October 5, 2000
11:52 AM   Subscribe

One word: Creepy. (Note that IBM doesn't actually own this patent -- they just run the patent lookup service.) Props to Victor.
posted by jjg (15 comments total)
 
just don't get it on your right hand or forehead.

can't we just use an iris-scan or something?

rcb
posted by rebeccablood at 11:56 AM on October 5, 2000


It would not have surprised me to se a "666" somewhere in the patent numbers.
posted by harmful at 12:03 PM on October 5, 2000


I tend to like this patent a bit more. Just say ouch.

Patent number 4,016,875 if the link starts to fail.
posted by skallas at 12:06 PM on October 5, 2000


In case anybody else was going to look it up, it's Revelations 13:16-17
posted by harmful at 12:13 PM on October 5, 2000


You're only getting half the story of the "Just say ouch" invention without the drawings. Check it out here.
posted by milnak at 12:15 PM on October 5, 2000


I love this quote: "With this device in her possession a woman may feel secure that if employed a male becoming intimate with her shall not receive pleasure from the experience." Now that's what I call understatement.
posted by jjg at 12:19 PM on October 5, 2000


Theres a link to images on that link I put up, except it takes forever to load and uses a quicktime plug-in. Just takes forever. I think its a .tiff
posted by skallas at 12:22 PM on October 5, 2000


"I'll be right back...I'm going to slip out of something...and into something more comfortable for *you*."

on the other hand, how quickly would a group of fetishists ...errr... spring up who would *desire* such an experience?

rcb
posted by rebeccablood at 12:26 PM on October 5, 2000


I feel woozy. I can't say I'd feel bad for the intended target of Skallas's product, but DAMN! Vagina dentata. This seems like it rests on the outside edge of the definition of mantrapping. Of course, I am totally in favor of mantrapping (word to the wise, don't try breaking into my basement door).
posted by thirteen at 12:29 PM on October 5, 2000


Hmm. Penis laceration while inserted in the vagina. Sound like a sure-fire AIDS recipe to anyone else?

GA-ROW-AS!
posted by ethmar at 12:42 PM on October 5, 2000


I'm sure whatever STD you didn't get from him you're guarenteed to get from this thing. I'm still not sure if its supposed to come out when it springs, I don't know of any woman who wants an angry man in complete pain connected to her, sounds like someone's going to recieve a nasty beating though I'm sure that's preferable to a rape. And how exactly do you reach over to the phone and call the cops in this situation? "Okay you move this way and I'll..."

Lets give the inventor a little credit, its a 25 year old device, hopefully we'll be seeing the stun-gun variety on sale soon on a cheesy late night commercial. Not sold in stores!
posted by skallas at 12:50 PM on October 5, 2000


I hadn't been, Bren, but thanks.
posted by baylink at 5:46 PM on October 5, 2000


The original link has to be a joke. A better joke along the same line, here.
posted by costas at 11:01 AM on October 6, 2000


If this one is a joke, they have taken it to an extreme. I guess we'll find out on October 30. Digital Angel and their patent.
posted by iblog at 12:01 PM on October 6, 2000


The original link is not a joke. It was first on /. a few months ago too, sometime around when it was originally granted (March 2 was the grant date).

That's not the proof of it's reality, the fact that it's in the database is. :-)

It's not a terribly original idea, either. Barcode-as-identity's been around for a while. I'm not quite sure how this particular patent evades prior art laws (or if it's been contested at all).
posted by cCranium at 2:01 PM on October 6, 2000


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