A little dab'll do ya.
August 24, 2004 3:47 PM Subscribe
A recent non-scientific poll conducted by ABC News in the US found that 35 percent of voters feel that hot-saucing is an acceptable form of discipline. Blair Whelchel (yes, that Blair Whelchel) is a fan. Whatever happened to soap?
Lisa Whelchel, who played Blair on the popular 1980s TV series Facts of Life, is an advocate and practitioner of "hot saucing."
Any other male MeFites who grew up in the 80s find that sentence strangely erotic?
posted by dhoyt at 3:55 PM on August 24, 2004
Any other male MeFites who grew up in the 80s find that sentence strangely erotic?
posted by dhoyt at 3:55 PM on August 24, 2004
I thought it was gonna be one of those posts where someone explains a new sexual activity.
Hot saucing? Sure - just so long as you don't expect me to felch ya...
posted by dash_slot- at 3:56 PM on August 24, 2004
Hot saucing? Sure - just so long as you don't expect me to felch ya...
posted by dash_slot- at 3:56 PM on August 24, 2004
In my experience, physical punishment -- smacking, soap, or whatever else you feel like coming up with -- will just cause children to resent, dislike, distrust and fear their parents. If you'd actually like your kids to talk to you, come to you with their problems and so forth, I wouldn't recommend it.
posted by reklaw at 3:56 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by reklaw at 3:56 PM on August 24, 2004
Direct from the Abu Ghraib parenting manual.
posted by Keith Talent at 3:58 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by Keith Talent at 3:58 PM on August 24, 2004
My mother used Tabasco sauce on my tongue for saying naughty words and I can tell you that it didn't f***ing work.
posted by caddis at 4:04 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by caddis at 4:04 PM on August 24, 2004
What happened to just taking the time to teach your children how to behave properly?
It's tedious as hell, but in the end, you have a kid who is good because being good is the right way to be, not because he's afraid you're going to hurt him.
posted by padraigin at 4:07 PM on August 24, 2004
It's tedious as hell, but in the end, you have a kid who is good because being good is the right way to be, not because he's afraid you're going to hurt him.
posted by padraigin at 4:07 PM on August 24, 2004
dhoyt, what about this gem:
""I prefer my child receive a small amount of pain from my hand of love..."
posted by LairBob at 4:08 PM on August 24, 2004
""I prefer my child receive a small amount of pain from my hand of love..."
posted by LairBob at 4:08 PM on August 24, 2004
Soap is still a better bet for that kind of thing. It's harmless and bitter... very very bitter. Tabasco has always been when of my favorite things since a young age (my Dad taught me that is tasted great on soft-boiled eggs). Why ruin a perfectly good product but giving it such an awful association?
My wife and I are embarking on the breeding phase of our lives in the near term, and I still don't know where I stand on the whole spanking thing. When I fucked up as a kid, I remember the emotional guilt of letting my parents down was far worse than the 2 or 3 times my dad belted me. On those occasions, getting smacked made me feel more righteous that it did to reinforce my feelings that I had done wrong. I'm just one data point, but it's one that's likely to make me not go that route with my own children.
posted by psmealey at 4:10 PM on August 24, 2004
My wife and I are embarking on the breeding phase of our lives in the near term, and I still don't know where I stand on the whole spanking thing. When I fucked up as a kid, I remember the emotional guilt of letting my parents down was far worse than the 2 or 3 times my dad belted me. On those occasions, getting smacked made me feel more righteous that it did to reinforce my feelings that I had done wrong. I'm just one data point, but it's one that's likely to make me not go that route with my own children.
posted by psmealey at 4:10 PM on August 24, 2004
psmealey, may I suggest "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be" by Davis and Keyser, as a sourcebook for helping you guys hammer out your parenting philosophy?
posted by padraigin at 4:16 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by padraigin at 4:16 PM on August 24, 2004
This interests me, because I had never heard of this practice until I was in college and a friend related an experience of having his mother hotsauce his tongue for some infraction.
Everyone else in the group thought it was horribly abusive.
Note--the guy in question is now a psychiatrist. Go fig.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:16 PM on August 24, 2004
Everyone else in the group thought it was horribly abusive.
Note--the guy in question is now a psychiatrist. Go fig.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:16 PM on August 24, 2004
Does getting spanked with a belt qualify? Because I would prefer the hot sauce. (I wonder if kids who got the hot sauce treatment hate hot sauce later in life)
posted by Keyser Soze at 4:17 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by Keyser Soze at 4:17 PM on August 24, 2004
No citing non-scientific polls! They aren't evidence of nothing.
posted by smackfu at 4:22 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by smackfu at 4:22 PM on August 24, 2004
Blair Whelchel (yes, that Blair Whelchel)
Lisa Whelchel. Blair was the character's name. And we're supposed to take our parenting cues from her...why?
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 4:25 PM on August 24, 2004
Lisa Whelchel. Blair was the character's name. And we're supposed to take our parenting cues from her...why?
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 4:25 PM on August 24, 2004
My daughter tells me when she has a bad fuckin' day at school.... which is nice....
Keyser: obviously, it's not a choice between the belt and the hot sauce. Remeber as a kid, a 5 minute lecture seemed to be a torturous hour? After a while, kids are as averse to that discomfort as they are to any other consequence (mostly).
posted by dash_slot- at 4:52 PM on August 24, 2004
Keyser: obviously, it's not a choice between the belt and the hot sauce. Remeber as a kid, a 5 minute lecture seemed to be a torturous hour? After a while, kids are as averse to that discomfort as they are to any other consequence (mostly).
posted by dash_slot- at 4:52 PM on August 24, 2004
nakedcodemonkey: yep, I know. I previewed and everything.
Remembering the taste of soap in my mouth gives me the shivers.
posted by emelenjr at 5:07 PM on August 24, 2004
Remembering the taste of soap in my mouth gives me the shivers.
posted by emelenjr at 5:07 PM on August 24, 2004
If you're gonna do this, why do it half-assed? Get out the camera, set the timer, and do a Lynndie.
posted by MrBadExample at 5:17 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by MrBadExample at 5:17 PM on August 24, 2004
Direct from the Abu Ghraib parenting manual.
That's a bit extreme, don't you think?
I'm uncomfortable with trivializing Abu Ghraib by comparing it to parental discipline via Mcllhenny. I love Tabasco, but it is probably a poor parenting tool. In comparison, I'm just not all that cracked about the whole systematic torture-child rape thingy.
posted by Wulfgar! at 5:28 PM on August 24, 2004
That's a bit extreme, don't you think?
I'm uncomfortable with trivializing Abu Ghraib by comparing it to parental discipline via Mcllhenny. I love Tabasco, but it is probably a poor parenting tool. In comparison, I'm just not all that cracked about the whole systematic torture-child rape thingy.
posted by Wulfgar! at 5:28 PM on August 24, 2004
In my experience, anecdotal as it is, the most effective method of parenting was and is by example.
Want your kids to read? Then read in front of them. Don't want them to curse a blue streak? Don't do it in front of them. Want them to help the elderly with packages? Do it in front of them! etc.
Sadly, observing parents had led me to believe that the people most likely to punish their children physically are those least likely to set the examples they wish their kids would follow.
posted by ltracey at 5:31 PM on August 24, 2004
Want your kids to read? Then read in front of them. Don't want them to curse a blue streak? Don't do it in front of them. Want them to help the elderly with packages? Do it in front of them! etc.
Sadly, observing parents had led me to believe that the people most likely to punish their children physically are those least likely to set the examples they wish their kids would follow.
posted by ltracey at 5:31 PM on August 24, 2004
I bet this is a lot more effective if you put a leather hood over your kid's head first.
As with reinforcement, so with punishment. Intermittent punishment has been scientifically demonstrated to be much more effective than regulartorture err....discipline - keep 'em guessing! (the hood helps with that too). That way, they won't build up a tolerance. Vary the Scoville-Unit intensity of the peppers, substitute Wasabi sometimes....mix it up! - It's the only loving thing to do.
Also for variety : since mouth tissue heals very, very fast - you could also try a little burning with a lit match here and there. But remember - don't get carried away!
If you go overboard with this sort of thing, your children might be tempted to retaliate, in turn, when you are much older.
( note : the above is SATIRE. OK ? )
posted by troutfishing at 5:33 PM on August 24, 2004
As with reinforcement, so with punishment. Intermittent punishment has been scientifically demonstrated to be much more effective than regular
Also for variety : since mouth tissue heals very, very fast - you could also try a little burning with a lit match here and there. But remember - don't get carried away!
If you go overboard with this sort of thing, your children might be tempted to retaliate, in turn, when you are much older.
( note : the above is SATIRE. OK ? )
posted by troutfishing at 5:33 PM on August 24, 2004
Hot sauce works sometimes, but if you want to be quick and effective, you'd be better off with pepper spray.
posted by insomnia_lj at 5:41 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by insomnia_lj at 5:41 PM on August 24, 2004
MetaFilter: You'd be better off with pepper spray.
posted by NationalKato at 7:07 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by NationalKato at 7:07 PM on August 24, 2004
Any other male MeFites who grew up in the 80s find that sentence strangely erotic?
Change it to Natalie and hell yeah. She was a hot tamale even without sauce.
posted by jonmc at 7:24 PM on August 24, 2004
Change it to Natalie and hell yeah. She was a hot tamale even without sauce.
posted by jonmc at 7:24 PM on August 24, 2004
This strikes me as a bad idea, though I can see an otherwise good parent doing it and the kid turning out all right. It does remind me of a scene in Little Men, by Louisa May Alcott, in which Mr. Bhaer tells one of the boys how as a child his grandmother snipped the end of his tongue open with scissors to teach him not to lie. I could barely read the passage. So horrible.
In my experience, anecdotal as it is, the most effective method of parenting was and is by example.
This is true. I have a nephew I have always found impossible to manage. I have never resorted to physical punishment, but I must admit I threatened it a few times because NOTHING else worked. I never had such problems with his three sisters. I quite firmly believe that his real problem was the fact that his dad acted like a jerk - i.e., refuses to help around the house, thought it was funny to say hurtful things and be a rude boor in general. The girls modelled themselves after their mother, a tactful, kind woman. My nephew identified himself with his dad, and imitated him. At 17, he's only now starting to learn appropriate behaviour.
posted by orange swan at 7:27 PM on August 24, 2004
In my experience, anecdotal as it is, the most effective method of parenting was and is by example.
This is true. I have a nephew I have always found impossible to manage. I have never resorted to physical punishment, but I must admit I threatened it a few times because NOTHING else worked. I never had such problems with his three sisters. I quite firmly believe that his real problem was the fact that his dad acted like a jerk - i.e., refuses to help around the house, thought it was funny to say hurtful things and be a rude boor in general. The girls modelled themselves after their mother, a tactful, kind woman. My nephew identified himself with his dad, and imitated him. At 17, he's only now starting to learn appropriate behaviour.
posted by orange swan at 7:27 PM on August 24, 2004
those who regularly use the punishment say it teaches their charges valuable and long-lasting lessons.
yeah, the lessons are so "long-lasting," they have to "regularly use the punishment." What a stupid sentence to describe a stupid practice.
Punitive actions teach kids to seek revenge. We try to stick to leading by example (although it was really hard to give up swearing), allowing logical consequences ("maybe you can't find that toy because it's buried under all the others you forgot to put away") and taking away priveleges whenever possible.
posted by whatnot at 7:49 PM on August 24, 2004
yeah, the lessons are so "long-lasting," they have to "regularly use the punishment." What a stupid sentence to describe a stupid practice.
Punitive actions teach kids to seek revenge. We try to stick to leading by example (although it was really hard to give up swearing), allowing logical consequences ("maybe you can't find that toy because it's buried under all the others you forgot to put away") and taking away priveleges whenever possible.
posted by whatnot at 7:49 PM on August 24, 2004
I dunno. I think every human being needs to have the shit slapped out of them at least once in their lives, just to demystify violence, if for no other reason.
posted by jonmc at 7:55 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by jonmc at 7:55 PM on August 24, 2004
I've always been under the impression that lead by example is the best way to raise a child, but my thoughts on child-rearing were really expanded when I saw a documentary on the Innuit. In the documentary, they showed that the children of Innuit were given basically no supervision. They were allowed to go wherever and do whatever they wanted. As it turned out, the children naturally followed their parents around and mimicked whatever the parents were doing.
I saw that documentary over 15 years ago, probably, and still remember it to this day. They showed little boys and girls pretending to skin seals and carve ice blocks and build igloos, etc. It was really cool.
Ever since then, I've always talked to children exactly like I would speak to an adult. If I can't get a child to behave, I just wait until they get tired. If you don't respond to their tantrums, they will stop. I NEVER tell a child what to do - I always ask a child politely and say 'please' and 'thank you' and explain why they should do it, and I answer every question they have. It is amazing how much children understand if you actually explain it to them. I have experience with some very hyperactive and tantrum prone children too.
posted by PigAlien at 7:57 PM on August 24, 2004
I saw that documentary over 15 years ago, probably, and still remember it to this day. They showed little boys and girls pretending to skin seals and carve ice blocks and build igloos, etc. It was really cool.
Ever since then, I've always talked to children exactly like I would speak to an adult. If I can't get a child to behave, I just wait until they get tired. If you don't respond to their tantrums, they will stop. I NEVER tell a child what to do - I always ask a child politely and say 'please' and 'thank you' and explain why they should do it, and I answer every question they have. It is amazing how much children understand if you actually explain it to them. I have experience with some very hyperactive and tantrum prone children too.
posted by PigAlien at 7:57 PM on August 24, 2004
or as a wiser man than me said:
"I am sick and tired of hearing that fucking speech. You know? These people come out of rehab they always have the same story. "Well you know, I became an alcoholic because my parents didn't love me enough. And then I became a junkie because my parents didn't love me enough. And I went into hypnosis and therapy and I found out that parents used to hit me." Hey! My parents used to beat the living shit out of me! Ok? And looking back on it, I'm glad they did! And I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my kids, aren't you? For no reason whatsoever. *thbbt* "What'd you hit me for?" "Shutup and get out there and mow the lawn for Christs sake!" There's therapy for ya! Mowing the lawn and crying at the same time."
posted by jonmc at 7:58 PM on August 24, 2004
"I am sick and tired of hearing that fucking speech. You know? These people come out of rehab they always have the same story. "Well you know, I became an alcoholic because my parents didn't love me enough. And then I became a junkie because my parents didn't love me enough. And I went into hypnosis and therapy and I found out that parents used to hit me." Hey! My parents used to beat the living shit out of me! Ok? And looking back on it, I'm glad they did! And I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my kids, aren't you? For no reason whatsoever. *thbbt* "What'd you hit me for?" "Shutup and get out there and mow the lawn for Christs sake!" There's therapy for ya! Mowing the lawn and crying at the same time."
posted by jonmc at 7:58 PM on August 24, 2004
jonmc - ouch.
PigAlien - I have a deep respect for that approach.
posted by troutfishing at 8:45 PM on August 24, 2004
PigAlien - I have a deep respect for that approach.
posted by troutfishing at 8:45 PM on August 24, 2004
Change it to Natalie and hell yeah. She was a hot tamale even without sauce.
posted by jonmc at 9:24 PM CST on August 24
Natalie?
You either have confused the cast, or you're an even odder man than I thought.
posted by Ynoxas at 9:11 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by jonmc at 9:24 PM CST on August 24
Natalie?
You either have confused the cast, or you're an even odder man than I thought.
posted by Ynoxas at 9:11 PM on August 24, 2004
psmealy, the only problem is when you have a smart ass kid like I was who figured out that saliva had an excellent surface tension so being forced to eat soap allowed me to blow monster bubbles. I think I only got the soap eating thing 2 or 3 times because of that.
posted by jakestone at 9:34 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by jakestone at 9:34 PM on August 24, 2004
Can anyone explain to me why this "hot saucing" thing is all over the news? Really, I'm sure there are various reasons why one form of discipline is more or less appropriate than another, but why does there seem to be a media obsession with putting hot sauce on a kid's tongue all of a sudden? Is this any more outrageous than, say, "taking the kid behind the woodshed" or "dad's belt"? (You could argue that it is, or that these other forms of corporal punishment are worse, but I don't see stories about it on ABC News or the Washington Post)
posted by deanc at 10:02 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by deanc at 10:02 PM on August 24, 2004
NostalgiaFilter. This thread makes me miss Uncle Fess.
posted by Wulfgar! at 10:03 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by Wulfgar! at 10:03 PM on August 24, 2004
(Did I win for painstakingly working out Googling the chemical formulas of capsaicin and sodium stearate?) I don't think I can win my own thread, though. There's probably a law. Being written hastily.
posted by emelenjr at 10:16 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by emelenjr at 10:16 PM on August 24, 2004
PigAlien - Not having seen the program, I gotta wonder "Maybe there's just not a lot of stimulation on the tundra besides whatever the parents doing." I have doubts that approach would be as effective when the kids can turn to 300 different channels of tv for alternate behavior to ape.
posted by NortonDC at 10:18 PM on August 24, 2004
posted by NortonDC at 10:18 PM on August 24, 2004
You know Lisa Whelchel has recorded some god-awful Christian rock albums.
I think one could do well by choosing to do exactly what she does not do.
It seems like Molly Ringwald was the only one who knew enough to escape that career-crushing boarding school.
posted by milovoo at 9:19 AM on August 25, 2004
I think one could do well by choosing to do exactly what she does not do.
It seems like Molly Ringwald was the only one who knew enough to escape that career-crushing boarding school.
posted by milovoo at 9:19 AM on August 25, 2004
Repulsive.
For the record, my ex making a serious suggestion that our son have his mouth washed out with soap was the breaking point for me. I told him to move out shortly after.
posted by jokeefe at 10:31 AM on August 25, 2004
For the record, my ex making a serious suggestion that our son have his mouth washed out with soap was the breaking point for me. I told him to move out shortly after.
posted by jokeefe at 10:31 AM on August 25, 2004
It seems like Molly Ringwald was the only one who knew enough to escape that career-crushing boarding school.
George Clooney, too.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:33 AM on August 25, 2004
For the record, I've never heard of this before, my parents never did anything like that to me, and I wouldn't do it to any of any hypothetical kids I may have, but I don't understand why this is getting press, these days.
Though I did think that the mouth-washed-out-with-soap scene in A Christmas Story was pretty funny.
posted by deanc at 11:37 AM on August 25, 2004
Though I did think that the mouth-washed-out-with-soap scene in A Christmas Story was pretty funny.
posted by deanc at 11:37 AM on August 25, 2004
Natalie?
You either have confused the cast, or you're an even odder man than I thought.
So he's either wrong or "odd" for finding a fat chick attractive? Lovely. That you took time to post that observation is total asshattery.
posted by tristeza at 1:50 PM on August 25, 2004
You either have confused the cast, or you're an even odder man than I thought.
So he's either wrong or "odd" for finding a fat chick attractive? Lovely. That you took time to post that observation is total asshattery.
posted by tristeza at 1:50 PM on August 25, 2004
Change it to Natalie and hell yeah. She was a hot tamale even without sauce.
IIRC, Natalie was the first character to lose her virginity on the show, so she definitely has the leg up on the others as far as experience is concerned.
posted by jonp72 at 11:01 PM on August 25, 2004
IIRC, Natalie was the first character to lose her virginity on the show, so she definitely has the leg up on the others as far as experience is concerned.
posted by jonp72 at 11:01 PM on August 25, 2004
Btw, Mindy Cohn (Natalie) now does the voice for Velma in Scooby Doo.
posted by beth at 7:51 AM on August 26, 2004
posted by beth at 7:51 AM on August 26, 2004
Tristeza: I have nothing against "fat chicks" and honestly prefer my women curvy and soft.
But she is ass ugly. It doesn't matter if she weighs 130 or 330. Just because she's heavy doesn't automatically make her "big and beautiful".
She was a man-faced, acned, stringy haired dumpling.
Specific enough?
Yes, I think it's odd given the other members of the cast that he found Natalie the most attractive. And honestly I just figured it was posted in jest.
Shit, even Mrs. Garrett was hotter.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:24 AM on August 26, 2004
But she is ass ugly. It doesn't matter if she weighs 130 or 330. Just because she's heavy doesn't automatically make her "big and beautiful".
She was a man-faced, acned, stringy haired dumpling.
Specific enough?
Yes, I think it's odd given the other members of the cast that he found Natalie the most attractive. And honestly I just figured it was posted in jest.
Shit, even Mrs. Garrett was hotter.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:24 AM on August 26, 2004
Yeah, but she had big hooters.
Blair had the bad feathered hair. Tootie was just annoying. Jo had a cool personality but looked like a beaver.
So that leaves ol' Nat.
She was a man-faced, acned, stringy haired dumpling.
So am I. What of it? OK, I'm not a dumbling, more like a breadstick, but the point stands.
posted by jonmc at 8:28 AM on August 26, 2004
Blair had the bad feathered hair. Tootie was just annoying. Jo had a cool personality but looked like a beaver.
So that leaves ol' Nat.
She was a man-faced, acned, stringy haired dumpling.
So am I. What of it? OK, I'm not a dumbling, more like a breadstick, but the point stands.
posted by jonmc at 8:28 AM on August 26, 2004
ynoxas - ok, point taken, sorry to assume.
maybe i'm just sensitive because i once had a dream wherein there was a biopic of my life being planned to air on ABC, and they cast mindy cohn as me. i woke up crying.
posted by tristeza at 10:12 AM on August 26, 2004
maybe i'm just sensitive because i once had a dream wherein there was a biopic of my life being planned to air on ABC, and they cast mindy cohn as me. i woke up crying.
posted by tristeza at 10:12 AM on August 26, 2004
johnmc: well you're a man, so being man-faced is not, necessarily, a detriment.
tristeza: no harm done. Your comment more than made up for it. I both laughed heartily and wanted to pat your head and say "there, there" at the same time.
posted by Ynoxas at 12:47 PM on August 26, 2004
tristeza: no harm done. Your comment more than made up for it. I both laughed heartily and wanted to pat your head and say "there, there" at the same time.
posted by Ynoxas at 12:47 PM on August 26, 2004
jonmc: forgive the extraneous "h". I use a phonetic keyboard.
posted by Ynoxas at 12:49 PM on August 26, 2004
posted by Ynoxas at 12:49 PM on August 26, 2004
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