Comments on: She's So Heavy

She's So Heavy

swift — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 05:49:22 -0800

Obese Florida woman melds with couch after laying on it for six years. Meanwhile.

By: zeoslap

zeoslap — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:02:35 -0800

By: ZippityBuddha

ZippityBuddha — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:06:10 -0800

i think the couch was actually attempting to eat her.

By: Hall

Hall — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:06:12 -0800

disgusting.

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:09:50 -0800

There's only one appropriate funeral: setee sati. sorry

By: gregor-e

gregor-e — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:15:53 -0800

I don't know which I find more disturbing - her condition, or my inability to keep from gawking in horrified hilarity.

By: pieoverdone

pieoverdone — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:19:45 -0800

Someone explain how you become grafted to upholstery. I'm not being flippant. I honestly want to know.

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:26:58 -0800

It usually involves David Cronenberg

By: johnnyboy

johnnyboy — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:27:20 -0800

I feel nauseous after reading that, not a very nice way to go adhered to your couch.

By: ZippityBuddha

ZippityBuddha — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:34:46 -0800

i'm just one cookie away from this, i just know it

By: swift

swift — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:37:42 -0800

Someone explain how you become grafted to upholstery. I'm not being flippant. I honestly want to know. IANAD, but over time the skin cells on your body are replaced with new ones. It seems her skin grew around the fibers of the couch, much like a plant grows around an obstacle and becomes stuck to it. Then again, maybe it's a Zen thing.

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:52:23 -0800

I remember a few years ago they had a sotry about a homeless man whos socks had become part of his body after grafting to his feet. Swift is correct in how it works. being porous, the fabric of the couch just had the skin cells meshed into it. Her skin is basically "velcroed" to the couch.

By: DrJohnEvans

DrJohnEvans — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:57:25 -0800

Yikes. I imagine the funeral will be standing room only.

By: grabbingsand

grabbingsand — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:57:31 -0800

Okay. If she hadn't left that couch in so very long, then somebody had to keep bringing her food, yes? Wouldn't that person be culpable? At least somewhat?

By: luser

luser — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:00:05 -0800

Finally: a medical reason to go out and buy that buttery leather sofa I've had my eye on.

By: rushmc

rushmc — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:02:43 -0800

After lying on it for six years.

By: swift

swift — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:07:09 -0800

What, she was a liar?

By: johnnyboy

johnnyboy — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:07:31 -0800

Wouldn't that person be culpable? - So much for rugged individualism! (possibly sofaed)

By: psychotic_venom

psychotic_venom — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:09:41 -0800

Gosh, the "Meanwhile" link is even worse. Whaddaya tryin' to do to me, swift?

By: bonaldi

bonaldi — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:12:04 -0800

How did she pee? Is that where the smell came from? The family just has to be charged, surely.

By: swift

swift — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:14:51 -0800

Whaddaya tryin' to do to me, swift? Illustrate something about body identity, I guess.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:17:25 -0800

Incredible that the man who lived with her never called in medical aid.

By: ChrisTN

ChrisTN — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:20:44 -0800

WARNING: MetaFilter Security Advisory Code Yellow in effect.

By: agregoli

agregoli — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:26:57 -0800

Holy Moly.

By: amauck

amauck — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:34:10 -0800

a medical reason to go out and buy that buttery leather sofa I've had my eye on Mmmmm. Butter...

By: papercake

papercake — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:36:10 -0800

This was funny until I started thinking about what the day-to-day living conditions must have been like... what kind of person allows this to happen to themselves? What kind of person allows this to happen to someone they care about? Truly horrifying. Of course, the horror hasn't stopped me from IMing this to two people as an "omigod this is soooo funnay!" link.

By: MsVader

MsVader — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:37:07 -0800

Man - of all the horrible ways to go, surely becoming one with a piece of furniture is the worst. I am so thoroughly horrified right now...

By: amauck

amauck — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:37:44 -0800

I actually prefer butter to kerosine whenever I roast my cousins.

By: oaf

oaf — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:39:26 -0800

ChrisTN: So, exactly how scared are we supposed to be at the moment? Is it time to break out the Internet duct tape?

By: ZippityBuddha

ZippityBuddha — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:41:21 -0800

they could just do like "what's eating gilbert grape." for the funeral, i mean.

By: pardonyou?

pardonyou? — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:43:52 -0800

How did she pee? Is that where the smell came from? Well, that and the other waste removal process. This is definitely the grossest MeFi post, so fa'. You just can't couch this in pleasant terms to try to cushion the blow. This is destined to become a deep-seated fear of mine.

By: CunningLinguist

CunningLinguist — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:45:31 -0800

I'm more grossed out by the grammar. LYING on it! Jeez! "Laying" on something is never right unless it's the laying on of hands.

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:47:44 -0800

You just can't couch this in pleasant terms to try to cushion the blow. I think she's been cushioning the blow for years.

By: philfromhavelock

philfromhavelock — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:47:46 -0800

>Wouldn't that person be culpable? At least somewhat? I think so. But it's likely similar to a gent begging for change: you feel guilty if you give and you feel guilty if you don't multiplied a hundred times if it's a family member.

By: milovoo

milovoo — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 07:59:47 -0800

at least it looks like kind of a comfy couch though. maybe too comfy...

By: burp

*burp* — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:02:42 -0800

Great post title for what is, alas, a very sad story.

By: callmejay

callmejay — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:04:55 -0800

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:06:25 -0800

Mmmm...couch potato.

By: mygoditsbob

mygoditsbob — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:10:50 -0800

Over two hours until the first couch potato reference. Fark would have made the linkage in 2 minutes. We've got kick it up some here!

By: kgasmart

kgasmart — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:15:56 -0800

Lord knows on NFL Sundays I've tried to become one with the couch. But I never showed this level of commitment...

By: rory

rory — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:15:59 -0800

Come on, pardonyou?, tell us how you feel from the ground up—whole story.

By: obfusciatrist

obfusciatrist — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:19:05 -0800

This is definitely the grossest MeFi post, so fa'. You just can't couch this in pleasant terms to try to cushion the blow. This is destined to become a deep-seated fear of mine. Certainly typing those sentences is grounds for some sort of MeFi punishment? Can one person really be allowed to subject everybody else to such things as those puns?

By: pardonyou?

pardonyou? — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:20:26 -0800

I think she's been cushioning the blow for years. Come on! I had four puns in that paragraph. I at least deserve a groan, or someone telling me I'm going to hell, or even a MeTa callout, don't I? on preview: Come on, pardonyou?, tell us how you feel from the ground up—whole story. See above. on preview again: Certainly typing those sentences is grounds for some sort of MeFi punishment? Can one person really be allowed to subject everybody else to such things as those puns? Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

By: Beansidhe

Beansidhe — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:27:11 -0800

Well, I'm going to the gym today.

By: swift

swift — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:30:51 -0800

The deeper the cushion . . .

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:31:16 -0800

Someone explain how you become grafted to upholstery. I'm not being flippant. I honestly want to know. "Grinds was too large to get up from the couch to even use the bathroom." then somebody had to keep bringing her food, yes? actually reading the linked story can be quite helpful with questions like this, yes.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:32:10 -0800

I like how the Meanwhile link suggests a good recipe for roasted family member: kerosene and coconut leaves. mmmMMMm!! YUM!

By: rory

rory — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:32:58 -0800

See above. You groan at mine, and I'll groan at yours.

By: rory

rory — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:35:15 -0800

Personally, I think a pun-in-response is more fun than a mere groan.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:37:56 -0800

Yow, it is definitely time to put down the Twinkies when your body is trying to join with a couch. Holy crap! What a bummer. Now to go and see the meanwhile link and sink deeper into bummer land.

By: biffa

biffa — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:39:51 -0800

Would she technically qualify as a cyborg?

By: Capn

Capn — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:40:42 -0800

The roommate didn't do what he otta, man.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:43:27 -0800

Ohmy gawd, it does get worse! That CNN wedding story is awful. What is fucking wrong with people? Ahhhh, I'm gonna go sit in my basement and pretend the outside world doesn't exist while cranking old Led Zeppelin. Thanks for the truly disturbing beginning to my day.

By: bafflegab

bafflegab — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:44:41 -0800

Okay. If she hadn't left that couch in so very long, then somebody had to keep bringing her food, yes? Wouldn't that person be culpable? At least somewhat? "Herman! Herman! Herman, you worthless piece of shit! Get me another bag of rice cakes and another chocolate shake!" Sounds like a good defense to me...

By: Peter H

Peter H — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:45:06 -0800

A KING FOR A QUEEN

By: rory

rory — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:45:10 -0800

The roommate didn't do what he otta, man. She should have been chary of him.

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:45:10 -0800

Personally, I think a pun-in-response is more fun than a mere groan. uh-oh. i smell Pun-smoke. stand back!

By: bafflegab

bafflegab — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:45:55 -0800

Would she technically qualify as a cyborg? Davenborg.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:53:01 -0800

Man ... this is all way too heavy for my breakfast news. I'd love to make a pun on this shitty situation but I'm too stuck on Quonsar's Sherlock Holmes/Batman solution of bathroom-use and permanent bond to the sofa! Good job, sir, say I -- CASE. SOLVED.

By: shoepal

shoepal — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:54:53 -0800

divanborg.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 08:57:35 -0800

(sorry amauck, didn't spot your kerosene joke before i made one)

By: swift

swift — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 09:12:33 -0800

Interesting how in the Philippines it's a faux pas to accidentally trip and touch a bride's bottom.

By: pieoverdone

pieoverdone — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 09:32:18 -0800

actually reading the linked story can be quite helpful with questions like this, yes. I did read it quonsar, but I wanted to know how exactly she got 'grafted to fabric' as opposed to being stuck to the upholstery by poo. Isn't there any mefite here in med school that can give me a pictorial example of this?

By: taz

taz — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 09:37:08 -0800

I guess I don't understand why this was posted here, but I can't help replying to pardonyou? by pointing out that the pun is, of course, the lowest form of humor, and that anyone who would stoop to such a cheap and easy way to get a laugh is clearly a LazyBoy.

By: rhapsodie

rhapsodie — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 09:44:01 -0800

I wanted to know how exactly she got 'grafted to fabric' um...

By: moonbird

moonbird — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 09:44:38 -0800

mygoditsbob: well, i'm waiting for godwin myself. between this and the retarded kitten, it's bound to happen.

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 09:51:20 -0800

Kind of reminds me of this Snopes article.

By: Capn

Capn — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 09:52:37 -0800

Don't be an Adolph Quitler moonbird </the tick>

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 10:29:58 -0800

You're sofa away from me... /knopfler

By: sharpener

sharpener — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 10:30:31 -0800

Did no one think to recline 'er?

By: DrJohnEvans

DrJohnEvans — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 10:55:58 -0800

Investigators say Grinds lived with a man named Chester Thomas, who says he tried to take care of her the best he could. Poor guy. I wonder how Chester feeled.

By: The God Complex

The God Complex — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 11:04:22 -0800

Heart-warming stuff. This just started my day off right! =) Poor guy. I wonder how Chester feeled. with a ten-foot pole? *rimshot!*

By: CunningLinguist

CunningLinguist — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 11:25:56 -0800

title should have been "chaise so heavy"

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 11:40:15 -0800

what kind of person allows this to happen to themselves? Someone who is clinically depressed or other mental illness.

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 12:00:28 -0800

Umm, yeah, I think what we are seeing here, all puns aside, is a serious case of neglect: there may have been underlying physical conditions which prevented her from moving easily, and the obesity drastically complicated that; and also what fish said, she was probably suffering mental illness (or her caretaker was). I'm thinking Baby Jane here, not the ultimate couch potato.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 13:19:01 -0800

Couch Au Gratin.

By: graventy

graventy — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 14:12:02 -0800

How the hell does this start? I mean, does she sit one day and just doesn't feel like getting up, then the next day she's too heavy to get up? Or, does she have her helper guy get her up and he hurt his back for a week and then when it was better, she gained so much weight she couldn't get up? Or, did she start by going sometimes 3-4 days without getting up, then a week, then a month, and one day she just stopped making the effort? Maybe I should switch to C2.

By: dodgygeezer

dodgygeezer — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 14:12:33 -0800

I know weddings are expensive but surely they could afford a few pork chops

By: Keyser Soze

Keyser Soze — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 14:19:30 -0800

I think she's been cushioning the blow for years or blowing the cushion

By: agregoli

agregoli — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 14:22:07 -0800

Sad how this thread dissolved to puns and jokes so quickly. Not that it isn't bizarre.

By: amauck

amauck — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 14:32:44 -0800

she was probably suffering mental illness Um... I think it is just as likely that she simply became too obese to move. This happens, you know.

By: inpHilltr8r

inpHilltr8r — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 14:51:05 -0800

There is hope!

By: Dark Messiah

Dark Messiah — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 14:53:21 -0800

Poor guy. I wonder how Chester feeled. with a ten-foot pole? *rimshot!* No, he was Russian. But very tall, yes.

By: stonerose

stonerose — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 16:03:58 -0800

From inpHilltr8r's link: He was so big that charity workers from the League of Human Dignity arranged for him to be driven to a local livestock scale to be weighed. Dignity???

By: Sidhedevil

Sidhedevil — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 17:49:56 -0800

Yes. The League for Human Hilarity also submitted a treatment plan, which consisted entirely of poking the poor man with a stick. Amauck, we did get that she had become too obese to move. That accounts for Day One of not being able to get off the couch. The "mental illness" part comes in when, after, say, Day Three, you don't realize that it's a problem and attempt to do something about it.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 18:27:11 -0800

I'd say the "mental illness" part comes at about day -300, when one starts having physical difficulties with getting off the couch. That's when some sort of survival mechanism should be kicking in, getting one to the doctor. That she didn't get help, and continued to decline to the point where she was unable to get off the couch, speaks volumes as to her mental condition. Very sad. My best guess, however, is that both the now-deceased and Chester were mentally ill or mentally retarded. Quite likely they slipped through the cracks at social services.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 19:23:17 -0800

Over two hours until the first couch potato reference. Fark would have made the linkage in 2 minutes. We've got kick it up some here! Yes, because making Metafilter more like Fark is a noble goal towards which we should all strive vigilantly.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 19:59:57 -0800

I suppose it could have been worse - she could have started out on the other piece of furniture in the room. Then she would have ended up as chair and chair alike.

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Thu, 12 Aug 2004 20:48:12 -0800

I'd say the "mental illness" part comes at about day -300, when one starts having physical difficulties with getting off the couch. That's when some sort of survival mechanism should be kicking in, getting one to the doctor. That she didn't get help, and continued to decline to the point where she was unable to get off the couch, speaks volumes as to her mental condition. And/or the family's inability to pay for medical treatment...

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Fri, 13 Aug 2004 01:43:56 -0800

In terms of supporting a bleak and desolate world-view, this is good news fer Nietzsche.

By: Kwantsar

Kwantsar — Fri, 13 Aug 2004 01:49:25 -0800

That's when some sort of survival mechanism should be kicking in, getting one to the doctor I don't remember any medical professionals or couches, back on the African Savannah 50,000 years or so ago. Back when we stoped evolving.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Fri, 13 Aug 2004 05:29:45 -0800

I'm surprised you can remember back that far. I have difficulty remembering yesterday, let alone the thirty-odd years I've been around. However, when I'm unhealthy, I usually seek help from someone. Were I a caveman, I'd probably be seeking it from my clan or the witchdoctor.

By: feelinglistless

feelinglistless — Fri, 13 Aug 2004 15:36:10 -0800

Exact reaction when I read this. OH MAN ALIVE NO! Just what I needed to be reading just before bedtime. Thanks.

By: CunningLinguist

CunningLinguist — Wed, 18 Aug 2004 07:34:00 -0800

New details.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Wed, 18 Aug 2004 10:04:07 -0800

How sad.

Comments on: She's So Heavy

She's So Heavy

By: zeoslap

By: ZippityBuddha

By: Hall

By: Pretty_Generic

By: gregor-e

By: pieoverdone

By: Pretty_Generic

By: johnnyboy

By: ZippityBuddha

By: swift

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By: Beansidhe

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