All that flesh and all those chains is a recipe for disaster

June 14, 2004 12:54 PM

The World Naked Bike Rideunfortunately took place yesterday, but is probably something worth doing next year. I imagine it's a lot like Critical Mass, with less driver anger and more rider embarrassment. Sounds like it was fun in Portland. (slightly NSFW photo on the front page of WNBR)
posted by mathowie (27 comments total)

/me records mathowie's intention to ride a bike naked next year for posterity. and in case this thread gets deleted.
posted by quonsar at 1:10 PM on June 14, 2004

The World Naked Bike Ride unfortunately took place yesterday

Then today would be International Seat Sniffing Day, right?

These kind of events grate on me for some reason. Maybe it's cause I figure that most people involved are crossing stuff off on their "life experience" to do list or something.
posted by jonmc at 1:16 PM on June 14, 2004

It's more than slightly NSFW, but you'd have to scroll to get that far.
posted by callmejay at 1:18 PM on June 14, 2004

My first - and recurring - thought is, "Wouldn't this be uncomfortable?" Think about how it feels to sit on a leather/vinyl chair in shorts on a hot day. Now imagine doing it without the shorts.
posted by orange swan at 1:25 PM on June 14, 2004

bah, that's nothing. portland is all comfy and mild. try doing the same thing in the middle of the desert during a sandstorm.
posted by dvdgee at 1:31 PM on June 14, 2004

Yes, but how would you dispose of the nude bodies?
oops, wrong thread...
posted by wendell at 1:32 PM on June 14, 2004

"We saw a lot of swaying, but it wasn't of minds," he said.
posted by homunculus at 1:52 PM on June 14, 2004

Alternative titles:

Clitical Mass
Critical Ass
"Holy shit my ass is chafed."
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:53 PM on June 14, 2004

Bystander Eileen Kutscha, 30, said she might participate next week, and hoped to get inspiration for her own body art after seeing the bicyclists. While she admitted that she was still trying to work up her nerve and hoped to remain anonymous through creative use of body paint, Kutscha said it would be a chance to express herself artistically.

"It's just one of those things you have to do at least once in your life," she said.

I was right. Haha. Airheads.
posted by jonmc at 1:59 PM on June 14, 2004

Here in Chicago about two or three hundred of the Critical Mass folks met up to do a late evening nekid ride.

To lessen interference by the police a rider was stationed at the designated (and public) meeting spot to hand out flyers which announced that the WNBR had been "canceled' - sizing up the riders he would then direct them to the "real" meeting spot which was apparently at a private alleyway.

I didn't participate as I'm sort of worn out on the whole "life-without oil" activism.

Good for the folks who did though, I'm sure it was a great time...
posted by wfrgms at 2:09 PM on June 14, 2004

I figure that most people involved are crossing stuff off on their "life experience" to do list or something.

Why is that not a good enough reason? What reason would be good enough to satisfy you?
posted by jjg at 2:17 PM on June 14, 2004

These kind of events grate on me for some reason. Maybe it's cause I figure that most people involved are crossing stuff off on their "life experience" to do list or something.

[Crosses "read Metafilter for five years" off to-do list.]
posted by rory at 2:20 PM on June 14, 2004

Here in Santa Monica the po po got all in a tizzy, and escorted the riders (who didn't disrobe because of threat of arrest) with no less then 8 police bikes and at least 1 ATV. Hilarious.
posted by chaz at 2:23 PM on June 14, 2004

I think it's neat. You might want to wrap your seat in something extremely breathable, but what the hell. I'd think about doing it next year. (Jon, you can sniff my seat only after I've dismounted the bike. I'm making that rule up right now.)

Like anyone doing this is ever going to become a televangelist or run for public office or host a holier-than-thou cable show or something in the future. Please.

It's a goof. It sounds like a gas, especially the bigger the group. I say ride on, and right on.
posted by chicobangs at 2:37 PM on June 14, 2004

One word comes to mind after checking the site: Shrinkage.

Other than that, nekkid biking sounds like a hoot. When's nekkid gardening day?
posted by fenriq at 2:40 PM on June 14, 2004

Next up: Naked Segway Day.

I kid because I don't have one... a Segway, I mean!
posted by wendell at 3:03 PM on June 14, 2004

Ten bucks says a good number of these people are fat.
posted by xmutex at 3:31 PM on June 14, 2004

Why is that not a good enough reason? What reason would be good enough to satisfy you?

They are under no obligation to satisfy me. I just find that "experience collecting" shit to a big bag of yuppie pretension. This basically seems to be a fraternity prank by people old enough to know better. I see no reason to make it more than that.
posted by jonmc at 5:08 PM on June 14, 2004

I refuse to click that link. There is simply no way that anything good can come of it. No way.

On the other hand, it's better than killin' people, I guess. If you wanted to dispose of a couple of hundred naked bikers...no, wrong thread.
posted by graventy at 5:23 PM on June 14, 2004

Haven't you ever just done something for the hell of it, jon?
posted by Vidiot at 8:59 PM on June 14, 2004

Doing something just for the hell of it? Surely. Cheers.

Doing something for the doing something just for the hell of it? There, I think, 's the rub.
posted by shemol at 10:02 PM on June 14, 2004

Haven't you ever just done something for the hell of it, jon?

Anything with an international website, planned months in advance, and attached to some amorphous cause, cannot accurately be described as "just for the hell of it."
posted by jonmc at 6:24 AM on June 15, 2004

Oh, Jon. You just described your own site.

And "Just for the hell of it" is your freaking motto.
posted by chicobangs at 6:35 AM on June 15, 2004

Indeed.

And you can do something for the hell of it without being spontaneous...and planning it months in advance. (See Survival Research Laboratories.)
posted by Vidiot at 10:06 AM on June 15, 2004

I hate to think about this on upright bikes. On a recumbent it begins to sound reasonable.
posted by Zed_Lopez at 11:15 PM on June 15, 2004

There are naked bike riders every year at the Fremont Summer Solstice Parade. Some people have gotten bent out of shape about it over the years but it's part of the tradition.

Another cool part of the parade is the Art Car Blowout.

The parade is pretty cool and wonderful--it's become a cultural event in the deepest sense--and it's coming up this weekend, doggone it. I wish the solstice lasted a couple of months--this is my favorite time of year.
posted by y2karl at 11:47 PM on June 15, 2004

Let me amend that--the art car blowout is actually part of the Fremont Street Fair that happens the same weekend--the parade itself is on foot, bike and unmotorized. It's open to all who want to participate. That's the beauty of it.
posted by y2karl at 11:53 PM on June 15, 2004