Preparation T

August 8, 2004 3:02 PM

Are You Ready?September will be National Preparedness Month, with an announcement on Sept. 9th. Throughout September 2004, the US Department of Homeland Security, American Red Cross, American Prepared Campaign, the National Association of Broadcasters, the US Department of Education and other partners, will host a series of events to highlight the importance of citizen emergency preparedness. Nothing like keeping us scared, huh? And it's only 3 years since 9/11--you think they could have done this sooner maybe? There's a skimpy calendar (PDF), with Parade Magazine, Starbucks and NASCAR mentioned. And for the kids, a Ready Deputy contest.
posted by amberglow (28 comments total)

Did anybody else notice that the communications plan includes data like everyone's social security number? It seems to me that these kits are begging for identity thieves to move in and just break into the larders.
posted by shagoth at 3:36 PM on August 8, 2004

Forom the calander: Sept 11, NASCAR race in Richmond.
posted by LouReedsSon at 4:04 PM on August 8, 2004

What pussy actually believes that being prepared means living in fear?
posted by techgnollogic at 4:20 PM on August 8, 2004

And aren't they jumping the gun by getting everyone all scared a bit early? The election isn't until November.
posted by ChrisTN at 4:27 PM on August 8, 2004

Winning school also gets U.S. Department of Homeland Security Secretary, Tom Ridge as your principal for a day!

Yay! Orange Alert in the cafeteria!
posted by grabbingsand at 4:32 PM on August 8, 2004

apparently homeland security takes a dim view of september 1 - 8.
posted by quonsar at 4:33 PM on August 8, 2004

What idiot actually believes that living in fear means being prepared?
posted by RylandDotNet at 4:39 PM on August 8, 2004

huh, well I will be prepared, believe you me. There's room for me to save one other person - I am taking applications now.
posted by madamjujujive at 4:55 PM on August 8, 2004

*COUGH*
posted by quonsar at 4:56 PM on August 8, 2004

now that's scary, juju. I wonder how their sales are.
posted by amberglow at 4:58 PM on August 8, 2004

If the power grid fails for more than a week..."You're trash without a Kalashnikov".
posted by JohnR at 5:21 PM on August 8, 2004

Better quit eating them bean burritos, Q. Rebreather or no rebreather, it'll be hell in there.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:36 PM on August 8, 2004

It's very obvious to me that George Bush was annointed by God to protect America from the heathens. Stop bitching. If you were a true christian, you would stand behind the president that God chose, not the people.
posted by Keyser Soze at 6:06 PM on August 8, 2004

'Now honey,' he said, 'as long as we're in here we might as well have some fun, dont'cha think?'

'But I keep bumping my head!' she protested.

'Just lie reeeeal still,' he replied
posted by NationalKato at 6:23 PM on August 8, 2004

Is it that Americans in general are stupid, or that their government just assumes that they are? Utter blatant political games like this (and all the others), and They The People are just expected to bend over again? I don't get it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:47 PM on August 8, 2004

Both, stav. We're trusting, and they're manipulative.
posted by amberglow at 6:49 PM on August 8, 2004

madamjjj, that "Quantum Sleeper" looks like a Murphy Waterbed... do they really expect us to believe quarter-inch plywood is going to protect us from much of anything? Where's the lead shield and silicone seal? (No, not THAT kind of silicone...)

Anyway, in the words of Lehrer the Bard:
"Be Prepared! And be careful not to do
Your good deeds when there's no one watching you."

And speaking of Ol' Tom, when do we get around to National Brotherhood Week?
posted by wendell at 7:31 PM on August 8, 2004

I love how the Quantum Sleeper site says that the costs for one "are estimated at" x. Guess they haven't built/sold any yet.

Plus, I've never heard of a "57 magnum" caliber bullet before. Damn, that's a big shell.
posted by Vidiot at 8:11 PM on August 8, 2004

Boy, that Quantum Sleeper's got everything you could want...

until you need a toilet.
posted by Zed_Lopez at 10:19 PM on August 8, 2004

What pussy actually believes that being prepared means living in fear?

There isn't anything wrong with being prepared. However, when our government gets us into wars that do nothing but fan the flames of terrorism, offer no explanation why, other than those attacked by the United States were attacked in self-defense and then it goes and sets up a "holiday" so we can all remember how in danger we are -- it seems a little disengenuous. Mormons for instance, have been "preparing" themselves for over a century. My Scottish, protestant great-grandfather did not prepare himself likewise, nor did he pass down any "preparedness" tips and traditions unto my more recent forebears. Nevertheless, here we are. Prepared Mormons and iconoclastic me sharing the same arrow of time.

Remember how great it was, back just after 9/11, all of the pieces about "New Yorkers selflessly reaching out"? Remember all those wonderful and courageous and heroic things they told us we were? How prepared was anybody? I'll give you an answer: As prepared as they were gonna be. These are things that happen you can't do anything about.

On the west coast, we have to be prepared for earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. Nevertheless, does the government go out and try to provoke earthquakes and eruptions, thus making it all the more important that we BE PREPARED? No. But here we are, over here in the Pacific Northwest, prepared as ever, let me tell you, for the BIG ONE.

You're never prepared. It's best you be smart, pragmatic and for god's sake, not give up a zest for life. That's the only preparedness that will come in handy. A stack of Campbell's soup will only last you so long.
posted by crasspastor at 10:45 PM on August 8, 2004

apparently homeland security takes a dim view of september 1 - 8.

Yeah, but its what they're launching on the 9th that you should be really worried about.
posted by biffa at 2:41 AM on August 9, 2004

Burt the Turtle:"Remember what to do, friends. Now tell me right out loud. What are you supposed to do when you see the flash?"

Everyone: "Duck and cover!" (Streaming Quicktime movie)

My apologies to everyone who will be singing it in the office until Friday.
posted by planetkyoto at 3:33 AM on August 9, 2004

does the government go out and try to provoke earthquakes and eruptions, thus making it all the more important that we BE PREPARED?

And are you not endlessly thankful for that? Imagine the feds becoming interested in what's going on over in the west? It'd have to be a bad thing!
posted by five fresh fish at 9:16 AM on August 9, 2004

So maybe they should've called it National Be Smart, Pragmatic and For God's Sake, Don't Give Up Your Zest For Life Month.

Owning a smoke detector and a fire extinguisher and knowing what to do in case of a fire is pragmatic and smart. Owning a fire suit and oxygen tanks in case your toast catches fire is a little overboard. Let's see what these National Preparedness Month people suggest before we denounce it as fearmongering.

And does California really have little to say about earthquake and wildfire preparedness? There's plenty of info in North Carolina about what to do in a hurricane. I don't think we have a holiday for it - but maybe "Peak Hurricane Season" is enough.
posted by techgnollogic at 10:30 AM on August 9, 2004

Owning a smoke detector and a fire extinguisher and knowing what to do in case of a fire is pragmatic and smart. Owning a fire suit and oxygen tanks in case your toast catches fire is a little overboard. Let's see what these National Preparedness Month people suggest before we denounce it as fearmongering.

Don't forget the duct tape!! Boo!!
posted by nofundy at 11:46 AM on August 9, 2004

Fear is Courage!! (beat Orwell to that one)
posted by nofundy at 1:10 PM on August 9, 2004

So around election time must be Peak Terrorsim Preparedness Season? We have proof that right around mid September, every year now, going on four -- everybody's apprehension goes through the roof. THERE WILL BE A REPEAT ATTACK!

This is what the best roller coasters are built upon, not democracies. The Bush administration is a fraud of unfathomably complex networks of rafts after rafts of lies. Hey, have we been through the tunnel yet? Whee, let's do it again.

The gig's up. Right now, it's just a matter of the vacuum created by the right's amoral use of "left behind" fearmongering that stands in the way, God only knows what that will bring. Nevertheless, if scientific progress and the ability that all who care are welcome to it's fruits prevails, your guy, Dubya, is in a world of hurt.

I don't think the neocons realized they were taking on the entire world when they plotted their coup d'etat to subvert the very core of rationalism on which the progress of modern society depends.

So enamoured with their plan, they didn't realize the world had already moved on. All they succeeded in doing was radicalizing the pragmatists.

Whoops.
posted by crasspastor at 3:07 AM on August 10, 2004

This is the first year, though, that September has been dedicated to Preparedness. It's a More Special September this time around.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:13 AM on August 10, 2004