Comments on: I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

Quartermass — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:17:16 -0800

"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself and he said. "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Say, here's a picture of me when I'm older. How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera."

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Comedy Stylings of Mitch Hedberg.

By: lazaruslong

lazaruslong — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:33:53 -0800

Jesus H that guy is friggin hilarious. I love his delivery and humor. "I love escalators. Escalators are great. I love escalators because they cannot break. They can only turn into stairs. They should have a sign next to one that breaks, "Sorry About The Convenience".

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:35:42 -0800

Ah, Mitch, the man who inspired me to chase my dream of becoming a race car passenger. "Hey man, can I turn on the radio?" "You need to slow down." "Can I put my feet up?" "Wow, you really like Tide."

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:40:02 -0800

I saw him with the Comedy Central tour and he was tons better than Lewis Black (who may have sucked because he was using old material). So good! I can't wait to get out of here. I have a roll of Life Savers in my pocket and pineapple is next!

By: digaman

digaman — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:40:40 -0800

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to as well."

By: afx114

afx114 — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:41:47 -0800

Yah, it's all about his delivery. It's not even funny reading his jokes as text on the screen. But hearing him deliver, holy shit he's funny.

By: ChasFile

ChasFile — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:42:53 -0800

"I don't have a girlfriend, I just know someone who would get really mad if they ever heard me say that." [I just returned his Comedy Central special to NetFlix. Highly Recommended]

By: digaman

digaman — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:44:29 -0800

"Gift certificates -- what a way to fuck up money."

By: herc

herc — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:49:38 -0800

Another article on Mitch if you're interested. Very funny. His delivery is unique and really adds to the comedy.

By: Ufez Jones

Ufez Jones — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 09:54:00 -0800

Yah, it's all about his delivery. It's not even funny reading his jokes as text on the screen. But hearing him deliver, holy shit he's funny. Yeah, but if you've heard enough of his stuff, you can hear him delivering it in his classic style in your head. Let that be a warning who aren't initiatied though. I got the chance to see him live about a year and a half ago and was far from disappointed.

By: Sidhedevil

Sidhedevil — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 10:11:03 -0800

Another "amen" to the "delivery is key". I can't think of another comedian for whom that's as true (except maybe Steven Wright). I'm also a big fan of Frank Caliendo.

By: crank

crank — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 10:15:47 -0800

I've never really dug the 'it's all in the delivery' stand-ups. Mitch Hedberg and Steven Wright both seem to fall into that category. They say things funny, not necessarily funny things (in my opinion).

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 10:25:51 -0800

can't think of another comedian for whom that's as true (except maybe Steven Wright). I'm a big fan of Eugene Mirman.

By: rory

rory — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 10:31:42 -0800

Never heard of him, and all these gags you guys are quoting read pretty well to me. Now to start following the links... (And Stephen Wright's gags aren't funny? Blasphemy!)

By: advil

advil — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 11:07:06 -0800

there was a twilight zone episode that involved a camera which would result in pictures of 20 minutes (I think) from when the picture was taken. With that you could take pictures of yourself when you were older. As I recall, it ended with them all killing each other.

By: justgary

justgary — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 11:33:24 -0800

I would have thought everyone would have heard of mitch by now. I saw him in a small club, but the owners now say he's too big for them to book. It is, however, sad to see so many of his old jokes retold here. Kind of like having your grandmother sending you forwards about what kids don't know today. The race car joke? Please, let it die...

By: arto

arto — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 11:41:36 -0800

I'm with rory, some of these are chuckle-worthy as text alone. Having said that, anybody have mp3s or video of this guy's routine? I realize this is the Filter of All Things Meta, but sometimes you need the actual thing itself rather than just a good description.

By: Dantien

Dantien — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 11:51:56 -0800

well JustGary, some of us have never heard of him, or those jokes. *GASP* So sorry we aren't at your level of comedic awareness yet.

By: nath

nath — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 12:35:38 -0800

I saw him live a year ago. Good stuff. My favorite part of the show was when he pulled out this set of mini-stairs (like a prop, I don't know how to describe it), and he set his drink down on it. A couple minutes later he knocked it over, and it was an "oh shit" moment but got some good laughs. Later in the show he sat on the steps, and nearly fell off. Immediately he ad-libbed, "I should have learned my lesson with the drink". My favorite Mitch joke: "Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only disease people can get mad at you for having. 'Dammit Otto, you're an alcoholic.' 'Dammit Otto, you have lupus.' One of these does not sound right."

By: Inkoate

Inkoate — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 12:37:35 -0800

JustGary, I heard Strategic Grill Locations a few years ago, and laughed my ass off. I listened to it again this morning when this thread was posted, and I still laughed my ass off. Just because he told the jokes a while ago doesn't make them un-funny. The race-car joke rules. Lighten up.

By: swift

swift — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 13:03:36 -0800

"My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."

By: petebest

petebest — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 13:24:11 -0800

I wanted a candy bar which was "HH" so I hit H twice, and fuckin' potato chips came out! They had an "HH" button! Christ - you gotta let me know! I didn't learn my AA BB CC's god god dammit dammit.

By: jcruelty

jcruelty — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 13:26:42 -0800

this guy's hilarious. going onto my netflix queue for sure.

By: Sidhedevil

Sidhedevil — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 13:50:08 -0800

Thanks for the CoolerThanYouFilter post, JustGary. I know that I, for one, feel really bad about myself now.

By: rory

rory — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 13:51:25 -0800

I would have thought everyone would have heard of mitch by now. I'll try and get along to his Tampa show. Let me just check the Virgin Atlantic website... (Okay, I see now that he's on That 70s Show, so I guess I've seen him on that. Haven't seen his stand-up, didn't know his name.)

By: Turtles all the way down

Turtles all the way down — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 14:29:58 -0800

Sidhedevil: thanks for the tip on Frank Caliendo. For those who haven't gone there, there's an 8 minute preview of his act that's hilarious.

By: LoopSouth

LoopSouth — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 18:06:41 -0800

My friends and I, when we used to do certain mind altering drugs, would deliver everything we said in this same style... I wonder if there is a connection there... Yeah I have been a Mitch fan for a while now... never seen him in a small club though.... oh well.

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 19:17:48 -0800

I'd like to add that, thanks to this post, Mitch got whatever percentage he gets for both his CDs and whatever good karma he gets for four people laughing their asses off for three hours. The most recent CD comes with his Comedy Central DVD and is a Good Buy at 150% the price.

By: MrBadExample

MrBadExample — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 21:11:54 -0800

Mitch Hedberg. Now you're speakin' my language. He and Todd Barry are my two favorite comics right now, I think. I saw Hedberg perform a couple of years ago. He was accompanied by a bass player. Very cool. He needs to be on That 70's Show again, too. He had one scene in a first-season episode that I've ripped off for my own purposes countless times: "I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so that I could come back here and sell hot dogs to teenagers." "But you've got both your legs." "Like I said, I did not lose a leg!"