Comments on: This changes everything!

This changes everything!

tranquileye — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 10:35:49 -0800

By: tranquileye

tranquileye — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 10:41:10 -0800

Links to Windows Media file.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 10:42:08 -0800

if only with they had encapsulated the sinusoid decrustulator in something other than orthoganal modulated windows media, which really hoovers the engorged priapal member.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 10:48:05 -0800

Let me get this straight, every seventh conductor is being connected by a non-reversible tremiopipe to the differential girdle spring on the up end of the grammameters? IT'S ABOUT TIME.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 10:49:06 -0800

(great link, maybe one of the best laughs I've had in weeks thanks thanks)

By: kickingtheground

kickingtheground — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 10:51:53 -0800

My dad works at Rockwell - I could probably get you guys a special MeFi discount on these things if you order three or more. (Great link, btw.)

By: shoepal

shoepal — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 10:57:15 -0800

wtf? oh, and what quonsar said.

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:08:36 -0800

You mean, this unilateral phase detector... it synchronizes target RAM meters?

By: LairBob

LairBob — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:15:28 -0800

BRILLIANT! (The sad thing is, you know that announcer guy is so good at that, because he makes his living doing it for real on product reels like that. OK, maybe not sad, if he likes his job, but still...)

By: mathowie

mathowie — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:18:35 -0800

I swore this was fake until the end, until the real copyright notice and date stamp. This should be used in marketing course to show when industry jargon gets to be too much. It no longer sounds like english about 30 seconds in.

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:22:17 -0800

I, for one, welcome our retro-incabulatory unilateral phase detractors.

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:24:20 -0800

Also: Nice tie.

By: baltimore

baltimore — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:27:57 -0800

Call me Mister Skeptical, but this just reeks of a gag reel that was shot on the set of an actual product promo shoot. I can just imagine the writer and the director sitting behind the camera during the real shoot, commenting on how well this announcer is handling some of the complex jargon. A lightbulb goes off over their heads, the writer hunkers down, scribbling wildly, then thrusts the paper at the voice guy. "Let's see what you can do with this version." And then, as they say on that other (currently commercially controversial) link farm, hilarity ensues...

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:35:43 -0800

This is definitely fake. "Surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing"? That's not jargon, it's gibberish.

By: gottabefunky

gottabefunky — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:36:46 -0800

Is he reading that off a teleprompter, or did he memorize it?

By: jcruelty

jcruelty — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:38:42 -0800

googled several of the terms he uses, to no avail. 99% sure he's taking the piss. if not, can someone please explain it in layman's terms?

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:39:04 -0800

My guess is it was done by the guys at Rockwell as a joke for a company outing, or something. I work in super-high-tech, and our Marketing dept does spoof films like this all the time.

By: adamrice

adamrice — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:41:53 -0800

I laughed until I cried--I have to deal with press releases for high-tech widgets almost every day, and this cut really close to home.

By: jpburns

jpburns — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:43:26 -0800

Thanks, jpoulos. I really had some doubts...

By: O9scar

O9scar — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:44:48 -0800

The encabulator joke dates back to the mid-40s, apparently.

By: baltimore

baltimore — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:45:51 -0800

Yeah, I have to agree with jpoulos. This is too well done to match my off-the-cuff scenario. But it's definitely a fake....

By: Etaoin Shrdlu

Etaoin Shrdlu — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:47:31 -0800

I, for one, don't understand what new functionality Rockwell's retro-encabulator includes beyond that which GE's turbo-encabulator successfully implemented in 1944.

By: Satapher

Satapher — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:52:09 -0800

This is definitely fake. jpolous wins the captain obvious cap!!! yay horray!

By: Etaoin Shrdlu

Etaoin Shrdlu — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:52:22 -0800

And what O9scar said...

By: Kwantsar

Kwantsar — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:53:18 -0800

You need this to power a bananaphone, right?

By: taumeson

taumeson — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 11:56:29 -0800

encabulator malleable logarithmic casing verdict: awesome engineering in-joke. kinda like how comedians have "the aristocrats"

By: chrid

chrid — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 12:10:27 -0800

This is definitely fake. This thread is obviously a highly sophisticated double bluff metacomedy which is completely over my head. Either that or there are some REALLY STUPID PEOPLE on the loose. I loved the video. Those Rockwell guys and their retro-encabulator! Haw haw!

By: languagehat

languagehat — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 12:16:16 -0800

I hear Social Text has ordered a gross of them. It's amazing how gullible people are in this supposedly hip and sophisticated crowd. Or, what chrid said.

By: Outlawyr

Outlawyr — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 12:35:13 -0800

See also "The Computer Dinner" sketch with an early version of Cookie Monster eating a talking comptuer using pseudo computer lingo. It's on the DVD Muppets Magic

By: paddbear

paddbear — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 12:37:50 -0800

A malleable logarithmic casing, as we all know, is an absolute necessity for time travel.

By: mzanatta

mzanatta — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 12:42:20 -0800

Oh, who doesn't own an interositer these days?

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 12:53:09 -0800

Thanks, jpoulos. I really had some doubts... Perfect day to post this, TGIF. Use to distribute these products and even wired the panels...aw the automation industry. Understood his spell until the end...expected the guy to pitch a smaller unit.

By: inpHilltr8r

inpHilltr8r — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 13:07:42 -0800

This is one of those posts that sorts the geeks from the nerds.

By: PigAlien

PigAlien — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 13:07:48 -0800

This was written by the same guys who wrote Star Trek: Voyager.

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 13:09:31 -0800

Oh, thomcat, with his ability to successfully navigate his lingual cavity through that hyperjargonic sesquipedalian minefield, I'm sure that announcer has no familiarity whatsoever with small units.

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 13:19:14 -0800

to successfully navigate his lingual cavity through that hyperjargonic sesquipedalian minefield Could never repeat him, yet that's easy compared to navigating the wiring panels' PLCs to the components. Even the designing engineers were impressed watching it done. What size do you think the PLC's CPU is and the quantity of Input/Output being used in the control panel?

By: Steve_at_Linnwood

Steve_at_Linnwood — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 13:28:09 -0800

...so fitted that ambafasant lunar wayne shaft, that side fumbling was effectively prevented... I always hate fumbling on my ambafasant lunar wayne shaft!

By: leapfrog

leapfrog — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 13:52:59 -0800

Oh, we don't use retro-encabulators any more. The capacitive directance coupling is so 1945. Besides, you just can't get good prefabulated amulite any more, and that just ruins the magneto-reluctance qualities of the lotus-0-delta winding. We've kept the hydrocoptic marzelvanes, but the ambifacient lunar waneshaft is now used in a positive side fumbling configuration with a single-ended girdlespring. Now the logarithmic malleable casing is made of standard tetryliodohexamine.

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 14:03:58 -0800

What size do you think the PLC's CPU is and the quantity of Input/Output being used in the control panel? From the width of the tie... I'd say at least eight inches. Maybe nine.

By: erratic frog

erratic frog — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 14:09:18 -0800

Harrumph! Fnord, I say! SMIB ~eFrog

By: islander

islander — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 14:21:54 -0800

Hydrocoptic marzelvanes are all well and good but does it have LRF support?

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 14:33:54 -0800

We've kept the hydrocoptic marzelvanes, but the ambifacient lunar waneshaft is now used in a positive side fumbling configuration with a single-ended girdlespring. Karl H. Marx on a bicycle, man, that'll make you blow the starboard power coupling for sure! Even the simplest idiot knows that you need a *differential* girdlespring, or at least a Philbin-compensated one rated to at least 28.3 kilogrignrs, to keep the plasma flow buffers from transducing into phased oscillations*. I mean, come on, next you'll be saying that you don't need to grease the Markov chain on this mythical contraption of yours. *which would of course cause a cascade reaction in the secondary control photonics, forcing the user to reconfigure the main deflector array to emit a stream of yakkoton particles or suffer the consequences... it's situations like that that will make you glad you hired a union encabulator technician.

By: fluffycreature

fluffycreature — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 15:46:58 -0800

Beautiful. Back in the early 1900's there was a group of mathematicians who only wanted to do math and not deal with the questions from the other academics. They came up with Nicolas Bourbaki , a fake name for the group to publish their papers under. They eventually found a mumbling double-talker to give lectures on their theorems and deductions. Of course hilarity developed when other academics claimed to follow and understand a talk by the great Bourbaki. Geek or nerd? Back when I was on college radio, my radio name was Nicolas Bourbaki. I was the product of a great professor for my math history course. Double speak is the best and a highly difficult thing to do. This is a great thread, thanks for all the extra links!

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 17:06:06 -0800

ok, but ... it vibrates?

By: ed

ed — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 20:27:19 -0800

I particularly like the cutaways to the hand gesture closeups. Well, THAT explains everything!

By: drywall

drywall — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 20:29:11 -0800

I hear Social Text has ordered a gross of them. Funniest line on the thread, IMHO, but also a very "in" joke. Beautiful, really...

By: crunchland

crunchland — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 21:43:57 -0800

Based on this, this joke goes back to the early '40s.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 21:45:25 -0800

shit. just like O9scar and Etaoin Shrdlu pointed out hours ago.

By: snarfodox

snarfodox — Fri, 06 Aug 2004 23:05:05 -0800

This was the best post ever.