..and Oh Sherry by Steve Perry wasn't even mentioned!

July 31, 2004 1:43 AM

The Top 50 Worst Guitar Solos (revisited).On Jimmy Page's solo in Radioactive: He pieces together an angular, steely synth-guitar catastrophe that probably only the eunuchs in Yes could warm up to. And Angus Young's solo on "Ballbreaker": Take away the hyperactive Chuck Berry duckwalking and frantic head- bobbing and you're left with some extremely constipated rockabilly soloing. And what the fuck is these guys' fixation with men's genitalia all about, anyway? [more inside]
posted by KevinSkomsvold (54 comments total)

My apologies if this has appeared before. The article came out in 1998 and PFM reposted it.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:44 AM on July 31, 2004

43. "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd
Soloist: David Gilmour
Album: The Wall
Year: 1979

I once thought this was a pretty impressive guitar solo. Then I read somewhere that Gilmour painstakingly sliced up a few different versions of the solo, and meticulously pieced them together in the studio. Okay, maybe you need a few takes to get it right, but this is preposterous. After all, what are we dealing with here? Rock 'n' roll or gene- splicing?

Aww, man, the fact that this is from 1998 totally ruins all the comments I had ready about this guy's reaction upon discovering Pro Tools. From the current state of music recording, one would have to say that Gilmour was ahead of his time.
posted by TungstenChef at 2:32 AM on July 31, 2004

i've heard most of these and they don't have any business being on a worst solo list ... anyone who thinks that dave gilmour was doing something unusual for his time doesn't know how records were made then ... the solo eric does on the live version of "let it rain" is amazingly intense ... the drum solo was very unnecesary of course ... i never liked styx but even i have to admit that's a good break on renegade ... the live version of "sweet jane" may be bombastic, but it's classic bombast ... and i can't believe he thinks the slide guitar on "tush" is awful

the solo on "cold blooded" IS awful, though ... i would like to nominate grand funk's "locomotion" for this list, however ... and if he thinks the 3 guitar attack of lynerd skynerd was bad, he clearly doesn't remember black oak arkansas ... and vanilla fudge's "break song" is the defintion of pointless, awful jamming
posted by pyramid termite at 4:58 AM on July 31, 2004

Where's the Top 50 Best Guitar Solos?
posted by bwg at 5:00 AM on July 31, 2004

This article would be better titled "50 Guitar Solos I don't Like, But Taste Is Subjective"
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:15 AM on July 31, 2004

This guy is a wanker.
posted by swift at 6:10 AM on July 31, 2004

This article would be better titled "50 Guitar Solos I don't Like, But Taste Is Subjective"

If people had to preface every little thing about their thoughts on music with 'Taste is subjective, BUT", it wouldn't make for good drunken music discussion at parties, would it?
posted by angry modem at 6:13 AM on July 31, 2004

i'm surprised at the sheer amount of pitchfork-friendly bands that made the list...the clash? motorhead? zappa? bowie side project tin machine? really?
posted by pxe2000 at 6:26 AM on July 31, 2004

I don't agree with this list, of course I rarely agree with Pitchfork Media, but come on "Dazed & Confused"'s solo should not be on that list.
posted by riffola at 6:35 AM on July 31, 2004

pitchfork is completely retarded.
posted by oliver_crunk at 6:39 AM on July 31, 2004

it wouldn't make for good drunken music discussion at parties

No, but a "good" guitar solo is so subjective and has 0 fixed, knowable quality points that the list simply becomes an excuse to mention songs you don't like.
posted by yerfatma at 6:48 AM on July 31, 2004

As far as it goes, the only bad guitar solo by a major mainstream band I can think of off hand is in "Party Girl" by U2 (off Under a Blood Red Sky). As far as the rest of them go, the masturbatory flights of fancy in "Dazed and Confused" and "Do you Feel Like We Do" might not be my brand of vodka, but that doesn't make them bad.
posted by psmealey at 6:53 AM on July 31, 2004

I was only skimming the list, but I was nevertheless relieved to see that Doors guitarist Robby Krieger (a fave of mine) apparently escaped unscathed.
posted by alumshubby at 7:02 AM on July 31, 2004

OBTW, so you'll have a point of reference for this juicy piece of polemics...the 100 Greatest Guitar Solos.
posted by alumshubby at 7:08 AM on July 31, 2004

a few thoughts: first of all, the solo in freebird just rules. it just rules. it sounds good and it makes you feel good to listen to it. can this truth not unify the nerds and the steakheads?

second of all, hot for teacher is basically a solo, and it's awesome too.

third of all, has anyone else noticed that guitar noise breakdowns are the new solo? see: a ghost is born by wilco, hail to the theif by radiohead.

fourth of all, headless guitars/basses are just YUCK!
posted by mcsweetie at 7:27 AM on July 31, 2004

That top 20 on the "100 Greatest..." looks more like a list of the flashiest guitar solos of all time. For my money, George Harrison's break on "Something" is the most elegant guitar solo ever recorded.

Not to take the piss out of flashy guitar solos, but I've never been partial to songs like "Stairway" and "Freebird" where the break is thematically and structurally a completely different tune from theme. Just because you resolve back to the theme after 10 minutes of wanking/jamming doesn't make it work any better. That's probably more a criticism of song structure than soloing, but I've always held that a solo should somehow forward or reinforce the theme on the song (even if it does so by counterpoint), otherwise there's really no point to it.

Again... it's music, so it's all subjective. But I'd rather have 10 Andy Summers and George Harrisons over one Eric Johnson or Stevie Ray Vaughan... or to put it another: I prefer guitarists with good taste to those that taste good.
posted by psmealey at 8:05 AM on July 31, 2004

If you want a more funny and insightful version of this kind of writing, be sure to check out this book. The authors affectionately but brutally take on sacred cows without coming off as excessively snotty Cat Power fans (as Pitchfork is known to)
posted by inksyndicate at 8:08 AM on July 31, 2004

Not only is this guy an asshat, but his criticisms are clearly chosen at random strictly for the sake of critiquing something.
He isn't paid for this, I hope.
posted by dong_resin at 8:27 AM on July 31, 2004

the worst 50 guitar solos ever emanated from neil young, and consist at any given moment of the last 50 times he "played" an electric guitar.

as for the best, well, there's just too much out there to choose. just off the top of my head: most everything jimmy page did is a drunken wank, but he did manage to squeeze off some exceedingly cool and clever shit in the fadeout soloing on 'black dog'. guest guitarist steve lukather's soaring solo which caps off the tubes 'talk to ya later' is excellently constructed and near perfect for the piece.
posted by quonsar at 8:27 AM on July 31, 2004

oh, and in re the title: steve perry wasn't a guitarist.
posted by quonsar at 8:30 AM on July 31, 2004

This guy doesn't know music, he just: a.) has bad taste, b.) includes classic tunes just to piss people off, and c.) tries to be SO "well-rounded" and "knowledgeable" about the history of rock that when he names people like Frank Zappa and Andy Summers' work with Fripp, it just comes across as forced and silly.

And anyone who calls Jeff Beck overrated is an idiot.
posted by braun_richard at 8:43 AM on July 31, 2004

I love the solo in "Cinnamon Girl."
posted by swift at 8:47 AM on July 31, 2004

a few thoughts: first of all, the solo in freebird just rules. it just rules. it sounds good and it makes you feel good to listen to it. can this truth not unify the nerds and the steakheads?

Yes.

*hugs mcsweetie*

The main problem with this list is it's written by people who don't seem to like guitar solos in general. The idea of someone considering the solos in "I love Rock and Roll" and "Willie The Pimp" to be bad boggles my mind. Although I'd have to say that I always hated Andy Summers' sol in "Don't Stand So Close To Me," for some reason, though I do like the Police.

This critique of .38 Special is especially grating: More dreadful Allman Brothers/ Skynyrd- influenced pop-rock. These wide- assed southern boys were nicer and more polished than Skynyrd, but unfortunately had much the same approach to solos Actually what made the Special a good band was exactly that; they retained the Southern Rock feel with a more pop touch and les self indulgence which is why "What If I'd Been The One" and others hold up today.

I suppose I can at least be thankful that he didn't include Mike Bloomfield's solo on "Like A Rolling Stone" or Springsteen's on "Jungleland."
posted by jonmc at 8:49 AM on July 31, 2004

Ugh, a list of the 50 worst guitar solos of all time and they don't even mention the solo from The Dead Milkmen's "Punk Rock Girl"? Like okay maybe because it's terrible on purpose it doesn't count but it's so irritating it really sets a standard for bad guitar solos.
posted by bobo123 at 8:53 AM on July 31, 2004

Alsao, while a good solo is nice, in a song oriented genre like rock and roll, (and esp. in steakhead rosk he seems to dissecting here) the riff is the far more important thing. In several of the songs he mentions ("Tush" "I Love Rock And Roll" "Burnin' For You") the solo is as Chris Walken says , of minor fucking importance.

Plus, I think music criticism has reached the point that eviscerating the likes of Zeppelin, AC/DC and Skynyrd is not exactly a daring thing anymore, it's almost conformist. It's more refreshing to actually se them defended (lucidly, not in some playground "Metal Rules" type of way), but I admit to my biases.


Like okay maybe because it's terrible on purpose it doesn't count

Again when the Milkmen did it it was a breath of fresh air, but at this point the whole "we suck and we don't care" is downright boring.
posted by jonmc at 9:03 AM on July 31, 2004

the worst 50 guitar solos ever emanated from neil young, and consist at any given moment of the last 50 times he "played" an electric guitar.
no, i don't think so, quonsar ... subjectively, i feel he's got a great feel and tone to his guitar playing ... objectively, dorothy wiggins of the shaggs is much, much worse and that can be proved!
posted by pyramid termite at 9:07 AM on July 31, 2004

I'm not really a fan of many of these songs. But the list was still just sort of annoying. I think this is the reason why: You get the sense, from the tone throughout, that the list could have ended with: 50 (tie) Every Guitar Solo I Haven't Yet Mentioned.
posted by .kobayashi. at 9:16 AM on July 31, 2004

objectively, dorothy wiggins of the shaggs is much, much worse and that can be proved!

granted. at least we've got neil in the correct ballpark.
posted by quonsar at 9:31 AM on July 31, 2004

And anyone who calls Jeff Beck overrated is an idiot.

Amen. Jeff Beck was, in my view, the most tasteful and creative of all the guitarists in the "Clapton is God" era. And that includes Jimi Hendrix, whose early career blues playing was unparalleled, but his meandering Electric Ladyland stuff was beyond tedious.
posted by psmealey at 10:06 AM on July 31, 2004

The author of this drivel just doesn't know how to listen critically. Yeah, it takes a real man to pick on Whitesnake and Bryan Adams. And he doesn't know what a talk-box is. And how could you hate "Freebird"? It's long, yes, but it goes places, it's well-thought-out, and it's interesting. (But "When I See You Smile" and "Shooting Star" both do legitimately suck.)

Moving on to the plus side, how could someone not cite "I Wanna Be Sedated" as one of the best guitar solos ever? Yes, it was one note over and over again, but it was exactly what was necessary. No more, no less.

And let me just say that Mark Knopfler is way underrated with his soloing. Check out "Lady Writer","Angel of Mercy", or "You and Your Friend" for some really good, intelligent, understated soloing.
posted by Vidiot at 10:12 AM on July 31, 2004

Comfortably Numb's solo is one of the most produced ever. It was recorded, spilced etc. then the recording was played in the middle of a big stadium, with a microphone near the edge. Comfortably Numb is cool, nothing makes it bad that it's super produced (otherwise Pitchfork would have to complain about, say, Radiohead's Paranoid Android solo, which was run through a mutator twice and sounds like it's from another dimension)
posted by abcde at 10:24 AM on July 31, 2004

I suppose I can at least be thankful that he didn't include Mike Bloomfield's solo on "Like A Rolling Stone" or Springsteen's on "Jungleland."

Jonmc, I tell you if he had included Springsteen that would be the final reason I need to get on a plane back East. Liverpool-Roma, 25th HS reunion, and a good PFM ass kickin'! Now there's a well rounded trip.
posted by billsaysthis at 10:52 AM on July 31, 2004

oh, and in re the title: steve perry wasn't a guitarist.

Yeah, I hadn't bothered to see what hack actually played that god-awful solo in his song.

posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:09 AM on July 31, 2004

I'm amazed that none of the many subpar solos George Harrison did for various takes of "Let It Be" made it on here. Truly, on a song so solo-friendly, and from a master like George, I can't think of any excuse other than intentional sabotage -- flubbing a Paul song as revenge for his bossery on "Hey Jude". Of course, Paul got him back but good with the bass tomfoolery on "Something"...

::flails about wildly in search of more tin foil::
posted by Ptrin at 11:16 AM on July 31, 2004

posted by swift at 11:17 AM on July 31, 2004

So I look at the list and the first thing I see is Motorhead. I mean if a solo is less than four bars does it even count as a solo?

Personally, I think guitar solos should be banned. They only exist because guitar players have huge fucking egos.
posted by dodgygeezer at 12:10 PM on July 31, 2004

I think you should be banned. from everything.
posted by mcsweetie at 12:21 PM on July 31, 2004

no, you should. so there.
posted by dodgygeezer at 12:42 PM on July 31, 2004

I'm glad he took down Zappa's solo in "Willie the Pimp," and that he did it for all the right reasons. But just to take this list back a little further in time, the worst guitar solo of the 20th Century by a major band has to be the lame diddling in the Beatles' "Get Back." (One of the best, however, is the pumped up Carl Perkins of the Beatles' "Can't Buy Me Love.") Greatest guitar solo of all time: "Louie Louie" by the Kingsman.
posted by Faze at 1:06 PM on July 31, 2004

troll:

It seems that Wilco's latest effort contains at least 12 of the worst solos I've ever suffered through /troll
posted by elwoodwiles at 2:22 PM on July 31, 2004

WHATEVER.
posted by mcsweetie at 2:31 PM on July 31, 2004

Formula for hack music "journalists":

1) Create a top-50 or bottom-50 list about any topic under the sun (suggestions: best album, song, artist, band, guitarist, singer, jazz musician, blues musician, text editor, brand of pickup truck...)
2) Be sure to make your "criticism" as knee-jerk and unprincipled as possible
3) Include crap in your top-50 and obviously good stuff in your bottom-50, to be sure to enrage people
4) Email to boss
5) Cash paycheck
6) Laugh at the fallout

I get so sick of this sort of tripe. Can please have some other sort of tripe for a change?
posted by wheat at 2:55 PM on July 31, 2004

Can please have some other sort of tripe for a change?

Sure.
posted by jonmc at 3:05 PM on July 31, 2004

i'm really afraid to click on that tripesite, jon. does goatse man make an appearance?
posted by pxe2000 at 3:53 PM on July 31, 2004

No, it's safe for just about anywhere, pxe2000.
posted by jonmc at 4:08 PM on July 31, 2004

Sorry people, but I've got to say it...I have no idea who this reviwer is, but I do know this much...If his hindsight is so damned perfect...why doesn't he shave his ass and walk backwards? This reviwer of the worst guitar solos doesn't know a damned thing that he's talking about...there's no taking into account as to where Rock was at the time of the recording of such solos either...if this guy could have shoved his opinion aside and look at the solo in the light of what else was being recorded at the same time, most, or at least a decent number of these songs would have been considered for the most innovative guitar solos list...an overly-opinionated wanker that's for sure!!
posted by Epitath at 4:36 PM on July 31, 2004

Such reviewers and reviews prove one thing...masturbation of opinion is possible...
posted by Epitath at 4:38 PM on July 31, 2004

The worst part of this list is that half of these barely qualify as solos at all. Maybe he just hates electric guitars in general.
posted by amauck at 4:39 PM on July 31, 2004

"Party Girl" by U2 (off Under a Blood Red Sky).

Precisely the one I was trying to think of. Thanks, psmealey. That would've bugged me, trying to remember which song it was from.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:07 PM on July 31, 2004

One of my favourite solo is Mick Ronson's excellently melodic work on Moonage Daydream. Mick made David Bowie & Ian Hunter look good. (Ok not really, but Mick Ronson rocks!). Other good solos by Ronson are Angel No. 9, Empty Bed, and Width of Circle.
posted by riffola at 8:12 PM on July 31, 2004

Er I am not sure why I included Empty Bed above. Doesn't matter, Mick Ronson, boy could he play guitar.
posted by riffola at 8:26 PM on July 31, 2004

What a stupid fucking list.
posted by Ty Webb at 8:51 PM on July 31, 2004

I think maybe he should of just called it "50 guitar solos I think are a bit overrated." They are by no means the worst. Come on, he lists the live version of "Sweet Jane" featuring Steve Hunter and Dick Wagner off of Rock 'N' Roll Animal. Sure, it may be a little over the top, but there is some amazing fretwork going on there and it is such a beautiful version of the song.
<music geek>
"Party Girl" by U2 (off Under a Blood Red Sky).
Precisely the one I was trying to think of. Thanks, psmealey. That would've bugged me, trying to remember which song it was from
The original of the live version on UABRS was actually a B-side released in 1982 (from the "Celebration" single.) It was titled "Trash Trampoline And The Party Girl", and they shortened it to just "Part Girl" for the live album. The original version had Edge playing an acoustic, and has a similar solo, filled in with some weird keyboards. It sure does not translate well to the live/electric setting (and the original is pretty bad to start with.) In fact, this is one of the worst U2 songs, imho. I have no idea why they chose to include it on UABRS, which otherwise is a really strong live EP. I was at that show in Colorado, my vote would have been to include "Seconds", with Bono and Edge singing together, instead.</music geek>
posted by sixdifferentways at 1:40 AM on August 1, 2004

Bonzo Dog Band's "Canyons of Your Mind" contains what is famously the world's worst guitar solo, by Neil Innes, the band's keyboardist. Its absence from this list invalidates the whole enterprise.
posted by soyjoy at 9:16 AM on August 2, 2004