This game fucking sucks

June 26, 2004 1:13 PM

Game PR Catchphrases: What They Really Mean

Quote: “Downloadable content available through our website!"
Indicates: There's going to be new levels, new maps, new everything after the game is out, making the purchase fully worth your $50.
True Meaning: We'll fix the game breaking bug about 3 weeks after the game's out, hope you guys aren't on 56K because it'll be a 186 MB patch. Also, hopefully this game will have some devoted mod/map makers, because the publisher isn't going to release shit. But there are some cool wallpapers to download!
by Corin Tuckers Stalker and Ryan "OMGWTFBBQ" Adams, from Something awful
posted by bob sarabia (13 comments total)

Lame.
posted by Quartermass at 1:47 PM on June 26, 2004

Um, why have you put mailto: links in your post? Do you want us to email them?
posted by reklaw at 2:05 PM on June 26, 2004

Wow, I've never heard of Something Awful! Truly the best of the web!!!11
posted by pieoverdone at 2:18 PM on June 26, 2004

True Meaning: Run. Run fast and hard. Move at night under the cover of darkness, and take whatever rest you can manage during the daylight hours. They purposely forgot to mention the games he created between his masterpiece and now; failures in every sense of the word that sucked because his over inflated ego led him to believe that he could make even the most ambitious and convoluted ideas work.

Take a bow, messrs Molineux and Crammond.

It's funny because it's true.
posted by salmacis at 2:54 PM on June 26, 2004

Um, why have you put mailto: links in your post? Do you want us to email them?

False dilemma.
posted by ed\26h at 3:40 PM on June 26, 2004

Could have done with editing down a bit.
posted by Orange Goblin at 4:03 PM on June 26, 2004

wtf. its like jeffk without the novelty.
posted by Satapher at 5:30 PM on June 26, 2004

Compare and contrast to the previous offering from 17372.
See Roman L Hruska on G. Harrold Carswell. 'Nuff said.
posted by y2karl at 7:30 PM on June 26, 2004

reklaw: Do you want us to email them?

Yes.

Orange Goblin: Could have done with editing down a bit.

Yes, it could have. I'm sure Bob will remember that the next time he posts a link about Game PR catchphrases from somethingawful.com, and wants to give an example.

Satapher: wtf. its like jeffk without the novelty.

It's like jeffk with grammar, in other words.
posted by whoshotwho at 7:51 PM on June 26, 2004

Roman L Hruska on G. Harrold Carswell: I will resist the temptation to post the entire content of that link in tiny type, and instead trust that interested parties will click through.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:05 PM on June 26, 2004

Oh, those poor guys...think how often the spambots are going to harvest those addresses.

Pink, that was priceless.
posted by dejah420 at 10:45 PM on June 26, 2004

Actually, I meant the article could have.
posted by Orange Goblin at 2:48 AM on June 27, 2004

yes indeedy. editing. They could have cut out that whole "this indicates" bit and just got to the punch line. Thusly:

"here's marketing hype- here's what it really means"

and then it could have been as good as a mid-80's MAD Magazine article.
posted by Miles Long at 5:39 PM on June 29, 2004