TBN: Send Money... See Riches

September 20, 2004 12:42 PM

The Los Angeles Times gives a fascinating look at TBN, home to Paul and Jan Crouch.
posted by togdon (21 comments total)

...even viewers who couldn't afford a $1,000 pledge should take a "step of faith" and make one anyway. The Lord would repay them many times over, he said.

"Do you think God would have any trouble getting $1,000 extra to you somehow?"

Sometimes I hope there is a Hell just so I know people like this will roast.
posted by substrate at 12:50 PM on September 20, 2004

Religion sucks. What's new?
posted by Berend at 12:50 PM on September 20, 2004

Interesting links, togdon. See also.
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:55 PM on September 20, 2004

Is it me or does her hair vary between a sort of pinkish champagne color and a lavender?

My impression of Jan is she's Tammy Faye Bakker without the genuine faith and kindness side that Tammy has exhibited.
posted by Pollomacho at 1:10 PM on September 20, 2004

George Carlin said it best (overgeneralizing, of course):

Religion--easily--has the Greates Bullshit Story Ever Told! Think about it: religion has actually convinced people--many of them adults--that there's an invisible man who lives in the sky and watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And who has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.

And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to remain and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry, forever and ever, till the end of time. But he loves you!

He loves you, and he needs money! He always needs money. he's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, but somehow... he just can't handle money. Religion takes in billions of dollars, pays no taxes, and somehow always needs a little more. now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy shit!

posted by callmejay at 1:11 PM on September 20, 2004

This pisses me off alot. These people need to be stripped of all their money and dropped into the middle of the damned ocean.

Even if you can't afford it (though they could have paid for the building easily without asking for money) send in money. You don't need food, the Lord will provide you with food. FUCK! I hate religious thieves like these two.

Although some of my ire is directed at the dupes who send them all that money so they can live high on the hog (and hump men behind closed doors.....)

And this was a nice bit " The network, little known outside fundamentalist Christian circles, was buffeted by unwanted publicity last week, when The Times reported that Crouch had paid a former employee $425,000 to keep silent about an alleged homosexual tryst."
posted by fenriq at 1:12 PM on September 20, 2004

Well, after looking at Jan, I can understand why Paul might switch teams.
posted by jonmc at 1:17 PM on September 20, 2004

jonmc, damn, I just looked and she looks like a damned alien! That is one nasty looking gold diggin' ho-bag! The worst part is that I bet she's one thousand times worse live and up close and all fake and false piety and all that bullshit that all of these shyster religiou-crooks are like.

Never thought I'd look back at Tammy Faye nostalgically.
posted by fenriq at 1:21 PM on September 20, 2004

Hal Lindsey rocks. That is all.
posted by euphorb at 9:35 PM on September 20, 2004

All the Jan Crouch you can handle: "No More Tears" (real media)
posted by eatitlive at 10:08 PM on September 20, 2004

If you can stand a religios viewpoint in the middle of this particular bash, the thing that bugs me about Christian broadcasting networks is the assumption that the world needs something that takes the rhetoric and presentational form of a secular network and handles faith-related content the same way. I think you could make a pretty good argument that modern broadcast media handle most things shallowly and poorly. There's a phrase from Chaim Potok's My Name Is Asher Lev that I'm reminded of:

...The fact is that gossip, rumors, mythmaking, and news stories are not appropriate vehicles for the communication of nuances of truth, those subtle tonalities that are often the truly crucial elements in a causal chain.

Or, take John 14, especially if you look at it as canon, quoting Jesus as saying:

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.

(Emphasis mine). So this phenomenon -- of Christians looking around at secular phenomenon they find in the world, and then creating a "Christianized" version of these things -- seems really odd to me, and likely to be, from the outset, a spiritual wild goose chase. But obviously it's been going on for a long time, and it continues to go on.
posted by weston at 10:57 PM on September 20, 2004

Weston, it's comments like yours that give Christians a good name. I tip my agnostic hat to ya.
posted by Optamystic at 3:01 AM on September 21, 2004

Look, I am not fond of TBN, and etc etc...but lay off Jan. She may look weird as crap, but she is a sweetheart.
posted by konolia at 3:57 AM on September 21, 2004

all i can say about tbn is how beautiful they were to my acid addled eyes in 1989, three in the morning, in fayetteville, arkansas.

beautiful white light, blue energy from her hair, magickal beyond all belief, at least until we were distracted by the yoda doll coming to life and ranting about thelema.

nice to know they're still in business. i'm glad there's enough gullibility in the world to keep them going.
posted by pandaharma at 4:02 AM on September 21, 2004

pandaharma...I'm so glad to find I'm not the only one! Tho' it was 1999...

Fun times...
posted by black8 at 4:32 AM on September 21, 2004

I called the TBN "prayer line" at a low point during the 80's and promptly started receiving their monthly begletters. I sent the suggested 20$ "faith seed deposit" (they surprised me with a neat TBN coat-of-arms coffee "love gift" mug a few weeks later). /confession

I don't watch TBN anymore, but I immensly enjoy (I will burn for sure) sites like http://www.geocities.com/mw_director/tbnwatch0501.html
posted by Cedric at 6:11 AM on September 21, 2004

May they burn in hell. Or, better yet, since I don't believe in hell... may they burn in some mad serial killer's backyard.
posted by PigAlien at 6:39 AM on September 21, 2004

She may look weird as crap, but she is a sweetheart.

She's a fraud artist living off of other people's insecurities. She belongs in jail.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 6:58 AM on September 21, 2004

they surprised me with a neat TBN coat-of-arms coffee "love gift" mug a few weeks later

Note to self, scour ebay for TBN mug.

pandaharma, black8, you are not alone, except I was somewhere between the two. How many of us are there out there? I must say though my very favorites were always Jack (warning, slow and sound) and Rexella. Please see the movie section, especially the very special film adaptation of the book Left Behind starring Kirk "Groin Pains" Cameron and (if you can believe this would be possible) its sequel (not to mention a Busey sighting).
posted by Pollomacho at 9:54 AM on September 21, 2004

What does God need with a starship eight million dollars?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:51 AM on September 21, 2004

I live a few miles away from the big white TBN HQ, and they have FREE VIRTUAL REALITY MOVIES. No, not with some dumb goggles and force feedback gloves, but a normal (Christian) movie, with super-duper 3d surround sound. When an evil UN official shoots his gun at Kirk Cameron, in Left Behind II, it really sounds like it's whizzing by your godbeloved head. When there's a scene with explosions/an earthquake/the booming glory of god, they kick up the subwoofers beneath the seats. It's wild stuff.

They also deck out the building with white lights that read "Happy Birthday Jesus," for Christmas. Except, they have them on year-round--even during the CA power crisis.
posted by LimePi at 2:26 PM on September 21, 2004