Comments on: The Too-Much-Information Age?

The Too-Much-Information Age?

rcade — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 06:52:24 -0800

A longtime Jacksonville weblogger normally devoted to wonky subjects like his blogging software made a frank public admission on his weblog recently: "I had an affair with another woman. My wife was a severe depressive and I was uncaring and unfeeling towards her when she needed me the most."

By: angry modem

angry modem — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:15:07 -0800

Don't people do shit like this in their livejournals all the time?

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:15:49 -0800

I hate that confessional shit. Tell it your wife, not the neighbors.

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:18:11 -0800

What a douchebag. First he breaks his marriage vows, then he puts his and his wife's personal matters up for all the world to see. What a douchebag.

By: y6y6y6

y6y6y6 — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:22:14 -0800

"What a douchebag." Right. Someone you've never met is a douchebag because of circumstances you know almost nothing about.

By: lotsofno

lotsofno — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:25:02 -0800

if you think that's noteworthy, this is just insane.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:25:31 -0800

It's bad enough the guy spilled his guts to the world about it, but I don't think it needed to be put on the front page of what amounts to the New York Times of the Internet. Unless, you know, he was a politician.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:28:39 -0800

[swaggart] I have sinned against you! [/swaggart]

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:30:46 -0800

y6y6y6, he cheated on his wife. What more do I need to know? That makes him a douchbag in my eyes. Then he put it on his website in some sort of pathetic Jimmy Swaggert cry for sympathy. What a douchbag.

By: rcade

rcade — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:33:30 -0800

I posted the link here because the conscious decision to blog your life publicly, at one of your worst moments, is a provocative one. I don't understand why people do this. I've been reading his weblog for many years. He's a weblog software developer, so I don't think it's likely he will be surprised that the weblog entry drew attention beyond his circle of friends. That's how the Web works.

By: naxosaxur

naxosaxur — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:41:29 -0800

Isn't this simply an extrapolation of the daytime talk show phenomenon of the 90's (think Montel/Ricki Lake) where people would publicly surprise their significant others' with grandiose, hurtful confessions? Time simply marches on, and the inappropriate methods people choose to pervert human relationships is now in the form of: blogs.

By: Blue Stone

Blue Stone — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:43:27 -0800

"... [H]e cheated on his wife. What more do I need to know? What it's like living day in and day out with a severe depressive spouse, perhaps?

By: the fire you left me

the fire you left me — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:50:16 -0800

Marriage is for cheaters.

By: biffa

biffa — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:50:33 -0800

"Cheer up love, at least one of us is getting some."

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:52:50 -0800

Isn't this simply an extrapolation of the daytime talk show phenomenon of the 90's ... Complete with "audience members" who feel the need to show everyone how much better they are than these pathetic losers.

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:53:48 -0800

HOW-IE HOW-IE woo woo woo!

By: jonson

jonson — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 07:58:13 -0800

Right. Someone you've never met is a douchebag because of circumstances you know almost nothing about. I'm okay with that, y6. I mean, I frequently respond negatively to people's comments here (yours included) without knowing them as individuals, or what their personal situation is, and others here have done the same (yourself included).

By: rocketman

rocketman — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:02:09 -0800

Jonson you're a big asshole and I hate you.

By: Nelson

Nelson — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:03:45 -0800

I don't find it too strange that this guy would blog his cheating on his wife. He clearly feels guilty, he came clean with his wife, and now he's seeking absolution by confessing his sin to the congregation. OK, I get that. What freaks me out are the comments labeled "Ugh" and "lysol", all arguing back with this guy and his wife about how they're handling the situation wrong. As if by confessing his sin publically everyone else is entitled to express their opinion publically. Even "BJD" and "aj"'s comments of support are creepy to me.

By: konolia

konolia — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:06:12 -0800

Severe depressive, huh? So would the affair have been okay if she had CANCER? Yes, I am angry. Marriage is not and is not supposed to be "he or she makes me delirously happy ALL THE DANG TIME." There is a reason the vows contain the phrase "for better or for worse." If you can't deal with that, don't get married.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:15:07 -0800

As if by confessing his sin publically everyone else is entitled to express their opinion publically. He's not just confessing publicly, he's confessing publicly with a message board attached. He and his wife clearly want the attention and there's always an audience of self-righteous blowhards ready to give it to them. It's a win-win situation.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:17:53 -0800

I don't think it's likely he will be surprised that the weblog entry drew attention beyond his circle of friends. of course not. the douchebag counted on it.

By: rushmc

rushmc — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:27:48 -0800

Confession may not be good for the soul, but it is clearly established that it is good for the ego. "Surely only someone of importance could have transgressed so dramatically!" There is nothing more tedious than people's self-absorption with their weaknesses.

By: tcobretti

tcobretti — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:28:47 -0800

I remember when Me-fi was still cool. The FPP is interesting, but the comments, as usual, suck. Thank god we've got something new to argue about today!

By: KathyK

KathyK — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:35:36 -0800

Check out one of his earlier posts and subsequent comments.

By: SweetJesus

SweetJesus — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:49:32 -0800

Everyone wants to be a fucking celebrity....

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 09:02:27 -0800

If you can't deal with that, don't get married. Or: get married, cheat or be cheated on, then get divorced. People can do that, too, if they want to. Stop telling people how to live their lives.

By: konolia

konolia — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 09:09:40 -0800

jpoulos, marriage vows are just that-VOWS. Not that anyone gives a crap about that anymore...

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 09:30:02 -0800

Oh please. Like this society invented adultery. The world you long for doesn't exist, konolia. It never did.

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 09:38:31 -0800

Personally, I think the wife made him put details of the affair onto his weblog. She found out about it, he asked her what he could do to make it up, and she told him that for a start he could tell his internet buddies just what an insensitive bastard he really was.

By: KathyK

KathyK — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 09:47:37 -0800

Here's my guess: Jeff Emilita D

By: soundofsuburbia

soundofsuburbia — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 09:52:22 -0800

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's been 16 days since my last blog.

By: terrapin

terrapin — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 10:11:22 -0800

get married, cheat or be cheated on, then get divorced. People can do that, too, if they want to. Well, the straight people can.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 10:18:40 -0800

Marriage is not and is not supposed to be "he or she makes me delirously happy ALL THE DANG TIME." Actually, th' wife and I did make this one of our custom vows: "Do you promise to always be amusing or provide amusement, no matter what?" We blow so much money on clowns...

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 10:35:20 -0800

of course not. the douchebag counted on it. Agree with quonsar. Since his wife backed his comments. Think their plan is revealed in his statement. As it sounded like you are hearing it first, even before the wife.

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 10:55:40 -0800

get married, cheat or be cheated on, then get divorced. People can do that, too, if they want to. Well, the straight people can. You don't have to be straight in a legal partnership. This is how some gay couples legally become married.

By: theora55

theora55 — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 11:17:43 -0800

Well, if she wasn't depressed enough to begin with, Jeff's confession will help add to her depression. What a creep. Bad enough to screw around, then he gets all confessional and dumps it on his wife in the name of honesty. He should've kept his mouth shut. zipper, too.

By: lotsofno

lotsofno — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 11:34:46 -0800

because i'm a jerk, and like playing detective batman, here are pictures of those involved, based on KathyK's guess. Jeff Emilita (pregnant) D now you have a face to go along with the judging.

By: beth

beth — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 11:53:07 -0800

The wife sounds like a doormat: You're right, I deserve better. But I've invested the best years of my life in this marriage, and I can't help but feel responsible for driving Jeff into the arms of another woman, so I'm going to give Jeff another chance (actually his third!). Then again, for a severe depressive, this probably makes sense somehow.

By: KathyK

KathyK — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 12:04:29 -0800

That's Junior Detective, lotsofno. I find cheating to be an interesting subject. I'm with rcade on this - why would you want to make such a personal subject so public? Since much of his previous posts were on his software and driving offenses, doesn't it seem odd that you'd throw in a "hey-there-cheated-on-my-wife" post?

By: Ogre Lawless

Ogre Lawless — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 12:40:41 -0800

I'm with rcade on this - why would you want to make such a personal subject so public? I don't find this all so weird, really. This particular entry on this particular blog is unusual, but can you say the phonomenon is? Myself, when I'm writing (even for the Internet), I'm not exactly imagining who all is going to be reading it. For the time I write it, its a dialog between myself and the hardware or perhaps the nebulous ether in which all the software runs. As for the venue for this particular message, perhaps Rogers and other regulars can say if a "look at meeeeee" posting is out of character but if you've developed this relationship with your writing where you are expressive with it rather than communication with individuals, when its time to get something that's been no doubt riding you for some time off your chest, to whom would you turn?

By: rcade

rcade — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 13:25:23 -0800

I know the author of 15 October through his weblog, though I believe we've exchanged an e-mail or two by virtue of blogging from the Jacksonville area longer than almost anyone else. I most strongly associate his site with entries about his young child, programming, and pet peeves. I don't fault him for using his weblog in any manner he likes, but to me, reading about his situation out of the blue was comparable to a casual new acquaintance level-jumping your friendship by asking you to help him move.

By: dejah420

dejah420 — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 14:17:10 -0800

I feel most sorry for the wife...because she seems to feel like she doesn't deserve any better...and that's just heartbreaking.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 15:01:06 -0800

comparable to a casual new acquaintance level-jumping your friendship by asking you to help him move. in other words, this entire thread is about as relevant as a seinfeld episode.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 15:02:32 -0800

rcade: the new miguel

By: onlyconnect

onlyconnect — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 16:56:51 -0800

I do think that now more than ever we know intimate details of one another's lives through telecommunications, blogs, the media, etc. And yet even with all that, and all this, there are still so many dirty little secrets we all keep from one another.

By: rushmc

rushmc — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 17:17:10 -0800

Voyeurism demands exhibitionists.

By: t r a c y

t r a c y — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 17:21:36 -0800

now you have a face to go along with the judging. nothing like a few photos to bring home the unsexy mundanity of it all. there are still so many dirty little secrets we all keep from one another. thank kittens ! now let's try and keep it that way.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 19:11:05 -0800

i know someone who's been posting the most intimate details of her life online for 10 years ... this isn't new ... and after meeting her this year, i started doing the same thing why? ... my best explanation is this ... the 4th and 5th steps of 12 step programs are to make a fearless moral inventory of yourself and to share it with someone ... it's a means of personal and spiritual growth ... if it's done right, you will find out things about yourself in the process ... and the other person, if she's really good, will pick up on things that you missed is it exhibitionism? ... was kerouac or proust an exhibitionist? ... yes, my friend and i are literary strivers ... isn't there some kind of truth to life that can't be spoken any other way unless someone is willing to talk about their life fearlessly and honestly? i won't judge jeff for his affair ... but i will say this ... the problem isn't that he talked about his affair ... the real problem is ... he hasn't talked ENOUGH about it ... what was going on in his head while he was doing this ... what made him want to do it ... all he's done here is a cheap show of confession it's not a REAL confession by any means

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 19:16:30 -0800

Blogger reveals intimate detail of his life online. Film at 11. There is nothing more tedious than people's self-absorption with their weaknesses. posted by rushmc at 10:27 AM CST on July 29 Is that an original quote rushmc? It is quite good and I intend to borrow it.

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 20:37:44 -0800

I lived in Jacksonville aaaaaaand i believe it.

By: rushmc

rushmc — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 22:22:45 -0800

was kerouac or proust an exhibitionist? Yes. Is that an original quote rushmc? It is quite good and I intend to borrow it. Yes, and feel free, Ynoxas. I prefer the "voyeurism" one, myself. ;)

By: sixdifferentways

sixdifferentways — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 23:09:10 -0800

It's seems rather a strange and personal thing to post. Yet I say live and let live. While I don't condone his infidelity, since for one it was obviously hurtful to his wife, I also don't think the people judging him so harshly have a right to do so. You don't know the whole story. Clinical depression is a serious problem you may not understand if you have never experienced being very close to someone with it. It is, in fact, a disease that could indeed be as detrimental as cancer, though in a totally different way. Again, I'm not totally defending the bloke, but living with a clinically depressed partner can lead to a set of circumstances totally different than other illnesses. People may not always choose the best ways to cope, but realise he was probably on some level very effected by his wife's illness - and this can cause people to look for and do things they may not in any other situation.

By: halonine

halonine — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 23:42:42 -0800

The voyeurism one was also excellent, rushmc. Two in one day! You're on fire.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Fri, 30 Jul 2004 06:49:36 -0800

Yes, and feel free, Ynoxas. I prefer the "voyeurism" one, myself. ;) posted by rushmc at 12:22 AM CST on July 30 Well, I just loved the irony of the other one, as the self-absorption is itself a weakness. Very elegant really. For serious bloggers, their blog sometimes becomes their preferred form of expression. I don't think it seems nearly as odd to the author as it does to many of those here. And as far as it being an attention getting device, I figure attention whoring is self-evident for bloggers. It is their raison d'etre, no? (on preview, I find it amusing neither blog nor bloggers is in the metafilter spell checker, nor the word metafilter)

By: SenshiNeko

SenshiNeko — Fri, 30 Jul 2004 16:51:40 -0800

So would the affair have been okay if she had CANCER? Only if you're Newt Gingrich.