Comments on: Vote for Braaaaaaiiiiinsssss!

Vote for Braaaaaaiiiiinsssss!

mathowie — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:11:43 -0800

Bush has a new running mate: Zombie Reagan. From the FAQ: What are some other advanatages of adding Zombie Reagan to the ticket? He will demonstrate America's resolve to continue the battle against terrorism. Instead of retreating to an undisclosed location, for instance, Zombie Reagan will be on the front lines, eating illegal combatants.

By: scarabic

scarabic — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:18:24 -0800

HFS - that's funny. Let the bloodbath begin!

By: y2karl

y2karl — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:18:32 -0800

Well, at least, you weren't beat to it by Zombie Postroad this time.

By: InfidelZombie

InfidelZombie — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:24:48 -0800

Out of the graveyards and into the streets!

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:28:31 -0800

*Something about stem cell research and brain stems that I can't quite get to gel*

By: troutfishing

troutfishing — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:40:54 -0800

The Republicans are sure to win in '04 with Zombie Reagan™ at their side. He's already devoured the brains of most of the press.

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:42:16 -0800

I can't wait to see all the Zombie Reagan Youth return along with him.

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:47:11 -0800

Heh. We begin zombing in five minutes.

By: nofundy

nofundy — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:47:40 -0800

Riding on Zombie Reagan's coffin into the White House. Sounds better than Cheney. At least a Zombie has a heart, even if it is putrid.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:51:44 -0800

My favorite part, from the FAQ: Q: Is Zombie Reagan really that much of an advantage? Doesn't John Kerry have the zombie vote locked up? A: No. John Kerry, in fact, isn't really a zombie. He is more akin to Frankenstein's Monster, built out of parts stolen from graveyards under cover of night. He simply claims to be a zombie for political advantage.

By: Durwood

Durwood — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:51:56 -0800

Golly, that sure is funny. Har har har.....

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:54:20 -0800

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:58:45 -0800

Bet y'all wish ya hadn't a given' drezdn such a hard time,now, dontcha?

By: fillsthepews

fillsthepews — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 13:03:26 -0800

So good. Thank you all for this.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 13:06:01 -0800

Wait, zombies have vampire teeth?

By: yeahyeahyeahwhoo

yeahyeahyeahwhoo — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 13:17:55 -0800

Nice! and then we'd have to call in the Governator if he got outta control to put some robotic whup-ass on him and his Zombinomics.

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 13:20:01 -0800

Wait, zombies have vampire teeth? Only republican zombies.

By: Capn

Capn — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 13:29:12 -0800

Flash: Kerry has also named a running mate

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 13:54:27 -0800

Hmmmm. We have zombies running in Canada, too. Steven Harper, for one...

By: Witty

Witty — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 13:56:09 -0800

Well done Matt.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 14:10:50 -0800

A friend came up with a great challenge to this ticket. A Kerry-Zombie Wellstone vs. Bush-Zombie Reagan would be a tough battle.

By: matteo

matteo — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 14:15:06 -0800

Ok, but just imagine a LBJ-zombie as Kerry's running mate -- that would be even funnier. in Texas especially. (LBJ was a hell of a campaigner -- if I were a consultant/strategist, ideology put aside, my ideal candidate would be a mix of LBJ and Reagan, actually. raw political instincts/sheer balls/ruthlessness + optimism/great soothing voice/the teflon thing

By: JohnR

JohnR — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 14:22:35 -0800

Dean- zombie

By: Stoatfarm

Stoatfarm — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 14:34:41 -0800

I'm not a huge fan of the late Pres. Reagan. In fact, I think he was a pretty poor president to say the least. And I personally don't think his image belongs on the dime or Mt. Rushmore...but the way to voice disagreement with those who seem to want Reagan all but canonized should not be this grim attempt at humor, especially as his family and supporters mourn. This kind of demonization will, I'm afraid, lead to a redoubling on the other side, and before you know it, bye-bye Hamilton. And that would really be a shame.

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 15:09:48 -0800

Stoatfarm, I think you're taking the shared grief bit way too seriously. My opinion, of course. And I would propose Kerry - zombie Tip O'Neill, except that Tip might tend to droop more than Kerry, and that can't be a good thing. Kerry, Zombie O'Neill, and Botox ... TRIUMVIRATE OF POWER!!!

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 15:24:09 -0800

my money's on Bush/Embryonic Stem Cell myself, but Zombie Reagan would be cool, as long as he ate every single journalist/pundit fawning over him this week.

By: jacobsee

jacobsee — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 15:27:05 -0800

kerry + zombie edwards?

By: smackfu

smackfu — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 15:45:09 -0800

Stoatfarm, it's not really anti-Reagan. It's a bit disrepectful on principle but it doesn't attack his policies or anything.

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 16:53:04 -0800

I think Bush would win for sure if he selected Son of Zombie Reagan for his running mate. He would steal the metrosexual vote from Kerry.

By: infidelpants

infidelpants — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 16:55:31 -0800

Don't blame me, I voted for Zombie Joseph Beuys.

By: fold_and_mutilate

fold_and_mutilate — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 18:27:44 -0800

Memo to Republican Party Chairman: With all this expensive shipping the flag-draped coffin back and forth across America, why not just keep it back East and wheel it out at the Republican National Convention this fall? /waits for the national GOP to unhypocritically go apeshit about the way Reagan's "long goodbye" is being used for political purposes, like the GOP did with Paul Wellstone's funeral.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 18:44:28 -0800

they'll trot out Nancy instead, and not let her speak at all, i bet.

By: pieoverdone

pieoverdone — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 19:25:56 -0800

There's always Zombie Mel Carnahan, who actually did win an office whilst dead.

By: raysmj

raysmj — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 19:40:42 -0800

Well, have you seen Bush's campaign site today?

By: matteo

matteo — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 21:14:53 -0800

"they'll trot out Nancy instead, and not let her speak at all, i bet." Just don't mention those nasty stem cells Nancy pleeeeeeeeeeeease!

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 21:17:53 -0800

i'm wondering if she's done with the issue entirely...she never seemed a person particularly concerned with the rest of humanity, and especially not during their terms.

By: moonbiter

moonbiter — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 22:02:35 -0800

A herd of zombies (or would that be a shamble of zombies?) would be more competent in the White House than the current administration. Plus they would be okay with pay cuts, and are unlikely to be buyable by corporate lobbyists or special interest groups. Vote Zombie in 2004!

By: obloquy

obloquy — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 22:48:46 -0800

Zombie!

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 22:49:23 -0800

OMG! Zombie Reagan Lives! Those bastards have reanimated him! I wonder if an alzheimer's zombie can remember that it wants brains?

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 22:50:40 -0800

(nb. link will only work for a few days.)

By: matteo

matteo — Thu, 10 Jun 2004 11:21:14 -0800

says who? (you just wait)

By: amberglow

amberglow — Thu, 10 Jun 2004 11:37:30 -0800

Zombie Reagan (brought to you by Depends™)

By: homunculus

homunculus — Thu, 10 Jun 2004 21:26:05 -0800

Reagan writes from Heaven.