Comments on: 1) Your favorite band sucks. 2) Pancakes.

1) Your favorite band sucks. 2) Pancakes.

majcher — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 08:14:17 -0800

The Two Things. "For every subject, there are really only two things you really need to know. Everything else is the application of those two things, or just not important."

By: rory

rory — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 08:28:21 -0800

Great link, majcher. The Two Things About Metafilter: 1. There have been 47 links and 345 comments posted since your last visit. 2. Nothing to see here, move along... The Two Things About MetaTalk: 1. Administrator, please hope me!!! 2. Get your own blog, fuckwit.

By: Stan Chin

Stan Chin — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 08:33:25 -0800

The Two Things about Graphic Design: 1. Elements of Design: Line, shape, texture, value & color, space 2. Principles of Design: Movement, balance, emphasis, unity That's just kind of cheating, isn't it? Here's the real two things about Graphic Design: 1. You are not an artist. 2. You work for your client.

By: fvw

fvw — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 08:35:05 -0800

Hehe,

The Two Things about Binary Systems: One: 0 Two: 1

Anyway, even though I disagree with the premise, it's a thouroughly entertaining site. Good post.

By: four panels

four panels — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 08:43:30 -0800

Here is another primitive schematization system.

By: Foosnark

Foosnark — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 09:12:04 -0800

Hmmm.... Ancient Egyptian literature refers to the (paradoxical) time before the creation of the universe as "before there were yet two things."

By: orange swan

orange swan — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 09:22:37 -0800

I loved the Micawber one, and this one: The Two Things about Pornography: 1. Cable guy, oral, oral, doggy, ass, facial. Next scene, repeat. 2. No matter how weird, someone will has a website dedicated to your fetish online.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 09:25:52 -0800

And it's funny - but one time when I asked an art classmate who happened to be an electrician if changing a light fixture was doable for someone who doesn't know anything about electrical wiring, he said, "There's only two things you need to know. Number one, turn off the current before you do anything else. Number two, match the wires by colour." He was right.

By: Grod

Grod — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 09:38:16 -0800

This one made me laugh, I don't know why: The Two Things about World Conquest: 1. Divide and Conquer. 2. Never invade Russia in the winter. -Tim Lee

By: Grod

Grod — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 09:39:51 -0800

As did this one: The Two Things about Biology: 1. Evolution is the process through which genetic structures that are better equipped to reproduce viable copies will tend to proliferate. 2. Except for the Platypus. -TheLetterM

By: mdn

mdn — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 09:47:10 -0800

This was pretty funny too: The Two Things about Web programming (as it is mostly done in the real world): 1) Control-C 2) Control-V -tikibar

By: DevilsAdvocate

DevilsAdvocate — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 10:04:14 -0800

The Two Things about chess: 1. 99% of chess is tactics. 2. The other 99% is strategy. Adapted from Richard Teichmann (#1) and David Regis (#2)

By: davidmsc

davidmsc — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 10:04:15 -0800

Excellent site - thanks.

By: banished

banished — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 10:04:27 -0800

A solid grasp of both reading and writing will cover all of those subjects, although that's not funny. Hard work rarely is.

By: scarabic

scarabic — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 10:15:55 -0800

Nice post!

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 10:18:36 -0800

The original Two Things for Economics (incentives work/there's no free lunch) probably apply wider than my Friday-addled brain can currently comprehend. I can, however, far as I can tell, remember two things at a time. My incentive is food and beer in my fridge, cable and beddy-bye, all of which are paid up. I'm totally buying into this paradigm, man.

By: badstone

badstone — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 11:43:50 -0800

The two things about PoliticsFilter 1. I'm right 2. You're wrong

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 11:55:02 -0800

"Oh," I said. "Okay, here are the Two Things about economics. One: Incentives matter. Two: There?s no such thing as a free lunch." Ouch. Who's going to inform the "progressives?"

By: languagehat

languagehat — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 15:53:53 -0800

The Two Things about Linguistics: 1. You already know more about the grammar of your native language than could ever be taught in a class. (synchronic linguistics) 2. Language change is inevitable, and neither bad nor good. (diachronic linguistics) -Neal Whitman I couldn't have said it any better.

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 16:14:12 -0800

The Two Things banished had to say about this post: 1. A solid grasp of both reading and writing will cover all of those subjects, although that's not funny. 2. Hard work rarely is.

By: dash_slot-

dash_slot- — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 18:13:19 -0800

The Two Things about Being a House Husband: 1. That can wait until tomorrow. 2. That can too. The two things about The Two Things about Being a House Husband: 1. S'funny 2. It's true.

By: abcde

abcde — Fri, 11 Jun 2004 22:28:15 -0800

There should be programming language ones. Perl: 1. There Is More than One Way To Do It 2. It's magic. C: 1. Every program, including "hello world," will produce an error when you first try to compile it. 2. The computer hates you. Smalltalk (and OO in general): 1. All data is an object 2. All actions are messages sent to objects REBOL: 1. There's a data type for everything, including shoe size and fruit ripeness. 2. Make a dialect. Tcl: 1. Everything is a string. 2. All operations are commands. COBOL: 1. I'LL CUT YOU! DIE, BITCH! 2. END IDENTIFICATION DIVISION.

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Sat, 12 Jun 2004 09:38:09 -0800

Ouch. Who's going to inform the "progressives?" The two things about Republican economics: 1. Deficits don't matter 2. Let someone else take care of the mess.

By: abcde

abcde — Sat, 12 Jun 2004 10:07:18 -0800

That sounds like Democratic economics to me :P (Democrat here btw)