The end of music

August 5, 2004 9:44 AM

The worst CD in the world. Here's something to while away the office hours, compiling the worst CD in the world from tracks that you own.

"What's your least favourite track by your favourite band? It's a difficult question, because often we're reluctant to admit that our favourite bands have written bad songs. We program ourselves to take sides: we'll often convince ourselves that a good song by a band we don't generally like is worse than a bad song by a band we normally love.

I'm interested to know if there's any common stuff in people's most hated songs list, and conversely if something you own and hate happens to be someone else's favourite. And if there's something you really can't stand - why did you buy it? Why do you still have it?"

So it's fifteen tracks in your own record collection that you hate the most. And the site is something to do with some time mefi poster nylon, so all the more reason to join in the fun

I'm kicking off my CD with starship.
posted by ciderwoman (148 comments total)

the KLF. mu-mu my ass.
posted by taumeson at 9:52 AM on August 5, 2004

I don't have to compile it, because the Absolute Worst CD In The World is sitting in my mother's collection right now. It's called Hooked On Classics.
posted by brownpau at 9:54 AM on August 5, 2004

ciderwoman, thanks for reminding me about that song. I forgot about it and I remember how much I love it! Woohoo!

It's called Hooked On Classics.

I listened to that all the time as a kid. I'm sure it's still good.

The KLF made one of the best songs ever... doot doot... beep beep. KLF is gonna (mumble) ya! Uh huh uh huh!

I have an idea! Perhaps you just ask me what my favourite music is, and you can make the CD from that.

Let's see... I have some Bryan Adams CDs... BlackBox music videos...
posted by shepd at 9:59 AM on August 5, 2004

I can't really come up with any tracks I hate by bands I love (other than "Love Cats" by the Cure, which is right on the margin of detestability), but I certainly have no shortage of "mistake purchases" in my collection. How about a 5-song EP, off hand?

1. What's Up - Four Non Blondes
2. Pictures at an Exhibition - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
3. Hell is for Children - Pat Benatar
4. Dirty White Boy - Foreigner
5. Rain in the Summertime - the Alarm
posted by psmealey at 9:59 AM on August 5, 2004

-Tom Waits' Kentucky Avenue and On the Nickel: two embarrasingly shitty songs in an otherwise phenomenal catalog.
-The Beatles' Martha My Dear. Oh how I loathe this song.
-That endless track on Tricky's Pre-Millenium Tension with the guy muttering incomprehensibly about the ghetto
-The Velvet Underground's Lonesome Cowboy Bill

More will come to me.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:00 AM on August 5, 2004

I am so doing this when I get home from work. But offhand I'd have to say that my CD would include David Bowie's cover of Bertolt Brecht's "Alabama Song," Public Enemy's "911 Is A Joke", Rage Against the Machine's "Settle For Nothing," and Diana Ross's "My Old Piano." All four of them, in a row. That would kill a man.
posted by Prospero at 10:02 AM on August 5, 2004

Starship? ELP? You people don't know the meaning of worst. I'd probably go with something from Carl Strygg's Sings the Classics--funded by my tax dollars! [here are his covers of Barracuda and A Criminal Mind, for instances]

On preview, PST, I actually like those Waits songs.
posted by dobbs at 10:03 AM on August 5, 2004

You normally love Starship?

We Built This City was recently voted the world's worst record. I'm proud to say that was one of the first records I ever owned, along with Foreigner's "Double Vision" and Tears for Fears' "Songs from the Big Chair."

I personally hate The Long and Winding Road.
posted by swift at 10:06 AM on August 5, 2004

Also, though it cracks me up it has to be one of their worst songs, Don't Try Suicide by Queen.
posted by swift at 10:10 AM on August 5, 2004

dobbs:On preview, PST, I actually like those Waits songs.

I am always fascinated by the differences in taste people have, especially when it's me and someone whose judgment I generally trust (like you). Can I ask what your least favorite Waits' song is?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:11 AM on August 5, 2004

OK, here goes:

1. "The Kid Is Hot Tonite" Loverboy
2. "Hey Jack Kerouac" 10,000 Maniacs
3. "Where's The Party?" Eddie Money
4. "Storyville" Robbie Robertson
5. "Babe" Styx
6. "I'll Wait" Van Halen
7. "Let's Roll" Neil Young
8. "Street Of Dreams" Rainbow
9. "Forever Man" Eric Clapton

Like other people, I'll probably come up with more and better examples when I get home from work.
posted by jonmc at 10:11 AM on August 5, 2004

Your least favourite track by your favourite band doesn't suck!
Or something.

The reason that I have some records that I cannot stand is that they are at the back of the box being leant on by the rest of the records in the box, as a buffer. Some others are kept for other reasons. CDs I don't like get recycled.

All music has some value, even if it is as an example of 'How not to do things'.

I have a copy of 'Kylie Said to Jason' by the Jamms (KLF) which is a shite record IMHO, but now worth 8 times what I paid for it.
posted by asok at 10:14 AM on August 5, 2004

Oh, God, yes: "Hey Jack Kerouac" I fucking HATE that song. There's also a song on the 10K Maniacs record where she's condescendingly shoveling shit on her brother for joining the Army. I hate that one almost as much. Strangely enough, I sorta dig the rest of the album.
posted by psmealey at 10:15 AM on August 5, 2004

and Tears for Fears' "Songs from the Big Chair."

Dude, I loved that record - makeout record of the year, freshman year (college)
posted by kgasmart at 10:17 AM on August 5, 2004

You're all a bunch of haters.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:18 AM on August 5, 2004

You're all a bunch of haters.

crash_davis' momma so fat she made a tape of her straining on the john and callled it Songs from the Big Chair Part 2.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:22 AM on August 5, 2004

U2- Miami
posted by initapplette at 10:23 AM on August 5, 2004

Radiohead- Punch Up at a Wedding. This from a band where I normally, and quite regularly, fall down and genuflect before every note, nay, every little squiggly electronic effect. Guys, it's boring. Unworthy.
posted by jokeefe at 10:29 AM on August 5, 2004

Dude, I loved that record

Me too.

3. Led Zeppelin's attempt at country music, Hot Dog.

4. Louis Armstrong, "What a Wonderful World."
posted by swift at 10:30 AM on August 5, 2004

Led Zeppelin's attempt at "reggae", D'yer Ma'ker (pronounced: Jamaica), along with Hot Dog is another song of theirs that makes me shudder. Where someone got the balls to call that reggae is something I'll never quite fathom.
posted by psmealey at 10:34 AM on August 5, 2004

The Doors: Twentieth Century Fox. She's a--duh duh-- 20th century faa-hux, She's a--

Actually, I no longer like anything by The Doors, so I guess that doesn't count.

On preview: Oh yeah, D'yer M'ker. God I hate/hated that song.
posted by jokeefe at 10:35 AM on August 5, 2004

psmealy, the fact that I even own a 10k Maniacs record blows my fuckin' mind. Natalie Merchant is so humorless and lacking in anything approaching soulfulness that she could be what Mojo Nixon called the "anti-Elvis." NTM, Jack Kerouac would have laughed her out of the room as a hopelessly uptight square.
posted by jonmc at 10:36 AM on August 5, 2004

on preview, "Hot Dog" was actually meant as a parody and I always dug the guitar on it, but YMMV.
posted by jonmc at 10:38 AM on August 5, 2004

Blue Milk by Stereolab. There's always been a more-than-fair share of dodgy content on their albums, but that's by far the dodgiest.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:42 AM on August 5, 2004

"Teakbois" by Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe. I mostly loved that album, even though you could barely hear Steve Howe, but WTF was that track all about?

Not that it's my favorite album to begin with, but "Love is Stronger than Justice" from Sting's Ten Summoner's Tales is just a terrible song, primarily due to the faux-country-western chorus. Ugh, ugh, ugh.
posted by kindall at 10:46 AM on August 5, 2004

Snap - I've Got the Power
Creed - My Own Prison
Aqua - Barbie Girl
Anything by Rage Against the Machine
Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffany's


More later, if I can muster the hate.

And I think I can!
posted by dhoyt at 10:47 AM on August 5, 2004

Two more horrible tracks by monumentally great artists:

"Eleanor Rigby" by Ray Charles
"I Just Called To Say I Love You," Stevie Wonder
"She's Leaving Home" The Beatles
posted by jonmc at 10:49 AM on August 5, 2004

1. "Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)" by ABBA.
2. "Have A Good Time" by Paul Simon. (I HATE HATE HATE this song; it's just so awful).
3. "Tomorrow Never Knows" by The Beatles.
4. "Your Most Valuable Posession"by Ben Folds Five.
5. "The Music and the Mirror" by The Chorus Line Original Broadway Cast.
6. "Writing," "We All Fall in Love Sometimes," "Grow Some Funk of Your Own," "Talking Old Soldiers" by Elton John.
7. "Atonement" by Lucinda Williams.
8. "You'll See" from Rent.
9. "Old Kentucky Home" by Randy Newman.
10. "Shadows" by Rufus Wainwright.
11. "Note to Self: Don't Die" by Ryan Adams.
12. "Patterns" by Simon and Garfunkel.
13. "Bodhisattva" by Steely Dan.
14. "You'll Miss Me" by They Might Be Giants.
15. "Freaks" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
16. "Less Than You Think" by Wilco.
posted by adrober at 10:50 AM on August 5, 2004

Hot Dog was very popular in their concerts, too. Maybe a better/worse choice would be Stairway to Heaven, if only because it makes most people moan.

4. Beastie Boys, I Don't Know. Singing. The horror.
posted by swift at 10:51 AM on August 5, 2004

Oops, I didn't read the criteria closely enough!
posted by dhoyt at 10:56 AM on August 5, 2004

"Never Seeing the Ground for the Sky" by Sloan. "Coconut Cream" by the Tragically Hip. "A House or Maybe A Boat" by Hawksley Workman. "A Prayer for England" by Massive Attack. "Honeymoon" by Copyright (although in truth, there's only one good song on that album.) And, although it probably doesn't count as a song, "Fitter Happier" by Radiohead.

Hey, this is fun!
posted by Johnny Assay at 11:01 AM on August 5, 2004

"Wafflehead" by Robyn Hitchcock. "I Love You (But You're Boring)" by the Beautiful South. "Revolution 9" by the Beatles. "Psycho Street" by Richard Thompson (amusing the first few times, but then tiresome). All songs by artists I normally love, but not in these cases.
posted by Man-Thing at 11:02 AM on August 5, 2004

5. John Lennon, (Just Like) Starting Over
6. Cheap Trick, The Flame
7. Jonathan Richman, Ice Cream Man
8. Sonic Youth, Eric's Trip
posted by swift at 11:04 AM on August 5, 2004

"Nothing Like You" by the Miles Davis Quintet with Bob Dorough on vocals. It ends the sublime album Sorcerer, and I have no idea what anyone was thinking.
posted by digaman at 11:06 AM on August 5, 2004

adrober, the Beatles' "Tomorrow Never Knows" is one of the greatest 20 tracks of all time, but chacun a son gout.
posted by digaman at 11:07 AM on August 5, 2004

"I Love You (But You're Boring)" by the Beautiful South

All the more tragic because the song has so much potential. It's the precise sort of song that the Beautiful South would get right (in the vein of other relationship songs like "Don't Marry Her, F--- Me"), and yet they blew it.
posted by deanc at 11:10 AM on August 5, 2004

PST: Can I ask what your least favorite Waits' song is?

I pretty much dislike everything he's done since (and including) Bone Machine and/or Black Rider. I buy all his records when they come out but I'd be hard pressed to name a single song from anything done in the past 10 years (though I can name stuff on BM). I started listening to him in the mid-80s and like most everything up to BM. I find people who got into him with that album (Big in Japan, whatnot) prefer his recent stuff.

"Honeymoon" by Copyright (although in truth, there's only one good song on that album.)

Well, you found one more than I did. Their DGC release, however, is terrific.
posted by dobbs at 11:11 AM on August 5, 2004

• Steely Dan - Everything Must Go - Slang of Ages
• Bright Eyes - Fevers and Mirrors - Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh
  (or my favorite way to parody it, "Challah, Challah, A Bread, Challah")
• Radiohead - Pablo Honey - Creep
• Radiohead - unknown - Killer Cars
• The Faint - Blank-wave Arcade - Sealed Human
• EPMD - Strictly Business - The Steve Martin
• Earth, Wind and Fire - various - Reasons
• Digable Planets - Reachin' - Rebirth of Slick

posted by sequential at 11:12 AM on August 5, 2004

"Good Friends," "Fiction," and "Lead Balloon" by Joni Mitchell.
posted by digaman at 11:13 AM on August 5, 2004

I'm pretty sure I could fill out a double CD set of suck from my complete collection of Rush alone.
posted by majcher at 11:13 AM on August 5, 2004

On the Beastie Boys topic.. as a fan, I'd put "Fight for you right" right up there as my least favorite song of theirs :-)

To the person who mentioned The Long and Winding Road.. try the version on the recent Let It Be Naked, it's surprisingly different.

Oh, and on the Paul McCartney tip.. how can anyone like Mull of Kintyre? Horrendous.. and even more so once those bloody bagpipes get going :-)
posted by wackybrit at 11:15 AM on August 5, 2004

ciderwoman, the Starship kick-off was appropriate -- I don't know if there's another group that went from provocative interesting folk-rock (i.e., "Blows Against the Empire") to utter vomit-inducing GET THAT SONG AWAY FROM ME radio pap in such a short span of years.
posted by digaman at 11:16 AM on August 5, 2004

You could do a Beatles discography on this one (and I say this as a lifelong, major Beatles fan):

Please Please Me - OK, nothing bad on this album; if I had to pick a worst song it'd be "Baby It's You" or "Anna" - too mellow for the raucous mood.

With the Beatles - "Don't Bother Me" or "Little Child," both relatively slight amidst a breathtaking achievement.

A Hard Day's Night - If you had to pick one bad tune off of a wall-to-wall winner, maybe "I'll Cry Instead"

Beatles for Sale - Unfortunately, too much to pick from here. "Mr. Moonlight" - bleeccchh. "Words of Love" and "Every Little Thing"; great for anyone else, for the Beatles... eh.

Help! - I might have said "I Need You," back before I saw Tom Petty do it on the George Harrison PBS concert - revelatory. Instead, how about another Harrison clunker - "You Like Me Too Much."

Rubber Soul - "Run for your Life," if only because of the hateful lyrics.

Revolver - "For No One," maybe, only because McCartney had already done it on side 1 with "Here There and Everywhere." Killer album.

Sgt. Pepper - "Within You, Without You." Did not translate past 1968 or so. Also, "She's Leaving Home." And "Mr. Kite."

White Album - Too much to choose from here, depressingly. "Revolution 9," obviously. "Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da" for sheer sappiness.

Abbey Road - "Maxwell's Silver Hammer"
posted by kgasmart at 11:18 AM on August 5, 2004

9. Tom Jones, Wichita Lineman
10. Miles Davis, Doo Bop
posted by swift at 11:37 AM on August 5, 2004

Radiohead - unknown - Killer Cars

*tiptoes in, whispers* It's a Pablo Honey b-side, from the Anyone Can Play Guitar single, 1993 *tiptoes away*
posted by jokeefe at 11:40 AM on August 5, 2004

Killer Cars is also on the Itch and Lost Treasures EPs.

And I really, really like that song.
posted by mosch at 11:48 AM on August 5, 2004

Stevie Wonder - "Sir Duke".
posted by gimonca at 11:55 AM on August 5, 2004

I just have to say that I love the fact that the google ads on this page relate to a foundation for the study and treatment of bowel disease (Crohn's and ulcerative colitis).

Also, U2, All That You Can't Leave Behind-- a tie between New York ('New York.... New York... I just bought a place in New York') and In a Little While.
posted by jokeefe at 11:55 AM on August 5, 2004

Does it have to be bad songs from artists you love, or are terrible songs from records you've hung onto on account of being an audio packrat count? If the latter:

"White Witch" by the Andrea True Connection (even worse white reggae pastiche than "D'yer Maker", and that's saying something)
"Puppet on a String" by Sandie Shaw
Pretty much all of the "Spawn" soundtrack (that Orbital/Metallica "SATAN SATAN SATAN" track excepted)

If it's gotta be artists I love:
"The End" by the Doors (okay, Mr. Morisson, we get it, you read Freud. Here's a fuckin' merit badge)
"November Rain" by G'n'f'n'R (or hell, all of "Use Your Illusion I & II" and probably large chunks of "The Spaghetti Incident" and "G n' R Lies" as well)
"Third Stone from the Sun" by Jimi Hendrix (novelty shlock)
Aphex Twin's more abrasive drill n' bass-type stuff (I'd name a track if I could be bothered to dig out "I Care Because You Do", but I'm lazy)... I'll stop now.
posted by arto at 11:59 AM on August 5, 2004

This is harder than I thought. But I'll go along with Slang of Ages. Bad Walter, no more "singing" for you.

Also, sadly, anything off of Bruce Hornsby's last two studio albums, Big Swing Face and Halcyon Days (not released yet... found it in a Usenet group.) He peaked with Spirit Trail and Here Come the Noisemakers.
posted by emelenjr at 12:04 PM on August 5, 2004

Carouselambra - Led Zeppelin
Big Balls - AC/DC
Ghetto Defendant - The Clash
Song of the Shrimp - Elvis
Far Away Eyes - Rolling Stones
Girls and Boys - Blur
Wars Of Armageddon - Funkadelic
The Gift - Velvet Underground
Now I'm A Farmer - The Who
Wooden Heart - Elvis
No Quarter - Led Zeppelin
Big Ten Inch - Aerosmith
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:10 PM on August 5, 2004

1. "When The Shit Hits The Fan (Acoustic)" -- Circle Jerks
2. "Who Killed Bambi" -- The Sex Pistols
3. "Shiny Happy People" -- REM
4. "Kinda Future" -- 7 Seconds
5. "Boomin' Systems" -- LL Cool J
6. "Unity" -- James Brown & Afrika Bambaataa
7. "Don't Call Me Nigger, Whitey" -- Sly & The Family Stone
8. "Snowblind" -- Steppenwolf
9. "Ghetto Child" -- Curtis Mayfield
10. "Timmy The Turtle" -- NOFX
11. "I'm Sailin" -- Mazzy Star
12. "Shanti/Ashangi" -- Madonna

Like the professionals, I'm 3 short of a decent album.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:12 PM on August 5, 2004

Radiohead - unknown - Killer Cars

*tiptoes in, whispers* It's a Pablo Honey b-side, from the Anyone Can Play Guitar single, 1993 *tiptoes away*
posted by jokeefe at 11:40 AM PST on August 5


Killer Cars is also on the Itch and Lost Treasures EPs.

And I really, really like that song.
posted by mosch at 11:48 AM PST on August 5

I made an MP3 of the song from a mix tape, so I had no idea where it came from. I had some inkling it was a b-side or from an import, but have never come across it personally. Like a lot of their music, it's good quality, but there's something about the song and my understanding of his literal fear of cars that makes me unable to appreciate it for anything other than the ravings of an irrational man. For whatever reason, I can not listen to the song without performing it like a scene in Marat/Sade, as acted by Amherst College students this past fall. *shivers*

Ogre, you're breaking my heart! I consider these all classics in their own respect! ;-)

5. "Boomin' Systems" -- LL Cool J
7. "Don't Call Me Nigger, Whitey" -- Sly & The Family Stone
9. "Ghetto Child" -- Curtis Mayfield
posted by sequential at 12:18 PM on August 5, 2004

Crowded House: Either "Fame Is" or "Not The Girl You Think You Are". Neither of which is particularly awful, but they're probably the tunes I like least by one of my favorite bands.
Midnight Oil: "Antarctica"
I find Cake to be stunningly variable, but I think "Mexico" is probably the nadir.
Johnny Cash: "The One On The Right Is On The Left"
posted by nickmark at 12:19 PM on August 5, 2004

Sir Duke!?! Oh gosh, that was it. I could keep quiet about D'yer M'ker, Tears for Fears, Girls and Boys by blur, and even anything by the almighty Miles, but hating Stevie? That's just taking it too far. You guys have no taste...
posted by Dantien at 12:20 PM on August 5, 2004

swift: Doo Bop! That album was a special disaster for me because when it came out, my dad had asked for a Miles Davis CD for his birthday or Christmas or whatever. I didn't bother to listen to it before I bought it... suffice to say my dad is NOT a hip-hop fan, and I think it's still a coaster on one of his tables to this very day. Pure, unadulterated crap. I especially like how the DJ finished it up after Miles died by taking some of his good older solos and playing them over drum machine beats. Gag.

Before reading the thread, I was getting ready to assert that there's not a bad song by Tom Waits, but reading the Waits-related posts have definitely snapped me out of that. I disagree with dobbs to a point; there's some quality stuff on the recent albums (I think "Alice" is pretty decent), but in general it is lackluster compared to the older ones. Black Rider was always one of my favorites, though. Without further ado, terrible Tom Waits songs:

"Ice Cream Man"
"Gospel Train" (maybe it's not fair, since this is an interstitial)
"What's he building in there"
"Heartattack and Vine" (just the song)

Um... wow, that's all I came up with. Of course I only went through half the catalog, there's a few disks I haven't imported to the iPod yet. Also, I decided not to beat up on Mule Variations too badly. But as I was building this list, I confirmed one thing: there's not a bad moment on Small Change.
posted by rkent at 12:28 PM on August 5, 2004

I love ghetto Defendant by the Clash.

And What's he building in there.
posted by ciderwoman at 12:38 PM on August 5, 2004

Dantien, since I was the guy who first mentioned Miles, do you even know the track called "Nothing Like You"? Believe me, you'll agree with me on that one.

But "Revolution 9" isn't "obviously" crap except for those popsters who think that John Cage was "obviously" a self-indulgent fraud. I listened to it through headphones for the first time in maybe a decade right after George W. announced the commencement of shock-and-awe bombing in Baghdad, and it hit the spot.
posted by digaman at 12:40 PM on August 5, 2004

Is it just me, or could pretty much any of the songs off of David Byrne's newest record qualify? I'm a long-time fan of Byrne, but this record... ick.
posted by .kobayashi. at 12:44 PM on August 5, 2004

I've mentioned this before, but mine would have to contain Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 2. (shudder)
posted by jragon at 12:46 PM on August 5, 2004

Can I just say how refreshing it is to hear people actually criticizing the Beatles? I have too many friends who will stop speaking to you if you hint of even thinking of the possibility that they wrote a bad song.

A quick 5:

1. "Mother" -- The Police (good god, what were they thinking?)
2. "There Goes God" -- Crowded House
3. "Solbury Hill" -- Erasure (they've jumped the shark, and this is the sound of them being eaten alive)
4. Everything on the album "Musicology" except the song "Musicology" -- Prince
5. "My Phone's On Vibrate For You" -- Rufus Wainwright (and fwiw, I love "Shadows")
posted by papercake at 1:00 PM on August 5, 2004

This was fun to consider, thanks ciderwoman!
With respect to a full album of peaks and lows with a good shitty song finish:

1) "Hot Blooded" - Foreigner
2) "Happiest Girl in the whole USA" - Donna Fargo
3) "Hot Blooded" - Foreigner
4) "Baby Come Back" - Player
5) "Hot Blooded" - Foreigner
6) "Happiest Girl in the whole USA" - Donna Fargo
7) "Baby Come Back" - Player
8) "Let it Burn" - Usher
9) "Rip it out" - Ace Frehley
10) "Lick it up" - KISS
11) "Back Off Bitch" - Guns N Roses
12) "That Ain't Love - REO Speedwagon
13) "Juke Box Hero" - Foreigner
14) "Head Games" - Foreigner
and the closer:
15) "Don't Cry (Original)" - Guns N Roses

(20 minutes of silence and then the DOUBLE bonus hidden track, "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner and then truly ending with "November Rain" - Guns N Roses)
posted by Peter H at 1:10 PM on August 5, 2004

curve--all of one (cuckoo)
the cure--doing the unstuck or wendytime (wish)
nina gordon--horses in the city (tonight and the rest of my life) (the whole album is silly girl pop, but good lord is that song execrable)
jesus and mary chain--the remix of teenage lust (hate rock n roll)
every track sung by brendan perry on any dead can dance album
posted by crush-onastick at 1:17 PM on August 5, 2004

I would like to humbly submit the entire Frank Sinatra album Some Nice Things I've Missed. Not only do you get Frank versions of "If," "Sweet Caroline" and "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown," you get the Rosetta Stone of Ol' Blue Eyes' career: the magnificent "Satisfy Me One More Time," a filthy ode to screwing featuring such pearls as "there's still a lot of gooey goodies left / when you reach the cookie jar just help yourself." Priceless.

If you like pushing on bruises you'll love this one.
posted by Atom12 at 1:19 PM on August 5, 2004

Just to weigh in on Tom Waits:

dobbs:On preview, PST, I actually like those Waits songs.

I am always fascinated by the differences in taste people have, especially when it's me and someone whose judgment I generally trust (like you). Can I ask what your least favorite Waits' song is?

I really like Kentucky Avenue and On The Nickel. The one that gives me the shakes is that awful Bette Midler duet on Foreign Affairs: I Never Talk to Strangers.

Thinking about my record collection for a minute here, let me give it a shot:

Joe Jackson: Jumpin' Jive
I don't get Joe Jackson. So many great songs and then this sort of thing. One of Miguel Cardoso's favorites, I'm sure.
The Pogues: Blue Heaven
The beginning of the end for one of my favorite bands. No-one should have let Philip Chevron write songs.
Billy Bragg: Wish You Were Her
From "Don't Try This at Home", whcih could also contribute the well-intentioned but honestly rather shite "Sexuality". On Wish You Were Her, Billy started singing in an unfathomable falsetto.
Einstuerzende Neubauten: Total Eclipse of the Sun
Besides conjuring Bonnie Tyler with its title, the lyrics are reminiscent of a Spice Girls hit.
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds: God Is In the House
Nick Cave channels Tom Lehrer with predictable results.
David Bowie: the entire Black Tie/White Noise album
Answered the question "what could be worse than Glass Spider?"
Iggy Pop: Wild America
Among many others.
Lou Reed: The Original Wrapper
oh man. You could make a list of Lou Reed's misguided numbers. "Down at the Arcade"... "Disco Mystic". *shudder* But The Original Wrapper takes the cake. "Hey hey pitcher you better check that batter/Make sure the candy's in the original wrapper.
PiL: The Body
So, so annoying.
Chumbawamba: Tubthumping
I have no excuse. It sounded good to me at the time, and I'm sure a lot of you felt the same way. I still have the CD single, mostly because I'm fairly certain no used shop would buy it. Don't cry for me, next door neighbor. Yeesh.

I'm sure I'll think of more later. Fun topic.
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:20 PM on August 5, 2004

The Clash: Rock the Casbah. How far the mighty have fallen.

Pixies: Wave of Mutilation. *ducks brickbats* I can't stand the way the vocals are recorded, okay? One blip in an otherwise brilliant body of work.
posted by jokeefe at 1:27 PM on August 5, 2004

Well, OK, Chumbawamba doesn't count because I don't actually like the band. Just wanted to clear that up.
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:27 PM on August 5, 2004

every track sung by brendan perry on any dead can dance album
posted by crush-onastick at 1:17 PM PST on August 5

Nooooooooooo!!

*clutches precious collection of DCD mid 90s live bootlegs to bosom*

I also own Tubthumping. I still kinda like Memory Loss, or whatever that song was called. Come on, it rocks, and you know it.

The Verve: Everything on Urban Hymns *except* Bittersweet Symphony

Elbow: Buttons and Zips from Cast of Thousands. Meh. The only stumble in an otherwise sublime album.
posted by jokeefe at 1:36 PM on August 5, 2004

1) Bauhaus - Telegram Sam
2) Nick Cave - The Carney
3) Westside Connection - Westward Ho!
4) Sisters of Mercy - Marian
5) Nirvana - Scentless Aprentice
6) Siouxie and the Banshees - Hong Kong Garden
7) Stray Cats - Rumble in Brighton
8) Love and Rockets - Ball of Confusion
9) Switchblade Symphony - Copycat
10) Type O Negative - Day Tripper
11) REM - Hairshirt


That's all I could think of off the top of my head... But every last one of those somgs makes me scratch my head and wonder, "what the *hell* were they thinking?"
posted by antimony at 1:37 PM on August 5, 2004

How are the vocals recorded? To me, the production doesn't sound any different from other Pixies songs.
posted by swift at 1:41 PM on August 5, 2004

Some more steamers:

Sixpence None the Richer - "Kiss Me" if the elevator to hell has a soundtrack, this is on it. Ten times.

KISS - "Hooligan" The answer to the musical question "why don't we let the drummer sing more songs?" The guy rhymes "hooligan" with "school again."

The Las - "There She Goes" it's been covered by repeat offender Sixpence None the Richer, but these guys wrote it. And for that they must pay.

Metallica - "Invisible Kid." Wow. Just...wow.

Foo Fighters - "Tired of You" It might've got you laid Dave, but we didn't need it on the album.

Fear - "New York's Alright If You Like Saxophones" More shrill than Roseanne Barr after a couple of rails.

Samhain - pretty much all of it. I'm not scared Glenn, just embarrassed.

Queens of the Stone Age - "Never Say Never" Well, they should have.
posted by Atom12 at 1:42 PM on August 5, 2004

-Guv'ner's cover of Lennon's Jealous Guy (retitled Jealous Girl): a terrible cover of a song that I don't find that good to begin with.
(What the hell ever happened to Guv'ner anyway?)
-Mingus- Passions of a Man: it's an interesting experiment, but just not very listenable (especially in contrast to everything else on the fantastic Oh Yeah! album)
-T Rex- The Dancer: Boring, goes on forever
-King Crimson- Cadence and Cascade: I just don't like it
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:45 PM on August 5, 2004

Okay, just one more. Again, Pixies. La La Love You. I know the song's ironic, but I dislike it so much that I think I must have repressed any memory of it. 'La la love you, pretty baby'. Give me 'Must be a devil between us/or whores in my head/whores at my door/whores in my bed' any day.

This is refreshing.
posted by jokeefe at 1:48 PM on August 5, 2004

"Baby Come Back" - Player

I f'n love that song so much.

My vote for worst song goes to the new Duff sisters remake of "Our Lips are Sealed," but unfortunately I don't own the Cinderella Story Soundtrack. All the same, that song makes my tummy hurt.

My vote for worst of stuff I own has to be anything Mike Love wrote for the Beach Boys post Pet Sounds. For example "Student Demonstration Time" from Surf's Up ruins that album for me.

I guess my problem is that when I don't like something, I skip it, so this list is kind of hard.
posted by Quartermass at 2:06 PM on August 5, 2004

Yeah, I don't know how to come up with a list of stuff like this. All the CDs I own that I'm familiar enough with to pick from, I'm familiar enough with because I really like. I've hung on to some older stuff, but I don't know the albums at all so I can't say if they're good or bad, and frankly some of them might be completely bad for all I know.

Picking worst songs from my favorite bands is a more intriguing challenge. I'll think about it.
posted by nath at 2:11 PM on August 5, 2004

jokeefe: do you own Sandinista!? Because I'd put "Mensforth Hill" on that disc before "Rock The Casbah." Actually, you could pick any song off the second half of the second disc.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:15 PM on August 5, 2004

Pachelbel: Canon in D.
posted by casarkos at 2:15 PM on August 5, 2004

rkent: I am a huge Stevie Wonder fan, and Songs In The Key Of Life rates as one of my all-time favourite albums, but I have got to agree with the hate on "Sir Duke". I will also add "Isn't She Lovely" to the SITKOL hate list. And don't get me started on "I Just Called To Say..."
posted by pascal at 2:22 PM on August 5, 2004

Pink Floyd - "Seamus". I'll never understand why they decided to ruin the best album they ever wrote with a song that contains an extended dog solo.
posted by vorfeed at 2:28 PM on August 5, 2004

"Your Most Valuable Posession" by Ben Folds Five.

Oh, come on, that's a great track! Ben's dad rambling half-asleep into the answering machine about losing all your body mass and turning into a mind floating in space? What's not to love?

"Mother" by The Police

Now that's a 10-4 good buddy.

To this I'll add "Illegal Alien" by Genesis.
posted by kindall at 2:30 PM on August 5, 2004

the band//"jupiter hollow"
van dyke parks//"sailin' shoes"
the decemberists//"song for myla goldberg"
tori amos//"mohammed my friend"
the waitresses//"bread and butter" (though i'm sure it sounded better at the time)
fairport convention//"chelsea morning"
pretty much any version thereof, come to think of it, as people have been singing that to me since i was five -- i was named for an elvis costello song, people
wilco//"when you wake up feelin' old"
and the entire recorded output of bright eyes. i never thought neutral milk hotel could suck so much. wait, that's not jeff mangum? oh.

...and more as i think of them.
posted by pxe2000 at 2:31 PM on August 5, 2004

The one that gives me the shakes is that awful Bette Midler duet

OMG, yes YES!!! i had forgotten. I boycot the entire vinyl side two of Tom Waits greatest hits for the sheer unbelievable pain and failure of that freaking song. He puts you into such a nice dreamlike and teary-eyes mood with his other stuff and that song is like your abnoxious aunt coming in and screaming over your stereo.

if we were to have a contest for most endeared singer with most incredible failure of a song it would have to be that one. That thing goes down like a dung beetle. I had honestly forgotten how immediately I hated that song the first time I heard it - and subconsciously continue to avoid it - until you brought it back to mind.

Ha, you win the prize, Kafkaesque!
posted by Peter H at 2:36 PM on August 5, 2004

Bad songs by good artists (i.e. the "D'yer Mak'er effect")

Led Zeppelin - D'yer Mak'er
Gratified to see many others bring this one up. Ugh.

Dire Straits - Walk of Life
Wasted talent on this simplistic bit of boring fluff.

Beach Boys - Kokomo
1970s : Feel Flows :: 1980s : this

REM - Stand
Worse than Shiny Happy People, which Stipe or another member publicly disowned.

Pearl Jam - Yellow Ledbetter
Agony.

Elvis Costello - Every Day I Write the Book

Big Audio Dynamite - The Globe
Sampled Clash and lousy music.

Pink Floyd - Learning to Fly

Rush - Time Stand Still
1970s : Permanent Waves :: 1980s : this

Queen - Radio Ga-ga
1980s etc.

Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U
"Lion and the Cobra" was the first CD I ever bought, and I was looking forward to her next work. Talk about hope being crushed. Sophomore Slump. Bye bye Sinead.

Alice in Chains - Man in a Box
For several years in the 1990s, it's as if radio stations had never heard of any other AiC song.
posted by kurumi at 2:36 PM on August 5, 2004

iTunes' rating system allows me to access these messes rather quickly...

Cat Power - "Names"
Fountains of Wayne - "The Senator's Daughter"
Buffalo Tom - "I'm Not There"
Silver Jews - "The Wild Palms"
Broken Social Scene - "Lover's Spit"
Animal Collective - "We Tigers"
Modest Mouse - "Dog Padle"
Les Savy Fav - "Scratch Bonus" (unfair-- it's three minutes of static)
posted by themadjuggler at 2:46 PM on August 5, 2004

Kindall, I didn't realize that was Ben's dad. It's still the one I skip most often on an otherwise great CD.
posted by adrober at 2:50 PM on August 5, 2004

I'll third "I just called to say I love you". It takes true genius to write the best and the worst tracks of all time. I blame it on hanging around with 'Frog Chorus' McCartney.
posted by niceness at 2:52 PM on August 5, 2004

jokeefe: do you own Sandinista!? Because I'd put "Mensforth Hill" on that disc before "Rock The Casbah." Actually, you could pick any song off the second half of the second disc.

*prepares to fight to the death defending Sandinista*

I no longer own Combat Rock, but the song on the first side with Ginsburg mumbling into the mic is probably even worse than Rock the Casbah. It's hard to tell, because I listened to it once in 1982 and never played it again.
posted by jokeefe at 3:09 PM on August 5, 2004

a. Hey - Pixies
b. Heaven is a Truck - Pavement
c. Coax Me - Sloan
d. Big Old Wind - The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy
e. They're Going to Put me in the Movies - The Beatles
f. The Boy Looked at Johnny - The Libertines
g. Ultraviolence - New Order
h. Barbarism Begins at Home - The Smiths
i. Ride it On - Mazzy Star
j. Turn it Up - Blur
k. Why are you Being so Reasonable Now - The Wedding Present
l. Moonlife - Dalis Car
posted by juiceCake at 3:10 PM on August 5, 2004

holy shit you old folks totally know your bad music. I have to say i've never like Beethoven's Sonata nO.1 in f Minor, oP.2 nO.1-3 Menuetto (allegretto). It just doesn't hold my attention like his 14th opera.
posted by Keyser Soze at 3:16 PM on August 5, 2004

You could make at least two CDs of fabulous music out of this lot, I reckon. Oh well, each to their own.
posted by jonathanbell at 3:30 PM on August 5, 2004

Most least favorite songs by my most favorite bands:

1. "She Weaves a Tender Trap" - Swervedriver
2. "Give me the Cure" - Fugazi
3. "Back from Somewhere" - Hüsker Dü
4. "Rat's Eyes" - Black Flag
5. "Feel the Pain" - Dinosaur Jr. (or really anything without Low Barlow)
posted by psmealey at 3:50 PM on August 5, 2004

oh, and with the mefi goth contingent in full swing, i'm amazed that no one has brought up "friday i'm in love" by the cure. i heard that song when i was fourteen -- after falling painfully in love with disintegration, a still-valued album that got me through a painful time in my life -- and promptly removed wish from my discman and used it as a drink coaster. what an awful vomit of a tune.

...and to my list i'd like to add:
bob mould//"megamanic" yes, i know he was trying to suck. still.
sugar//"what you want it to be"
posted by pxe2000 at 3:55 PM on August 5, 2004

I didn't realize that was Ben's dad. It's still the one I skip most often on an otherwise great CD.

I dunno, I'd skip "Your Redneck Past" first, I think -- it's obvious filler. But I'll admit that "Your Most Valuable Possession" is more fun if you know the backstory. It might be in the liner notes, actually, but perhaps I read it on the Web.
posted by kindall at 3:58 PM on August 5, 2004

b. Heaven is a Truck - Pavement

I couldn't agree with you more, such a sad arrangement from such a great band.

Digable Planets - Nickle Bag
Sonic Youth - Bull in the Heather
Jane's Addiction - Pretty much everything from Strays
Aphex Twin - Buccephouls Bouncing Balls
Hum - Green to Me
Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight
Dinosaur Jr. - The Wagon
posted by Benway at 4:11 PM on August 5, 2004

DAMN

juiceCake's list and arrangement of shitty songs by good bands is quite good.
posted by Peter H at 4:13 PM on August 5, 2004

*prepares to fight to the death defending Sandinista*

I think everything else on Sandinista! sounds fantastic compared to the track with their kids singing Career Opportunities. It's Big Audio Crap-o-mite.

Here's one that always bugs me:

Morphine: Head with Wings
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:15 PM on August 5, 2004

oh, and:
belly//"red" and "king"
both of these are especially annoying when you realise "lilith" was left off of king to make way for "red".

it's becoming painfully obvious how old i am. i'm going to stfu now.
posted by pxe2000 at 4:26 PM on August 5, 2004

Kiss. Beth. Over and over again.
posted by ubi at 4:47 PM on August 5, 2004

heh, I also love the tom waits, bette midler never talk to starngers track. Bar tender, I would soooo like a manhatten. In fact the only waits track I actively dislike (pre BM as mentioned earlier) is Ice cream man. Post BM I think Mule variations is a pretty damn fine album.

Like to see that the the two things that really egt mefi riled are michael moore and anything to do with musical taste. What does that say about us?

But Career Opportunities on Sandanista has got to be on that CD.
posted by ciderwoman at 4:50 PM on August 5, 2004

Oh, and just to add, people should really post their lists on Nylons site as well as here.
posted by ciderwoman at 4:51 PM on August 5, 2004

Elvis Costello - Every Day I Write the Book

"I have witnessed, firsthand, the record's ability to clear a nightclub's dancefloor in seconds." --Elvis Costello, notes to the Rykodisc reissue of "Punch the Clock".

Then again, I kind of enjoy the slightly campy, live, 'rockin' version of the song on the same disc.
posted by gimonca at 5:06 PM on August 5, 2004

I think everything else on Sandinista! sounds fantastic compared to the track with their kids singing Career Opportunities. It's Big Audio Crap-o-mite.

Wasn't that Guns of Brixton? *unsure*

Peter Gabriel's Kiss That Frog. Yeah, it was cool when Bruno Bettleheim was talking about how fairy tales are partly about subliminally teaching children about sex, but you really didn't have to go that far, Peter. Kiss your frog, indeed. 'He's all puffed up.' Yeah, right.
posted by jokeefe at 5:09 PM on August 5, 2004

it's becoming painfully obvious how old i am. i'm going to stfu now.
posted by pxe2000 at 4:26 PM PST on August 5

You and me, both. I think I'll just draw up the rocking chair and shake my cane at the kids on my lawn for a while.

(oh, and I think that's Bettelheim. Oh well.)

Ravel's Bolero. Even he came to hate it.
posted by jokeefe at 5:12 PM on August 5, 2004

jokeefe: i love that you cited bettleheim. off-topic, have you read any of maria tatar's work? she's great if you like bettleheim in theory but can't stand his post-freud ubermasculinity.
posted by pxe2000 at 5:30 PM on August 5, 2004

Peter Gabriel can do no wrong and Kiss that Frog is funny damnit.

Then again, "My head sounds like that" ....yes, he can do great wrong.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:41 PM on August 5, 2004

"Mother" by The Police

Now that's a 10-4 good buddy.

I think it's 7/4, actually.
posted by crunchburger at 5:58 PM on August 5, 2004

ubi, you evil bastard. My gf says that if she comes home and hears me playing "Beth" that she knows I'm in a sentimental, romantic mood.

complete sidetrack: why dosen't somebody revive those cut-and-paste records that Buchanan & Goodman did up until the 70's? I think the current climate would give us a wealth of material.

CunningLinguist: I like Peter Gabriel too, but he did testify as a character witness for Ira Einhorn which did diminish my respect for him a notch.
posted by jonmc at 6:00 PM on August 5, 2004

Sonic Youth - My Friend Goo
That's all I have to say, really.
posted by Jimbob at 6:07 PM on August 5, 2004

i usually don't buy bad cds, i have noticed alot of 70s songs here, classic rock flops? :)
so if i had to pick i would have to say most of the Velvet Revolver-Contraband pretty much sucks.
various Front Line Assembly songs
the absolute worst (i don't know i have it, i suspect gremlins) is the entire Kiss- Psycho Circus
posted by joemeek at 6:16 PM on August 5, 2004

Ugh.

All the tracks on Dead Can Dance's self titled album (their first).
That big-band number by Bjork
Chariots of Fire (Theme) by Vangelis (his other stuff is SO much better)
Family Man by Mike Oldfield
Jean-Michel Jarre's "September" I think.
posted by krisjohn at 6:23 PM on August 5, 2004

boy, reading this thread makes me realize i have awful taste--i love at least 40 or 50 of the songs listed here as awful--send me all the songs you guys hate--i'll enjoy them so you don't have to. : >
posted by amberglow at 6:29 PM on August 5, 2004

Worst Tom Waits song is Pasties and a G-string.

At least Never Talk to Strangers has the line "Looks like you spent the night in a trench".
posted by Hildago at 6:34 PM on August 5, 2004

1) Nick Cave - When I first Came to Town
– because without it Henry’s Dream would have been perfect.
2) Chemical Brothers – Block Rockin’ Beats
–it has a whistle
3) Iggy and the Stooges – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell
– its just not worthy of that album
4) Smiths – Vicar in a Tutu
5) The Clash – Lover’s Rock
– those lyrics, wtf ?
6) Tom Waits – I don’t Wanna Grow up
7) The Cure – Mint Car
8) Elvis Costello – Glitter Gulch
– worse than country? A: british people doing country (see also:U2)
9) My Bloody Valentine – You made me Realise
–I can’t believe they used to suck
10) Jazz Butcher – The Devil Is my Friend
– I can’t remember why it used to be funny instead of just irritating
– oh, and its british people doing country
11) Shriekback – Suck
– hey, they called it that, not me.
12) Pixies – Havalina
12) Stan Rogers – First Christmas Away From Home
– I’m sure you can imagine . . .
13) The Nihilist Spasm Band – Kiss the Duck
– its hard to pick just one, though
14) Bill Murray’s karaoke version of Roxy Music’s More Than This from Lost inTranslation
15) Bauhaus – Telegram Sam
–I don’t think I own anything that sucks more than this, even if I include the jungle tracks

Juicecake, I always feared I was the only one who bought Dali’s Car.
posted by Zetetics at 6:58 PM on August 5, 2004

Radiohead- Punch Up at a Wedding. This from a band where I normally, and quite regularly, fall down and genuflect before every note, nay, every little squiggly electronic effect. Guys, it's boring. Unworthy.

I hate you. I hate you. Die.

Sorry, I'm obligated to say that. See, on At Ease, where I'm a mod, there's a running All Your Base-style in-joke that "Punch-up is just RIPE to be a 10-15 minute live jam." With photoshops and everything. It got so out of hand that I made a joking petition to get the band to play such a jam, and it actually got a good deal of votes. Punch-Up isn't my favorite song of theirs, but it's in the top 20 let's say, and I think it'd be awesome if we could get them to do it, no thanks to curmudeons like you ;)
posted by abcde at 7:10 PM on August 5, 2004

Also, on two other RH-related notes, "Killer Cars" is available as b-sides both in a loud punky version and a slow acoustic version. Some people really like one and hate the other. Also, "How Do You?" is worse than any other song Radiohead has done. (Yet I still like it, is how much of a fanboy I am). Punch Up is clearly vastly better, though..
posted by abcde at 7:12 PM on August 5, 2004

12. Nirvana, Pennyroyal Tea
13. Aretha Franklin, Freeway of Love
14. Prince, Love Come Quick
15. Madonna, American Pie
16. Pink Floyd, On the Turning Away
posted by swift at 7:22 PM on August 5, 2004

The Stone Roses, "The Second Coming." An entire album, presented as-is, engineered to be a cavalcade of let-downs.
posted by stonerose at 7:30 PM on August 5, 2004

"Punch-up is just RIPE to be a 10-15 minute live jam."

Radiohead should totally do a jam band side project. Lots of stranded Phish fans would pay for that. Listen to the music play, man!
posted by crunchburger at 7:57 PM on August 5, 2004

I've been listening to a lot of Frank Zappa lately, so I'll throw in "Valley Girl" or "Heavenly Bank Account". Hell, most of the so-called social commentary or satire material, except for "Disco Boy" and a player to be named later. Yeah, Frank, stick it to those TV evangelists! FZ wrote hundreds of songs, I'm sure there are more bad ones in there.
posted by crunchburger at 8:04 PM on August 5, 2004

Props calling Nick Cave on "God is in the House" That whole album lost me, and I thought I'd always buy everything Cave would put out. He's probably back on track, and Blood Money suggests Waits might be too, even if it was written a while ago.

The Minutemen are probably my favorite band, but most of Project Mersh leaves me cold.

I own the Clash's Cut the Crap. I like "the Dictator." It's a daring mess. The rest is just a mess. The football chants of 'We are the Clash" might be the lowest point of that whole fake Clash low point. Though, as someone else pointed out, the much-touted-at-the-time B.A.D. doesn't hold up either.

The Reverend Horton Heat never fails to drag down an otherwise great record with one track of utter stupidity. The "Entertainer" with farting noises is his all time low. (Actually, Night in the Box is the one b.s. free RHH.)

The Pixies Dig For Fire. They rhymed "fire" with "desire". That's only allowed once per decade (same goes for "self" with "shelf") and PJ Harvey got the 1990s covered a few year later. They were a great band, but not enough to pull off fire-desire.
posted by bendybendy at 8:32 PM on August 5, 2004

I don't have time to think up a whole list, but I will say this: I love love love XTC, at least the 1977-1989 era, and from that, I hate hate hate "Pink Thing" (from Oranges and Lemons - makes "Kiss that Frog" sound like a quadruple entendre) and "Dear God" (from Skylarking - wow, good point, Andy, nobody's ever pointed out that God shouldn't allow suffering). Then again, everything from Nonsuch onward seems to me to be redundant pap.

Oh yeah, one more. The Roches - "Frosty the Snowman." No, really. That's gotta be the worst thing ever.
posted by soyjoy at 9:26 PM on August 5, 2004

Like others, I'm not sure I could compile such a list. Not easily. Perhaps while listening to my favorite albums I could make an effort to note which songs I dislike. But pretty much nothing comes to off the top of my head.

On the other hand, I find it interesting to note which songs other people have mentioned that I feel are being unfairly maligned:

Louis Armstrong, "What a Wonderful World"
Beatles, "Revolution 9"
Radiohead, "Creep"
Doors, "The End"
AC/DC, "Big Balls"
Flaming Lips, "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 2"
Foreigner, "Hot Blooded"
Joe Jackson, "Jumpin' Jive" (album)
REM, "Stand"
Smashing Pumpkins, "Tonight, Tonight"

...a common demoninator for many or most of these is that they were popular songs, often radio tracks. I won't hold that against a song. Usually, with good artists, their radio hits—even though they are radio hits—have something of the quality of the band in them that makes them rise above the radio pablum.

The Flaming Lips, REM, and Radiohead tracks are all tracks that could be considered contrary to the rest of the artists' oeuvre and are often disliked by their fans. But I like pretty much of the rest of these artists' work and I still like these tracks.

I love "Jumpin' Jive" and it's one of my favorite JJ records. Revolution 9 seems sorta precious today, but in historical context I think it's great. And I think that its preciousness aside, it's still a good track. The Foreigner track is from the generally worst-regarded band on that list. But, hey, I for some reason like them. Maybe it was the time and place and hormones. Or something.

oh, and thanks for mentioning "tonight, tonight" as it prompted me to put on "Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness" which I haven't listened to in a long time and am really enjoying

On preview: I haven't heard the Roches do "Frosty the Snowman", but surely it's coyly ironic. Surely?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:38 PM on August 5, 2004

Oh, and sequential, note their other two car-crash themed songs, Stupid Car and Airbag.
posted by abcde at 9:40 PM on August 5, 2004

Okay, I was one of the people who called out "What a Wonderful World" because, frankly, it's the sappiest piece of music ever written, and today is rarely listened to but more often used for soundtracks, weddings, etc. I don't doubt that Armstrong had positive motives for recording it, and he sings it better than anyone, but now it lives in a realm somewhere between "The Star-Spangled Banner" and "Over the Rainbow," just waiting to make people all aw-shucks misty-eyed. What an innocent time those were! What a wise black man he was! Will it ever be the same? It's music for teletubbies, and if I hear it at another wedding reception I'm going to vomit tubby custard.
posted by swift at 11:05 PM on August 5, 2004

Also:

Tonight, Tonight :: Smashing Pumpkins as November Rain :: Guns 'n Roses
posted by swift at 11:07 PM on August 5, 2004

I managed to know nothing about GnR, so that comparison means nothing to me. btw, the notation is a:b::c:d

I just wasted a half-hour of my life googling "What a Wonderful World" + "soundtrack" because I was sure there was one film where I thought it was used to very good, ironic effect. "Twelve Monkeys" appears early on in the google results, but I didn't think it was it. Then, however, I did a soundtrack search on IMDB for that title, and got a much more managable list. And, I suppose, it must be "Twelve Monkeys" I'm thinking of. Weird. Anyway, you're so right about it being used for weddings. Even though I searched for the song name along with "soundtrack", there were many, many results that mentioned the song in the context of weddings.

I've not attended many weddings, so... But, you know, if you compare it to the rest of the universe of oft-heard-at-wedding songs, particularly the really bad pop songs people like—well, it doesn't seem so bad, does it? A list of awful wedding songs. Now that's an idea.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:38 PM on August 5, 2004

Radiohead- Punch Up at a Wedding. This from a band where I normally, and quite regularly, fall down and genuflect before every note, nay, every little squiggly electronic effect. Guys, it's boring. Unworthy.

I hate you. I hate you. Die.

Sorry, I'm obligated to say that. See, on At Ease, where I'm a mod, there's a running All Your Base-style in-joke that "Punch-up is just RIPE to be a 10-15 minute live jam." With photoshops and everything. It got so out of hand that I made a joking petition to get the band to play such a jam, and it actually got a good deal of votes. Punch-Up isn't my favorite song of theirs, but it's in the top 20 let's say, and I think it'd be awesome if we could get them to do it, no thanks to curmudeons like you ;)

*dies laughing*

It had to happen. One of the greatest ever memes from atease makes it onto Metafilter. Don't worry, Metaxy-- I've already signed the petition. I know that song is RIPE-- I still don't like it. Though maybe as a 10-15 minute live jam, I'd change my mind. Except that I'd happily trade any chance of a 10-15 minute Punchup with a 10-15 minute Cuttooth.... I could die happy then, I think. :D

Yep, I'm around atease and know Ade, too... Small world, no? :)
posted by jokeefe at 11:51 PM on August 5, 2004

btw, the notation is a:b::c:d

thanks
posted by swift at 12:09 AM on August 6, 2004

"What a Wonderful World" is also in Bowling for Columbine and Good Morning Vietnam, but I did probably overstate the soundtrack part of my argument.
posted by swift at 12:25 AM on August 6, 2004

Albums to be sent to the incinerator (if at all possible):

Air Supply --- pretty much everything
Sonny Bono, Laugh at Me
Pat Boone -- pretty much everything
The Clash, Cut the Crap
Phil Collins, Face Value & No Jacket Required (pretty much everything really)
Neil Diamond, The Christmas Album
Elvis, Having Fun with Elvis on Stage
Frampton Comes Alive
Terry Jacks, "Seasons in the Sun"
Kenny G -- pretty much everything
Elton John, The One
Huey Lewis & The News, Sports
Dave Matthews Band -- pretty much everything
Metallica, Load
Metallica, St. Anger
New Kids on the Block, Hangin' Tough
The Yoko Ono tracks on Double Fantasy
Red Hot Chilli Peppers, One Hot Minute
Lou Reed, Metal Machine Music
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band -- Movie Soundtrack
John Tesh -- pretty much everything
Justin Timberlake, Justified
Van Halen 3
Bruce Willis, The Return of Bruno
posted by ed at 1:12 AM on August 6, 2004

don't be hatin' on having fun with elvis on-stage, ed. for some of us, that's the best thing elvis ever recorded.
posted by pxe2000 at 4:58 AM on August 6, 2004

To weigh in on the Beatles: (warning: Paul-bashing Lennon-loving agitprop ahead) I agree that songs like Martha My Dear and She's Leaving Home are drek. The author of these songs went on to pen Silly Love Songs. However, Just Like Starting Over isn't so bad. The vocal swoops in the melody line a few bars ahead of the song title words redeem the song, IMO.

BTW, the John Coltrane Quartet never released any stinkers.
posted by kozad at 5:12 AM on August 6, 2004

Talking Heads - Remain in Light - the Overload
Sonic sludge to round out one of the finest albums ever made

Brian Eno - The Drop - whole album
What jazz would sound like if it were played by people completely constructed from Lego

Bob Mould - Black Sheets of Rain - whole album
Released between the incomparable "Workbook" and the first Sugar album. Self-indulgent rage with the volume turned up to eleven.

Stone Roses - Stone Roses - "Elizabeth My Dear"
Little known fact - skipping this filler allowed you to fit the whole album on one side of a C90 cassette.

Shriekback - Oil and Gold - Malaria
Clumsy, heavy-handed pseudo-funk. Must be skipped when introducing people to this excellent album
posted by thatwhichfalls at 5:22 AM on August 6, 2004

Bob Dylan, "Country Pie"
posted by maurice at 9:41 AM on August 6, 2004

thatwhichfalls, you got there ahead of me (though I had my chance last night and was too fixated on XTC to remember my Eno-related misfires): Overload is exactly that. I can't figure out why they put such a flaccid piece of half-assed garbage at the end of such an inspired album. I mean, I get the tempo thing (Side one: Fast, faster, fastest; Side two: Moderate, slow, slower, slower still, comatose) but the song just reeks. I actually make it a practice when playing the album to put it on random and keep restarting it till track 8 comes up first, then skip it so I can enjoy the album without dreading that crap at the end.

And yeah, The Drop, can't believe I paid money for that thinking it would be in the Eno canon along with Another Green World or even Taking Tiger Mountain. It's breathtakingly cynical, even more so than Nerve Net, and as a lot of it is delegated to his proteges, should have carried Eno's name as producer rather than "Artist."

I also can't stand "Zombie Demons" on the first (and otherwise excellent) Rise Robots Rise album, but I doubt anyone here shares that particular obsession.
posted by soyjoy at 9:47 AM on August 6, 2004

Has anyone mentioned "Candle in the Wind" from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road? Even in its original, non-Princess Diana version, it's a piece of crap--as though Modern Elton transported himself back in time so he could ruin a great double album by Classic Elton.
posted by Man-Thing at 9:56 AM on August 6, 2004

Oh yeah - EB, it's on Three Kings, their otherwise fine album of Christmas songs. It is in no way, shape or form "coyly ironic" - and stop calling me "Surely."

It's not that they sing it badly, it's that its overlaid with a passel of "cute" kids pretending (poorly) to "laugh" and have "fun" during the song, coming up with "spontaneous" comments and other corporate-managed tripe. God, I hate that track.
posted by soyjoy at 10:15 AM on August 6, 2004

Ugh....how could I have forgotten "Lover's Rock"? A big, pus-filled boil on the face of an otherwise almost flawless album
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:40 AM on August 6, 2004

The Stone Roses, "The Second Coming." An entire album, presented as-is, engineered to be a cavalcade of let-downs.

Disagree. "Love Spreads" cranks.
posted by kgasmart at 11:04 AM on August 6, 2004

I just wasted a half-hour of my life googling "What a Wonderful World" + "soundtrack" because I was sure there was one film where I thought it was used to very good, ironic effect.

That would probably be Good Morning, Vietnam. The song plays as we see villages being napalmed and stuff.
posted by deadcowdan at 11:18 AM on August 6, 2004

I'm a HUGE Peter Gabriel fan, but I have never been able to stomach "Kiss of Life," and I have not grown fond of "The Barry Williams Show." Tori Amos, "The Waitress." Moby, "Body Rock." As has been mentioned already, pretty much any Dead Can Dance with vocals by Brendan Perry. The Eagles, "Pretty Maids All in a Row" and "Seven Bridges Road." Future Sound of London, "Central Industrial." Tangerine Dream, anything post-Franke.

And I was going to include all Pink Floyd from 1987-present, but I really don't consider that outfit to be Pink Floyd at all - they're just squatting on the name.
posted by deadcowdan at 11:34 AM on August 6, 2004

12) Pixies – Havalina

Interesting to see the different picks for the Pixies. Havalina is easily one of my favourite Pixies songs, and even, one of my favourite songs period. I hope they perform it at the concert in Toronto...

Zetetics, I always feared I'd meet someone else who purchased Dalis Car. I even own a subsequent ep and sometime after having purchased the vinyl version, ventured cross the border to Buffalo NY, to purchase the compact disc. The proprietor was amused.

Seeing as how you don't care for British people doing country (though surely you can't include the Irish as they were bloody well responsible for it) I have to wonder how you'd respond to Korean or Swedish Reggae.

I notice people citiing the Cure here. I saw them live. That spoiled everything. That too would make for an interesting top 10 or more...
posted by juiceCake at 2:13 PM on August 6, 2004

1) let me sing your blues away - grateful dead
2) mother - the police
3) a man needs a maid - neil young
4) holly wants to go to california - funkadelic
5) bron y aur stomp - led zeppelin
6) love you to - the beatles
7) i'm a werewolf baby - the tragically hip
8) everybody i love you - csn&y
9) otis and marlena - joni mitchell
10) damn near all of relayer - yes
11) where the boys go - rolling stones
12) we will fall - the stooges
13) lovers rock - the clash
14) big beat and the texas radio - the doors
15) changes - black sabbath

most of these are inexplicable lapses of taste or quality control by otherwise good musicians ... i'll admit the stones and the csn&y songs are merely mediocre ... and the doors song would have been alright if not for the horrible chorus ... and that yes album is mostly aural torture to me ... and i liked tales from topographic oceans and most of their earlier stuff
posted by pyramid termite at 4:37 PM on August 6, 2004

10) damn near all of relayer - yes
that yes album is mostly aural torture to me ... and i liked tales from topographic oceans and most of their earlier stuff

Ah, pyramid termite, surely you meant to say that anything recorded by Yes subsequent to Relayer sucks (which it does). The guitar breaks on Relayer kick ass. That album and Close to the Edge (and some early Genesis and Gentle Giant) are all that's left of my high-school infatuation with prog. Good times, good times. Hash at five bucks a gram. Yep. *wanders off nostalgically*
posted by jokeefe at 4:50 PM on August 6, 2004

I notice people citiing the Cure here. I saw them live. That spoiled everything. That too would make for an interesting top 10 or more...
posted by juiceCake at 2:13 PM PST on August 6

Bands you loved until you saw them live? Interesting.

I saw the Cure at Coachella.... time has not been kind to Robert Smith.
posted by jokeefe at 4:51 PM on August 6, 2004

If I may be so bold, I won a similar contest over at Plinko.net. Results here.
posted by shotsy at 5:40 PM on August 6, 2004

i was a big nine inch nails fan around the time the downward spiral came out -- kind of went part and parcel with my deep and profound appreciation for tori amos (at that point). i saw them at the famous boston garden show where the crowd destroyed the chairs in the front row at trent's request. from the nosebleeds, he didn't appear righteously angry...he seemed bored. that kind of spelled the end for me.
posted by pxe2000 at 6:42 PM on August 6, 2004

I wouldn't expect NiN to be any good live. I loved him from well before TDS era—Fixed is one of my favorite CDs, ever. But, you know. I try very, very hard to disregard the backlash against any band I've independently discovered which later becomes popular. The backlash against NiN, however, has tainted it for me. I'm embarassed to admit I like Reznor, which is stupid, really. That should be another category of lists: bands whose pop culture popularity so exceeded their underlying virtue that the resulting backlash made it difficult or impossible to recognize that virtue, such as it is.

Part temperment, part being a musician myself, I've never been that much of a concertgoer unless the artist is an unusually good live performer. I'd have liked to see Tori Amos for that reason—by all accounts, she puts on a great show. But some bands should never be seen live. Conversely, some should only be seen live.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:33 PM on August 6, 2004