Frank N. Furter

June 28, 2004 7:55 AM

Mmmmm... girthy. "I think many people, upon seeing this ad, will avoid buying Ball Park Franks. That's pretty much the acme of terrible marketing. Alternative: I am wrong, and Ball Park has happened on a brilliant - and profitable - means of letting straight men express their sublimated homoerotic fantasies."
posted by soyjoy (77 comments total)

Art imitates... art? (Disclaimer: I know the author of this song.)
posted by soyjoy at 7:57 AM on June 28, 2004

I've seen one of the ads ("Big") on TV, but I haven't yet seen the "Girthy" ad actually aired. I watched it this morning, after reading this article, and dang, it's funny.

I think this guy is reading it all wrong. They are trying to sell hot dogs. To men. Young(ish) men. Who think stuff like this is funny. They need to distinguish their product in some way and, frankly, hot dogs that "plump" when you cook them (their traditional tack) are kind of creepy. By associating Ball Park hot dogs with excessive size (even though, next to "Frank," these dogs look positively anemic) and a funny word (if you don't think "girthy" is a funny word then you are beyond help), they're distinguishing their product from the competition (Oscar Meyer? What has the Weinermobile done for me lately?)

I don't think anyone is instinctively turned off by "girthy," except maybe this guy, who, honestly, must have some sort of insecurity about his pencil-dick. I, being a hot-dog-eating kind of guy, think this is pretty damn funny. I still won't buy Ball Park franks (only fools buy hot dogs without natural casing), but it's not because the ads make me think of man-meat.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:05 AM on June 28, 2004

It really is an amazingly awful ad. That guy reminds me of every bad neighbor I've ever had-- he probably also revs his truck late at night and gets drunk and hollers every Friday and Saturday evening.

I would sooner buy hotdogs endorsed by Buffalo Bill from "Silence of the Lambs."
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:11 AM on June 28, 2004

Here. It's not terribly funny.

Anything that might make people think twice about indulging in product made predominantly from smashed up pig's trotters and battery-chicken necks sounds positive to me. Well, maybe.
posted by ed\26h at 8:16 AM on June 28, 2004

If people really thought about what was in hotdogs (or any sausages for that matter) they wouldn't sell any.

I remember a guy I used to work with who had a jar of "Vienna Sausages" that was never opened. This was undoubtedly because of the ingredients list with started with the most predominate ingredient: Beef lips.
posted by tommasz at 8:28 AM on June 28, 2004

...revs his truck late at night and gets drunk and hollers every Friday and Saturday evening...
... Anything that might make people think twice...

Why do you guys hate America so much?
posted by uncleozzy at 8:29 AM on June 28, 2004

Soyjoy, do you eat hot dogs? With or without natural casing? ;) I think the word girthy is hysterical. But I don't want to think about penises while I eat hot dogs so there ain't no way I'm subjecting myself to big, sweaty, girthy hot dogs. Nope. Not gonna happen.

I just don't know if I'm woman enough to handle that hot dog.
posted by iconomy at 8:30 AM on June 28, 2004

Mmmmmm...... dearthy
posted by soyjoy at 8:51 AM on June 28, 2004

From the article: "But I think it's tremendously dangerous to associate your food product with something that people really don't want to digest"

Where do they suppose the penises of beef cattle actually end up? Hot dog eaters have probably swallowed more yardage of willy than a porn actress.

(Actually I'm making that up -- for all I know the sexual organs may be among the -- very few -- parts of the carcass that aren't used in products intended for human consumption.)
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:57 AM on June 28, 2004

Girth or length?
posted by caddis at 9:02 AM on June 28, 2004

Where do they suppose the penises of beef cattle actually end up?

In your dog.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:03 AM on June 28, 2004

Be Big. Be Meaty. Be Frank.

Hmm... Be Frank is clearly double-coded here, but I like the tag line.

I'm curious about the break down of female hot dog purchasers v. male hot dog purchasers. If men are more likely to purchase the cookout dogs (which is entirely plausible), wouldn't this commercial be more effective with, say, a bikini clad woman delivering the lines? Then again, a pot-bellied man behind a grill repeating "girthy" and erotically biting into a hotdog may not be best way to appeal to men, but it might get a woman's attention and prey on her desires for a more girthy Frank.
posted by shoepal at 9:06 AM on June 28, 2004

I'm curious about people who believe people wouldn't eat hot dogs if they knew what was in them (doesn't everybody hear what's in them) but believe people would still be comfortable picking the cooked flesh of a chicken off the breast bone.

Hello? How is that not as gross, at least if you're looking at it the same way you look at hot dogs.
posted by The God Complex at 9:10 AM on June 28, 2004

If men are more likely to purchase the cookout dogs (which is entirely plausible), wouldn't this commercial be more effective with, say, a bikini clad woman delivering the lines? Then again, a pot-bellied man behind a grill repeating "girthy" and erotically biting into a hotdog may not be best way to appeal to men, but it might get a woman's attention and prey on her desires for a more girthy Frank.

Don't be so heterosexist. There are some of us guys for whom girth is a beautiful thing to behold. Ahem.
posted by ChrisTN at 9:17 AM on June 28, 2004

How is that not as gross, at least if you're looking at it the same way you look at hot dogs.

I'm with you on this one. I know what's in hot dogs and still love them, picking a chicken clean though disgusts me.
posted by drezdn at 9:22 AM on June 28, 2004

Wow, this thread went downhill fast. Then again, why should I expect anything less?
posted by JeffK at 9:25 AM on June 28, 2004

ed\: thanks for the download.

This is a great discussion - some humor some insight. I think it's time for me to make a contribution to Metafilter again. This is so worth it.

The ad misses it's mark. I think they went for a hook and failed. I don't think people will be saying girthy, in some mentally challenged way, while around the office water cooler. They shot, they missed.

I don't see the homoerotism at all. If he were to rub this on his lips and have the juice run down his face I might question the purpose of the ad and begin to wonder. This is over the top acting with a hot dog.

On the incrediants issue - I know it doesn't make sense I eat chicken but would be reluctant to eat a dog. Hell, eight inch spiders are pan fried in Vietnam; they are not not not passing my lips though. I guess I am just weird that way.

Of course people who eat a quart of ice cream and pound ball park wieners as are friend in the ad just might be doing probably turns his nose up at lettuce. We all have our stomach turning foods.
posted by fluffycreature at 9:29 AM on June 28, 2004

just read the label for sausages I ate last night. Straight from Elgin Tx.

1. beef hearts
2. beef tongue trimmings (I guess the whole tongue isnt good enough for me)
3. pork (apparently enough different parts of the pig to lump it all into one catagory, which means there isnt any other part of the cow but hearts and tongue trimmnings)

yum! they are the best sausages ive ever had
posted by outsider at 9:34 AM on June 28, 2004

Ball Park Franks may be girthy, but are they meaty, beaty, big and bouncy?
posted by octobersurprise at 9:46 AM on June 28, 2004

I think the advertisers have done their job well. Those that see the homoeroticism get a chuckle, and those that don't, won't.

Anyone remember this ad? You don't even need to play it, just look at the still provided. Now THAT's blatant homoeroticism in advertising.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:51 AM on June 28, 2004

I have seen the commercial on tv. My first thought at seeing it was anger as it seems to condone being a fat slob. All I could think while viewing it was that the guy needed to head for the salad bar, and then start excersizing.'

If he is an end result of "girthy" hotdogs, then no thank you.
posted by a3matrix at 9:51 AM on June 28, 2004

This is reminiscent of one of the funnier parts of Sweet November, in which Keanu Reeves's character pitches a highly sexualized ad campaign to executives from a hot dog company, and then flips out when they reject it. Pictures can be viewed here, although from what I recall they seem to have left at least one of the more glaringly funny images out.
posted by alphanerd at 9:57 AM on June 28, 2004

The fact that this thread exists is proof enough that this is a successful ad campaign.
posted by cmdnc0 at 10:05 AM on June 28, 2004

mmmm. . . earthy.
posted by Quartermass at 10:13 AM on June 28, 2004

Homer Simpson: Yo Apu, give me the usual.

Apu: Yes, sir. One Kwik-E-Dog, one bubble gum cigar and the latest issue of Success magazine.

Homer Simpson: Mmmm. Hey, this hot dog tastes different.

Apu: Yes, I just cleaned out the machine sir, so the snack you are enjoying has not been soaking in its putrid grease.

Homer Simpson: Yeah ... but without all the grease all you can taste is the hog anus.
posted by Quartermass at 10:15 AM on June 28, 2004

It's true, girthy hot dogs lead to girthy bellys.
posted by caddis at 10:17 AM on June 28, 2004

You know what's worse? Anthropomorphic hot dogs in sneakers pouring ketchup and mustard on themselves in preparation for you to eat them. Or hotdoggy dog couture.
posted by brownpau at 10:22 AM on June 28, 2004

My first thought at seeing it was anger as it seems to condone being a fat slob.

This is the American Way, in case you haven't noticed. It's all about excess, baby. Look at Hungry Man XXL meals. Advertised (by professional wrestler Booker T) as "a pound and a half of BBQ chicken, ribs, and buttery mashed potatoes," it's about the most food you can fit in your microwave. Ball Park isn't trying to get us to eat healthy, they're trying to get us to eat hot dogs, which, as many have pointed out, are mostly fat and old boots. A big, fat dude who's psychotically happy about girthy hot dogs -- especially one who gets us talking like this -- is a Good Thing™.

And all you haters probably don't buy hot dogs anyway, so saying "this guy is gross" or "these ads are gross" is silly. They're not trying to win hot dog converts, they're trying to win Oscar Meyer converts.
posted by uncleozzy at 10:23 AM on June 28, 2004

Anthropomorphic hot dogs in sneakers pouring ketchup and mustard on themselves

Wow. Thanks, brownpau - that's a great one. Especially the way the bottom of it sticks out of the bun and touches the ground, like some kind of enormous, um, weiner. Maybe it's just me, eh?
posted by soyjoy at 10:30 AM on June 28, 2004

speaking of the big american man syndrome:

Last week in Hawaii I notices at several tourist stores that the smaller men's shirts (sizes S, M) were labeled exclusively in Japanese and the Larger ones (L through, I kid you not, 5XL) exclusively in English. V confusing for the smallish American guy.
posted by jmgorman at 10:36 AM on June 28, 2004

Sorry, ChrisTN. I wasn't intentionally being heterosexist. I apologize for dismissing the idea that the girthy dog (and ad) might be targeted at homosexual men.

Is this the ad that will shepherd in homocentric/hetero-ambiguous advertising?
posted by shoepal at 11:38 AM on June 28, 2004

It's all about excess, baby.

Or Ball Park Franks' ad agency thinks so. One of their 2001 commercials depicts a big guy with holding his girlfriend's purse in a women's clothing store while the narrator says "At least you can eat like a man."

What's interesting to me is how both ads first problematize traditional notions of masculinity, then reassert them by associating masculinity with, basically, oral gratification. The message isn't exactly homoeroticism, though that subtext is always there, it's more like an identification of manhood with a perpetual Freudian Oral Stage.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:48 AM on June 28, 2004

Is it just me, or does that guy in the commercial look like he's about to throw up? I have a feeling he was on his 50th hotdog by the time he did the take they used for that spot.
posted by internal at 11:51 AM on June 28, 2004

[inevitable]

Well, they do plump when you cook 'em, after all...
posted by jonmc at 12:08 PM on June 28, 2004

Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?
posted by ed\26h at 12:08 PM on June 28, 2004

I wonder if tubby could handle this kind of girth oh and it is only 99 cents.
posted by Cool Alex at 12:16 PM on June 28, 2004

Those dogs look boiled. Which is just wrong.
posted by jonmc at 12:21 PM on June 28, 2004

octobersurprise - Ball Park has a new agency now, TBWA\Chiat\Day, who also bring you those Apple/iPod ads we all love so much. (The 2001 ad was from Leo Burnett.)
posted by Guy Smiley at 12:24 PM on June 28, 2004

It's easy. Ballpark has concluded based on extensive market research that all guys who fall in the Frank mold(Straight Talking, Straight Shooting, Straight fucking, backyard barbecuing, Michael Moore Hating, Rummy Loving, domestic beer drinking, Reality TV watching, Walmart Shopping) are closet homos.
posted by prodigalsun at 12:28 PM on June 28, 2004

I went and ate hotdogs for lunch, just out of spite. I hope some of you feel spited upon.
posted by The God Complex at 12:30 PM on June 28, 2004

I like the ads, they make me smile a bit even if they do nothing for the chances I'll buy a ball park frank.

As for the supposedly latent homo-eroticism. I don't think that's what they were going for but its there, I think more of a joke than anything else if they meant anything by it at all.

But it is weird how they show him grilling the dogs and then, when he goes to eat them, they're pretty obviously boiled. Besides, only gay people boil their dogs, real men cook over open flames. Or, at least that's what I think the commercial is telling me.
posted by fenriq at 12:35 PM on June 28, 2004

I had two hot dogs and a hot italian sausage yesterday.

I say we got us a movement, TGC.

Besides, only gay people boil their dogs, real men cook over open flames.

Actually, this is how real hot dogs are cooked, at the best hot dog stand in the world.
posted by jonmc at 12:40 PM on June 28, 2004

Now this looks good: From jonmc's link.

I had two hot dogs and a hot italian sausage yesterday.

I say we got us a movement, TGC.

In the bowels? *rimshot!*
posted by The God Complex at 12:48 PM on June 28, 2004

In the bowels? *rimshot!*

well, the funnelcakes, beer, and fries will probably prevent that

[tip your waitress, we're here all week]

TGC, I do not exaggerate when I say that SDW makes the best hot dog on earth. and he makes his own kraut, his own chili, and his own relish. The fries and grilled cheese are superlative too. Everytime the mrs. visits her mom, I have her bring me home two with chili/cheese/bacon/kraut/mustard.

*reverie*
posted by jonmc at 12:53 PM on June 28, 2004

Some would argue deep frying is the way to go.
posted by Cool Alex at 12:56 PM on June 28, 2004

If I'm ever down that way you can be sure I'll try one (or two, or three...)
posted by The God Complex at 12:58 PM on June 28, 2004

Fairfield, eh? Maybe I'll stop there next time I'm driving to NY. Thanks, jonmc.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:01 PM on June 28, 2004

Other's do both, cool alex.

Connecticut, while a cultural void in many ways, is great for franks, for some reason.
posted by jonmc at 1:03 PM on June 28, 2004

PBS did Dogs around the country a while back. (featuring Gray's Papaya, The Varsity, Pinks, and more)
posted by shoepal at 1:18 PM on June 28, 2004

jonmc, I need a pepcid just to look at the page
posted by Cool Alex at 1:28 PM on June 28, 2004

I got a real chuckle out of this dumb commercial, and the Slate commentary... especially in light of the fact that an earlier ad in this series contained the following bit of brilliant dialogue...

"I believe that vegetarians are not only weird, but maybe, maybe un-American."

That commercial didn't get much airtime. But still, fuck you, Frank.
posted by cratchit at 1:46 PM on June 28, 2004

I am wrong, and Ball Park has happened on a brilliant - and profitable - means of letting straight men express their sublimated homoerotic fantasies."
Like a Janet Jackson moment for advertising?
posted by thomcatspike at 1:47 PM on June 28, 2004

Whoops, forgot to mention this Nutmeg State Frank shrine which I used to live around the corner from. My mom used to go there when she was pregnant with me, I'm told.

Ok, done with the boosterism.
posted by jonmc at 1:52 PM on June 28, 2004

I'm gettin the vapors with all you boys talking about your dogs.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:54 PM on June 28, 2004

From jonmc's "franks" link: "For the sake of the picture, we left this Swanky Frank temporarily undressed. Note how taut the skin is. Straight from its hot-oil bath, it is ready to burst open at first bite."

There's just no getting away from it, is there?
posted by soyjoy at 2:04 PM on June 28, 2004

< tmi>

MrsMoonPie's family euphemism for flatulence is "frank." So I get great pleasure every time I see that word used in food-product advertising. Even better, though, is in the Pepcid (I think) ad where the guy is bemoaning his gastric issues, listing among them "franks, heavy on the mustard." Kills me every time.

< /tmi>
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:32 PM on June 28, 2004

>Or Ball Park Franks' ad agency thinks so. One of their 2001 commercials depicts a big guy with holding his girlfriend's purse in a women's clothing store while the narrator says "At least you can eat like a man."

>I'm curious about the break down of female hot dog purchasers v. male hot dog purchasers3.

Do you have children? Heck they eat them raw...bet more woman purchase Oscar Meyer’s wimpy wieners. Because of the size. Note; regarding children - BP Franks may be too big for them getting their teeth over. Which also makes the seller’s market smaller, which add why larger guys may be the target.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:46 PM on June 28, 2004

I'm gettin the vapors with all you boys talking about your dogs.

Ah do declare!
posted by The God Complex at 3:24 PM on June 28, 2004

That commercial didn't get much airtime. But still, fuck you, Frank.
Which dog is Frank?
posted by thomcatspike at 4:19 PM on June 28, 2004

wont somebody think of the children?
posted by Satapher at 4:35 PM on June 28, 2004

heteroterrorists.
posted by Satapher at 4:39 PM on June 28, 2004

What a bunch of weenies.
posted by wendell at 5:33 PM on June 28, 2004

Perhaps they are trying to broaden their market into the gay community? I think the ad is more purposefully ambiguous than gay/straight. There was a simlar campaign in Australia that tread that ground and the secondary commentary such as this thread was probably more successful at making the product a "household name" than the actual ad.
posted by mary8nne at 6:04 PM on June 28, 2004

oh and everyone knows Hot Dogs are made of offal. but whats wrong with that, we have been indoctrinated to think that the only edible part of an animal looks like a perfect steak... If they didn't taste good you wouldn't eat 'em.
posted by mary8nne at 6:07 PM on June 28, 2004

I went and ate hotdogs for lunch, just out of spite. I hope some of you feel spited upon.
*cleans spite off cheek*

I am often surprised that the term Little Boys is still an acceptable description for miniature sausages, given the current social climate.
posted by dg at 7:05 PM on June 28, 2004

You beat me to it, Cool Alex, I was going to mention the 16 inch dogs at the Westward Ho. Nothing's funnier after a night of drinking and losing money than seeing one of the employees pull out what looks like a huge, quivering double dong. Even when they cut it in half it's still two porn stars worth of meat. And the girth, the girth!
posted by TungstenChef at 8:44 PM on June 28, 2004

Ad or no ad -- I still can't eat a hot dog after seeing the "let's go to the hot dog factory!" segment from the infamous Kids Show.
posted by Down10 at 2:30 AM on June 29, 2004

I'm with uncleozzy, way back at the top of the thread. Part of the joy of temp work is the fact that I get to experience a variety of workplace environments. Recently, for instance, I worked at a trash disposal company, in the maintenance office next to the break room, which means I got to hang out with the garbage truck drivers quite a bit. Let me tell you, they are about as blue-collar and straight as you can get, but they do not shy away from humor with an ironic homoerotic subtext.

Sure, there may be a bit of innuendo in this hot dog ad. So what? In my opinion, it's a pretty baseless assumption that this is going to repel the straight white working-class male demographic, rather than make them roar with laughter.
posted by skoosh at 3:01 AM on June 29, 2004

Sometimes a hotdog is just a hotdog.
posted by yhbc at 4:43 AM on June 29, 2004

Girt is a funnier word than girthy.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:51 AM on June 29, 2004

And don't forget that the faggot is closely related to the frank.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:58 AM on June 29, 2004

Let me tell you, they are about as blue-collar and straight as you can get, but they do not shy away from humor with an ironic homoerotic subtext.

Skoosh is right. I've seen the luggiest of lugs play grabass with eachother, joke about eachothers dicks and being eachothers girlfreinds and the like. Believe it or not, they have heard of homosexuality. It's worked it's way into the fabric of our culture. And I'd argue this is a good thing.
posted by jonmc at 6:22 AM on June 29, 2004

lug = lesbian until graduation
posted by shoepal at 6:37 AM on June 29, 2004

I've seen the luggiest of lugs play grabass with eachother, joke about eachothers dicks and being eachothers girlfreinds and the like.

Uh, yeah. I'd say it takes somewhat of a Pollyanna view of the world (which I don't usually associate with you, jonmc) to infer that these antics, which I'm also familiar with from my previous workplaces, represent some kind of acceptance, rather than fear, of homosexuality. It's not as though "straight" boys weren't "joking" about others' dicks and "jokingly" calling each other homos before Stonewall.
posted by soyjoy at 7:28 AM on June 29, 2004

soyjoy, I don't deny that there's still homophobia (in all kinds of places) but there's at least a grudging acceptance of homosexuality in straight white slob land starting to emerge. They aren't running of to Pride Marches, but there's a certain level of shrugging at gayness at this point happening. And there's also the somewhat more problematic "gay vs. fag" syndrome, where there's an aversion to steretypical effeminate metrosexual gays since it represents an anathema to the slob lifestyle, but "regular guy" gays are more or less accepted, at least in theory.

I'm not being pollyanna here, just saying that a) I have no clue what these antics "represents" but that I doubt that it's as cut and dried as simple homophobia anymore.
posted by jonmc at 7:52 AM on June 29, 2004

jonmc, I think you would find that those same "regular guys" would never consider joking around like that with a gay man, while they will happily make all sorts of sexual innuendo with females. This behaviour is based on their solid belief that neither them or any of their friends are anything but rampantly heterosexual. To believe that this behaviour implies any sort of acceptance of homosexuality is, I think, hopeful to say the least.
posted by dg at 3:14 PM on June 29, 2004

"oral gratification" is funnier than girthy, they should talk about that in an ad.
posted by pekar wood at 4:37 AM on June 30, 2004