O happy day - lawyers paid to watch porn!

August 20, 2004 8:45 PM

Artist vs. Porn Star -- Law firm wins!Jeff Koons is liable for $4 million in attorneys fees to his NY divorce lawyers, even though he ultimately lost custody of his son to his porn-star-turned-politician wife. Court says hey, that's fair, because he's not even complaining that the firm "charged an unreasonable hourly fee to have associates, for instance, watch pornographic videos, a necessary part of preparing to litigate the underlying custody dispute."
posted by onlyconnect (16 comments total)

But who gets the metal rabbit?
posted by Peter H at 8:56 PM on August 20, 2004

When will men learn? The only ones who win when a father sues for custody are the lawyers.
posted by mischief at 9:09 PM on August 20, 2004

That's an entertaining post, onlyconnect. But your summary of the story is misleading. The court system in America granted him custody, only to have his ex-wife move to Europe and avoid turning over the son. Also, he's already paid $2 mil in fees, so he only owes $2 mil more. (Hell, that's pocket change for an artist whose sculptures go for $5.4 million.)
posted by Happydaz at 9:19 PM on August 20, 2004

Details, details. (No really, I did consider trying to navigate the custody/move to Italy issue, but the post would have gotten long. I'm not sure I'm wrong on the $4M -- he is legally obligated to pay the full $4M, not just half as he argued. I was trying to emphasize that he was going to wind up $4 mil in the hole, having paid his lawyers to watch his ex wife get nasty with other guys, and still have no kid. $2 mil doesn't seem so bad. :P)
posted by onlyconnect at 9:32 PM on August 20, 2004

well... Koons' marriage was pretty much an art piece, so maybe this legal battle is just his latest artistic contribution. the guy is interesting, that's for sure.
posted by edlundart at 12:09 AM on August 21, 2004

$4,000,000 / $500 per hour = 8,000 hours.

That's a lot of porn.
posted by Ynoxas at 5:24 AM on August 21, 2004

Tough shit. Sounds pretty straightforward. He hired some expensive people to perform some expensive services, and now he doesn't want to pay.
posted by bingo at 6:34 AM on August 21, 2004

How much did he get for selling a porcelain statue of Michael Jackson and Bubbles the chimp?
posted by pjdoland at 6:43 AM on August 21, 2004

I don't think that class of person should be responsible for the care of a child. I mean... a politician?! WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!
posted by Capn at 8:46 AM on August 21, 2004

Um, he married her because she was a pornstar/parliamentarian. He made sculptures (or, rather, he caused sculptures to be made) of the two of them doing it.

And he knew she was Italian, and that she wanted to live in Italy.

I'm not in favor of parents--either mothers or fathers, both do it, despite what mischief may think--absconding with children against custody orders. Especially to foreign countries.

But y'all seem like Koons shouldn't have seen this coming or something. If you seek the world over for an incredibly crazy spouse, you might expect some incredibly crazy behavior from that person.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:46 AM on August 21, 2004

Rich Wall Street commodities brokers turned kitsch con artists have such hard lives.
posted by the fire you left me at 11:52 AM on August 21, 2004

I'm with bingo.
posted by troutfishing at 2:11 PM on August 21, 2004

This post screams of someone criticizing the legal profession without understanding it at all.
posted by oaf at 2:16 PM on August 21, 2004

Actually oaf, I'm a lawyer. My main reason for posting was fact that I was working at midnight on a Friday and was jealous of my NY colleagues who were billing $350/hour to watch porn.

And also because so many times I've been on the other side of father's rights posts. I think it's a shame this guy seemed to make every effort he could and still lost the ability to raise his son. I understand why he's liable -- he told the lawyers to do everything they could. But they were very unsuccessful, and between that and the billing for porn, I can understand why people sometimes don't like lawyers much.
posted by onlyconnect at 2:30 PM on August 21, 2004

When will men learn? The only ones who win when a father sues for custody are the lawyers.


Except, he won. At least before she took the kid back to italy.
posted by delmoi at 5:17 PM on August 21, 2004

All right, onlyconnect, but if they weren't being paid $350 an hour to watch porn, it'd probably be $350 an hour for something else. If it was relevant to the case...
posted by oaf at 7:45 AM on August 22, 2004