Do doo be-do-do

August 12, 2004 4:38 AM

The Office as training video? "The staff had just returned from lunch and all the managers were in a training room, sitting in a semi-circle and looking really pleased with themselves. Then one of them blurted out 'Mahna Mahna' at us without warning. We just stared blankly back at them."
posted by rory (24 comments total)

Brent could also have directed the recent B&Q adverts. Annoying bloody company.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 4:43 AM on August 12, 2004

B&Q: Boffo & Quirky, or Brainless & Querulous?
posted by rory at 4:51 AM on August 12, 2004

You can see here how horriffic it could be (it's the clip labelled 'The Sing-a-Long').

Work is a place where you do something and get paid less than what it is worth to the boss. By definition it is exploitation - must they add humiliation?
posted by meech at 5:09 AM on August 12, 2004

B&Q: Bobbins & Quim?
posted by johnnyboy at 5:49 AM on August 12, 2004

This ties in with the recent media attention on the value of organizational intelligence. If the employees themselves had created their own cultish greeting, then it would increase the feeling of being part of a group. Forcing something this trivial upon employees -- without their input -- is seen as a pointless directive. If they had simply called a meeting and said "We need a wacky greeting for our group. Any ideas?" it might have worked.

I've always been intrigued by those rumours of Wal-mart forcing their employees to chant. Does this actually happen? Are there employees that like this sort of thing? I've always wanted to be witness to this, but, like a Mason initiation ceremony, I've never been invited.
posted by sleslie at 5:57 AM on August 12, 2004

Cold Stone has its hapless staff sing stupid songs when they get a tip. I'm sure they were grateful when my wife slipped in a tip and quietly told them not to sing.
posted by O9scar at 6:31 AM on August 12, 2004

I've actually walked out of a Cold Stone because of the singing. Several people chanting loudly in an enclosed space like that sets off my claustrophobia. I will *never* *ever* tip at a Cold Stone. I sometimes wonder how many other people feel the same way.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:53 AM on August 12, 2004

It's precisely stuff like this that touched off the Russian Revolution.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 6:56 AM on August 12, 2004

It's funny how the article, though struggling to draw a comparison with this stunt and the kind of thing done on the Office, doesn't actually point out that the song was sung on the show (perhaps because it wasn't done as a policy move to replace "good morning"? still, odd).
posted by rushmc at 7:08 AM on August 12, 2004

Wal-mart forcing their employees to chant. Does this actually happen?

I don't know if they still do it, but I was told about it by a Wal-mart employee many years ago. They would gather every morning for the ritual, which I was led to believe was more like singning a cheery commercial jingle than chanting. She was put off by my incredulity at this, and refused to reveal any more secrets of the mysterious cult of the Wal-martians.
posted by sfenders at 7:22 AM on August 12, 2004

Heh, heh. "Wal-Martians."

Heh.
posted by *burp* at 7:56 AM on August 12, 2004

I don't go into B&Q very often but if I do and some poor employee greets me with this, I shall immediately summon the manager and give him a piece of my mind, the theme of which will be how humiliating and degrading employees will stop me shopping there and in which the term (directed at the manager) "m'nah-m'nah-motherfucker" will feature.

I urge everyone to do the same.
posted by Blue Stone at 8:46 AM on August 12, 2004

I work in an office that's remarkably similar to the archetypes used in The Office, down to the odd sexual harrassment and the uncomfortable boss who insecurely must always be both a genius, showman and leerer of tits (no, I'm not talking about myself, for anyone who wanted to make the joke!)

Anyway, whenever someone new watches the first season of Office he or she is quietly greeted into our private circle of those who know and those who do not yet know.

That show is like the little red book for those bound to our cubicle walls.

Free Love on the Free Love Freeway is our battlehymn to arms...
posted by Peter H at 9:26 AM on August 12, 2004

Canada has a chain of burger joints named Lick's where the staff are *required* to sing a minimum of three songs for each customer who orders something (unless they explicitly ask not to be sung to, which does happen)...it's an oppressively "cheerful" place, and a terrible place to work. (self-link)
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:27 AM on August 12, 2004

Actually, the best story I've ever heard about this sort of thing is the tale of Howie Makem, The Quality Cat. The entire book is also highly recommended;

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0446394009/102-5404702-2822545?v=glance
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:33 AM on August 12, 2004

Gah, and I thought having the waitstaff sing stupid birthday songs for customers was bad.

Card Cheat, I've never heard out this Lick's chain out west, and I hope I never do.
posted by Salmonberry at 10:40 AM on August 12, 2004

I'm suprised Johnny Rockets hasn't been mentioned in this thread.

Although better choreographed than Cold Stone, their employees' ingratiating good-naturedness can be downright grating at times.

The restaurants were also parodied in an episode of Monk, which did a nice job of showing the seven circles of that tiny hell.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:26 AM on August 12, 2004

It was my experience that the only customers who actually enjoy all of this singing and dancing on the job shit are:

- the very young
- the very old, and;
- the very stoned.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:18 PM on August 12, 2004

A group of friends and I actually jumped a ticket in the middle of a specifically not requested "fun" birthday song. We'd told the hostess we don't want singing, we told our server we don't want singing --- but we got singinging and left about three bars into their song and dance routine, leaving about $100 worth of drinks and entrees sitting on the table untouched and unpaid for.
posted by nathan_teske at 12:22 PM on August 12, 2004

nathan - Which restaurant are you talking about? And if you were so determined to avoid the song and dance, how come you didn't just go somewhere else?

Still, I commend your principled dine-and-dash...hopefully, if enough people walk out on enough bills, we as a society will be rid of these restaurants.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:33 PM on August 12, 2004

I've actually walked out of a Cold Stone because of the singing.

I went to one for the first time last weekend, and I'm not certain I'll go back. The ice cream was good, if expensive, but one or more of three things must be true:

1) My ice cream is being served in a theater of pain where employees are forced to embarrass themselves with those stupid songs;

2) There are other people in the vicinity I'd rather not be around, customers who will tip expressly to force the employees to sing either because 2a) they're cruel or 2b) worse, enjoy the inanity;

3) In a worst case scenario, the employees truly are enthusiastic about the singing and I don't want to catch whatever evil beasts are crawling around in their minds.

On preview: I don't fall into any of the categories Card Cheat lays out, so that explains something, I guess. But the ice cream is still expensive.
posted by Inkslinger at 12:46 PM on August 12, 2004

card cheat: it was a local place where I went to college (Grand Forks, ND), so I doubt you ever heard of it. Pretty much your basic college town sportsbar, only with more 'flair' if you catch my drift.

We had coupons and were in college, damnit.

And we didn't really dine and dash. The entire working waitstaff brought our entrees out while singing. There were ten of us at the table so it made quite an impression on the staff and the surrounding patrons when we got up and walked out mid-song.
posted by nathan_teske at 1:43 PM on August 12, 2004

Isn't it enough that we demean ourselves by doing their stupid pointless jobs? No, they want us to humiliate ourselves with their team building exercises too.

Training courses are terrible for this shit as well.

"Before we start the training session I want to start with introductions. Please say your name, explain what you do and then pick a flower that best represents the person to your left."

Cue fifteen minutes of teethgrinding embarassment
posted by dodgygeezer at 2:27 PM on August 12, 2004

I have a friend whose surly father worked briefly at Wal-Mart, just as a small job to make a little extra money after his retirement. Apparently there are singalongs and cheers, and in one cheer, in which the employees shout out the letters of the company name, there is a 'wiggle' that they're supposed to do, between the 'Wal' and the 'Mart'. He refused to wiggle and walked out in disgust. Who could blame him? Sounds like a tactic specifically implemented to kill off any and all self-respect.

The cheery restaurant waitstaff deal reminds me of an apt Onion headline: "Welcome To T.G.I. Fridays! May I Annoy The Living Shit Out Of You?"

I really wonder about the forced cheerfulness and the required greetings and the like. Does anyone actually appreciate it? When it's genuine, it's okay, but it's a rare thing. There's a chain of ice cream shops in Austin called Amy's and they hire goofy people, because they're naturally fun and enthusiastic, and don't try to mold workers into grinning idiots. These people are just being themselves and it's obvious. It seems to be completely the opposite of the way other places do business.
posted by picea at 2:55 PM on August 12, 2004