Virus Inflicts James Joyce on Mobile Phone Users

June 16, 2004 11:56 AM

Bloomsday Virus Inflicts James Joyce on Mobile Phone Users
The first ever computer virus that can infect mobile phones has been discovered, anti-virus software developers said today, rendering many phones virtually useless.

The virus was apparently released in time for the 100th anniversary of the eponymous literary holiday. It infects the Symbian operating system that is used in several makes of mobiles, notably the Nokia brand, and propagates through the new bluetooth wireless technology that is in several new mobile phones.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood (19 comments total)

Ah, but my Apple Phone is completely safe.

Right?
posted by hackly_fracture at 12:01 PM on June 16, 2004

Link next to the story:
Click here for the Page Two story from 1/27, Gondor Accepted to United Nations

Before anyone gets in a tizzy, it's a joke.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:04 PM on June 16, 2004

or is it?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:07 PM on June 16, 2004

Though this is obviously a joke (although they seemed to forget the part about making jokes funny), there was indeed a mobile virus discovered by a kaspersky labs called "cabir".
posted by malphigian at 12:11 PM on June 16, 2004

The Watley Review disclaimer section says...

The Watley Review is dedicated to the production of articles completely without journalistic merit or factual basis, as this would entail leaving our chairs or actually working. Names, places and events are generally fictitious, except for public figures about which we may have heard something down at the pub. All contents are intended as parody and should be construed as such. We have no agenda other than the depletion of Uncle Zeke's whaling trust fund and the dutiful appreciation of smooth, smooth liquor. The Review is updated every Tuesday, when the hangovers wear off.

So I'd say we're on pretty safe ground declaring it a hoax.
posted by jasper411 at 12:11 PM on June 16, 2004

I knew it couldn't be true because mobile phones don't use a Microsoft OS. QED.

But for a second there, my scrotumtightened. Really. I was briefly alarmed.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:30 PM on June 16, 2004

*vomits*
posted by trharlan at 12:37 PM on June 16, 2004

When the devilishly cruel evildoer is finally caught, he should be forced to actually read Ulysses, and then Finnegan's Wake, while listening to Mason & Dixon on tape.
posted by hama7 at 12:46 PM on June 16, 2004

I knew it couldn't be true because mobile phones don't use a Microsoft OS. QED

Oh yes they do..

I have a Motrola Mpx 200 myself and it's quite spiff. You have to rate a phone with playable Doom and Nethack..
posted by Mossy at 12:47 PM on June 16, 2004

I liked Ulysses. I'm actually going to be reading excerpts in a pub downtown tonight. (The raunchy bits, mostly.)

But I couldn't get through 25 pages of Mason & Dixon. I might have just been distracted, and there might be something good in there, but damned if I felt like looking for it.

I never said I wasn't a snob. I did like Gravity's Rainbow, if that matters.
posted by chicobangs at 1:00 PM on June 16, 2004

If it were not a hoax, a virus bent on taking out mobile phones could be a worthwhile endeavor for an idle cracker.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 1:09 PM on June 16, 2004

But I couldn't get through 25 pages of Mason & Dixon.

I actually bought the brick. Now I'll always have something heavy to bludgeon an intruder with, or use as a doorstop, or as a cure for insomnia.
posted by hama7 at 1:15 PM on June 16, 2004

Okay. There really is a first of it's kind virus for mobile phones spreading via BlueTooth, that was discovered today.

This is a joke, I found funny, but apparently no one else did.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 1:17 PM on June 16, 2004

You people are crazy. I couldn't put Mason & Dixon down.
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:23 PM on June 16, 2004

Finnegan's Wake

Please assume the position while I thwap you with a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves.
posted by riviera at 1:46 PM on June 16, 2004

This is a joke, I found funny, but apparently no one else did.

I did. Thanks, Steve.
posted by homunculus at 2:18 PM on June 16, 2004

Bless you, riviera, I thought I was the only Joycean apostrophedant in the house.
posted by scody at 2:18 PM on June 16, 2004

Mason & Dixon is a terrific read. I think it's Pynchon's best work after GR, and it's easier to boot. But most people would find my reading tastes perverse.
posted by macrone at 3:52 PM on June 16, 2004

I love the Pynchon, but I too found the archaic diction and Comedy Capitalization of M&D jarring. Several forays into it, and I've still yet to get more than waist-deep.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:47 PM on June 16, 2004