Question Time

September 9, 2004 8:16 PM

Just One Question... "How many times have you been arrested, Mr. President?"
$1002.21 Bounty to the first person to ask George W. Bush this question in a public forum. [PayPal donations accepted to increase the bounty]
posted by lagado (42 comments total)

Isn't it just three times, or are they talking about the potential cover-up of a coke possession charge?

When I was a kid, my mom would always tell me "never do anything so stupid that you get arrested for it. When you've gotten arrested, you can never be president of the US." She seriously used to tell me that, to encourage me to make better choices. But I checked out the constitution, and there's no mention of that.

Now I'm wondering how many other things my mom lied about.
posted by mathowie at 8:24 PM on September 9, 2004

Is it now illegal to hold public office if you're convicted of a felony?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:25 PM on September 9, 2004

Illegal and possible in a practical sense are two different things, C_D.
posted by billsaysthis at 8:35 PM on September 9, 2004

Well, as a felony convict, you can't vote, but I think you can still run.
posted by psmealey at 8:40 PM on September 9, 2004

Even if it's not, Matt & Civil_Disobedient, it seems as though the current political climate in the US is all about digging up mud from the past. I mean, you guys have an actual, troops-on-the-ground war going on, heavy questions about foreign policy, the philosophy of terror, the importance of international order and balance between domestic security and the needs of an empire, and all I'm hearing from either side in the election nowadays is what the other candidate did during Vietnam, interspersed with cries of "9/11!" and "I'm not Bush!" Not that Canada's much better, mind you--our recent election proved nothing save that vision is a liability and nobody wants to hear about capital-I Ideas anymore[*]--but these are crucial times, and you'd think the national debate would at least try to reflect that, right?

Well, you can always hope so, anyway.

[*] The only real discussion of any Vision-For-The-Future type national policy I recall was the Conservative's health care platform--and it wasn't the Conservatives bringing it up, it was the Liberals doing so in order to bash it.
posted by arto at 8:42 PM on September 9, 2004

Well, as a felony convict, you can't vote, but I think you can still run.

You can run, but you can't hide.
posted by arto at 8:43 PM on September 9, 2004

[this is a waste of money]
posted by mosch at 8:48 PM on September 9, 2004

arto, you and your non-United-Statesian brethren need to speak up more. It's so refreshing. The U.S. stank in here is making my nose burn.
posted by bitpart at 8:51 PM on September 9, 2004

Now I'm wondering how many other things my mom lied about.

...

This straight line is just so tempting.
posted by reklaw at 8:51 PM on September 9, 2004

arto - Keep in mind that the knuckleheads that came up with this idea are just that, knuckleheads (meaning, no one that really matters). I'd argue that the person that brought this little piece of "the best of the web" to Mefi is equally as knuckleheaded. I'm glad lagado has given this the extra exposure it so obviously deserves. {sigh}

Wulfgar!'s dream ("How 'bout issues, people?") seems to be but a dream indeed... at least here at MetaFilter, that is.
posted by Witty at 8:58 PM on September 9, 2004

Just One Question...

Peter Falk is blogging now? AWESOME! ;)
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:59 PM on September 9, 2004

Hell, I'd like to ask him that one face-to-face to get a glimpse of his eyes widening and his upper lip trembling slightly -- just before a burly Secret Service type flattens my sorry ass.
posted by alumshubby at 9:12 PM on September 9, 2004

Wulfgar!'s dream ("How 'bout issues, people?") seems to be but a dream indeed... at least here at MetaFilter, that is.

Come on Witty, I've yet to see you contribute anything besides bitching about how no one else is contributing to a "real" debate... doesn't charity (and many things beside) begin at home?
posted by clevershark at 9:16 PM on September 9, 2004

You people are so mean! Back in the "goat story" days, George W was a completely different person. (Let alone comparisons to the George W of the Vietnam War era)
posted by troutfishing at 9:17 PM on September 9, 2004

"How many times have you been arrested, Mr. President?"

Hopefully one more is in his future...
posted by rushmc at 9:19 PM on September 9, 2004

Aren't there more pressing questions to ask than this?
posted by MrAnonymous at 9:25 PM on September 9, 2004

Aren't there more pressing questions to ask than this?

Of course there are! But the point is that more serious or pressing questions will go completely unanswered. The best you can hope for is to ask Bush that question that will get the deer-in-the-headlights "thoughtful leadership" response he showed us on 9/11/01.
posted by psmealey at 9:34 PM on September 9, 2004

I'll give fifty bucks to anyone who does the same thing to Kerry.
posted by angry modem at 9:35 PM on September 9, 2004

Questioner: "Just one question: How many times have you been arrested, Mr. President?"

Bush: (pauses, flashes one of his trademark simian smirks) "Look, are you asking me if I've made mistakes in my past? I've been open and forthright with the American people about my past from Day One. But this campaign isn't about the past. It's about the future. You see, I'm a war president. I don't like it. Nobody wants to be a war president, but I am. And I understand that there are evildoers in the world who want to do us great harm. Now my opponent wants to take us back to the days when America was weak, but we're not going to let him do that. With your vote in November, we can make America stronger and the world safer. Next question."

A thousand dollars down the drain, and Karl Rove is smiling.
posted by TBoneMcCool at 9:36 PM on September 9, 2004

Come on Witty, I've yet to see you contribute anything besides bitching about how no one else is contributing to a "real" debate... doesn't charity (and many things beside) begin at home?

Don't sweat it. He's just pissed at me right now because I pointed out that he constantly attempts to derail whatever he finds unpalatable by claiming that Mefi rules trump Presidential misconduct. Go figure.
posted by Wulfgar! at 9:36 PM on September 9, 2004

I'll give fifty bucks to anyone who does the same thing to Kerry.

That would be a 50 well spent, just for the laughter. Has anyone accused Kerry of arrests that didn't pertain to political activism? Hell, I'd ask that in a debate. Political activist vs cokehead. Sweet.
posted by Wulfgar! at 9:39 PM on September 9, 2004

The bounty had better go up, waaaay up to get someone to do it. Is Bush's vindictive nature in question? He'd probably personally castrate the asker once everything was behind closed doors. I don't know how much a new set of nuts costs these days but I bet its more than a thousand bucks.
posted by fenriq at 9:40 PM on September 9, 2004

"Mr President, have you ever manufactured crystal meth?"
- Al Franken
posted by mr.marx at 10:07 PM on September 9, 2004

You get my vote, TBoneMcCool.
posted by tomplus2 at 10:10 PM on September 9, 2004

"How often do you beat your wife Mr. President?"

"OH, so am I to understand that you are DENYING that you beat your wife??!!"

"Can you produce documents that prove you've never beaten your wife?"
posted by republican at 10:19 PM on September 9, 2004

"Yes, but the font is proportional, and there are superscripts."
posted by quonsar at 10:23 PM on September 9, 2004

It will be hard to ask Kerry anything, he hasn't answered a reporter's question (Daily Show doesn't count) in 38 days.
posted by Mick at 10:25 PM on September 9, 2004

It will be hard to ask Kerry anything, he hasn't answered a reporter's question (Daily Show doesn't count) in 38 days.

And when was the last time our noble president deigned to hold a press conference?
posted by pmurray63 at 11:42 PM on September 9, 2004

um, that isn't entirely accurate Mick. True, Kerry hasn't held press conferences and has been less available to national media, but he makes himself available to local reporters everywhere he goes.
posted by madamjujujive at 11:55 PM on September 9, 2004

And when was the last time our noble president deigned to hold a press conference?
That would be 92 days ago, after the G8, if I'm not mistaken.
posted by bashos_frog at 12:20 AM on September 10, 2004

How many babies heads have you bitten off, President Bush?

I have a followup.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:25 AM on September 10, 2004

He averages about 3 press conferences per year, compared to about 18 per year for his father. Not much chance for someone to get the bounty.
posted by bashos_frog at 12:29 AM on September 10, 2004

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize that this thread counted as a "real" issue. My bad.
posted by Witty at 1:00 AM on September 10, 2004

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh BURNED!
posted by Satapher at 1:50 AM on September 10, 2004

"Mr. President, where do you keep your silver {coke} spoon these days?"
[sounds of CCR "Fortunate Son" in background]
posted by nofundy at 4:43 AM on September 10, 2004

fenriq, don't worry too much about the whole castration bit. W wouldn't do it personally, he has never done anything himself.
posted by jmgorman at 4:52 AM on September 10, 2004

" Well, as a felony convict, you can't vote, but I think you can still run.
posted by psmealey at 8:40 PM PST on September 9"

Or if your name resembles that of a felony convict.
posted by hoborg at 6:25 AM on September 10, 2004

Sorry I can't add anything substantive to this crucial issue, but I'm still chuckling over this scene:

Matt's Ne'er-do-well Buddy: C'mon, Matt, let's go spray-paint some obscenities on the side of the school!
Matt: But my mom said... hang on...
Matt's Ne'er-do-well Buddy: What's that you're reading? Is that... the US Constitution?
Matt: Just a sec... mm-hm... mm-hm... [flip, flip] mm-hmm... annnnnd.... OK! Excellent! Let's go!
posted by soyjoy at 7:50 AM on September 10, 2004

Now I'm wondering how many other things my mom lied about.

You know Matt, we can always start a separate bounty...
posted by mkultra at 7:54 AM on September 10, 2004

One additional question: where does the money go if Bush is never asked this question before he's voted out of office on his cold thieving ass? Does it return to its contributors after the election?
posted by Peter H at 8:41 AM on September 10, 2004

Far more worth while would be if a reporter asked Bush how much a gal. of milk costs, or to be tougher, how much the price has risen in the last year.

OR

How much does 1 gal. of milk cost?

How long do you have to work at minimum wage to buy a gal. of milk?
posted by drezdn at 9:08 AM on September 10, 2004

where does the money go if Bush is never asked this question before he's voted out of office

From the site:

If it is unclaimed by 11/2/04, the total donations will be given to the DNC.
posted by jpoulos at 11:39 AM on September 10, 2004