sun, 30 May 2004 21:34:32 -0800

How about Gore? Seriously.

By: John Kenneth Fisher

John Kenneth Fisher — Sun, 30 May 2004 21:46:58 -0800

I love Gore, but I think he'd be a bad choice this time out. Too much baggage, and too tied in with Clinton. "but we love Clinton!" say us libs, but... Moderate Republican (My dad): Hates Clinton, disappointed by Bush on the war, economy, gay rights, May abstain or vote for Kerry. If Gore gets in, no chance of a Kerry vote, may even vote Bush. Gore hurts us with him. Too small a sample to mean anything really, but I don't think my father is an isolated case. Gore deserves the office he fairly won, but let him wait to 2012 to try to claim it.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sun, 30 May 2004 21:58:56 -0800

I've got to agree with JKF. Gore is a tool, I never liked him, and this whole "yelling/screaming" thing hes doing now is just played out. I wish he'd go away.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sun, 30 May 2004 22:01:34 -0800

why is there an apostraphy in "Punk'd"? Why wouldn't the past-tense form of Punk (as a verb) simply be 'punked'?

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Sun, 30 May 2004 23:01:17 -0800

1449. Britney Spears Pro - It would be great to have a good-looking vice president. Con - She might sing.

By: scody

scody — Mon, 31 May 2004 01:39:20 -0800

delmoi: yes, yes it would. But try telling that to Ashton Kutcher.

By: brownpau

brownpau — Mon, 31 May 2004 02:27:01 -0800

0. Al Gore - Pros: Environmentally friendly, invented the Internet, won in 2000. - Cons: Not 3-Laws-safe.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Mon, 31 May 2004 02:38:13 -0800

why is there an apostraphy in "Punk'd"? It's Shakespearean!

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Mon, 31 May 2004 06:03:45 -0800

981651. Nicky Santoro from "Casino" - Pros: Actually uses a vice. Persuasive. Would probably kill entire press corps. - Cons: opposes Kyoto.

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Mon, 31 May 2004 07:16:53 -0800

this whole "yelling/screaming" thing hes doing now Gore has always done the "yelling/screaming thing"--at least as far back as the '92 campaign. It feels "new" because it doesn't jibe with how the media has trained you to think of him.

By: dagny

dagny — Mon, 31 May 2004 10:56:49 -0800

Methinks there's a bug in the GoreBot OS these days. Now he's not only resembling the unabomber on the outside anymore...

By: arto

arto — Mon, 31 May 2004 20:59:14 -0800

0. Al Gore - Pros: Environmentally friendly, invented the Internet, won in 2000. - Cons: Tipper.

By: specialk420

specialk420 — Mon, 31 May 2004 22:48:31 -0800

bill nelson - florida
you heard it here first.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Tue, 01 Jun 2004 10:17:03 -0800

bill nelson - florida you heard it here first. I'm not having some filthy astronaut one heartbeat away from the presidency.